[slotjunkie]

Ever feel liked you are doomed to fail at something? Well thinking that way about my recovery now. Maybe i was meant to gamble and control the damage it causes. I have failed everyone again. So i think i am gonna stay away from everything for a while til i can get my values straight and i am thinking right. Talk with everyone here as soon as i have that done. Hope everyone is doing better than i am.

[slotjunkie]

I am posting here to help my urge go away. Definitely need to not make the next bet one day at a time. Posting here is definitely has helped me know that not placing this bet is what I need to do. Glad I did this instead.

[slotjunkie]

Was asked today in a g.a. meeting, what was i going to do differently this time around. It was suggested that maybe i really never surrendered to my powerlessness over gambling. Upon thinking of my past years since i last gambled at a casino, i don’t think i ever truly stopped playing fake slots. Early on i bought c.d.’s and played them. I eventually gave all those away. Then I did also help an elderly lady scratch her instant lottery ticket. It took me a while to actually see that just the action of doing that was gambling. So now, here i am at another crossroad. I am going to read step one again and truly surrender to my powerlessness over my gambling addiction. I, truly believe when i do this i will be in a better frame of mind to really do my recovery much better this time around.

[slotjunkie]

Just left a support gruop and even though i was not there for the whole hour it helped me a lot. This week i feel like i went to the casino even though i did not go. Spent over one hundred u.s.a. dollars on facebook slots. This is not good for me. I am going to get back to my basic tools. I do not want to spend another penny on gambling for the rest of my life. But i intend to do it my taking it one day at a time.

[slotjunkie]

Hit wrong button on puter and did not make it back in time. have a good weekend.

[slotjunkie]

Instead of gambling i am posting here. Been a stressful day and really want to escape thinking about it. nothing much else to say.

[slotjunkie]

sorry i missed time limit charles. was researching something . wish there was a way i cuold get in there

[slotjunkie]

In a poster created by the problem gambling services of connecticut. It states that over half of inmates with gambling disorder report that their incarceration resulted directly from gambling-related crimes. Despite the prevalence of gambling and related problems, almost no one in the criminal justice system receives treatment for gambling. Also in the criminal justice system of the USA, alot of the compulsive gamblers that end of engaging in an illegal act to support their gambling, are given stiff penalties for their crimes. Drug addicts and Alcoholics are given an option to go to treatment instead of jail or probation (depending on severity of crime committed). But the justice system does not fully acknowledge that compulsive gambling is an addiction as well. They treat them like the people who commit fraud on wall street.

[slotjunkie]

Woke up this morning wanting to gamble. But instead of gambling i am posting here. This seems like the better choice. Made a pact with my gambling counselor that i want to keep. No gambling for a month. So i am not trying to do it, I am going to do it.

[slotjunkie]

I cannot seem to get a handle on my playing facebook slots. My I am just supposed to be this way. Better than going to real casino.

[slotjunkie]

After the support groups today, I really got pumped up. I blocked every slot site on my face book account. I am gonna start writing another journal of everything good in my life. Maybe in a month or so i will start working on my autobiography, which is at a difficult time in my childhood. I would like to thank everyone in the groups today. And, yes, that includes you p.

[slotjunkie]

I made it back home without going to the casino. woohoo me

[slotjunkie]

I made it successfully to my father’s house without stopping at the new casino. Now I need to ban myself as soon as I can. Promised a few people I would post sorry it’s not sooner

[slotjunkie]

So here i sit wondering how can i fix my insides so i can do the external things i need to do. Although i have come along way since i last went to the casino in 2005, I still find it easy to escape thru facebook slots and pay for tokens. I have done that this morning for the last time. I feel like such a hypocrite at times using the support groups and still gambling. It seems like i am either very upbeat or very discouraged. no happy medium for me. For the moment i am making a good decision getting to my morning g.a. meeting.

[slotjunkie]

Been away for awhile. Kinda got out of the routine of coming to g,t. site. Things are going the same for me these days. Not much else to say. I should be back in groups on Thursday and Friday but not sure.

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