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well done Izzi. Two months is a great achievement.
Must be difficult living with your brother’s family and also working for him.
Can you not get a few people you can share with and move out. Even a room in “digs” would be better than what you describe.
I loved your post on Adam’s thread.
Great !
Take care Izzi.
Stay G free odaat.
Gambling ruins lives!
God bless!Thanks Kin. I’m picking up fragments of what my life could have been “Crumbs from the Rich Man’s table”!
We can’t change the past. What’s gone is gone!I can understand how chairing a Meeting could make you feel anxious, Kin. It is a big task. Not everyone can handle that task. In GA some members say their strength comes from “The Group”. I do not fully agree with that idea but I can see how it would help people who do not have faith in God.
I’m not a technical person but by some “magic power” I managed to post your comments on my thread to my email. Actually the whole contents of my thread were delivered there. I will be able to print that out when I get ink for the printer on payday.
I’m handling limited funds. The night out I had last week with my husband and son cost one tenth of what it would have cost me for a few hours in the casino but it means I have to tighten my belt this week. I like living a frugal life. I got tired of splashing money around like a Big Shot. I will focus on repaying debt and building up my Retirement Fund that I foolishly threw away online last March. When that’s restored, I will continue to save.
If relationships and health could be restored as easily as money I would be truly rich!Thanks for posting to my tread, Kin.
I’m not sure if they have sponsors in the GA Groups I attended. Most of the men seem to be focussed on their own lives.
Maybe I will find one.
Until then I will just keep going to the meetings.‘Hope you resisted the invitation from your mom and sister to go to the casino, Lizbeth.
Better still, I hope they didn’t go either!
Glad to see you’re meeting helpful friends.
As the saying goes “it’s good to have a handyman and a man handy”!Good to hear you are all “pulling together as a family” in this difficult situation, Lorraine.
Your step dad is in my prayers.
Gambling won’t solve anything. You know that!No words will ease your pain, Lee.
I DO know the turmoil you are experiencing. When the wound heals and you feel less raw, try to ask the ten dollar question “What can I do differently to prevent this happening again?”
Feelings can be powerful, Lee but they fade and other feelings develop.
What I do at times like this is isolate myself and pray to God that he doesn’t take me in my “sins”!
You will get another chance Lee.
This time grab it and hold on to it!Lots of questions, Jenny.
Some will be answered in time. Some, NEVER!
I could answer “What motivates a CG to stop gambling?”but for now , I will reserve my comments.
I may, however be able to throw a bit of light on the £100 versus £1000 issue.
For me, carrying a hundred would not really be a temptation to gamble because it is far too small an amount in gambling terms. Having a thousand, however would make it worth my while entering a casino because it would allow me to indulge my weakness for a couple of hours (Having said that it could vanish in 20 minutes). Once again, I will reiterate that I am only talking about ME. CGs , in recovery avoid mentioning monetary sums but since you mentioned those amounts I’m answering your query. Maybe that’s what your CG was trying to explain.
And no Velvet, I am in no way “judging” Jenny’s decision to retain her CG’s number. I think the word “judging” is often misused.
Every word I say, is meant to help others, not undermine or shoot them down. Writing about these experiences can bring back a lot of pain so please don’t be too hard on CGs who are doing our best to stay on track one day at a time.
Stay strong Jenny.
Your children need a stable parent and a peaceful environment to see them through their lives.Congratulations on your G free week LLT! I seems you have done a lot of “spade work” in advance . I takes most CGs years to get to the place you are today.
TODAY is all that matters, really. We are all only a heartbeat away from the next bet.
Take it easy and enjoy each day as it comes
Where is that “nice little sum” you have saved?
Just sayin’!Very helpful Kin
(Also thanks for message on my Thread)
You are a Shining Light in the World’s Darkness.
A Godsend!Hi Silhouette and welcome to GT.
I find your user name interesting. It is as if you feel you are living in your girlfriend’s shadow.
I am a compulsive gambler.
I agree with Nomore. All the deceit, manipulation, blame, projection, lies , justification certainly do cause immense harm to the S O in a gambler’s life. I’ve been there and yes, I used all those tools to get my own way .When we can’t control the gambling, we seek to control the people we love because deep down we know they are the people who want us to stop doing “our thing”! Emotional blackmail and manipulation were my main methods of obtaining funds for my next gamble. CGs can play our loved ones like a fiddle (especially the people who we know are the most vulnerable!)and yes, Sad, I did all the “guilt” trips too. The over compensating, the kindness, the attention, the covering up, the lavish presents bought with borrowed money. The false praise, the “positive” actions. All done for misguided reasons and sometimes with evil intentions. So long as I could keep everyone off my back and secure a new line of gambling ammunition (money) and see the flow going my way, I could be sweet as pie, but woe betide the person who tried to thwart my plans or sabotage my next bet! Then they would see the flip side of the coin. Nomore has seen the two sides of her darling man. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde ! Most Cgs I know have seen it too In themselves, but how many of us want to admit it!
My suggestion, Silhouette, is that you protect yourself. Walk into to limelight for one brief moment and tell your girlfriend that you have had enough of her bullshit. Tell her you have decided that you will not continue to enable her to destroy herself or destroy you. You need only say it ONCE then vote with your feet. Avoid arguments. Words mean absolutely NOTHING to an active CG. Make an appointment with a counsellor to talk out your fears and concerns and let your GF sink or swim. What you are allowing her to do to you, is also enabling her to destroy herself. You need to stand back and look at the wider picture.
Gambling ruins lives. Will you allow it to ruin you? The choice is yours! Time for Tough Love. Take care!Ever consider Residential Treatment JrB? I know you tried other avenues that had loop holes, but if you go to your GP and lay your cards on the table, he might refer you directly. It seems that you need rather urgent help if I’m reading correctly.
I have found, DJ, that when I reach “targets” eg “100 Days” “Three months”, whatever , I tend to become complacent. At these times we also will have put a few bob together, (Its not uncommon for a CG to have built up a secret stash “for the rainy day”) HA! Knowing you are at risk of losing your job or feeling insecure in any financial area can also cause panic to set in and we feel “I have to WIN this money to compensate the shortfall”. Sadly, it doesn’t work like that DJ. If it did the bookies/casinos and Recovery Sites would be closed down because CGs would be rich. But we are NOT rich. We are poor and our poverty will escalate to the point of despair if we don’t stop NOW.
For a start there are two things we need to drill into our brain, DJ.
1. A CG will never never win.
2. Carrying money is like carrying a loaded shot gun for a CG.
Now is the time to sit down with your family and ask for their help. You have been given suggestions above but CGs are bad at listening. We only hear what we want to hear!
The good news is you CAN stop again DJ. Don’t torture yourself but while you are still hurting, put things in place to prevent you going back to the scene of the crime as we do.
I hear you on the money loss. What might be a small amount to some, could be a life changing amount to others. Keep posting. God bless.A landmark!
Hope the counselling helps!
ODAAT will lead to G-free months , years and a New Life if you use the “bag of tools” you have been given….and while gambling we wasted so much time. I think if some one offered me the choice of the time or the money back, I would, without hesitation, choose the time. Sadly, we won’t ever have that choice.
Great post Maverick. You paint a picture of contentment.
A sort of serenity that gambling will never give .
Maybe your wife would benefit from Gamanon or Fand F? I’m sure she has been through a lot.