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Hey man,
How about getting a gambling blocker? I used betfilter myself and for a fairly low subscription fee (you can choose 1 or 2 years) all gambling related sites (but not recovery forums like this) will be blocked on your computer/laptop/phone. It helped me stay clean for 6 months right after the peak of my addiction. Again like I said confessing to someone else will help you mentally.
You sound like you make good money so all you need to do is to STOP spending it on gambling. You can easily look back after a year with decent savings and in a much better place if you stop now. You need to be patient…that is the key. No quick fixes…gambling will not save you…it will only make you go lower and lower if you continue. Change your life path today.
Hey man,
Good work on telling your fam and giving over control of your debit card. This is a great start and should be a load off yourself because now you’ve got ppl supporting your recovery. Be careful though CGs typically can always find a way to gamble (cash advance, borrowing/stealing, taking out loans, lying etc.) So perhaps consider self-exclusion as well as a backup safety net.
Yes the money lost and the associated guilt and feelings of despair will be there…just know that the longer you don’t gamble the less of these thoughts you will have. You sound like you are still quite young so use this as an expensive (but early) lesson of why you can never touch gambling again. Know that there are rock bottoms far deeper than where you are at now (keep gambling and debt, loss of family/job/health/possessions/sanity will await). Remember the pain of what gambling has done to you next time you feel an urge. Let this be the day you decide gambling will not take anything else from you ever again. Don’t say “hoping” – your mindset must be “I know I will not gamble again” to truly stop. If you feel like you cannot control it the addiction will without a doubt lure you back in. Remember ultimately you are in control of your actions…you are not a “victim”. Good luck with day 2.
55 days is great! Good luck on hitting 100.
Hi joey, welcome to these forums and hopefully this will mark the start of a new chapter for you.
I can see a lot of myself in you. I’m currently 27 as well like you. I had gambled since I was very young as my dad plays poker. It was never a major issue until early-mid last year, when a $500 loss just kept escalating until I’d lost my entire $23,000 of savings. I had a good job, a great gf and everything else was looking up in my life at that time.
This is where you are now. You must stop now.
I ended up taking out a $20,000 line of credit and blowing that too. I ended up treating my gf not the way she deserved as well due to my addiction. My work performance dropped. I stopped going to the gym.
This is where you’ll end up if you keep going. Self-exclude and STOP now. Confiding to your SO will actually take a massive load off your shoulders as I’m sure she has some kind of inkling that something isn’t quite right with you at the moment. But that’s ultimately up to you. The main thing is you STOP now. You said you’ve hit rock bottom – trust me, the addiction will take you to lower rock bottoms that you would never have even thought were possible.
I’ve stopped my compulsive gambling for just over a year now and feel great, despite having a few minor relapses (3-4 since). Everything in my life has become a lot better since that period of madness over a few months.
Go to GA and if you’re suffering from depression or anxiety – seek help from your GP/counsellor. The main thing is to NOT gamble – self-exclude, limit access to your funds. Hand over control of your finances to your gf if possible. All the best.
Nice one on the self-exclusion and telling your OH, I knew she would take it well! As easy as it might have been to take these steps major props to you for actually going ahead with it – as these actions (although quite straight-forward) are actually very difficult for many CGs to initiate (either due to fear or their addiction telling their brain to “do it later” or that it is “not necessary”). Great work and all the best. I’m sure you’ll get through this and you’ll look back in a years time at this as just a distant memory but a major lesson learnt.
Hey BlueSpark,
Well done on starting your diary on here. It’s good that you’re feeling more motivated and with purpose at work today and often a fresh smart that comes from recovering from gambling can actually help us kick start some good habits/mindsets in life. But be careful…it is very easy to bounce from one end of the spectrum to the other when you’re a compulsive gambler. The gambling gives us very quick and strong mood swings. You might go a week or two feeling great and like you’ve recovered, but with just one moment of weakness or lapse in judgement, you’ll be straight back into the gambling hole. I do urge you to self-exclude from where you gamble and close all your betting accounts.
Despite not being an insignificant amount, $3,000 is actually a very CHEAP lesson to escape gambling IF you stop gambling completely from now. It’s also not a life-changing amount and can be made back relatively quickly if you just focus on work and savings. But, this is a very dangerous sign of where you’re heading – remember, you’re still young and you can lose A LOT more throughout your life and go into a mountain of debt if you keep letting this addiction escalate. I have been on various gambling forums over the years and I have seen countless stories of people who started with relatively small/moderate losses, who sought help on forums, but nevertheless went on to lose their life-savings/go into major debt. On top of this, stealing, losing jobs and relationships typically go alongside these. So let me make it clear for you again: use that 3k as a lesson as to why you should NEVER EVER touch ANY form of gambling ever again. If you keep playing, there’s a high chance you’ll lose everything important to you in your life. Just think about it the next time before you gamble.
As for your OH – it is highly likely that she will be supportive of you. The amount isn’t too unreasonable (although most OHs will support their partner initially regardless of the amount lost – it is only when they keep lying and gambling on that relationships usually break down). Telling her will also be a huge mental burden off your mind – in fact, she probably already has some suspicions that something is wrong with you at the moment – usually the people close around us can tell because gambling makes us very withdrawn, isolated, moody and just not ourselves in general. You can also ask her to monitor your finances and give her control of your money as any money you have in your hands is money is extremely vulnerable to be gambled away.
Hi there, welcome, you’ve taken a good first step to seek help on here. Often times it takes a rock bottom for us to finally realise that we need help and a fresh start.
Losing everything is a typical end result of a gambling addiction. It sounds like you’ve still be gambling recently so at the moment it will be extremely difficult for you to just stop cold turkey.
The first thing you need to do is accept that the money is gone and it’s not coming back. Dwelling on the past is a key trigger that will cause you to have many, many relapses if you are not able to let it go. To help you with this, I would highly recommend self-excluding yourself from all physical and online venues/websites that you’ve gambled on (or might gamble on). If you want further restrictions in place, you can consider getting a loved one to monitor and control your finances for the time being. Any money in your hand right now is money that is highly likely to go straight into funding your addiction.
Now once you have the restrictions and blockers in place, seek emotional support. Attend GA and confide to someone your trust if you can. Getting it off your chest will help you immensely. Keep posting on here and keep track of your progress. We’re all in this together but remember to always be patient…take it one day at a time. Good luck.
Hey vera,
I completely agree with you there. Definitely the aim is to never touch gambling EVER again. I definitely think that relapses are almost impossible to avoid along the journey to recovery (and I will never use this as an excuse for gambling) and I think there is definitely an “improvement” in these relapses or “slips” as we progress through them. The mitigation of the damage done each time, the extent (money/time) of each relapse and the lessons we learn from each one. I think these go a long way towards our overall recovery.
But yes, the ultimate goal is to NEVER touch gambling ever and as I have advised many others on here, we should never play the victim card and use “relapses” as an EXCUSE to play. Don’t be disheartened by them but it is important we seem them as very dangerous (and potentially can spread into a wildfire very quickly) and thus must learn as much as we can from them and do whatever it takes to prevent those triggers/situations arising again in the future.
Very relatable post. This addiction is indeed very tragic and such an easy pitfall to fall into. I think gambling online and through your phones has really revolutionised the gambling industry. Unfortunately the ease at which it is for young people to gamble online has not been offset by much governmental regulation and/or prevention. I feel this is an area which will catch up once the epidemic of young gambler addicts continues to rise but right now it is just way too easy for people to fall into this devastating and life-altering trap.
Yeah I agree we were not always a cg. But once we take that first step our brain is essentially rewired (usually after our first major loss/few major losses). From there it’s incredibly difficult to undo it. So difficult that the majority of us (after many, MANY relapses) simply accept defeat and realize that 0 gambling is the only way to go. Your intention is good and like you said one day at a time!