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Good luck and nice to meet you on here. I’m on 30 days currently, just one day at a time though or it can get overwhelming. Keep posting and good luck to you, you can do this.
Hey C…nice to meet you on here. Like others have said on here many times before. You have to admit you have a problem and need help. Then you have to get support and set up barriers to keep you from relapsing. Then it’s one day at a time. Good luck with your journey and keep posting.
If so…stay out of gambling places and stop with this gotta get lucky, do you have any secrets stuff. I think you may be on the wrong forum.
Welcome. Posting here can be your start to ending the madness once and for all. Admitting you have a problem and getting support is very important for your recovery. You are likely in a whirlwind of emotion and panic. That is normal, you are likely in a state of shock. All of us have been there in varying degrees. It will get better, don’t harm yourself over it. You are young, you have your entire life ahead of you. You have a child on the way. You are not going to win your money back, you have to just chalk it up to that money wasn’t for you, it’s the betting shops money now and that will never change. You are a compulsive gambler and CGs never win. Even if you hit a big win, you would have sent it all back plus some. First step is getting help and damage control, STOP THE BLEEDING, STOP DIGGING THE HOLE.
Now you can start repairing. Repair your relationships, show action by going to meetings and focusing on important areas in your life. Start making yourself better, maybe learn some new hobbies or get better at your occupation or learn a new occupation.
It’s not all going to be rainbows or roses and in the short run it’s going to be a struggle with plenty of tears and emotions but eventually you will start to feel a little bit better and day by day you can work through it. But for now just one day at a time. We have all been there, this is a very understanding group. Go to the helpline and chat with Harry. He was my first point of contact several weeks ago when I had a meltdown, he was very helpful. Go into group sessions on this site and connect with Charles, he is amazingly helpful. You can get out of this, life is better without gambling, you can make it. Best of luck and I’ll be following your progress.
Such a tough situation, I hope your conversation with the authorities can keep you and your family safe.
Just thinking about you Jagger, how’s things going?
Paul, I read several red flags in your response.
1. The anger and deflection of you questioning her.
2. Playing slots online for hours everyday, I would be shocked if she isn’t playing real money.
3. Her having 100% control of the finances to the extent you have no idea but you think you might be broke.
4. I agree with above poster about the fact that the first thing you write is about this potentially ending your marriage. IF she does have a problem, don’t you want to walk with her through the process of getting help and see her get better? And I’m not judging or casting any blame , just asking for clarification.Flo, I have been told here that a CG has to prevent one of these 3…Access, Time, or Money. The above poster made excellent points with the blocking software, that could help with SOME of the access issues. Are you in charge of the finances? Could you introduce some accountability with your significant other so he could see and have access to the accounts? Do you have some new hobby you could take up to help with free time? Maybe you and your husband could put the phones down during free time and enjoy watching a show/movie and strengthen your relationship without technology? Keep posting , keep getting support. If you truly want this to be your last relapse, you can do it. YOU CAN DO IT.
Welcome Paul. Some of what you write sends off warning signs and some doesn’t. A five week gap between casino visits doesn’t sound like a problem. Getting defensive and sleeping in the other room when you want to talk about it does seem a little off. What other details can you provide about the situation? The frequency of visits, changing behavior, financial gains/losses etc.
How are you doing Coaster?
Keep it up! Thanks for the kind and encouraging words today. I really appreciate it.
If you do that, try to win back the debt, you might succeed BUT what if you lose that first bet? Now you’re down 110k and you will wish you were only down 100k because you had accepted that number. So you beg borrow and steal and do another 10k and so on and so on. If you were that good at betting you likely wouldn’t be in the spot you are now, so the likelihood is for things to get worse instead of better.
Only you can decide what to do here BUT if you are a CG, you likely won’t stop even if you win back the full 100k. CG’s almost always end up in worse conditions if continuing to bet.
I think it’s time to make some hard decisions here. Are you admitting you are a CG in recovery and actively seeking support to stop the chase and help the addition OR are you actively persuing more gambling to fix your problems?