[velvet]

Ciao Sweepy Anche se la perdita di denaro è un problema enorme per coloro che amano i CG (giocatori compulsivi), la menzogna e il cattivo comportamento generale fanno più male. Il comportamento di tuo marito è cambiato da quando ha iniziato a ricevere aiuto, è meno lunatico, più aperto, più gentile, più stabile? Queste sono le cose che aiutano coloro che li circondano a riconoscere il vero cambiamento rispetto al servizio a parole. Tuo marito è consapevole che manchi di confidenza con il suo desiderio di vivere senza giocare? Se lo è, allora forse potresti suggerire che parli con coloro che lo stanno supportando della tua comprensibile preoccupazione, probabilmente possono aiutarlo ad aiutarti a capire dove si trova nel suo recupero. Spero che scriverai di più su di te, ti stai prendendo cura di te stesso o semplicemente lo guardi mentre cerca di cambiare? Quando passi 24 ore al giorno a preoccuparti se una persona cara sta davvero cercando il recupero, allora non stai progredendo. La dipendenza dal gioco distrugge la fiducia in se stessi e l'autostima sia del CG che di coloro che li amano. Prendersi cura di te potrebbe sembrare un cattivo suggerimento, ma so che funziona non solo per te, ma alla fine è anche la cosa migliore per tuo marito. So che la dipendenza dal gioco d'azzardo può essere controllata – l'ho visto e sentito molte volte, ma so anche che è difficile sia per il CG che per coloro che li circondano sapere quando inizia un vero recupero, ma iniziano lo fanno. Continua a postare e magari unisciti al gruppo F&F giovedì tra le 20:00 e le 21:00 ora del Regno Unito: a volte è più facile comunicare in tempo reale. Ben fatto a scrivere il tuo primo post, il primo post è il più difficile. Velluto

[velvet]

Hi Sweepy Embora a perda de dinheiro seja um grande problema para aqueles que amam CGs (jogadores compulsivos), a mentira e o mau comportamento geral dói mais. O comportamento do seu marido mudou desde que começou a receber ajuda, ele está menos temperamental, mais aberto, mais gentil, mais calmo? Estas são as coisas que ajudam as pessoas ao seu redor a reconhecer a mudança real, em oposição a falar da boca para fora. Seu marido está ciente de que você está perdendo a confiança em seu desejo de viver sem apostas? Se ele estiver, então talvez você possa sugerir que ele fale com aqueles que o estão apoiando sobre sua compreensível preocupação. Eles provavelmente podem ajudá-lo a entender onde ele está em sua recuperação. Eu espero que você escreva mais sobre você, você está cuidando de si mesma ou apenas assistindo ele tentando mudar? Quando você passa 24 horas por dia se preocupando se um ente querido está realmente em busca de recuperação, você não está progredindo. O vício do jogo destrói a autoconfiança e a auto-estima tanto do CG quanto de quem os ama. Cuidar de si mesma pode parecer uma sugestão ruim, mas sei que não funciona apenas para você, mas também é a melhor coisa para seu marido. Eu sei que o vício de jogar pode ser controlado – eu vi e ouvi isso muitas vezes, mas também sei que é difícil para o CG e para aqueles ao seu redor saber quando uma verdadeira recuperação começa, mas eles começam. Continue postando e talvez junte-se ao grupo F&F na quinta-feira entre as 20h00 e as 21h00, horário do Reino Unido – às vezes é mais fácil se comunicar em tempo real. Parabéns ao escrever sua primeira postagem, a primeira postagem é a mais difícil. Veludo

[velvet]

Salut Sweepy Bien que la perte d'argent soit un problème majeur pour ceux qui aiment les CG (joueurs compulsifs), le comportement menteur et général fait plus mal. Le comportement de votre mari a-t-il changé depuis qu'il a commencé à recevoir de l'aide, est-il moins maussade, plus ouvert, plus gentil, plus posé ? Ce sont les choses qui aident ceux qui les entourent à reconnaître le vrai changement par opposition aux paroles en l'air. Votre mari est-il conscient que vous manquez de confiance en vous avec son désir de vivre sans jeu ? Si c'est le cas, alors vous pourriez peut-être suggérer qu'il parle à ceux qui le soutiennent de votre inquiétude compréhensible, ils peuvent probablement l'aider à vous aider à comprendre où il en est dans son rétablissement. J'espère que vous écrirez plus sur vous-même, prenez-vous soin de vous ou le regardez-vous simplement essayer de changer ? Lorsque vous passez 24 heures sur 24 à vous demander si un être cher cherche vraiment à se rétablir, vous ne progressez pas vous-même. La dépendance au jeu détruit la confiance en soi et l'estime de soi des CG et de ceux qui les aiment. Prendre soin de vous peut sembler une mauvaise suggestion, mais je sais que cela fonctionne non seulement pour vous, mais en fin de compte, c'est aussi la meilleure chose pour votre mari. Je sais que la dépendance au jeu peut être contrôlée – je l'ai vue et entendue plusieurs fois, mais je sais aussi qu'il est difficile à la fois pour le CG et pour son entourage de savoir quand une véritable récupération commence, mais c'est ce qu'ils font. Continuez à publier et rejoignez peut-être le groupe F&F jeudi entre 20h00 et 21h00, heure du Royaume-Uni – il est parfois plus facile de communiquer en temps réel. Bravo pour la rédaction de votre premier post, le premier post est le plus difficile. Velours

[velvet]

ہیلو سویپی اگرچہ پیسے کا نقصان ان لوگوں کے لیے ایک بڑا مسئلہ ہے جو CGs (لازمی جواری) سے محبت کرتے ہیں ، لیکن جھوٹ بولنے اور عام خراب رویے سے زیادہ تکلیف ہوتی ہے۔ کیا آپ کے شوہر نے جب سے مدد لینا شروع کی ہے ، کیا اس کا رویہ تبدیل ہوا ہے ، کیا وہ کم مزاج ، زیادہ کھلا ، مہربان ، زیادہ آباد ہے؟ یہ وہ چیزیں ہیں جو اپنے آس پاس کے لوگوں کو ہونٹ سروس کے برعکس حقیقی تبدیلی کو پہچاننے میں مدد دیتی ہیں۔ کیا آپ کے شوہر کو معلوم ہے کہ آپ جوئے سے آزاد رہنے کی خواہش کے ساتھ اعتماد میں کمی کا شکار ہیں؟ اگر وہ ہے ، تو شاید آپ تجویز کریں کہ وہ ان لوگوں سے بات کرے جو آپ کی سمجھ میں آنے والی تشویش کے بارے میں اس کی حمایت کر رہے ہیں ، وہ شاید اس کی مدد کر سکتے ہیں تاکہ آپ کو یہ سمجھنے میں مدد ملے کہ وہ اپنی صحت یابی میں کہاں ہے۔ مجھے امید ہے کہ آپ اپنے بارے میں مزید لکھیں گے ، کیا آپ اپنی دیکھ بھال کر رہے ہیں یا صرف اسے تبدیل کرنے کی کوشش کرتے ہوئے دیکھ رہے ہیں؟ جب آپ دن میں 24 گھنٹے اس فکر میں گزارتے ہیں کہ آیا کوئی عزیز واقعی صحت یاب ہونے کی کوشش کر رہا ہے تو آپ خود ترقی نہیں کر رہے ہیں۔ جوئے کی لت سی جی اور ان سے محبت کرنے والوں دونوں کے خود اعتمادی اور خود اعتمادی کو تباہ کر دیتی ہے۔ اپنے آپ کی دیکھ بھال کرنا ایک ناقص تجویز لگ سکتا ہے لیکن میں جانتا ہوں کہ یہ نہ صرف آپ کے لیے کام کرتا ہے بلکہ بالآخر یہ آپ کے شوہر کے لیے بھی بہترین چیز ہے۔ میں جانتا ہوں کہ جوئے کی لت پر قابو پایا جا سکتا ہے – میں نے اسے کئی بار دیکھا اور سنا ہے لیکن میں یہ بھی جانتا ہوں کہ سی جی اور ان کے ارد گرد کے لوگوں کے لیے یہ جاننا مشکل ہے کہ جب حقیقی صحت یابی شروع ہوتی ہے لیکن وہ شروع کرتے ہیں۔ پوسٹ کرتے رہیں اور ممکنہ طور پر جمعرات کو 20.00 سے 21.00 گھنٹے کے درمیان ایف اینڈ ایف گروپ میں شامل ہوجائیں – بعض اوقات حقیقی وقت میں بات چیت کرنا آسان ہوجاتا ہے۔ بہت خوب اپنی پہلی پوسٹ لکھ کر ، پہلی پوسٹ سب سے مشکل ہے۔ مخمل۔

[velvet]

Hi Sweepy CG(강박성 도박꾼)를 좋아하는 사람들에게는 돈을 잃는 것이 큰 문제이지만 거짓말을 하고 일반적으로 나쁜 행동을 하면 더 큰 상처를 받습니다. 남편이 도움을 받기 시작한 이후로 남편의 행동이 바뀌었습니까? 덜 변덕스럽고, 더 개방적이며, 더 친절하고, 더 안정되었습니까? 주변 사람들이 립 서비스가 아닌 진정한 변화를 인식하도록 돕는 것들입니다. 당신의 남편은 당신이 도박 없이 살고자 하는 그의 욕망에 자신감이 부족하다는 것을 알고 있습니까? 그렇다면 그가 당신의 이해 가능한 우려에 대해 그를 지지하는 사람들에게 이야기하도록 제안할 수 있습니다. 그들은 그가 회복 중 어디에 있는지 이해하는 데 도움을 줄 수 있을 것입니다. 나는 당신이 당신 자신에 대해 더 많이 쓰기를 바랍니다. 당신은 당신 자신을 돌보고 있습니까, 아니면 단지 그가 변화하려고 노력하는 것을 지켜보고 있습니까? 사랑하는 사람이 정말로 회복을 찾고 있는지 걱정하면서 하루 24시간을 보낸다면 당신은 자신이 발전하고 있지 않은 것입니다. 도박 중독은 CG와 그들을 사랑하는 사람들 모두의 자신감과 자부심을 파괴합니다. 자신을 돌보는 것은 좋지 않은 제안처럼 보일 수 있지만 그것이 당신에게 뿐만 아니라 궁극적으로 당신의 남편에게도 가장 좋은 일이라는 것을 압니다. 나는 도박 중독이 통제될 수 있다는 것을 압니다. 나는 그것을 여러 번 보았고 들었지만 진정한 회복이 시작되는 시점을 알면서도 시작하는 시점을 CG와 주변 사람들 모두가 알기 어렵다는 것도 압니다. 게시를 계속하고 영국 시간으로 목요일 20시에서 21시 사이에 F&F 그룹에 가입할 수 있습니다. 때로는 실시간으로 의사 소통하는 것이 더 쉽습니다. 첫글 잘썼는데 첫글이 제일 어렵네요. 벨벳

[velvet]

Hi Sweepy Embora a perda de dinheiro seja um grande problema para aqueles que amam CGs (jogadores compulsivos), a mentira e o mau comportamento geral dói mais. O comportamento do seu marido mudou desde que começou a receber ajuda, ele está menos temperamental, mais aberto, mais gentil, mais calmo? Essas são as coisas que ajudam as pessoas ao seu redor a reconhecer a mudança real, em oposição a falar da boca para fora. Seu marido sabe que você está perdendo a confiança em seu desejo de viver sem apostas? Se ele estiver, então talvez você possa sugerir que ele fale com aqueles que o estão apoiando sobre sua compreensível preocupação. Eles provavelmente podem ajudá-lo a entender onde ele está em sua recuperação. Eu espero que você escreva mais sobre você, você está cuidando de si mesma ou apenas assistindo ele tentando mudar? Quando você passa 24 horas por dia se preocupando se um ente querido está realmente em busca de recuperação, você não está progredindo. O vício do jogo destrói a autoconfiança e a auto-estima tanto do CG quanto de quem os ama. Cuidar de si mesma pode parecer uma sugestão ruim, mas sei que não funciona apenas para você, mas também para o seu marido. Eu sei que o vício de jogar pode ser controlado – eu vi e ouvi isso muitas vezes, mas também sei que é difícil para o CG e para aqueles ao seu redor saber quando uma verdadeira recuperação começa, mas eles começam. Continue postando e talvez junte-se ao grupo F&F na quinta-feira entre as 20h00 e as 21h00, horário do Reino Unido – às vezes é mais fácil se comunicar em tempo real. Parabéns por escrever sua primeira postagem, a primeira postagem é a mais difícil. Veludo

[velvet]

Hi Selina
It seems to me from reading your post that your Dad is a terrific source o9f support for you. He is already worried and is probably reading all the signs while believing that you are unable to see what is happening. I suggest that your mother hasn’t talked for exactly the same reason you are holding back.
It is easier to bury our heads in the sand and that is so for the CG (compulsive gambler) too – facing something like a gambling addiction is not something any of us expect to face – CG and F&F alike. It take great courage on the part of the CG to face their addiction and those who love them unwittingly enable through ignorance of something that is indeed very scary– I am not judging as I enabled for 25 years.
Your words tell a common story of an addiction that is building in strength because he is not addressing it and he has not felt the pain of his behaviour yet. Arguing is pointless because trying to make sense of the senseless will only cause you to worry and lose your confidence and self-esteem.
The 20 questions posed on the Gamblers anonymous web site could possibly help your partner to see he is not alone and that there is help for him. Maybe your could download them and leave them for him to see – he may well screw them up and throw them away but at least he would know that you are taking his addiction seriously even if he is not. I suggest leaving them for him to see rather than presenting them to him which would probably only result in him loudly protesting that he is not addicted.
Maybe you could ask your father how he controlled his addiction – any support and suggestions of ways forward is good. The addiction to gamble thrives on secrecy to get maximum enablement and it can leave those who love the CG feeling very isolated.
It would be great to communicate with you in real time on Thursday between 20.00-21.00 hours UK time. Just click on the Helpline, scroll down to F&F group and click on ‘join’.
Finally Selina, I wouldn’t be writing to you if I didn’t know the addiction to gamble couldn’t be controlled and wonderful lives lived. Unfortunately your partner can only save himself, you cannot save him,
Look after ‘you’.
Velvet

[velvet]

Hello Faith and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

Hi Logic
I like your final sentence best but what are you doing to look after you?
Friday might be his next hurdle but do you have plans for Friday and at the weekend that please you? Are you waiting to see or hear what happens in his life to decide what you will do or are you planning your own life to please yourself?
Speak soon
Velvet

[velvet]

Hi BL
Quite rightly your husband appears to be putting his recovery first. Recoveries for both sides of a relationship are important and neither side should force the other into speeding an outcome.
Your recovery is equally as important and I liked the big BUT in your sentence – you have recognised that what happens within you matters too.
It is often said by CGs and F&F alike that we cannot/don’t understand each other – only a CG can understand a CG and only F&F can understand F&F. To a certain extent this is right but who understands what and who has the hardest work to do is immaterial – what counts is the individual and how comfortable they are with what is going on. It isn’t selfish to put yourself first with yourself just as your husband is doing with himself.
It is as though you are walking on 2 parallel roads, you can see each other but you cannot connect fully. The roads are beginning to get closer and you are beginning to see each other more clearly but in my opinion this is the most important time to keep walking forward and not cut across to his road. This forum is walking with you and his counsellor is walking with him and for a time, maybe longer than either of you would wish, I believe, this is the best way to achieve what you both want.
To hear you enjoying your life is wonderful so keep doing what you are doing because it is working for you and if it works for you then it is good for your husband to see.
Keep posting
Velvet

[velvet]

Hi Logic
Lily has given you such a great reply that I can add very little apart from maybe pointing out a little word that my CG told me about a long time ago.
You say you ‘need’ your CG to take you to your mother and you have set out clearly what you ‘need’. I was told by my CG that when his addiction had been active, what I needed was not what he needed. My ‘need’ was for him to stop gambling and live a decent, honest, caring life but his ‘need’ was to gamble.
I believe you know the right thing to do but the hard bit is doing it and although I really do understand the dilemma I suggest that somehow, some way you go to see your mother without any help from someone whose sober support is dependent on a karate class.
I hope your foot mends soon. Injury makes us feel vulnerable and perhaps more in need than usual but if you had never met your partner how would you have got to see your mother?
Keep posting
Velvet

[velvet]

Hello Mg and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

Hello City Eagle and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

Hello Alice and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

<

Hello Anna

Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.

Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page. Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂

If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.

You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your
situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂

We look forward to hearing all about you!

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Author]

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