[SinusDD]

Maybe one more thing – @risinghoenix: you can be proud of yourself. It’s one thing to promise but another thing to stick to that. I read some of your posts and it seems you are dealing with it in an extremely genuine and self reflective way. I want to follow this example. So far, everything in my life was abut self confidence, you can do this, you can do that, win or learn bla bla. I think I need to return to the basics really.
Thanks for your support 🙂

[SinusDD]

That’s absolutely right – I actually have been trying to stop for many many years. Very often, I have lost, self excluded myself, told myself I quit and restarted.

You know how easy it is – although I like the idea of building high fences, you can still climb over them afterall.

It’s day 5 now, what seems like a small step. We will see where it goes. It seems my emotional commitment is high this time, I also use a „I am sober app“, that provides some nice quotes and tracks savings, maybe this is going to work. I try really hard.

[SinusDD]

You can do this Dark Energy. I have done cds and forex as well. Done that, been there. Keep it up

[SinusDD]

Thanks Jim,
I appreciate your encouraging words. It’s day 3 now. I keep reading other peoples diaries, and it kind of completes my own story a bit. I don’t know if I can do it but i really need to get my life under control again.

I did the maths yesterday and the amount and time I spent on gambling is just mindblowing. I spent years and a fortune, all in exchange for an illusion, lies and sadness. I just hope I can manage my emotions and feelings better in the future. It all seems easy as I am writing this, but the moment these thoughts kick in, they are so hard to stop. Sometimes impossible to stop.

[SinusDD]

All

I read a number of threads today in this forum. It seems there are so many commonalities: even if your first bet is a win, it turns out to be a loss and that it ends in lies and sadness, for many in loneliness, something i have felt many many times for years

Maybe it’s weird to say that: I always loved that feeling to be successful with the gambling, it never lasted long tho until the losses kicked in. The end is miserable, but the problem is before. Only a day now

[SinusDD]

Happy – and I hope i wont come across anything as painful as relapsing again. I keep reading some of you guys stories and it’s helpful to know that some guys share the pain. Keep up guys, cheers to you all, day 10.

[SinusDD]

thank you Vera, I appreciate it. It’s day 4 now – and I keep reading some of the stories…it looked like I am not alone with this challenge. It also keeps me reflecting on what is actually the problem of a compulsive gambler. I always Feld shame… on day 1 and 2…but then all that was washed away and it did not hurt to just try again. It’s great to not be alone and be open about it…i am looking forward to many more days like this.

[SinusDD]

Day 2. I started a new job since I came back from Overseas – so I am catching up on a couple of things that happened while I was away. My colleagues have some interesting things going on, will be good to see how I fit in. I thought about the losses of yesterday, lost about 700 euros in a couple of hours – it really hurts but it’s only the top of the iceberg. Fortunately enough I never made any debt, but I literally have no savings what really sucks. It sounds stupid but day 2 is never a problem, the shame and frustration is still fresh…but the conscious brain forgets quickly. it was cool to read some of the stories in other threads – it seems a lot of people are fighting very hard, and it’s good to not be alone.

[SinusDD]

Thank you for your kind words. I think what pulled me back is carelessness (if that makes sense). The moment I got cash in, the thoughts go around gambling – it’s like a robot that switches on. I will follow your advice about th money. I am not in the UK, i am a German national.

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