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Let’s try and keep those things at the front of our minds: family, friends, jobs, things we enjoy doing. The REAL aspects of life: not the fantasies of winning loads of money. We know that this will never happen! If winning or losing have lost their ‘fix’ worth – then why are we carrying on? I can win £X of money – but I have definitely lost £X money same amount. All I am really doing is winning back the money I have spent. Why not just not bother to gamble it in the first place? I will have the same amount of money anyway? Just to get my ‘fix’ of gambling highs which dont even get me high anymore? It’s rubbish. It’s a waste of my life. It’s time to stop. Surely? And yet…why can I put £10 on a game and win £1200 which I did and so have you and everyone else and THAT’S why the gambling companies keep reeling us into their NETS!!!
Yes, I think I get what you are saying? It’s as though money has lost its real meaning – winning or losing its kind of the same? Is that what you mean? I think filling that void has long gone. I feel as though I am on auto pilot about gambling. I just have to do it. Win or lose. I dont care anymore. That’s why its so important to stop. life is going on around. We need to jump back in to reality. Otherwise its like being in some strange Scifi movie – reality has changed. Yes, I do work too and have a job. That keeps me sane I think!
I am at the beginning of the stopping journey vintagehoby. I cant event stop for one day at the moment. When I do try I find distractions work like watching a good film, going for a walk, anything really to try and take my mind off getting obsessive thoughts about gambling and acting on them. Also I have been trying wellness meditation apps – they seem to be quite good. It’s good that you stopped yourself getting more money from the ATM. The only thing I have done is cut down the amount I’m gambling. But that isn’t foolproof and I know that really the only way is to cut it out completely.
Hi Vintagehoby. Yes, you are very brave to be open about your relapse. Its part of our journey to relapse and get back on the horse again. You certainly are not on your own. I’m struggling to stop for 24 hours at the moment. Super well done for the length of time you managed to stop for. Have you managed to stop again now? I have been reading some interesting research about just how this addiction is chemical and that our brains become wired for gambling in a chemical reaction sense. That must be why it is so hard to stop. We have to start rewiring ourselves to stop producing the chemicals we produce when we gamble. I think thats the gist of the research? Maybe someone can shed some light on this. Anyway, keep going again. You are not alone.
This is such an inspirational post Risingphoenix! Wish I could summon up the courage to ‘come out’ as the gambler I have become. I am still unable to admit it to my nearest and dearest. I have come so close but lose my nerve at the last minute. I have had to be brave about other serious things in my life but this gambling addiction is still so strong in me. I just cant kick it. I pretend that I can ‘cut down’ but of course that is not really dealing with the addiction – it’s still succumbing to it. Do you feel like you are ‘living’ again? I feel that being addicted is numbing my life. I dont remember anything. I watch a film and cant remember it because all I’m really thinking about is when I can next gamble. It has taken over my life. For whatever reason I am allowing this addiction to drown me. I really want to stop now. Had enough.
Yes Relapsking – it is a poison. Well done for being 1 week gamble free! I’ve been experimenting with Mindfulness and although it hasn’t ‘cured’ me because of course its not going to do that(!) but it has helped me to stop and think before gambling. Have you tried it? Having that ‘money in the bank’ feeling is bliss – like a normal feeling. Its wonderful allotting money to paying bills etc and not planning where to gamble it. I really want to achieve just 1 week at the moment! Hang in there and very best wishes for 2022!
What I’m desperately trying to work out is, you know that terrible feeling ‘the morning after’ when you’ve gambled absolutely everything and there’s really nothing left. You know how awful you feel – letting yourself down, failing to fight the desire to gamble and yet we still do it. Almost in defiance of ‘that feeling’ of failure. We fly in the face of it. Yet – we still do it. How? Why? Am I that self-destructive. Yes, I must be. Because I would love to be the person that says “I’m on my ??? day of not gambling’. I want that feeling more than the feeling of desperation, hopelessness, weak mindedness, self let down…. Don’t I?
Hi Relapseking. I’m currently struggling with this scenario. I sincerely don’t want to be in that position – no money for presents etc. Feeling guilty, broke, desperate, pathetic etc. I’m going over the question: ‘Do I really want to be in this position for another year? How will I feel when I can go to a shop and buy presents etc as opposed to not being able to?’. I want this option so much. I’m trying hard not to relapse. Its a constant depressive scenario. I’m here too.
That’s fantastic Seanraj – wow 682 days! Well done! 🙂
Hi Craig. I’m just starting my journey too. I’m trying to make one small change every day. I like your one day at a time approach. This addiction is way too big to deal with in ‘big chunks’. I’m trying to not let it occupy my mind – like you. I’ve tried to spend money on something that is positive/good for my soul/productive anything basically that is not gambling related. Even a small percentage of any money I have which may have gone to gambling I’m trying to spend this way. Then at the end of the day I can look forward to the positive thing I bought with my money. Keep going Craig.
Thanks Mike B. I’m reading posts on these forums and it’s a complete revelation. It’s hard to be honest with yourself tho isn’t it – I’m really trying to give myself a good kick up the backside and keep it real. Trying to live in the reality of gambling loss and debt. Not fading into fantasy of winning against a randomly produced set of numbers created by a computer algorithm!
I’ve just joined and am amazed at how you are all talking so openly – you are all so brave. I’ve only just admitted to myself, after 4 years, that I have a serious gambling addiction. I’m scared at the prospect of letting go of it but I MUST.
Charles it’s so hard feeling guilty and just not being able to do anything / it sits inside and festers. I’m in the place where I can’t tell my partner/family. I’m so ashamed and guilty.