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Great to hear you are G free so far Izzi. ‘Can’t believe we are almost two weeks into the New Year already. Just think of the damage we could have done if we had been gambling. It freaks me out just thinking about it.
Stay clean Izzi. Gambling is a “dirty” habit! Keep posting !Nice to see you posting on other threads Lizbeth. Maybe you will make it to a Group some day.
‘Hope your daughters, mom and grandson are doing well.
We can get bogged down with families sometimes especially when they leave it to mama to do all the running.
I haven’t heard from my son since we had a bust up on December 26th. Hope you are staying in touch with your youngest daughter. All we can do is reach out. If they reject us that’s their choice.Hi again OAJ
I had written before I read this post…
now you’re catchin’ on!
Good for you!
It’s tiring jumping through hoops.
Take it from me a CG knows when we are going to gamble. It takes planning and scheming. Don’t be part of the plot.
Allow your CG to self destruct without your consent.
Tough Love!I suppose all you can do is feel the feeling, OAJ!
Then what do you do with those feelings ?
Being on standby by for another let down is stressful. It really means your whole life is on hold. That would make me feel more sad than angry, I think. Once trust is broken in a relationship, I tend to feel used, but relationships wax and wane . Every one has different expectations and different needs. Any idea why you wait around for more of the same? One of the things that made it possible for me to gamble was my SO’s disinterest, as I perceived it. He never tried to stop me. (In fact I felt it suited him better when I gambled , in some ways). I had a friend then who insisted if I was his wife he would certainly have “clipped my wings” in the early stages i.e. let the air out of my car tyres every morning before I got up and frozen my bank account. Now that would deter a CG wouldn’t it!? But, for how long? It certainly would give the SO power over the CG. But would that be just another game? A Power Game, perhaps?
Personally, I would not want anyone to smother me. Part of me hates to be controlled. Yet, I often sat on casino stools for twenty hours or more in a stuporose state watching the door, hoping my SO would come to rescue me.
Gambling is a complex problem.
CGs are enigmatic souls.
You seem to be very caught up in the complexity of this situation.
Ever think of taking a break?
Just teasing out ideas interests me. I envy your companion in some ways.Just thinking back on all the Monday nights I stayed focussed and came straight home to check into your 9pm group, Charles to report my “success”, like a child running home from school to say she got ten out of ten in a spelling exam. Sounds silly but for a CG it’s a great prop to know someone is interested. Also when Cathie ran this group, (Hi, if you’re still around, Cathie!) I would be finishing a 12 hour shift and driving home exhausted only to find the car indicator “automatically” leading me to the exit for the casino to unwind and instead I would shake myself and act accountably, knowing that there would be someone to unwind with in a more healthy way.
Maybe I was fooling myself.
Was this another illusion?
Maybe we become too dependent on groups, when in reality nobody can take a step for another person. It’s up to each individual to look out for him/herself.
All good things come to an end so thanks Charles (and Cathie). I want you to know you saved me thousands in money, not to mention the grief and stress I was spared by your presence.
See you and others soon in a non verboten group hopefully!
Best wishes to all new members!Talk is cheap for CGs RD (Also cheap for lots of “normals” too!)
Every word I say to others I say to myself also.
Action speaks louder than words. It’s easy to “talk the talk”. Not so easy to “walk the walk” but the time comes when we have run out of options. I’m sort of all burned out with gambling now but we all know that every CG has another gamble in us.
But have we another Recovery in us?
That’s the bit that scares me.
I don’t want to go like David Bowie “surprising people to the end” the media said!
I my case the surprises would be more like lightning shocks if they pick up my gambling tab after I exit this earth.
Gotta get a clean slate first!Glad you got the medical cert, Lorraine.
Stay on the Payroll. Let your employers come up with suggestions and offers. They can’t dispense with staff without referring to contracts. Terms and Conditions will be taken into account. Keep your Union updated and record everything.
Good luck!Strange, how we hanker after change , Kathryn and when it hits us unexpectedly we sometimes find it difficult to handle.
There are lots of clichés being bandied around “if nothing changes, nothing changes”, “everything changes” ,”change of Life”, “accept the things I cannot change” , “climate change”etc, etc. I notice as life moves on, many people become restless. “Change” for the sake of change seems to be the solution to our present dilemmas, the name of the game so to speak. “Move on”, “Let go, let God”, “Forget the past” are expressions we hear in counselling. religious sessions and support groups. Acceptance and gratitude are mentioned but in reality, chasing “change” has become more popular than actually stopping and looking at where we are and what we have NOW………. The reason I’m rattling on Kathryn, is I have noticed in myself that this restlessness for change set in when I was around your age (the good old menopause can be cruel to women) and that restlessness led me to gambling. Searching for something I felt I didn’t have. A discontentedness. I sense that “yearning for something else” building up in your recent posts. (Not judging now, just observing, before anyone jumps down my throat). I’ve been through these “phases” K. I learned in fact that sometimes things DON’T change. Or if they do, it’s not always the type of change we anticipated or longed for. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe it’s no co incidence that your husband’s sudden ability to text an apology coincides with losing his job? Maybe, he is growing up? Maybe you are seeing him in a different light? Maybe your post is a pointer for me , a clue as to how I should act towards people in my life? There is the type of change that happens without force or human input. Often, circumstances are outside our control. A sort of “Moving on”happens that we cannot halt. An Eternal Orchestra playing the Life Symphony, note by note without missing a beat . Without holding up the tune for whims and flaws of individual musicians. Like the ebb and flow of the waves as we watch at the sea shore or the rolling river continuing to flow when smaller streams join it. That’s what Real Life is like, Kathryn. Despite our input it can’t be forced. It just happens. Maybe, to ensure stability in our lives, we can pray for the Wisdom to focus on the things that don’t change.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference” has profound meaning.
One thing I have noticed is when I change, everyone changes!
Hope himself lands a new job soon.Welcome back P
You were missed on GT!
When you get tired climbing back , there will always be someone here to pull you up.
Happy G Free New Year !