[shelly5]

Last night as I reading thru this thread, I was thinking that maybe I should let him read this. Is that a good or a bad idea? I really don’t think that he has a clue how much this really upsets me, and makes me feel inside.

[shelly5]

I know that I need to hand this over to God, and I know that I can’t change him. Home life is stressful as I don’t want to talk to him. You can feel the tension in the air.
I realize this a vicious cycle that has repeated itself over and over again .

[shelly5]

Today isn’t a good day. The gambling problem hasn’t gotten any better. I try hard to deal with it–well maybe I just try to ignore it. Yesterday my husband had to go out of town on business, and in the back of mind I knew that meant he would go to a casino. Unfortunately I was right. I got a phone call in the afternoon from asking me if I minded if he took out $160.00 and went to the casino. I said what do you think. Of course I don’t want you to go. Then he started making a deal. If I go to the Casino I promise not buy any scratcher tickets for the next two weeks. By that time I was already upset. I just said do whatever you want to do. Your 51 years old and you can make your own decision. Well his decision was to go to the Casino. (Huge surprise there!) I am done trying to stop him. I have no control over the addiction. I’m just going to let him do whatever he wants. I wanted so bad to just leave last night. I feel trapped in a vicious cycle.

[shelly5]

Life is like a rollercoaster with it’s ups and downs. Living with GC can really suck. Just when you think that things are getting better it goes downhill. I just need to get over being mad and sit down and talk to him. Not that it does any good, but I have to have some hope! Everyone tells me to not get mad, but I can’t help but feel that way. I feel ANGRY , MAD, HELPLESS, and depressed. I just want him to know that and acknowledge how much he hurts me!

[shelly5]

Honestly being able to post here is really helping. I have to let this out. Just knowing that somebody else care really means the world to me . Our daughter’s are all adults in there 20’s, and they are aware that their Dad likes to gamble. They know that I don’t like it. My brother also knows and he can see it. He lives in another State so we don’t get to see him much. My husband’s family knows that he likes to gamble, but they aren’t concerned about it. He just went to Florida in October to visit his Mom and they went to a Casino together. He went to two Casino’s on Illinois and one in Iowa. He won money at the one in Iowa, so it just fueled his desire. Of course he get’s excited when he wins, but I don’t! I know that the Win will only make him to gamble again!!
After our talk last night he’s been pretty quiet around me. I already feel alone, and this doesn’t help. I guess this is part of the vicious cycle of gambling.
Today he stopped by grocery store to pick up some things he needed and he said he bought 2 scratcher tickets. After the conversation we had last night it really felt like a slap in the face. I’m sure in his mind I’m just being unreasonable and I don’t understand. I don’t understand that he really enjoys gambling. He thinks he’s making changes and it’s just not good enough for me. I just can’t seem to get him to understand how concerned that I am and how I want him to quit!! I then start to doubt myself and I think that it’s partially my fault. I start thinking that maybe I’m being unreasonable. I sometimes would like just runaway, but in reality I would never do that! I guess I just want a break from reality!
Thank you again for this group!!

[shelly5]

Thank you for responding to my posts. I love reading them. I have nobody I can talk to. I could talk to my kids and my brother, but I don’t see how that would help. It might help me to get it off my chest, but my husband will still be the same. ‘
My husband has made some changes. I have control over the bank account. I put $100.00 in his account weekly. That’s supposed to be his spending money. Well I didn’t realize until a couple of days ago that he was buying scratchers with it. I told him that I was going to drop it down to $50 a week from now on. Or leave it the way it is and he has to use it for cigarettes too. He thinks that he’s doing so much better.
He said something last night that really didn’t sit well with me at all! He said I just won’t tell you when I gamble so that you don’t get upset. I told him that I don’t want a marriage like that. I don’t want to hide things from each other. I don’t think a married couple should hide anything from one another.
I will go back and re-read everything and read other posts, so that I can learn to help myself. Thank you again for allowing me to vent my feelings.

[shelly5]

Velvet thank you for replying. I really appreciate it. We had a talk tonight and it I got pretty emotional. He said he doesn’t want to stop gambling. He said he enjoys it. He thinks because he isn’t spending as much as he was that he’s doing better.
As far as the trip to Las Vegas his company has no idea that he gambles. He would never tell them that he can’t go because of his gambling, because he doesn’t think he has a problem. He’s going to go and he’s going to gamble and that’s the bottom line. It doesn’t matter that I don’t him to.
I’m so mentally drained tonight. I feel so blessed that I have place to vent. Thank you!!

[shelly5]

Thank you for your advice. It always makes me feel better and encourages me. I asked him to get on this site and check it out.
He has to go to Vegas for work. It’s a big Education Fair for his job. He’s been there in the past and we usually decide how much he’s going to take for gambling. (Usually over $1000.00) In the past he burns thru in a couple of days and calls home wanting more! I usually feel guilty and give him more. One time I didn’t and he took out a cash advance on our credit card. To say I’m not looking forward to it is an understand statement!
I asked him to sit down with me tonight so that can talk. Thank you again for all the advice and encouragement.

[shelly5]

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. I just had an argument with my husband about gambling. It seemed like things were getting better. I found out today that he’s been buying scratcher tickets. Then I found out today that in February he’s going to Las Vegas for work. I really thought that is time he was going to change. I guess in reality I had doubt. It’s hard to believe someone who has made so many broken promises over the years. Is there ever going to be an end! I do love my husband with all heart and soul. I just wish I could magically make this thing go away! Thanks for being here to listen.

[shelly5]

Thank you for writing. I have really learned a lot since joining. I have a lot to think about including how I feel.

[shelly5]

My husband is heading back from Florida. He went to the casino twice while on vacation and he bought a few scratcher tickets. He promised me that he would call the Gambling Hotline. He finally did today while traveling and he said it wasn’t very helpful . He said the lady that he was talking sounded like she just woke up. I don’t think he got much out of the conversation. I told him that he should consider joining this group. He needs support and help.
Thank you!

[shelly5]

I’m pretty sure that his Mom knows how I feel about this gambling. I tried talking to her about it and she just shut me down. I know that talking to her isn’t an option.
He wants to go there to see her, because he doesn’t get to see her that much. We live in different States. Plus she isn’t getting any younger. I don’t begrudge him going there to see her.
Thank you for understanding what I’m going thru. I gave him the number again to the Gambling hotline and asked him to please call. I sure hope he does. Thank you again!!!

[shelly5]

Things were going pretty good for a while, but I’m worried that he’s going back to his old ways. Last week he said he bought 2 scratcher tickets and this week he said he bought more. Of course I’m upset and very concerned. He’s leaving tomorrow to go in Vacation by himself and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about him gambling. After all he’s going to visit his Mom and she’s a pretty big gambler herself. If he does I will be very hurt and upset.
He still hasn’t called the helpline, but I will keep encouraging him to do so. After all he promised that he would, and I’m hoping that he will honor it.

[shelly5]

I need some advice.  My husband agreed to call a gambling helpline.  He was going to call today, but he said he didn’t because he didn’t know what to say.  I told that I’m sure most people don’t know exactly what to say.  Should I keep encouraging him to call?
 

[shelly5]

I just went back and re-read some of the advice that I have received.  To my surprise it all starting to make sense.  I

[Author]

Posts