[stephenm]

No Prob. Chat later

[stephenm]

Hi Ya Monica, You couldn’t have said it better. The early stages of recovery is definitely the toughest with out question. When we stop ,we have to deal with the consequences and emotional ones too. I really don’t know what is going to happen in my relationship with my partner. Things are bad. I told her that i joined a Gambling therapy site, just to start with and she cut me off by saying ” the only person you need is to help yourself”. We have not spoken properly in a week. I know its all my fault. The only person to blame is myself. She is going out and not telling me anything. I cant control what she thinks or as you said wave a magic wand to make things better. All i can do at this point is make myself better. People here have always said get all help you can to make things better. Getting support from someone you love means so much when you are in dark place. Anyway I will let her make up her own mind. Maybe all the years of gambling have caught up with us in our relationship. I just hope things will get better overtime. Only time will tell. Look on bright side , I’m nearly one week gambling free and more to come. I didn’t know anything about the group Chat. I just clicked on the group chat icon on the top of the page and bingo there it was.The time and the red light…fellow the light…Only joking….So i just clicked on the group chat…I didn’t know what to expect and there i was in the group chat…The first thing that want through my head was ‘ O MY GOD’. where I’am I……I’m here say something…… How are you

[stephenm]

Hi Laura. It is so good to hear from you. Your right I’m completely stressed with worry. A gambler mind runs 24/7. I have looked in the mirror and I didn’t like the person in the mirror one bit.. A man who looks burnt out from gambling,A man who is completely stressed.A man who has no money and in bad debt with all the years he has worked very hard for. A man who has lied to cover gambling and to get money. The list goes on. I tell the person in the mirror that by gambling you hurt yourself and everybody else around you. Each day is hard at the moment because its such an early stage for me. Each day is painful and hurtful. Things will get better for the person in the mirror once he stays clean. Laura it would be haven if i got the money on Saturday……how are you doing…..Did you read the story about the person who works in the bookies…..

[stephenm]

Hi All. I’m back to work this Saturday and my week off has being nothing but a nightmare. No Money, My partner wont even talk to me. What a week. . Don’t know how I’m getting to work. I will not ask my family for anymore money. They have given me enough. This situation has happened because I put myself here. So I must think of a way to solve the situation.I’m getting 150 euro from a company i sold there product. I applied for the money before i left work last week.They give me the money on a master card. It normally takes a week or some times two. I really hope it is in work on Saturday…….It would mean so much to me at stage.Money for petrol….O please be there god. I have not gambled since Friday gone…..Its a big step forward in the right direction. Everybody has said put tools in place. So there are tools that I’m gonna use…..Thanks for everybody support and advice…..Ps if the money is not there just cry and think of something else….thats life i guess.

[stephenm]

https://www.problemgambling.ie/

Hi all. I came across some good stories online. One of wich a man worked in a bookies. Its in this link. Hope some people might get something from it. Sorry just to let people know click on blog on the top of the page. Its the last storey on the page. steve

[stephenm]

Hi. have a fantastic holiday with your family xxx.

[stephenm]

Hello I-did-it

I’m watching the semi final of the world cup. I know i have to help myself . They are good questions . How are you

xx

[stephenm]

Hello Kathryn, You are so right. I’m responsible for own recovery. What you have posted has opened up a huge question- What have I done to help myself -Thanks so much for
sending me this post. I really hope you are in a better place and your doing great. xxx

[stephenm]

Monica. I put up a post tonite to I-did -it. I didnt read much posts today. I’ll chat soon.

[stephenm]

Hi. I know its late but i wanted to reply to your post. With all my heart thanks for attempting to post me 3 times. This time last year i ended up in Cuan Mhuaire treatment centre in Athy. My mother and father was so proud of me for going into a treatment centre.At this stage my family.partner or people who supported me in work couldnt do anymore. I was in a very bad way. My mother had throat cancer at the time but she came to see me. 

The treatment she had to go through was horrific. She still had time for me and so did my family. They came all the way from bettystown to Athy to see me even when my mother was very sick.  When i came out of Cuan Mhuaire I stopped gambling for a few weeks but ended up back gambling. My family where trying to support my mother and i had the ddiction. The addiction of gambling. My addiction took my time with my mother away from me. Its taken time away from going down to see my family. Its taken time away from my son. It has taken time way from my partner. When you say the time is Now…Yoy are 100 per cent right. Time is everything when you love someone so much but addiction took that away from me.

You told me i can beat gambling……Your right. I cant make excuses about my mother passing away etc. I’m NOT trying to make excuses. I finally understand the amount of time a gambler spends gambling.I have gambled since i was 16 years old. Can i go into a treatment centre again…Not at the moment. I wouldnt be able. I do need help. When i went for a walk today I ended up in mountmellick church. I asked god to let me back in his heart. 

My brother phoned me on the way into the church. I told him Im in a bad place because of gambling and ill phone him later because im  just on my way into the church. I didnt phone him back. Ill phone him tomm and have long chat. 

[stephenm]

Hi. Thanks so much for the post. Just going for a walk. Will post later.

[stephenm]

Hi Moncia. I just feel ashamed and worthless today. Just thinking of the past and it hurts so bad.Started crying once or Twice. I’ll be ok. Just in a very bad place today. Just going for a walk. Talk soon xxx

[stephenm]

Hi Laura. good to hear from you. Hope your good. Ill talk soon in a bad place today

[stephenm]

It is going to be a very hard journey but a rewarding journey. For me my partner wont even help me. I know its not her fault. She is so hurt. She does’nt know what to do. I dont have any money to put in the car for petrol to go and see my son, my father or my brother.,so i can talk to someone. My partner is not talking to me. I don’t blame her. I have taken food out her mouth by gambling the money and the rest. Yes i would like support but as Laura said i need to gain support. Gambling has taken all this away from me. That is the reason why i must start
this journey…..To be with the people i love and to enjoy the beautiful life around me. I don’t see any of this at the moment and its going to take a very long time to make things
right. My head is about to spin off thinking. I feel sick since Friday.. I’m in a big black hole….there is tiny light in this hole called hope… The first thing i have to do is stop gambling to get to the light….How can this be done….How to stop gambling…Let all money you lost go….I know I wont get it back….the rest i don’t honestly know…..People here will help
me and i have to help myself bet this…The journey will do together and it will be hard. Talk soon

[stephenm]

Hi Monica, Well done. You have done brilliant in the last 11 months.. I hope you had a great time on your holidays. For the amount of work you put in you deserved it. Monica, I’m really in a bad place at the moment. I know it will take a lot of time and effort. Some one once told me- the way out is always the hardest road but the most rewarding- Your right Monica in your comments….I need to fight every inch of the way to get out of this dark hole…..

[Author]

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