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Hi Gem!
I hope you don’t have any objection to someone from “The Other Side” dropping in to visit your thread.
As A CG, I find it interesting to read what goes on in the minds of spouses, family and friends of other gamblers.
I guess the reason, I am interested is that I never found out what effect my gambling had on my husband , simply because he just remained shtum and never expressed his thoughts or feelings. It has baffled me from day one. Many times (mainly when I needed a bale out) I would pour out all my transgressions to him and his only reaction was to hand over more money, in silence.
Why would a non CG do that?
I don’t expect answers, really. Just thinking out loud . When I read threads with posts sharing measures “F and Fs” go to in an effort to support their loved ones, I can’t help asking “Would I have stopped gambling earlier if I had been given that support?”
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I know it must drive you nuts watching him tapping on his phone all the time Gem. I annoys me to see ANYONE do what, when I am in their company.
One of the “tips” (excuse the pun) for online gamblers, is to change to a phone that can be used only for texts and calls.
Keep the lines of communication open Gem.
Secrecy , silence and isolation were a few of the things that kept me gambling.
I started attending GA a few weeks ago . Conscious, of course that “what is said in the Room, stays in the Room”, part of me was bursting to tell him some of my experience. He never asked!
Attending GA made me feel surreal. It will take time to adjust. I smiled when I read about your dream. Just for the record, GA is very much a “man thing” from my limited observation. 12 to 15 men and ME at every meeting I attended so far and I’m old enough to be their mother . “Toy boys” only go for wealthy old dolls so that rules me out!
In a few years time you will look back on this period of your life and it will be a distant memory , but “himself” will always be a CG and so will I!
Thanks for allowing me to share.You have been on my mind a lot, Maverick.
I’m so happy to hear you are doing well!
Stay focused.Well done Harry.
We don’t need to give up gambling forever.
Just for today!Congrats on your G free month, Reddy!
Beware of “quick fixes” and “risky alternatives”.
Impatience is a typical “CG” trait.
Just keep postponing the next bet.
Clinical trials could become “another gamble”. The outcome is uncertain. Easy money!
CGs never win!Will gambling improve your circumstances?
I say not, regardless of what country you are in!YOU are not a nightmare, Jrb .
Gambling is!
Is there ANYTHING you could have done to prevent yourself” losing the plot”?
I have done it myself so often, all I can say is
Stop accepting those Godforsaken overdrafts . Towards the end of my gambling career ( I hope it IS ended), I was taking high interest loans to meet overdraft and “normal” loan payments.
How’s that for” plot losing”?
The Nightmare will end when we wake up.
Well done on posting. I was clinging on to this site for dear life for a long time even though they were sick listening to me whinging .
Never give up Jrb.
When you least expect it you will see a way out.
Until then cut off all access to funds.
No money=no gamble!Sorry for highjacking your thread Cozzy.
I know GA is “anonymous” Thomas, but do you go to meetings in Dublin? If so, we will run into each other. I’m doing the rounds in a final effort to beat this madness!I’m a recycled , recovering CG Thomas.
Hanging in, one day at a time.
2016 has been G free so far, thank God!
Are you Irish?Happy to see you are continuing your support here and in GA, Cozzy.
Yes, it is a hard blow to take when we are faced with the carnage we created. The good news is you are still young and have a life time ahead of you to make up a hundred fold for the pain you have caused. Maybe see you in a group later.
Great support coming in from Tommy. Well done Tommy.Hi Red23 and welcome to GT.
“Now what?” is a good question.
We have two choices when we come to a crossroad. Keep going forward or turn back.
In the Gambling World, if we keep going forward, we are destined to lose everything.
If we turn back, it means leaving everything we lost behind us and walking away. It’s a very tough walk. We are bound to keep thinking of and regretting our loss . The lure to win it back is what keeps the casino owners living multi-millionaire life styles and sadly it is what brings the compulsive gambler to his/her knees.
You did well reaching out for help Red. I too, am a middle aged woman who poured all my hard earned money into slot machines , plus all I could borrow on the strength of my salary and today all I am left with is massive debt.
My advice to you Red23 is WALK AWAY . NOW.
You will NEVER get even a fraction of your money back. All those big “wins” are just “high interest loans” to keep you sucked in. The planners of the Gambling Industry employ top psychologists to study and suss out the addictive brain and every day , they come up with new methods to draw us back. Gambling is a progressive disease. We will never overcome it by tying to “win our wait out”. Believe me, I tried and failed
When you get over the shock of losing your money, other losses will flash across your mind . Losses like friendships, family relationships, pride, trust, self esteem etc etc. These are the REAL losses!
Gambling has the power to take everything from a CG.
Personally, I have given it enough.
For today, I will walk away.
I hope you do, too!
Thank you for sharing your story.
Keep posting.Great that you got a G free year behind you, Fritz. That 12 months flew by!
I got a Free Year once. 2010. By January 2011, I was “celebrating” my success.
The mistake I made was, thinking I could put on my bullet proof vest and gamble “normally”!
We can never do that again, Fritz.
Never!
But there are lots and lots of things we CAN do .
It seems you have found those things already, so very well done!
Hang in here! It’s not the worst place to be!Is today a better day. Lee ?
‘Hope so!Four days now, if my count is correct, Jrb!?
I thought of you tonight Cathy, when I met 4 new young men in GA. First timers. They heard wise words from the older men. I hope it turns them off gambling forever and a day. I admire them for giving GA a shot (even if they were pushed in my their wives and girlfriends!) lol . You have to start somewhere.
“What is said in the Room stays in the room ” so I have to be careful not to breach anonymity but I did observe that most of these guys were baled by my their mothers. A mother thinks we are showing love to our sons and all the time we help them to drink more and more from the poison chalice and it’s not only mums of CGs who do this. 90%of the mams I know give our sons far too much too easily, then wonder what went wrong.
Not saying you ever did, Cathy but I sure did.
Awareness is the key.Where did you get to Kathryn?
‘Hope things have improved for hubby at work?
Give us an update when you can.
My daughter has moved out of Sydney. Says it’s too expensive there now. Lots of her friends are moving. She is gone to live in Ho Chi Ming City.
Is Brea living near you?
Your babies are growing up Kathryn!
EEEKS!!