[TTA]

Reading your post was almost as if I had wrote it. The progression of gambling that started from an early age was exactly the same as your journey. The only difference being is that I was playing slots online.

I myself eventually hit rock bottom about 7 months ago and finally opened up to my family about what was happening in my life. They have unconditionally supported as did my girlfriend for a good couple of years. I tried for a very long time to carry on and pay my debts but unfortunately had to admit defeat. I had to declare myself bankrupt a few months back and I totally agree that even the word was scary.

7 months ago when I was eventually honest with myself about who I was and what I had done I now realise was the day my life took a different course. Since that day I have been gamble free but the one thing I underestimated was the reality of the deverstaion it had caused.

My girlfriend and I now live apart and have a very uncertain future, I’m bankrupt and also have to move.

I too am on the waiting list for Gordon Moody and will hopefully be in within 8 weeks. Although I have stopped gambling for some months I have found facing up to the reality of the situation and not running back to the safe zone of gambling is very difficult.

In short, every part of your post I can relate to and believe me you’ve done fantastic to get where you are currently. Keep up the good work and hopefully like myself you will grab hold of the rare opportunity to change your life for the better by being accepted into the programme

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In chat buddy! Not long left but will be on at 2am as well! Hopefully we can catch up?

[TTA]

In my experience it’s really positive that family are aware of everything. The more support you have the better in my experience.

Although fairly new, we are all in the same position just at different stages. Even taking this step is huge!

In the outset blocking software and putting measures in place made a massice difference to me and brokenthe continuous cycle.

I will be chatting at 12 if your around but if not keep going and be positive. Your making all the right steps. Be proud.

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Really nice to see you started a thread and even better news to hear you have booked the dates to see a councillor. Have been hoping to hear a update after chatting the other day.

I firmly believe that regardless of personal circumstances and stage of recovery we are at, have experienced everything you are saying and understand.

Hopefully see you on chat later tonight

[TTA]

Thanks for posting was hoping to hear from you today.

What you have said makes so much sense, I was very similar.

My main problem was exactly the same in that although it was not everyday when I did I carried on until I had nothing left. There was no rational thought but I would not give it up until I could not physically get money to carry on.

The days I didn’t gamble I honestly believed it was not a problem but then did the cycle again.

I carried on like this for so long and ultimately realisation came when I had nothing left to lose and hit rock bottom. I honestly wish I had recognised that I had a problem and to deal with it sooner as I wouldn’t have hit the bottom.

Don’t get me wrong I don’t look back and regret this all the time. It is what it is but I would never want to see what happened with me happen to anyone else.

Coming clean saved me and I honestly believe that I just wish I had done it sooner.

It seems you have the choice now. Do whatever is right for you of course but I honestly believe by coming clean you will interrupt the cycle and things will start to change.

Keep being positive.

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I’ve just been chatting with a couple of what I would now like to call friends, in chat.

I wanted to put pen to paper,so to speak, as I feel so postive after our conversation. Although at first daunting I feel that it’s helped me so much. Being around people who understand, do not judge and be so perfectly honest which when you live in a world where you do your best to hide everything is quite overwhealimg.

At my worst times I always felt no one would understand and everyone would be disappointed could quite possibly be a common feeling for everyone and to have people that understand and make you feel comfortable is a incredible feeling!

Thank you!

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Hi IWON just checking in to see how things are going. Hope all is ok?

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Hi guys thanks a lot for the words of encouragement. It’s nice to how many of you can relate.

Had a much better day today and feeling more positive. It’s a much longer process than I anticipated after stopping but keep trying to remind myself how far I have come and how much better my life is already.

[TTA]

I think it’s such a positive action to come on and post your last comment. We have all been there I’m sure. It happened many times to me. There isn’t a miracle cure but none of us would be here if there was.

Be strong and positive tomorrow is a new day.

I will be on chat at in 20 mins. Feel free to join if you like?

[TTA]

I’ve felt down in general today. If I’m in honest nothing in particular happened to cause this but find these days come from time to time.

Some days I reflect more than others and certainly do this when I have too much time on my hands.

Dealing with the consequences everyday are challenging and a strong reminder of how devastating my addiction was, as well as knowing it will following me like my shadow for the rest of my life. The ironic thing is that although I know gambling has caused financial ruin and times are hard, I actually feel richer than I ever have by continuing to be gamble free. Re building is a long process but each day I don’t gamble my life improves I’m sure.

[TTA]

Believe me you are doing more than ok!

Reading your previous post was almost word for word exactly how I felt at that time. Everything you said is exactly how I felt which is encouraging for me and hopefully for you.

Gambling was the world I went to when I wanted to escape my life, when the stress of various situations was too much and when I struggled to cope. Nothing else mattered when I entered that world, nothing at all. It inevitably ended up in making things worse and the cycle started again.

The fact that you have recognised it and have shared it is fantastic.

I say this because when I had these thoughts I was starting to accept and recognise what was happening. It was so hard because facing up to it and dealing with it never entered my mind and being honest with myself was harder than I could have imagined.

Everyday I did not gamble and accepted who I was got easier and I definitely feel that everyday gamble free and facing the inevitable that I had run from for so long slowly made me a stronger person.

Your doing it and it’s fantastic. The more honest I was with myself the clearer I thought, the more strength I felt,l. My self respect slowly started to come back and the embarrassment and shame started to fade.

Keep going

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Will be online again at 12 if your around. We be good to continue conversation

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Hi IDI

This is the best news I have heard all day! I have thought a couple of times about our chat last night and that you were finishing it hard and was hoping to catch up on chat shortly to catch up!

Your should be so so proud that you got through the night and did not give in! You should remind yourself how much achievement that is all down to you!

In the beginning I felt exactly the same and can relate to the feeling of just staying put and not doing anything. I forced myself to do something, anything. Taking my mind of things. I found even small things like hoovering the house made my mind more positive.

It will take time but every day is a fantastic achievement and it gets easier. Take every successful day as fuel to stop you resetting the clock!

I know you can do! Keep going!

[TTA]

It’s so nice to read that you feel a little better about the bankruptcy situation. I honestly did feel in the outset theat it was the end of the world but life really does go on. I honestly now feel like it’s a positive step in the road to recovery. Look forward to catching up on chat at some point.

I understand by previous comments you are away for a few days so have a safe trip

[TTA]

If you want to let me know contact details please do. If I can help or support in any way I would like to and perhaps you me if needed

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