[suerodgers]

Ugh. The last 2 days have been pretty awful. My daughter who is a recovering drug addict has decided to adopt out her twins she had on the 21st of July. I feel so bad…. I hurt for her, I hurt for the twins and I hurt for her other two daughters I have been raising for the last 8 years. My father in law whom I am a primary caregiver to, today he cannot stand up unassisted or give himself his insulin shots or even feed himself, this is new for him, we’ve never had the not being able to eat or give himself shots. I’m scared. My husband is drinking so much now, I never really thought about it until today, my sis in law said he;s just not handling the death of his older brother 5 years ago or the fact that his dad is in such a state of decline well. He’s drinking to escape, and I never realized it. I’m so worried about everyone. I have no money so I HAVENT GAMBLED. Right now, if I could solve all these problems I would never even consider it again. Money wont help any of this. I’m just desperately trying to hang on right now. I guess I need to turn this all over to God. And maintain my abstinence from gambling. Gotta get my own head right before I can help anyone else.

[suerodgers]

Yayyy! Yesterday was day 3 in my attempt! Spent not 1 penny on gambling. Not even on a game at amusement park with grandkids. Of course things ran through my mind. We had a wonderful day! I really need this time away. Today were staying here at the campground hoping it warms up enough to go swimming building a fire and having s’mores tonight. I love my family so much. The thought of losing and being away from them is devastating. Know I’m going to have to “face the music” soon. But going to soak in every second of happiness I can until then so if things go really bad at least we will all have these great memories….. Just for today

[suerodgers]

Well day2. I did screw up yesterday and spent ten dollars. This gonna be soo hard. But today day is another day I suppose. Were on our way to take our grandkids camping and to amusement park for the weekend. Still not ready to tell hubby. But soon. I really don’t want to ruin the weekend for everyone.
I want to thank all of you for the encouragement and positive thoughts and advice. It made me feel not so alone and helpless for a change. Hoping from here I can draw enough courage to face the future. Just for today, I’m going to enjoy my family gamblefree and the joy and innocence of childhood. I pray this won’t be the last time we do this.Turning it over to the Lord for today ……

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