[slotjunkie]

Well, i have to admit that i gambled again for money this time. Does not matter how much just that i gambled it. On facebook slots. So much going on in my head right that is all i am gonna post for now.

[slotjunkie]

Unfortunately i need to change my date. Next week when i see my counselor i am giving her my laptop. I will still have access to a computer at local library. I have been really thinking long and hard about my recovery. I think i have gambled with free slots most of my recovery. Used play the reel deal slots many years ago. It might be that I just cannot have a computer accessible to me at home. Well I am hoping this will be my last new date.

[slotjunkie]

I am glad you liked my post. It was homework from my group I attend for my gambling addiction. It is a very challenging and helpful in my recovery process.

[slotjunkie]

Thank you Velvet for the nice compliment. You have a good idea in your post. Maybe i could do the same with the trait that is opposite of fear.

[slotjunkie]

I was wrestling where I should post this blog. In poetry section or my journal. I finally decided on here. It is my description of fear. So here I go. FEAR-It looks like a very evil black mass. It has no real shape. It has very evil eyes. It’s stench is fowl smelling. The eyes seem to speak to me saying “I want to drain all the fearlessness out of you.” They also say, “I want to make you so afraid that you will not want to try anything new.” so there it is. It still has a hold on me, but not near as bad as it did when I first started working a good recovery.

[slotjunkie]

What has really worked for me in the past is phoning a member in gamblers anonymous. I once had an very bad urge to gamble on the way home from visiting my father. I go by the exit you take to get to casino. I had not yet banned myself. I talked with a very good friend for about 20 minutes and then went on my way to home. The very next time I saw that friend he helped me get banning papers signed and notarized and sent. So would definitely say that making that phone call really helped me.

[slotjunkie]

This is a great poem Vera.

[slotjunkie]

This is a great poem Vera.

[slotjunkie]

Well last Tuesday, November 4th, was election day here in usa. The residents of Massachusetts voted yes to a new casino in their state. Unfortunately for me it is only a 35 minute drive. So as I was saying in the group I was just in, I will have to ban myself from that casino when it opens. I have also learned this week that there is only 2 states that have not legalized gambling in here in usa. Hawaii and Utah. I never knew so few states did not allow gambling. Really blew my mind.

[slotjunkie]

I have again blocked more facebook slots. And this time I am I not adding them back in. Really need to get back to basics with no slots of any kind. Why I seem to like torture I do not know. I am going to hit a g.a. meeting tomorrow morning per usual. Hopefully I will be at some of the groups here after that.

[slotjunkie]

Did see you say when I first came in you banned yourself from a casino. what a great thing you did. I have done that with the two I used to visit in my state. That really keeps from going as I have never been jail and do not want to be in one because of my gambling. Also as I was looking thru all the posts it seems you have lost your mum lately. When my mom died my compulsive gambling was at its worst. It is hard but things will get better. It has been 10+ years. l be thinking of you. If you ever need someone to talk to I am here.

[slotjunkie]

I would be a radish because even though they are small in size they have lots flavor inside and add a lot to a salad just like recovering compulsive gamblers can do with their life.

[slotjunkie]

I have taken another positive step in my recovery. I have blocked all slot apps from my facebook account. Was thinking playing them was okay but i realize they just tempting me. I do not want to have to change my date cause they led me back to the casino. This should help me in my recovery.

[slotjunkie]

So i have started on a new phase of my recovery. I am starting to work on the financial part it. current bills not bills from gambling. It is gonna be hard for me to do this. Have never done this my whole life. Sorry for leaving group charles was in over-load about the stuff i was hearing. Recovery is going ok for me. If i could only handle the curves life throws at me i would be better. Seeing a new therapist for the first time. Also have had to get a new pshychiatrist as mind left practice.

[slotjunkie]

i know this is not about gambling but i really need to get this off my chest. Yesterday my sister took our cat Stanley to the vets. The vets found a mass in his belly. After a scan he found the mass was full of cancer. I was hoping to make the topic group but i was late. My recovery is going ok. I am still positive but really down bout my cat. Thank you for letting me post in here.

[Author]

Posts