[velvet]

Dear Ell
In my opinion having read your post I don’t think you need to worry about forgiveness – you are together with love, your daughter is doing well and your husband is gamble-free.
Have you ever had a pain that bothered you for ages and then one day you realised the pain was no longer there but you couldn’t actually say when it left you – I believe forgiveness is like that, it slowly grows within you until one day the realisation comes that things have truly changed. You are strong and independent Ell and I think you are struggling to accept that the man you chose to love and to be the father of your child, could not have known on some level that he was hurting you and your daughter and that he knew that what he was doing was wrong. I accept that I will never make sense of what happened to me but I firmly believe that nobody would ever choose addiction over freedom – it is for this reason, above all others, that convinces me that a CG who changes his/her life deserves forgiveness for actions carried out when in ignorance of the capability of the addiction that engulfed them – through no fault of their own – but I also believe that forgiveness after an experience such as yours must take time.
I can’t say to you ‘ you must forgive him Ell’ because if you are not ready to do so then such words are futile but I believe that if you continue as you are doing then forgiveness will come. When I told my CG that I had forgiven him he said that he had not asked me for it and I replied that it was my choice to give it. When it comes Ell I know you will tell your husband but until then don’t let its absence spoil the wonderful life you are having together.
I know you will understand when I say I have missed you and yet I am glad you are not here. I hear in the news all the problems your lovely country and people have had to endure and I pray for a better future for Greece and for the refugees. Every mention of Greece however always brings me a fond reminder of a very special Greek girl called Ell whom I am so pleased to have heard from again. It is such a joy to hear that your husband has truly embraced recovery and loves his Ell because I know how much she deserves it.
I know one day I will hear from you again but until then I send my best wishes to you, your husband, your daughter, your mother and your brother.
Όπως πάντα – με αγάπη
Velvet

[velvet]

Hi Kitch
Your post doesn’t mention gambling and I am therefore not sure what support you are seeking – this is a forum is for friends and family who are seeking to support a loved one with a gambling addiction.
There could be many reasons why your friend spends a lot of time in bed when going through low points and there could be many reasons why he could be aggressive. If you have reason to believe that these behaviours are as the result of gambling then please post again and let me know what leads you to this belief.
Velvet

[velvet]

Hello Kitch

Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.

Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page. Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂

If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.

You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your
situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂

We look forward to hearing all about you!

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our

privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

Dear Mermaid
Welcome back to someone who has been in my thoughts, especially with Cuba hitting the news so much recently.
I am so very pleased you knew you could come back here and know that you would be understood.
I am really pleased to read that you are happy to be back as I know this was not the outcome you wanted but without a crystal ball you could not have known for sure. You gave your husband the greatest opportunity to turn his life around but he didn’t want to listen – that is no reflection on you, you were just amazing going back to Cuba and trying again.
I am not going to write anymore in this post as I think you are still coming to terms with so much water under so many bridges. I just wanted to say hi and let you know I am still here and I understand why you went back to Cuba and why you are here now.
The aftermath is difficult but with your resilience I know you will overcome.
Keep reading, keep expressing your feelings and live ‘just for you’ while you get back on your tail. (I’m not sure Mermaids have feet perhaps you could let me know.)
Velvet

[velvet]

Jeg håber, at dette hjælper Kary – post snart igen

[velvet]

Nispera li dan jgħin lil Kary – terġa 'tpoġġi dalwaqt

[velvet]

Jag hoppas att detta hjälper Kary – posta snart igen

[velvet]

मुझे आशा है कि यह कैरी की मदद करता है – जल्द ही फिर से पोस्ट करें

[velvet]

Ελπίζω ότι αυτό βοηθάει την Kary – δημοσιεύστε ξανά σύντομα

[velvet]

Espero que isso ajude Kary – poste novamente em breve

[velvet]

J'espère que cela aidera Kary – poster à nouveau bientôt

[velvet]

I hope this helps Kary – post again soon

[velvet]

Tikiuosi, tai padės Kariui – netrukus vėl paskelbkite

[velvet]

Espero que esto ayude a Kary – publique nuevamente pronto

[velvet]

Tôi hy vọng điều này sẽ giúp Kary – đăng lại sớm

[Author]

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