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HI K,
thank you for your support though I can’t help feeling guilty, guilty that I am letting myself and my GT friends down. I know that I need to do this for me and me alone but I suppose a small part of me felt that I owed it to you guys to be strong, respected by others etc. I know that I am a good person but what does eat me is the thought that my son/daughter is going to be brought into this world in 6 weeks time and all I can think about is having a weekly bet…. not good, its only a small bet, but I could use that money to buy myself or family a small gift, even a chinese is better spent than gambling. I hope that you continue your pledge and please know that I think what you are doing is great, you and many many other members are a true inspiration to me.
Take care and I will keep in touch..
My goal today is not to gamble (hypocrite I know) but that is all I can do.
chat soon :-)Players do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!Paul,
It may mean nothing, or everything but our thoughts are with you. Nobody said this addiction was easy but we can alter our thought process to act before we gamble instead of acting after we have gambled.
Stay strong and try and remember, gambling is not our friend, gambling is not OK to do if you are a CG, gambling will take your money and leave you broke.
Look at it this way, If whilst gambling I had won the lottery do you think that I would have stopped????? truth is, I would have got on the 1st plane to Las Vegas to celebrate my win, how sad is that, my 1st thought was not to treat my family or friends or myself but to gamble……… gamble, gamble gamble until I was either skint or sick of losing.
I kinda understand how people now say that money is the root of all evil, i dont think that winning the lottery would make happy.
Players do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!Hi K,
its just another chapter that you are dealing with very well. It takes a special kind of person to do what you are doing so well done for your PMA. Us men find it hard to talk at the best of times so when it comes to things like this I am sure D is trying his best to ‘open up’ that said, you are perfectly within your rights to know what is going on, I wouldn’t want some other man speaking with debs (my wife) without knowing what the hell was being said…
Keep strong and its interesting to see that you never mentioned urges in your last email, that can hopefully on be a good thing K. You can and will work through this, you have a great network of friends and family to listen to you bi*ch anytime you like!!!
PS… your trip to KMart reminds me of the film ‘Little Miss Sunshine’
Take care OzPlayers do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!Hi K,
must say I had a laugh at your family outing to KMart, I only have the one (at the monent) and i know what that feels like! What I have noticed is that I tend to get stressed less these days, I am 100% putting this down to not gambling, yet another positive in my books.
I hope you and your family are doing well, it makes me 🙂 to think about other people getting on with their lives, being a CG will NOT stop us from living our lives!!!!!!!!!
Players do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!Hi Kathryn,
Its good to see a ‘normal’ person leading a ‘normal’ life again!!!
I think its kinda normal for all of us at one point or another to speak their mind, I took no offense and if I am truthful I don’t see what the big deal is, if anything, it should be me apologising for my silly and inconsiderate email about how I am going to gamble on Saturday, I said the same crap last week and guess what, I didn’t gamble.
I am expecting the worst from myself K, somewhere down the line, I have always let myself down and others and I think the pressure of actually succeeding and being honest with myself is actually causing more stress than actually gambling!
All is good today and I am glad to see that you are feeling good K 🙂
Keep those updates of yours coming, I just wish I could bring myself to tell my wife what a great bunch of friends I have met online, geeeeee, I sound like a right GEEK!
PS…. only 7 weeks to ba ba number 2! wish me luck!
Chat soon geek!Players do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!it cant be easy K, I cant relate to it but what I can say is well done…
please use the same logical thought process when you get the results, remember that you cant change them, only act on themPlayers do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!Hi Kathryn,
I am sooo pleased that you had a great time, Its good to see that gambling didn;t play a part in your weekend.
What else is great to see is, you COULD have gambled as you arent banned in this state but you DECIDED not to. well done you, it goes to show how far you have came K!!!
keep her lit!Players do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!Hey K,
I hope you have a wonderful gambling free time away with your hubby, you both deserve it!
its funny, when I used to plan holidays etc i would think about how this was going to upset my gambling time, or I would spend my 1st day haunting for the ‘best’ gambling joint to spend a few hours of my day in. I hope that my next holiday I will be thinking about how I am going to keep an eye on a 3yr old and a new born (all being well)
drink plently and enjoy yourselves, turn that mobile offfffffff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Players do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!Hi Kathryn,
I totally get the words from Tim about being in active recovery, loving his (tim’s) work!
I too am fighting urges, I actually feel drained at times…
How come some days you can fight the urges fairly easily and others seem to be the biggest test of your life??? This gets me down from time to time as I find these days are near enough lost due to my ‘non gambling thoughts’, Dont get me wrong, I love not gambling but i seem to have days/weeks of being on a constant high and then this week I feel like I belong to be a gambler.
Anyhow, K, stay strong, the urges this weekend will be testing for you and your hubby, It might be an idea (if you havent already) explaining to your hubby how you are feeling about being able to gamble without the fear of getting slung out on your ear! HAve a lovely break and enjoy every minute of it…. YOU DESERVE ITPlayers do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!Hey all,
Well done for 40 days Kathryn, I think you are a very good example of someone that gets bad news and deals with it in a positive and proactive way. To be fair, had the same thing happened me, I am not too sure if I would have coped as well so well done, it is refreshing to hear your continued pledge to stay gamble free. I am sure there will be many people out there who will come up against difficult situations, I just hope they all (including me) can show the same level of bravery as you!
I am starting to think about gambling again and in my head I am justifying reasons why a weeeeee gamble would be OK. Its like I am having this argument and sometimes I think I am ok and sometimes the beast inside of me strikes a cord the sounds plausible…. I will keep thinking positive and posting here but I am concerned as to why I am thinking like this… to be fair, reading this thread and many many others help me seeeeeeeee sense….
Laters
AlPlayers do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!Its great that you have your eldest childs support K, I know many other kids that would have flipped. Its not an ideal situation and I cant start to think about how you must be feeling… all I can say is that you have seem to have a great network of friends and family to rely on which is great.. just keep remembering that one single gamble is not worth the pain and anger that you are feeling, I have been in situations were I have felt that by gambling, this could somehow hurt the ones that have hurt me!!! strange I know, end result was that I ended up the loser, not them. keep strong and remind yourself of this thread….. remember the title, GEEE, you should, you wrote it, "BELIEVE" Kathryn…
Players do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!All I can say to you is hang in there Kathryn, I too am lost for words (shock horror) I dont want this to sound terrible or insensitive but you must focus on you and your family , Its not ideal to have this going on in the background but its times like this that the gambling seems like a logical thing to do……… it isn’t, it might help you forget about everything that is going on for a while but you and I both know the final results.
geeeee, I think your life story is a film in the making K. I want a part………
good luck regardless, we are all thinking of ya…
AlPlayers do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!Hey Kathryn,
I hope everything is ok… I tried the ring thing last night but It didn’t work!!!!!!!!
The fact you are having a rough time and still not gambling is a testament to how well you are doing. I have been fortunate to have some very good experiences through-out my pledge to quit gambling for good but i am sure to come up against a few difficult obstacles over the next few weeks/months or years. I just hope that i have your courage to succeed…
Anyhow, I hope everything works out.
AlPlayers do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!Hey Kathryn,
isn’t it great that we (CG) can sit back and look at life in a different way now, as a gambler i had tunnel vision and thought of nothing else but myself and gambling…. As a ‘young’ 30yr old I now understand that there is more to life and gambling, reading your story (soap) I now apprecaite the simple things in life!
Keep it going, one day at at time, I know your family are proud of you but you have freinds on here as well that are also very proud of what you have done to date!!!! even me!
Good luck and keep eating those spuds ya girl yeeeeeee
AlPlayers do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!Hey Kathryn,
Its fantastic to see how many people you are connecting with, it goes to show you that YOU are making a difference both with you life and others. Keep up the good work and enjoy Miss Spears, you may well be nervous about visiting another state, somewhere were you have the ability to gamble should you choose but I honestly believe that you will do great! Funny story happened me last night on my way home, I walked into a manager from one of my old gambling dens, she was like, "hi Alan, I haven’t seen you in a while, we miss you, then muttered well, we miss your money" I was able to have that 15 sec convo and walk off with my head held high!
good luck everyone, I will not gamble today..Players do not continuously lose… They continuously nearly win!!