[velvet]

For Miss T Du har ret, når du siger, at du har brug for støtte til dig. nogle gange hjælper det at vide lidt om, hvad der sker med dig og din b/f, når du er fanget af en afhængigheds hvirvelvind I mellemtiden kan du kigge på nogle af de andre medlems tråde – du er ikke alene. Fløjl

[velvet]

मिस टी के लिए आप सही हैं जब आप कहते हैं कि आपको अपने लिए समर्थन की आवश्यकता है। कभी-कभी यह आपके और आपके बी/एफ के साथ क्या होता है, इसके बारे में थोड़ा जानने में मदद करता है जब आप एक व्यसन के बवंडर में फंस जाते हैं इस बीच, दूसरे सदस्य के कुछ सूत्र देखें – आप अकेले नहीं हैं। मख़मली

[velvet]

For frøken T Du har rett når du sier at du trenger støtte for deg. noen ganger hjelper det å vite litt om hva som skjer med deg og din b/f når du er fanget i virvelvinden av en avhengighet. I mellomtiden kan du se på noen av de andre medlemstrådene – du er ikke alene. Fløyel

[velvet]

Għas-Sinjorina T Għandek raġun meta tgħid li għandek bżonn appoġġ għalik. xi drabi jgħin biex tkun taf ftit dwar x'jiġri lilek u lill-b / f tiegħek meta tkun maqbud fir-riħ ta 'vizzju Sadanittant, agħti ħarsa lejn uħud mill-ħjut tal-membru l-ieħor – m'intix waħdek. Velvet

[velvet]

Para a senhorita T Você tem razão quando diz que precisa de apoio para você. às vezes ajuda saber um pouco sobre o que acontece com você e seu b / f quando você é pego no turbilhão de um vício. Enquanto isso, dê uma olhada nos tópicos de outros membros – você não está sozinho. Veludo

[velvet]

Hi T
Glad that you found the forum. I will reply to you later. In the meantime I will bring up my thread ‘The F&F Cycle’ which might help you to understand what has been happening to you and why your bf is so up and down with his moods

Velvet

[velvet]

Hello Miss T

Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.

Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page

Read about the friends and Family Online Groups

Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂

If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.

You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂

We look forward to hearing all about you!

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

Hi JE
Your mother continues to act as though nothing is wrong because to accept responsibility for her actions, when she has no coping mechanism, is more than she can handle.
I reckon that having read the above that you will be saying – but what about the rest of us, how do we cope, we must handle what she has done to us – why is it all about her?
You can cope because you don’t own the addiction that controls your mother’s life. You are logical and rational; you are just trying to muddle through your life with its ups and downs as best you can but (unlike your mother at the moment) you can control your own life. Your mother’s addiction has no logic or rationale, it is destructive and manipulative; it hurts all those who are close to it and most of all it destroys the person who owns it.
I am hoping that the interventions included your father, brother and grandparents because it is important that you are all aware of the capabilities of a gambling addiction. In my opinion you should all double up on protecting any finances that you have and look after each other at this terrible time. I suggest that the whole family should understand that until your mother seeks treatment for her addiction she cannot be trusted, indeed she cannot trust herself.
I can support you but sadly it is beyond my remit to advise you on the drugs being given to your mother to control her Parkinson’s disease. Are you able to speak to her Parkinson’s health provider? Perhaps you could approach the casinos where your mother indulges her addiction and request, in the strongest terms, that they should take some responsibility for the care of your mother who is undoubtedly a vulnerable person.
It is so important that you look after each other and stand united against your mother’s addiction. I really do understand your feelings towards her but whereas I too hate the gambling addiction, I believe that the vulnerable person who owns such a debilitating addiction deserves sympathy, never hate. It is better to support her by refusing to enable her and to find the right support for her whilst always ensuring that you protect yourselves. The health of all those around your mother is important and I hope it helps to know that your mother did not ask for or want her addiction anymore than you.
Your father and brother would be welcome to communicate with out Helpline which is excellent. Your mother too would be welcome in our ‘gambler-only’ groups which are facilitated on Monday and Thursday evenings UK time. She could share with those who understand her but are working towards gamble-free lives. Our Helpline is there for her too. Gam-Anon is a great organisation, sister to GA, it is for friends and families affected by the addiction.
I would love to welcome you and your family to an F&F group, nothing said in the group appears on the forum, so it is a great place to let off steam but also to learn about what it is that is causing you so much pain and how to cope with that pain.
Please keep posting, you will always be heard
Velvet

[velvet]

Hello Kb and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

Здравей WM Не си писал от известно време и се надявам, че това означава, че се справяш по -добре. Би било чудесно да получите актуализация. Не мога да ви кажа какво да правите, тъй като всички решения трябва да бъдат ваши. Не мога да кажа и не бих казал например, че „трябва“ да говорите с близките му приятели. Възможно е да познавате някои от приятелите му и да ги познавате достатъчно добре, за да им се доверите на знанията, които притежавате, но за съжаление знаех, че подобна поверителност има обратен ефект. Може да се окажете с по -ядосан син и с един човек по -малко, с когото да говорите. Семейството може да бъде различно, но отново само вие можете да прецените на кого може да се вярва и кой ще слуша и разбира какво казвате – не е лесно, знам. Слушането е моята предпочитана, ефективна стъпка, а не говоренето. Да искаш комарджия да ти помогне да разбереш, за да можеш да го подкрепиш, често е чудесен път напред – очевидно, ако използва този отвор само за да получи повече пари, това не е полезно, но бих предположил, че синът ти не е щастлив и може би може да бъде насърчен да говори за това как се чувства. Надявам се да ви чуя отново As Ever Velvet

[velvet]

Hei WM Et ole kirjoittanut vähään aikaan ja toivon, että selviät paremmin. Olisi hienoa saada päivitys. En voi kertoa sinulle, mitä tehdä, koska kaikkien päätösten on oltava sinun. En voi sanoa enkä sanoisi esimerkiksi, että sinun pitäisi "puhua" hänen läheisten ystäviensä kanssa. Voi olla, että tunnet joitakin hänen ystäviään ja että tunnet heidät riittävän hyvin voidaksesi luottaa heihin tietämyksesi kanssa, mutta valitettavasti olen tuntenut tällaiset luottamukset. Saatat saada vihaisemman pojan ja yhden henkilön, jolle voit puhua vähemmän. Perhe voi olla erilainen, mutta jälleen kerran vain sinä voit arvioida, keneen voi luottaa ja kuka kuuntelee ja ymmärtää mitä sanot – tiedän, että se ei ole helppoa. Kuunteleminen on mieluisin, tehokas askel puhumisen sijaan. Pelaajan pyytäminen auttamaan sinua ymmärtämään, jotta voit tukea häntä, on usein hyvä tapa edetä – ilmeisesti jos hän käyttää tätä aukkoa vain saadakseen lisää rahaa, siitä ei ole apua, mutta kuvittelisin, että poikasi ei ole onnellinen ja ehkä häntä voitaisiin kannustaa puhumaan miltä hänestä tuntuu. Toivon kuulevani sinusta uudelleen kuin Ever Velvet

[velvet]

Hi WM
You haven’t written for a while and I hope that means you are coping better. It would be great to get an update.
I cannot tell you what to do as all decisions have to be yours. I cannot say and would not say, for instance, that you ‘should’ talk to his close friends. It might be that you know some of his friends and that you know them well enough to trust them with the knowledge you have but sadly, I have known such confidences backfire. You could end up with an angrier son and one less person you can talk to. Family can be different but once again only you can gauge who can be trusted and who will listen and understand what you are saying – it isn’t easy I know.
Listening is my preferred, effective, step rather than talking. Asking a gambler to help you understand so that you can support him is often a great way forward – obviously if he uses this opening just to obtain more money then that is not helpful, however, I would imagine that your son is not happy and maybe he could be encouraged to talk about how he feels.
Hoping to hear from you again
As Ever
Velvet

[velvet]

Olá WM. Faz um tempo que você não escreve e espero que isso signifique que está se saindo melhor. Seria ótimo receber uma atualização. Não posso lhe dizer o que fazer, pois todas as decisões devem ser suas. Não posso dizer e não diria, por exemplo, que você 'deveria' falar com seus amigos íntimos. Pode ser que você conheça alguns de seus amigos e os conheça bem o suficiente para confiar-lhes o conhecimento que possui, mas, infelizmente, sei que essas confidências saíram pela culatra. Você pode acabar com um filho mais bravo e uma pessoa a menos com quem conversar. A família pode ser diferente, mas, mais uma vez, só você pode avaliar em quem pode confiar e quem vai ouvir e entender o que você está dizendo – não é fácil, eu sei. Ouvir é meu passo preferido e eficaz em vez de falar. Pedir a um jogador para ajudá-lo a entender para que você possa apoiá-lo é muitas vezes um ótimo caminho a seguir – obviamente, se ele usar essa oportunidade apenas para obter mais dinheiro, isso não é útil, no entanto, imagino que seu filho não esteja feliz e talvez ele pode ser encorajado a falar sobre como se sente. Esperando ouvir de você novamente As Ever Velvet

[velvet]

안녕 WM 당신은 한동안 글을 쓰지 않았고 그것이 당신이 더 잘 대처하고 있다는 것을 의미하기를 바랍니다. 업데이트를 받는 것이 좋습니다. 모든 결정은 귀하의 몫이므로 어떻게 해야 하는지 말씀드릴 수 없습니다. 예를 들어 그의 친한 친구들과 '말해야 한다'고 말할 수도 없고 말하지도 않을 것입니다. 당신이 그의 친구 중 일부를 알고 있고 당신이 알고 있는 지식으로 그들을 믿을 만큼 충분히 알고 있을 수도 있지만 슬프게도 나는 그러한 확신이 역효과를 낸다는 것을 알고 있습니다. 당신은 더 화난 아들과 이야기할 수 있는 사람이 한 명 줄어들 수 있습니다. 가족은 다를 수 있지만 다시 한 번 당신만이 믿을 수 있는 사람과 당신의 말을 듣고 이해할 수 있는 사람을 측정할 수 있습니다. 쉬운 일이 아닙니다. 듣기는 말하는 것보다 내가 선호하는 효과적인 단계입니다. 도박꾼에게 이해를 도와줄 수 있도록 도와달라고 요청하는 것은 종종 앞으로 나아갈 수 있는 좋은 방법입니다. 분명히 그가 단지 더 많은 돈을 벌기 위해 이 구멍을 사용한다면 그것은 도움이 되지 않습니다. 그러나 저는 당신의 아들이 행복하지 않고 아마도 그는 자신이 어떻게 느끼는지에 대해 이야기하도록 격려받을 수 있습니다. As Ever Velvet의 소식을 다시 듣고 싶습니다.

[velvet]

Olá WM. Faz um tempo que você não escreve e espero que isso signifique que está se saindo melhor. Seria ótimo receber uma atualização. Não posso lhe dizer o que fazer, pois todas as decisões devem ser suas. Não posso dizer e não diria, por exemplo, que você 'deveria' falar com seus amigos íntimos. Pode ser que você conheça alguns de seus amigos e os conheça bem o suficiente para confiar-lhes o conhecimento que possui, mas, infelizmente, sei que essas confidências saíram pela culatra. Você pode acabar com um filho mais zangado e uma pessoa a menos com quem conversar. A família pode ser diferente, mas, mais uma vez, só você pode avaliar em quem pode confiar e quem vai ouvir e entender o que você está dizendo – não é fácil, eu sei. Ouvir é meu passo preferido e eficaz em vez de falar. Pedir a um jogador para ajudá-lo a entender para que você possa apoiá-lo é muitas vezes um ótimo caminho a seguir – obviamente, se ele usar essa oportunidade apenas para obter mais dinheiro, isso não ajuda, no entanto, imagino que seu filho não esteja feliz e talvez ele pode ser encorajado a falar sobre como se sente. Esperando ouvir de você novamente As Ever Velvet

[Author]

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