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So sorry to hear that Mickey.
No words can change what happened.
Just want to let you know I can relate to how you are feeling.
It’s unbearable at times.Welcome to GT, Mick.
Well done on taking the first step . That’s the most difficult one.
I’m here since 2008 and if I had taken the advice I was given then I’d be rich now.
There is a lot of help available for gamblers Mick. It’s up to us to put in the work . Stopping is easy . Staying stopped is the hard bit. However, it can be done.
Christmas is a great incentive to stop. I’m hoping that this year I will have two G free months behind me by then. I notice the more I gamble the harder it is to stop and the more I lose each time. We will NEVER win our money back.
We have to accept that this is a progressive illness Mick. It really took hold of every aspect of my life.Hearing you mention your 12 year old reminds me of the times I left my boys standing at a bus stop late at night when they were teenagers and not being able to leave the slot machines to go and pick them up. They were 30 miles away.
Whatever about losing money, Mick, when we start putting gambling before our kids it really is time to call a halt to the madness.
I think your time has come to say “ENOUGH”.
Best wishes in recovery.
Good to meet you in the group.
Gambling brings nothing but grief.
I’m finished with it for good and I hope you are too, Mick.
Keep posting and coming to the groups.I’m no stranger to the heart flutters that a “wayward” son can cause, kPat.
“It’s part of growing up” I was told, but I have other views. Some wouldn’t be printable!
Suffice to say a mother with a gambling problem (or even a “CG”) could be driven to the nearest casino to escape, but as FG has highlighted you reserved your energy for a better cause.
Rearing children is the most difficult task.
It’s all about individual personalities and boundaries.….miss the water ’til the well runs dry!
Great you had the money to pay for the repairs Lizbeth!
You deserve a medal for BRAVERY for all you’ve been through!
Do you think you might be entitled to a grant from the council for those repairs….or, better still, claim on your house insurance?
Just a thought, Lizbeth.
Keep those receipts.
As for your dear mom, methinks its a case of “old pipes don’t repair ; they need to be replaced” but that doesn’t happen with humans once we reach a certain age. Just meet up with her for short visits would be my suggestion. Leave your sister find out the details for herself.Makes it all worthwhile, doesn’t it Lizbeth!
Water restored yet?
You seem to be confused by your husband’s behaviour, Caroline. This was one of the ploys I used to allow myself to gamble. If I could confuse other people, it gave me power over them It’s a form of bullying. A very cowardly trait! Bullying scares people. I do not believe that your husband is unaware of the effect his behaviour has on you. I do not like the way you still defend him and try to play down his abuse. There is no other word for it except “abuse” Caroline. The longer you tolerate this nonsense the more habit forming it becomes. Someone has to break this cycle. I think you will be the person who does that. Your husband is acting and reacting in a very inappropriate way for a mature man and a father . I am not judging HIM just pointing out that this behaviour is not acceptable and will damage you and your children. Stay strong . Use all the support you can get and never give up hoping. There is a better life ahead Caroline.
My advice, Lizbeth would be to postpone making long term decisions while you are feeling upset.
I had a somewhat similar situation with my sister recently. For some reason she ignored me for weeks on end and had me “blacklisted” in the family. When she cooled off she began texting and calling, accusing me of ignoring her! She sounds just like your mom. A control freak who scapegoats people then steps back , taking the role of the innocent victim , leaving those who have been hurt , floundering. You just can’t win with people like that, Lizbeth. We are the ones who end up being upset and the issue runs off them like water off a ducks back.
Don’t dream of selling your home. It would play right into your mother’s hands.
Take a break, but not in a casino.
I know exactly how you feel.
Personally, I would be in a hotel while that major work is going on. It must be very stressful.Well done on 8 clean days, Steph.
You paint a vivid picture of the Gambling Scenario. The lights, smell,sounds,thoughts,voices,rush………………….then the DREADED hangover. We need to balance the High with the Low. Think of the stress, the regret, the grief , the next day, the following weeks. The empty bank account. The fear, the panic…….It goes on and on for as long as we keep feeding those machines . Like a dog chasing his tail, or a rabbit blinded by the headlights of a fast moving car.
The time comes Steph, when we need to step back and see that bigger picture clearly.
The thrill will always bring the hangover.
We can no longer have one without the other.
We have crossed the line. Never again will you or I be able to gamble “normally”.That line written by Charles on your thread is going through my head all day, kPat.
Did you see it?Hi Kevin,
I know your question is addressed to Twilight, primarily, but you did ask for others’ responses too.
My reaction to a suicidal threat from anybody, would be to call the GP, or the Mental Health Team, if that person has a history of suicidal attempts, as your mother has.
CGs can be very manipulative and may resort to emotional blackmail in a desperate attempt to get money to gamble.
For a close family member, it would be a terrible legacy to carry if, God forbid, your mother carried out her threat.
My suggestion to you is to inform wider family about the situation you find yourself in. It is a very heavy burden to bear and of course when we weigh up money against a loved one’s life it seems that handing over the money would be the obvious choice.
You need to seek help for YOU , Kevin. Tell your mum, when things are calm that you cannot continue to enable her gambling habit by giving her money. Ask her not to make any further requests of you . Remind her that there is help available and that you will support her when she is ready to reach out for real help.
That is what I would want my son to do.
I am a Mother who is a Compulsive Gambler.
I hope this reply helps.Hi Cat,
You posted on August 2nd, that it’s “ten weeks until you finish work”.
?????????????????????????
Ten weeks til Christmas, now.
Tempus fugit!Writing and thinking about dreams reminded me of you Liberty.
Feel like giving us an update?
In your own time, of course.How’s the training going, Charles?
Take it easy on that “old” leg!!!!Did you ever consider taking out a Baring Order,Caroline?
That behaviour is atrocious.
I’m not judging your husband but YOU do not have to tolerate that behaviour in your own home.
God help you!Brilliant post, San.
I can relate (as a CG) to using gambling instead of facing Life’s “issues”.
I can also see how I shielded my (wayward but non CG son) by “buying him over”, to make up for mistakes I made in his childhood.
And by golly , does he know how to remind me of my shortcomings!
Life is delightful , when we wake up!