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Hey Craig – my ‘rock bottom’ was that I couldn’t afford a birthday present for my Mum. I had to borrow money to buy her a present. That was one of my motivations to stop gambling. This year I had the money to buy her stuff and do other things for her. It was a great feeling. I never want to go back to that dark place again. Keep up the good work Craig. Next year you could buy your daughter all the presents you couldn’t this year.
One day at a time. Keep going. You can do it.
Also, on my Outlook calendar I put a Red dot on the day I stopped. I made it repeat every week and I felt a great sense of achievement every time I got to the red dot on my weekly diary. I still do. That was a big motivation for me at the beginning of my stopping gambling journey.
Hi Craig – great to see your positive post. Keep that positive approach. I have been gamble free for exactly 1 year. Like you, I keep busy with ‘stuff’. I also like to have a little bottle (imaginary bottle I mean!) of those terrible feelings ‘the next day’ after a gambling binge.
No money/Can’t pay for anything
Self loathing
feelings of helplessness being so addicted to gamblingThe list goes on and of course we all feel differently.
So this bottle has all that stuff in it.
I never want to open it again.
I don’t ‘throw’ it away tho because it’s part of me. Yes it did happen. Yes I was totally addicted to gambling and I’ll prob be paying off my debts for ever.But I can never open that bottle again.
As each gamble free day passes that bottle becomes more tightly sealed.
Meanwhile I can breathe and move on with my life.
You CAN do it too Craig. One day at a time
Hi Ax9722. Appreciate and totally relate to your post. You are in a hellish, lonely place. The lying is the worst element – it compounds every negative emotion that gambling evokes. But – you stopped for a while and you can stop again. Try to hold on to the positive experiences you had when you stopped. Take one day at a time. All we have is today/now focus on getting thru today. Be kind to yourself because you are not alone. We’ve been there too.
Also I buy myself something at the beginning of every month as a kind of congratulation pressie! Just something small but significant:) because if I was still gambling I’d have no money to do that.
Well done Craig! Imagine how you’d feel if you were posting month 2 or year 2? I put a reminder on my calendar at the beginning of every month and I’m watching those numbers stack up! Keep going one day at a time 🙂
Craig – I hope this day has been positive for you. It’s a new/fresh start and you CAN sustain your positive mindset. I have been 9 months gamble free and each day I stay gamble free is a wonderful feeling. Give yourself the permission to experience the opposite of gambling nightmare. You can do it – one day at a time.
Rising you continue to be an inspiration. ‘That Dreaded Moment’ has now happened to me. I’m busted and it happened accidentally- I didn’t have the balls to admit my gambling addiction and debts to my family. Thru a serious of events outside of my control the truth about my hidden secret has come out. I’ve lived in fear for 5 years. But you know I’m now relieved and I actually feel like I can breathe again.
I have to deal with reality of repaying my debts in the open.
I’ve taken advice from my accountant.
I’ve been honest with my family.
I’ve been hi with myself.
All that’s left is to actually stop gambling – forever…….,,,,Following…….if I had thousands and thousands to pay off my debts I would probably gamble it. The more I have the more I gamble. I cant control myself. When I’m most down from the horrors and effects of my gambling I want to gamble more….its like an advancing army that just won’t stop. I cant see an end.
Hi Richv and jrv3419. My story is so similar – the more stressed I feel about life events the more I gamble and get self-destructive. I know I mustn’t spend the money I cant afford anyway to gamble and yet I just cannot stop. I’m helpless. It spirals out of control. No amount of self control is enough. If I limit my gambling and feel controlled it seems to ebb away when ‘life’ comes up to bite me. I know that the only way to stop is to cut out the gambling completely. But I feel powerless and scared to take this decision. Its like taking a step back in time to when I didn’t gamble. Its scaring the crap out of me that I am no so reliant on it.
Hi Risingphoenix That’s great to hear! Yes I’m trying to occupy my mind with positive stuff and keeping busy too. I notched up a \ today! 🙂
Hi risingphoenix – what do you do to boost up your strength to stay away? It is exhausting trying not to be tempted and keeping up this continuous fight to not get sucked back into the gambling vortex. I’ve just managed to do 4 days in a row staying away but crumbled last night. I’m keeping tabs with a \\\\ type day count on my computer. I’ve put a 0 in for last night but hope to rack up some more \ marks this week. 🙂 One day at a time!
I need to get just 1 DAY under my belt. Cant even do that at the moment. Its obsessing in my mind all the time. Feel sick of this compulsion but too weak to stop!
Thank you for your post ‘wewinwhenwedontplay’. Even your ‘name’ has made me think – it speaks volumes. I practiced it last night. Typical situation: had some money in; tried to rationalise NOT spending it….but then the demons started creeping in. Of course I would only spend a small part of it…..then the small part would become the whole amount and then I’m back to square 1. No money. Emptiness emotionally as well as financially. But I read your post and it DID make me think twice. I’m hanging on to the logic of WEWINWHENWEDONTPLAY. Just keep that logical focus for as long as possible I say to myself. Keep holding on. Tomorrow does come and with it we can made fresh starts. 🙂
Losingitslowly – it’s a constant rollercoaster that thunders up & down. One minute I can feel strong and dedicated to stopping and the next minute I’ve gambled money that was needed for an important thing. I actually despair that I’m so weak. I did it last night. So angry and upset with myself.