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I read your post 3 times, FG. This is becoming a never ending nightmare. Hell on earth! WHY oh Why? is all I can say….
This thought came to me FG(we have a lot of similar gambling traits). Would you think your husband is being too soft/easy on you? I often think mine is with me. Maybe they are just withdrawing. Getting sick and tired of all the excuses , all the slips all the apologies, all the false promises, all the lies. Sometimes I think my husband has built his own barriers, to protect himself from my gambling.
Life is too short for this BS, FG. We are threading on thin ice now. You won’t believe the last day I gambled the woman I had met a long time ago and told you about -the woman who’s husband got sick of her carry on and DIDN’T give her any more chances arrived all dolled up and plonked herself at a machine beside me. I could tell by the way she played, that she was broke! I thought of you, FG. I thought of me!
Is this what we are waiting for?Very well done on your 6 G Free Months, Maverick and on all your other achievements. I was thinking of you this weekend, and wondering how you were faring out sleeping in the car . (I must say it sounds dodgy to me!) The temperatures have dropped and the nights are foggy so that makes a big change from getting eye shut in the summer at say midnight and wakening to sunlight streaming in your car window. I’m glad to hear you have “upgraded”. The garage sounds like a gift for sure Maverick but I guess it’s not designed for human habitation. Especially if you are rigging up gas to cook on!! Be careful, Maverick. I like taking risks but sometimes we need to check out the finer details. God forbid that anything serious should go wrong, but apart from that, it might be just a matter of time before some of the other garage users become suspicious and report “unusual activity”. What do you think yourself of the likelihood of that happening?
I’m really happy that you are not gambling, Maverick. It was playing games with your head . Worse than any drug. You know that. ‘Don’t need this ol’ doll to tell you. As for me, I am NOT 6 months G, free like you. I’m still dabbling , supping with the devil and losing the little sanity I have left; clawing money from the wrong sources and discarding it in the blink of an eye as if it were going out of fashion. How crazy is that! Today is Day 3 for me! Like you, I have that spluttering/bursting cough. I too thought I had ruptured a blood vessel or part of my gut during the night and the wheezing was so loud, I got no sleep. Well, even less than usual. It sounded like a sewing machine. Sort of a musical sound which I would have enjoyed if it hadn’t been coming from my own bronchial tubes. Today, I spent €50 in the Health shop buying natural anti inflammatory/soothing products. I found it hard to pay so much for so few items . The Manuka honey had 33% off , so that was a bargain. Strange how we could shove ten/twenty €50 notes into slot machines knowing the poor return and yet cringe over buying a few health products that will help us to breathe.
We are not BAD, Maverick. I agree, but are we MAD?
Always in my prayers Mav.
Be good!
You deserve the best for your huge efforts. Take a bow!Sadly, there will be no Miracle, Normy, but there is hope and lots of help available. The time has come for you to walk away from gambling. It ruins lives. I am double your age. I should have a comfortable life but instead I will be paying gambling debt for years to come.
Welcome to GT
Ps Not quite double your age, but I feel 80!I applaud your loyalty, Lenore, for not wanting to tarnish your boyfriend’s reputation. Has he asked you to keep this a secret? Gamblers often request secrecy from their nearest and dearest.
Just remember that secrecy causes a lot of stress. “We are only as sick as our secrets” is a commonly used phrase. When we have to hide things, we become dishonest with ourselves. This has far reaching consequences. Life is difficult enough without adding unnecessary stress and strain. Take care of yourself, is my advice. This site will offer lots of help. Gamanon is also an invaluable service. Gambling is a progressive, insidious and long term disease. It stretches faith, loyalty and optimism to extreme limits for the gambler and the “victims”. Being aware of it’s effects and consequences will help you to seek the support and protection YOU need. It seems to have taken it’s toll on many areas of your life already. Open your eyes before you make long term commitments. Compulsive Gamblers come with heavy baggage.
I know, because sadly, I fit into that bracket.
Among many other things, I am a Compulsive Gambler.
Keep posting!Bettie, when we look in the wrong places for solace, what do we expect to find? We both know the answer to that question! Grief, rejection and tears. This apples to Gambling and FWBs. I believe , strongly that the two are linked. We create an illusion that this is where our happiness lies. That’s FALSE! Neither will bring one iota of happiness, Bettie.
Time to kiss both goodbye again, B! It ain’t easy but when we persist with self torture, directly or indirectly , we suffer (I have deep scars to prove that, B!)
You will survive without both Bettie. We all will. It means walking away and never looking back….. Ouch!!
“Pleasant experiences make Life delightful; painful experiences lead to GROWTH!”
Look at how you have grown, Bettie. Don’t go back to being codependent with the people /things who will stunt further growth.
Lick your wounds and move on, one day at a time.
It’s your only choice!Any appointment for your MRI yet Micky?
Hope you are well and still G free.Pride comes before a Fall, FG
Sometimes we need to “humble ourselves to be exalted”!!!!!Brilliant post, Kin
I just read it on P’s thread too.
“When we enjoy the scent of a thousand flowers, we won’t miss the fragrance of one”!I was thinking of you earlier, Seri. My son had a girlfriend here who’s mam is into restoring, re cycling and selling her wares. Her had does the heavy work i.e the uplifting and restoration of pieces of furniture. Her dream always was to have a shop. She has achieved that goal now after years of hard work They are in their late 50s. I was thinking “Seri could achieve that”.
Go for it Seri. It’s your passion. Gambling is a waste of time.Great description of Recovery, Brave!
Every word gives you a reason to stay “clean”!Great description of Recovery, Brave!
Every word gives you a reason to stay “clean”!The main ingredients for gambling are Time and Money
How did you manage to have both, FG?
I know when I gamble I have to plan my trip. That involves telling a lot of lies.
Was it worth the stress?
I would think not!Safe journey, Mermaid!
Stay strong. Stay wise. Use the Recovery tools you have been given here.
I hope you will stay in touch with GT.
Looking forward to hearing how Life improves for you.
One day at a time.