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Thanks for posting to my thread, Mav! I’m delighted to see you are getting through every day without gambling, despite your difficulties. The number of days changes every 24 hours, so all we have to do is get through today! Seems like a very obvious statement, but that’s how it works. Keep it simple. Try not to allow yourself to become overwhelmed with “Life’s Issues” . You can’t solve every problem that presents itself. Some times its best to let things go over your head or walk away. I know when it comes to rearing children we need to be supportive and protective. I fought many a battle for my kids during their formative years and when I look back now, I think in some ways I took their independence and prevented them from growing up. I also got caught up in “issues” ( my own and others , that, in hindsight, I may have been better off to walk away from . In later life, I gambled to escape from some of those memories and indeed often used situations to deflect from my gambling. Don’t know if I’m making sense, but these thoughts come to me often, when I read your thread!
Gambling complicated our lives , Mav. We both know that!Do you really feel you “have some control, even if you do play”?
I would question that theory.
Step 1 in the 12 Step Programme says “I am powerless over gambling”. For me, that means I have NO control when I decide to gamble.
Well done on six G free days (day 7 now, is it?)Glad to hear you got home safely on Thursday, FG. Could you pan to do something else after working instead of being “frog marched” home or do you finish late?
Not gambling is a reward in itself, but it can be frustrating for a CG to feel we are being monitored. I know if I were in your situation I would be making a plan to find an alternative to the Thursday “treat”!
Just sayin’!!Are you sure it’s your dog, Bettie? Did he have an ID collar or “chip” or whatever dogs wear in the US?
I hope you’re ok?
Did Jen calm down?
Will say a prayer for both of you.
It’s very upsetting to lose a pet.Your sound different Jrb. Not talking about “overdrafts/being sucked in/misery/alcohol” , you know , the usual ‘gamblese’ language we use when we’re gambling !
Thailand?
Gotta job there?
The addiction follows us everywhere . You know that already, I’m sure…I would suggest, Chloe, that when your boyfriend goes to GA, that you go to Gamanon, the “sister” Group to gain extra support for YOU.
They will give you Twenty Questions to answer, and your guy will get 20 Qs from GA.
A starting point to regain your trust, could be to go through those questions together and tick them off honestly.
One question addresses “obtaining money illegally”. Stealing from your credit card is an illegal act, Chloe so don’t allow him to whitewash that, regardless of your love for him. If anyone else stole from your CC, I guess you would report it to the bank/police!
As for your marriage plans….can you marry somebody you don’t trust?
Why not go for joint counselling now to get back on tract before you make a final commitment.
Gamblers can be very loving, charming, convincing, persuasive, and apologetic.
Gamblers can also be devious, manipulative, distrustful, deceitful and ruthless.
I know this, because I am a compulsive gambler.Glad to see you’re making progress, Steven.
Just be careful of “targets” and “bonuses”. They can be death traps for a CG. I had a few mishaps on such occasions. Even though I was planning to do the exact opposite, Mr Addiction had other plans which left me annihilated.
I’m presently restoring a “Fund” which vanished into cyber space last March. What I threw away in a week , will take 30 months to restore. It’s in an account I can’t touch.
Paying back a ten year debt , also that wouldn’t have existed if I had used the bag of tools, I was given when I joined this site in 2008…….Don’t mean to dash your hopes, Steven, but keep it simple.
I enjoy reading your input on other threads!
Just for today, I will not gamble!I know exactly how you feel about the monetary loss, Ray . They say money is not the issue but it sure was/is for me. I found it very difficult to stop chasing and let go. It will come eventually. I think we need to mourn every loss we experience in life. There is a grieving process to go through. The loss of money symbolizes all the other losses a gambler experiences. This is the tangible one, so it hurts a lot. Give yourself time, Ray. Time without gambling. Time to put things in order. Gambling will increase the chaos. The more we try to undo the damage, the greater the torture. It’s a form of self destruction. Be kind to yourself. Deep breaths! The hurt will pass. Everything passes and life goes on.
Best wishes in recovery. Gambling ruins lives.Hold on to what you have, Maverick and forget about escaping or chasing dreams….there is no escape. That bet might bring a bit of relief, even a “win” but where will that lead you? To the same miserable HELL that every other gambling session brought you and me to. Life can be difficult, but I guarantee you it will be a thousand times worse if you give in and start gambling. Fourteen days is marvellous, but it’s only today that counts.
Hold tight!I wanted to answer your post sooner, Liberty, but sometimes that “voice” tells me “nobody wants to hear what you have to say; it’s a load of dollop”….If were to listen to that voice, I think I would be silent forever, interrupted only by the “Diiiing” of slot machines.
We need to change the record, Liberty. Play happy, not sad tunes. If the internal voices continue, we can drown them out with louder more positive shoutouts.
“I haven’t given one cent to gambling this year” is my new shoutout
Think of a few and let them rip when those “voices” taunt you.
So pleased to hear about your new job.
‘Hope to meet you in a group soon.
Every time I open a bag of those chewy, sucky sweets I think of you. lol!
Keep postingSorry to hear you’re going through a bit of a struggle, Ican.
Would it help to post about it?
Sometimes it’s good to share what we are struggling with.
Up to you!Kin, I hope you are not being too hard on yourself?
It is good to be aware of our faults and failings, but I don’t think God wants us to torture ourselves for our past mistakes.
When He forgives , He forgets.
We tend to see God in Human terms.
He sees your efforts and your positive traits.
“All things work together for good for those who love God!” Rom. 8:28
Forgive yourself and focus on today.You sound different Jrb?!
Quit your job for any particular reason?
Nowhere to live?
Hospital?
You ok?
Keep posting
No gambling is a bonus!‘Sounds like a nasty injury to your back, Adam. Hope you’re taking it easy. You only have one back!
Like you , I had a big “clear out” last year. I think the shock gives us the incentive to restore our loss. What we lose in dribs and drabs doesn’t seem to hit us as hard as a “sudden shock”.
Like you, I’m hell bent on restoring that Fund.
It means no gambling , which is great.
Keep up the good work. You are an inspiration!Great to see a post from you on my thread, Bettie. Marvellous to hear you’re G free for 10 weeks and that FWB has moved out of your life. Of course you will miss him but like gambling, we have to ask ourselves “is it worth all the baggage it brings?” I think we both know the answer, B!
I was thinking about you today. Hoping, praying and wondering if you are still G free, so hearing from you means a lot.
Jen seems to be in a not so good place. I know how easy it is to say “let her get on with her own life ” BUT as mothers , we always worry ourselves sick over our “kids”. My son turned up a few weeks ago after a 3 month absence, left his little do here “for a few days”. Poor little dog went missing and there was uproar. Yet he has only phoned once since to see if she’s ok. Very irresponsible! What he doesn’t know is that the dog was hit by a car two weeks ago. Hubby carried her in whimpering and semi conscious. Took him a while to revive her but she is perfect now. All I can say is “thank God it’s a dog, not a baby”! A few of my friends have grandchildren by their “failure to thrive” kids and it’s a nightmare to listen to some of the stories.
I feel sorry for those “businessmen” who make their livelihood at the expense of compulsive gamblers. Personally, I would prefer to live on grass but I suppose a dog won’t refuse a bone.
Nobody forces us to gamble, Bettie.
I find it’s all or nothing , for me. I gamble EVERYTHING or I gamble NOTHING!
Let’s stick to the latter!
Keep posting.
‘Missed you!
‘Hope Jen’s dog turns up. Try the Dog’s refuge centres.