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Thanks for sharing your story, Lee and for your post to my thread. Gambling provides a great escape from Life’s issues and can even make us feel good for a while, but we know by now that it only leads to more grief and will always end in tears. For that reason there should be no excuse for us to create more turmoil in our lives. You have many years ahead to pick up the pieces. Does your wife know about your G problem? Maybe she could use the F and F forum to seek some support. I hope you will continue to made positive strides in recovery, odaat.
Hope your Saturday went well, Mike and that you resisted the bets.
I’m just home from a family day out.
A far cry from a day in the casino.
Looking at people who don’t/didn’t gamble half their lives away is an eye opener.
Gambling ruins lives.Great post Micky!
Every action begins with a thought.
Stay focused.Yes, Maverick. A post on your thread is always a nice surprise!
A simple token of support. I know what you mean about having enough. It’s a bit like when we eat a whole box of chocs instead of having a few. The enjoyment goes and we say “I’ll never eat chocolate again”! After a few heavy losses a gambling “win” loses the surprise element. We know it will cause nothing but more grief.
There comes a time when we just HAVE to quit, whether we want to or not.
Do you go to GA?Welcome back, Cat. Thanks for your post to my thread. The purpose of this site is to offer support to one another. Giving a little “hurdle” help is often the best we can do. Nobody can change the other person’s past, or our own but we can be here to listen, to empathize and share our good and not so good times. And to have a laugh!I prayed for you especially in church Cat and for your husband’s health problems.
The best we can do is count our blessings. Be grateful and take it one day at a time.
I smiled when I read your plans for catching up on things we neglected in the home when we were working. Hope you’re not in for a shock Cat. None of us is 25 any more. The tasks seem heavier now and they take much longer to complete so take it handy as my kind ex boss used to say and he sure did!
See you in a Live Group soon
Past my bed time now.
Meeting an ex work colleague for lunch tomorrow.
Good to keep up contact.
God bless you and yours.
Brilliant that you are G free!Hi Mike,
Glad you decided not to visit the “mechanical pick pockets” today.
Part of the problem with gambling is that it becomes habitual. We could almost do it in our sleep. Often when I come to certain exits when driving, I feel myself automatically moving the indicator to swing for an exit that would lead to an old haunt. Or hearing certain songs (Driving home for Christmas is a biggie!) that were played in “my” casino creates the lure. Even seeing car registrations or having flashbacks to “wins” seems to enforce the habit.
Apart from setting up all the well known barriers and limits, we also have to develop alternative habits., for example walk a different route to work or to college. Deliberately leave your cash and cards at home. Fix your mind on what you intend to do for the next hour to prevent your thoughts drifting and on it goes until some day we will wake up and say, “hey, I never even thought of gambling today” or “it’s a week since I played those machines”. Bit by bit, we will find ourselves becoming less dependent on going to play. By that time , we will be in a better head space, and hopefully we will begin to see the benefits of not gambling. Our illusion needs to be shattered Mike but it takes time.
This year, which is coming to and end soon was a bad year for me. Looking back now I could have easily resisted 90% of the time. It was impulsivity and lack of discipline during 2015 that caused me to line the pockets of some low life casino owners ( Where I live the owners are “no gentlemen” to put it mildly) with a generous 5 figure sum. (sic) How I could use that money now, but as we well know Mike, people of our ilke will never walk away winning.
The only way is to go back to the drawing board. Draw a line under your losses. Strengthen your resolve and Begin again.
Cheers!Building a better life for you and your family seems like a great plan, Lee.
I wish you every success for the future, beginning every day with TODAY!Glad to hear you are getting Union support, Jenny. Makes a big difference when a union rep is present at a meeting with management. The bullies change into pussycats. I laugh when I look back on it now….
Glad your parents have a neighbour looking in. Means a lot . You will have peace of mind in that regard.
It’s very hard to say what’s happening with you ex. As a gambler, I know a bit about the “CG”mindtricks and I would say CONFUSION is the outcome in many cases. I even felt myself becoming confused at times.
I know it is easier said than done, Jenny but dwelling on what you could have done or on what he might or might not do won’t change a thing. If he has debts they are HIS problem not yours. Tough luck if he doesn’t pay up. Let him suffer the consequences. Passing his baggage on to you is part of the “game”. Don’t rise to the bait. CGs are clever. We can read minds. LOL! Stress and confusion go hand in hand. He seems to be manipulating you but I say that without judgement. Being nice to the kids and “getting wrecked” that night would make me VERY wary. It seems he is putting the best side forward but really hasn’t moved on at all. Would it be any help (just a suggestion now, in case anyone thinks I’m telling you how to conduct your recovery)if you drew up an agreement together to have no contact for, say six months? That would prevent the children being drawn into situations that might create confusion or disappointment , it would give you a bit of head space and give “himself” time to get his act together.
Try not to deal with everything together Jenny. It becomes overwhelming otherwise.“Pocket money”, Bettie?
Hope you stay out of the casino when you are on your cruise.
(Just sayin’!)
Praying for you!I prayed for you at Mass tonight Lizbeth and for your two daughters, grandson, mom and sister.
Life is not easy. That boss sounds like the boss I worked under before I retired. Screaming and yelling at staff like a nut case. I called her aside a few times and eyeballed her , saying in a whisper “I’m not deaf!”. Five staff have left since I left. One who stayed on sent me a text tonight saying “please pray for us, things are gone from bad to worse here”! The reason “bosses” behave like that is because they are stressed due to their own incompetence. What used to madden me was the staff covered up for her for “peace sake”!!! Yea right! Peace at a high price!
Glad your grandson has recovered. Children bounce back fast.Don’t know why, Bettie, but I thought of you when I read this quote tonight-
“I guess the moment when everything changed was when I realized that I deserved so much better”.Great news Micky
Thanks for posting to my Thread
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I can’t gamble because this time I have no Plan B to fall back on if (WHEN more likely!) I would lose everything. I can’t borrow again so I just have to spread out the little income I have to cover the cost of normal living. No more bundles of notes. No more stress!Life is a struggle sometimes, Ican.
Very scary for that lady to fall off her chair. I hope she wasn’t badly injured.
Facing up to losing friends/family members is not easy.
I tend to avoid thinking about those matters.
As for our desire to gamble, Ican, I do think it will always remain. Desires can be changed to options, though.
We can chose to say “Ok , the cream doughnut is not available today; I will choose to have the jam one!”
It is only when we become attached to those “desires” that they become unhealthy.
We are not slaves Ican.
We can choose to be free.FG , I’m so sorry to hear this happened AGAIN.
It really is scary.
It could be any of us.
Your husband has been tested to the limit. I’m sure it takes it’s toll on him, too.
Would he consider using F and F or Gamanon?
One of the reasons I can’t gamble any more is that I realize how hard my husband works and he has become very withdrawn. He was always detached but I can see another relapse driving him over the brink. He says nothing. He used to bellow and roar. The silence is even worse.
I just read about your early life, FG. You are blessed to have been able to move on and you have a wonderful husband and family.
Don’t gamble with those blessings FG.
We should be on our knees counting our many blessings.
Not everybody bounces back.I’m sorry to hear you are going through a rough time Jenny. Combining Motherhood with a full time career is difficult at the best of times. It seems that you cannot rely on your ex at this time. Rather than helping to relieve your stress, he is adding to it from what you describe.
Can you have a chat with your GP? Maybe get Certified Sick Leave for a few weeks to allow you to sort out your immediate problems. Maybe get counselling for your daughter too.
Also, from past experience, I would suggest that you do not attend any meeting with Management unless your Union Rep is present.
You need to have Professional Care Plans organized for your parents . They should be entitled to Home Help and visits from the Public Health/Community Nurse.
Who takes care of your children while you are working Jenny? That of course is an added stress.
Try to get some rest or you will burn yourself out!