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Just hang in Micky
Don’t gamble
I did
Its SOOOO not worth it
Nearly killed me this time
Take an old fools advice
( Pity i can’t take it myself)
The regret will kill us even if we escape from other issues
In reality there is no escape
Just gotta stand our ground Micky
Gambling solves nothing
Think of the consequences…
OUCH!Great post, Velvet.
As much as we would like Christmas to measure up to the images portrayed on ads and Christmas cards, we do need to accept that most families are “dysfunctional” to some degree . I have yet to meet a “perfect” family! Whilst we all approach family Get Togethers with good intentions, we need to remember that old rivalries often rear their ugly heads and arguments can flair up, especially when people are stressed and tired from trying to make everything seem perfect. Add alcohol and gambling to the mix and we can find ourselves creating very unpleasant Christmas memories. I ask myself, “is it worth it?”
For my part this Christmas, I hope to get as much done in advance as possible (even if I have to drop my standards somewhat). I always attend Midnight Mass and the Early Morning Mass . This means 4 hours travel late and early. I am always irritable and exhausted on the Day. This year I intend to have a smaller than usual Christmas Day dinner. Prepared in advance. We don’t need to do all the lavish cooking on Christmas Day. There are many days to follow when I will be less tired and less stressed. I can cook the huge turkey and ham on the 26th.
I plan to focus ONLY on positive aspects of personalities and let the traits that irritate me go over my head. Most people have behaviours and traits that don’t fit in with mine (I’m not easy to live with lol!) Trying to control or change others’ behaviour at Christmas is a recipe for conflict. It just WON’T work! Believe me I’ve tried!
If we focus on the True Meaning of Christmas, we can relax, take time out for prayer and meditation in keeping with our religious or secular beliefs and for the CGs here I would say NOT GAMBLING would be the best present we can give to ourselves and to our families.
I think it would be therapeutic, if people add their thoughts , happy or sad, to this thread between now and 25th .
Thanks for opening this helpful Thread , Velvet!
I hope it brings Unity and Fellowship to the Forums.
Just for today, I will not gamble!Thinking of you Lee.
Is everything ok? ‘Hope you’re not ill.
My son and his GF came last night for the weekend to put up the decorations. We just ate and relaxed last night. I wanted the visit to be special for her. She has some bad Christmas memories. I had all the boxes taken down from the attic over the last few weeks and most of the decorations sorted. Hubby made a new crib (Charles would say “why do you want two ‘cribs'”?lol!! We got two trees and four rooms decorated. Hubby and I would run rings around the young ones but I enjoyed their input .Son cooked and we opened two boxes of really nice chocs to celebrate. My youngest son is AWOL………….
Enjoy your kids when they are young, Lee. Life is short and they grow up too fast! I still expect to see mine in their Christmas P Js , freshly bathed , looking up the chimney and listening for sleigh bells. Those days are gone. Tempus neminem manet!
Give us an update.
You are on my mind a lot!Condolences on the loss of your dear friend, Laura. Stops us in our tracks, doesn’t it?
Gambling brings big losses too. It’s like a bereavement. Lost money. Lost self esteem. Lost trust. Lost confidence. Lost time. Lost hope. Lost faith. Lost friendships and on it goes until we lose our very souls.
They don’t call it a “progressive” disease for nothing.
Like cancer , it’s eats away at us.
The good news is we know the “cure”.
December has been a G free month for me Laura. I wish I could say the same about the other 2015 months! Alas, I can’t.
Roll on 2016.
It IS possible to have a clean year ODAAT
It IS possible to have a clean life.
Gambling solves nothing.I guess you miss the solitude Izzi.
I too, like order but I create(d) chaos when I gamble(d). Get yourself a good set of ear plugs when you need to escape from the noise!
Is this just a temporary living arrangement?‘Been there, Lizbeth!
My youngest son is presently AWOL
Not answering calls or texts….it freaks me out sometimes.
If I were to dwell on it I know I would become very distressed.
I just hope and pray that our “children” will find their way back to the Road to Salvation.
Their behaviour is now outside our control. All we can do is put them in God’s Hands…and pray!You’ve been on my mind the last few days kPat.
I wondered why. Now I know! Wasn’t it this day last year you started your new job?
Praying for your friend, Melissa.
‘Hope all is going well for you and yours.Think of the magical Christmas Lights and the sound of children playing violin.
Who would want to put gambling before such beauty?
You WON’T gamble Lizbeth.
It solves nothing!I HEAR you loud and clear Lizbeth.
Every time I take the escape route , everything gets worse….
Postpone the next bet…the slots will still be there tomorrow…try to think it through to the last act in the last scene where the “actress” is tearing her hair out, trying to kick her own butt and saying “WHY DID I DO IT?”…
Your mom is an old lady.
She is like a child in many ways and ours kids will always use MAMA as their punchbag.
Life ain’t easy kiddo.
Try to take deep breaths and count a few of your blessings.
Tomorrow is another day
God is good!Jenny, I wondered what became of you…
I really cannot emphasize enough, how powerfully a CG can use “skills” to gain our own way. We always pick on the person who is most likely to falter. The most vulnerable one.
Money means nothing to an active CG. It is purely ammunition to keep the wheels spinning and because gambling is a progressive disease, the cash vanishes faster every time we gamble. I have no intention of judging your husband’s actions. I can only speak from my own experience. It stands out a mile though, that he is testing you and sadly , you are falling for every ploy.
If he loses 10grand, that’s his tough luck. Not yours. If his car is out of petrol, why should you rescue him? Let him call somebody else or the AA. When it comes to his interaction with the children, it is far more serious of course. Family counselling would help , whether he agrees to go or not. Lots of free help available. Have you ever gone to Gamanon? Maybe they could advise you about help for your children. Do you think your son could be picking up on your anger and your stress? I have a lot of admiration for anyone who resists the tricks and learns to avoid the antics of a CG. I’m referring to myself here and I don’t or cannot say that every CG is the same.
All I DO know is when I want to gamble I will stop at nothing to get my way. When I am not gambling, I am a totally different person. At times , I was scared by my own actions and feared for my own safety. Gambling knows no bounds. Can you imagine driving down a sttep hill and suddenly the brakes fail on your car ? Being out of control through gambling is far more scary than that. You have no idea where it will end or how to stop it. That is why, as a “bystander”Jenny, YOU need to jump back and pull your children to safety. The “driver” has absolutely NO control when moving at such high speed. Being terrified makes it more dangerous for all concerned.
PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN.
From what you describe, your husband is up to his neck in trouble and I hate to say this, but he seems to be making no attempt at recovery. His time will come and hopefully it won’t be too late. You cannot take one step for him Jenny or solve his problems, no matter how hard you try . The more you respond to him, by allowing him to “whitewash” his actions i.e “playing daddy”, offering money, saying he is paying debts etc , the less likely he is to seek help.
CGs are the greatest bluffers when we want to be! Stay clear or he will pull you down to where he seems to be heading…the gutter! (I hope I’m wrong)
Time will tell.Well done S 25owl!
The early days seem to go in slow motion but soon you will be looking back on Gamble free weeks and months.
One day at a time is the motto.
Be good!I think it’s better to get in touch with guilt rather than deny it and pretend to be innocent , Micky.
Let’s face it most CGs ARE guilty.
I am , for one!
Don’t let it overwhelm you though.
You have made wonderful strides.
Every person who admits they have a Gambling Problem should be give a medal for bravery.
Well done on all your efforts Micky.
“Progress not Perfection” as they say!‘Hope it’s nothing serious, Lee.
Thinking of you.So happy for you Micky.
What used to be an excuse to gamble in the past can be used as a reason not to gamble today!Happy Birthday for tomorrow, Lee. It’s my son’s birthday on the 29th too. I spent the morning pushing through crowds to get him a present and am up to my elbows baking and cooking now. Just about to decorate his cake. I HOPE he turns up tomorrow, but knowing his track record, I won’t hold my breath.
Where did all those years go? It scares me. Especially when I think of the time I wasted!
Well done on making a wise decision.
Gambling spoils everything!