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Just to let you know I’m thinking of you, Maverick. I had a dose of flue/throat/earache all week. My daughter is enjoying her holiday, despite my whinging. She brought the sun with her.
Gambling is not a option for me these days. I know , of course that like every CG , I have another gamble in me but I don’t think I have another recovery . I just don’t dwell on either. It seems the days are just passing me by . Life can be like that. We need to savour ever moment.
I hope to God things improve in your life Maverick.
Gambling spoils EVERYTHING. Alcohol is a close runner up. Be good!“He who loves the danger, perishes therin!”
Even small bets are lethal for a CG
Like fanning a dying flame in a smouldering forest fire.One of the many irrational thoughts I had while gambling, is that I would become totally invisible. I think the “rationale” behind that thought was denial of the problem.
I also used to watch the door opening in a little all night casino (clients had to ring a bell to be admitted) and hope that my husband would walk in and drive me home.
(Home was miles away and the reality was he would be in bed, snoring, oblivious of my absence!)Sorry to hear about your loss. Everyone here will relate to you posts on many levels. The shock you are experiencing right now will fade in time. The loss will become a memory but the “Compulsive Gambler” in you will never go away.
I struggled with your last question for a long, long time.
“IF I had walked away with my last ‘win’ would everything be different?”
The answer lies in the realisation that a CG N E V E R wins. Every ‘win’is a new ‘high interest loan’ to allow us to prolong the agony as we watch this progressive disease pull us down . It may take months. It may take years . The outcome for a CG is inevitable. After years of battling/hoping/praying/defying all the odds, gambling got me in the end.
The first step in Recovery is to “admit I am powerless over gambling”. As soon as we accept this fact , we will surrender.
It’s all about surrender.
I can give you a 100%guarantee that if you chase your loss, the money you have invested will vanish.
My advice to you (and to me)is to have NO access to cash.
Like you, I was wiped out. I checked and rechecked my bank account in disbelief last March after a huge loss and to this day I can’t figure how that hard earned money disappeared into cyber space so fast. It nearly killed me! After 15 years of losing all my salary and all I could borrow on the strength of my earnings, this was my greatest loss.
It is not stupidity. It is the reality of gambling. Due to the nature of the disorder we will keep gambling until we lose everything.
Money is the very least of what gambling takes. I would say to you now , draw a line under your losses today and walk away. There is no point in continuing this futile chase. It will end in bitter tears.
“Compulsive gamblers never win”.
Let that be your mantra.I was searching for your thread Jen
Thanks for posting to mine
Just touching baseMore later…
You need help Mav Can you go to your parents house overnight?
The mind can play tricks especially if you’ve been drinking
Just want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayersand so the disease will progress, Ray, until it sucks every penny out of you along with your heart and soul Its a progressive disease I am living proof of that!
Draw a line under this awful experience.
Don’t chase it or you will be adding a couple of zeros to that 3500
You need to make serious arrangements to have someone handle your money
Stay close to this site for now
Things WILL improve odaatAwful feeling, Rayman!
I’ve been there too often.
When the initial shock wears off you will feel less numb.
Then you can set out a New Plan.
Back to the drawing board.
The alternative is to continue gambling and we all know where that leads.
Keep taking baby steps until you become more steady.That is brilliant news ALew
Great to hear positive news
It takes a lot of effort to stay G free but its worth it all.
Just be careful with those savings
They can vanish in a flash
Can you make sure you can’t gain access if the “madness” kicks in?
One day at a time !Thanks for your on going support, Cathy
Hope your son is doing well too?
And yourself!
3 hrs past my bed time
Mind in overdrive….no gambling Thank GodThanks for your post Micky.
You were on my mind all week but I couldn’t manage to drag myself away from my new project (selling online and attic clearance) for long enough to post.
Imagine that!
I become very obsessive/compulsive/impulsive about certain things that I undertake.
Gambling was surely the most destructive one but I think CGs who are considering other projects should realize that , although the task might be healthy and necessary. there will always be the possibility of becoming over involved or hooked.
Sorry to hear you gambled Micky. Could be any of us. For me. I believe not having money, and trying to conform my stubborn will to God’s Will, helps, bearing in mind of course that God helps those who help themselves.
Good luck with the attic clearance. I went headlong into it a few months ago , then had to slow down . It became overwhelming . I tend to become consumed in new tasks.
I made a few bob selling online. (A VERY addictive project) A reward for my hard work. Its not a secret stash so I won’t use it to gamble with.
Stay in touch.A rash is like gambling , Kin.
Even if it only seems to affect the person with the rash , it can also have a knock on effect because it causes worry to the family. Same as your “more serious” condition. Did you attend a doctor to have that checked out yet?
CGs think we deserve these “punishments” but we also have a duty to look after ourselves.
I need also to remind myself of this often.Because compulsive gamblers never win, it always ends in tears.
I hear you on the Provident Loans.
Got caught up there myself for a few years.
Head wrecking!
Try M. A .B .S.Hope you’re feeling better Spidy ( Friend of mine ended up in hospital last week after a cruise!)
Ask your GF to join the F and F Forum on this site . She would know then, not to encourage or invite you to gamble. Maybe she was just testing you? Not a good idea!!“I couldn’t put thousands on a bet now”
No, Steven but your “addiction” could!
KenL would use one word to complete your sentence…”YET”