[Seanraj4731]

Good day all. Yesterday i will tested by my soon to be exwife she was on my case abt gambling pretty much annoying me. I quickly left the home and took a walk. I passed three of the bars with the roulette where i used to go whenever i wanted a quick thrill or to chase after the losses. Now i rise above that and walked passed. Its almost a month GF i want to thank everyone on this forum on the tread for their time and effort it took for them to be here giving account of their mindset.
Onwards on the path of self worth. Keep positive. Renew thy mind for this is a new day

[Seanraj4731]

Good day ryan the only way for me now is to keep active to be engage in things that is gonna be an investment for a better future financially. Time is now. So step by step day by day each moment i am planning keeping myself busy to distract my mind.rewiring the mind constantly. So use the tool u have and work on them goal you gonna accomplish brother. Keep positive stay focus.

[Seanraj4731]

Good day all its a lovely thursday here in trinidad the sun is out the atmosphere is cool. Today my son and i are buying a new tyre for his bmx bicycle i showed how to take the wheel of bike and took the tube of. So i am keeping my mind fully occupied with activities. After which we will go out for riding on the bike. We are gonna keep our mindset in productivity mode. To uplift share and encourage others to get back their lives. I spoke to a new home owner on how he went about constructing his new home. He was very kind to tell me everything from scratch from foundation to presently. Materials purchase advise on choosing good builders. He told me to check him any time for advise. I was so thankful for that information. He told me to go into his home and take a look. I am a total stranger to this guy he dunno who am i yet he trusted me to take a look however the experience of getting good advise was really appreciate his wife and kids were also there. They were renting for over 14yrs and now they have a home for this new decade. I am renting 3 yrs nw and i gonna start to build my new home. Keeping my mind active and rewired for better future for myself
Stay positive. Keep on keeping on

[Seanraj4731]

Happy new GF year 2020. You are here and you have recognize this habit and now you gonna make that change. Now this change You Going to attain…. you got to repeat it daily I Am GOING to be free…. I am GOING to start living my best life now and moving forward. Yes what is …. IS.. Time is now time for you to rewire refocus renew reprogram your mind. What methods are you using to be GF for 3days. Keep at it continue living in your moments. Life is yours to live live in the moments. Yes you are gonna clear up all your debts. I have closed off one of my loan this year to keep my mind focus of attaining self worth. Its blessing to have a perfectly healthy body & mind. Stay positive. You can follow my tread. Until we chat again. Leave out all the rest….. live now your life is meant for greater things. Keep it up bro. You got this. I am rooted for you. Thank you and continue posting on your tread and reply to by journal.

[Seanraj4731]

Happy new GF new life of a gf decade 2020 onwards. Thank you for being an inspiration. Plz change “I will” into ” I AM GOING TO….”

ITs rewiring of the mind daily. Jane how do you deal with one of your love one that only reminds you of the gambling that was done and constantly nag you. My new year started like that with my soon to be ex wife. Smh. She is determine to make me feel guilty and i ask for forgiveness she hasnt. Sad. But i am gonna rise above this. I am concern abt my son leaving me and not be able to grow up without a dad. That is one major dent in life i faced as a result of this habit. Jane thank you for following my tread 

[Seanraj4731]

Congrats and please continue on your pathway of self worth. Thank you and do have a wonderful GF life and year 2020!
7 weeks is great continue doing what you are doing for those 7 wks onwards. Congrats

[Seanraj4731]

Lets celebrate the very awesome life we are living this new moment onwards brother. New year NEW: mindset; Way of thinking; Lifestyle;Thought patterns; freedom to live our renew lives; blessings and importantly Health!!! 

Thank you Stephen i am gonna continue treading the type of self worth on the forum. It is the key to break free off that habit. Renewing your mind and rediscover your self worth.

I thank you brother. Stay positive always. Love conquers all. Peace and love bro!

[Seanraj4731]

Good new years day to all Day27

As i step in 2020 with good health and a sound mind i am gonna keep a positive attitude. The be attitudes Reflect on the teachings of the Christ. Be the light that shines onto the path of darkness. Lets us as journey along life continue to enjoy life by rediscovering our renewed mindset for 2020. Think refocus rewire constantly new words ideas that fills your mind with that positive energy to influence changes to yourself and others close to you. Lets us bond and unite in this quest to gain financial freedom create new thoughts and discuss ways of having a enjoyable life. I am thankful for this awesome website to visit and read this emotion of ppl who are gonna be themselves before that first bet. The mindset where money time and more importantly health are more valuable! Thank you all who supported and encourage me on this forum i am humble and sincere for all the comments made. For my heart and mind is healed and is rebooted in a new diminesion wave in thinking. Betterment, strong possibilities, positive outcomes, financial growth and security perfectly good health awesome life freedom and yes helping and giving back to those who in need of help. We all are gonna give back it is better to give and the more you give the more you start living. Life is your gift that keeps on giving make the best of it. Perfect example shown and taught by the life of The Christ.

[Seanraj4731]

Bless day to all. Happy ole years day. A day to reminisice just alittle abt your reflection of 2019. Keeping track of our minds. Our thoughts during 2019 here on this forum. I am truly grateful for being here each and everytime to read the thoughts on self recovery and self worth. Keeping track of my progress. Wow i am GONNA be living a glorious life from now until… i got positive energy vibes just flowing throughtout my entire being. My mind is constantly being rewired renew each moment i am alive. I am very thankful for just being who i am now and thinking of each new moments of living life gracefully. Wow what an amazing feeling to feel. Thank you all for reading my tread. Onwards into 2020 GF…. keep the focus only on healthy habits and healthy minds. Stay focus on self worth. Be rediscovered by the renewing of thy minds. Be free. Be thankful. Have beautiful attitudes. I thank you.

[Seanraj4731]

So give me reason To prove me wrong To wash this memory clean Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes Give me reason To fill this hole Connect the space between Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies Across this new divide There was nothing in sight But memories left abandoned There was nowhere to hide The ashes fell like snow And the ground caved in Between where we were standing And your voice was all I heard That I get what I deserve

[Seanraj4731]

How are you doing man. Staying positive always. I understand your frustration at this time having litte or no cash. I feel that pain bro i have been there many times broke n despair. I know you gonna recover and keeping positive each day on this site hs helped both of us thus far let us keep encouraging each other on our path of self worth.

My wife has all of family in south africa she havent seen them going on 9yrs. So she haz made plans to start over bk at her home. 

I am gonna face this decision and rise above it.

Thank you ryan. You are an amazing person.

[Seanraj4731]

It was also great to see you on the chat.have  a bless day. Happy new GF 2020 

[Seanraj4731]

Thank you brother. I appreciate the comments made. You are an amazing person. Bless new year to you man GF!!!!!

[Seanraj4731]

1:43am Monday morning… unable to fall asleep. I visited my mom on 29/12/2019 in the neighborhood i grew up . In 2016 i moved out with my family to rent in a apartment a few miles away from where i lived, due differences betwen my mom and lee my wife.

I met “child” a childhood friend we spoke ketchup on stuff and i told him abt the divorce. And i will be moving back to my house with mom. He was taken aback by the news. I told briefly abt my what happen didnt mention gambling i told i am recovery addict that brought abt the divorce. Child asked and what abt small man i told him he will be going to south africa with his mom since my mom is unable to take care of him while i am in work. I told him i am not fighting it. And i am agreeing to everything to what lee wants. Child has choosen to live a single lifestyle. Reason is unknown all he said was “he cyar with ppl problems”. I told him i cyar live like that with that i left.
I went over to Andys barber shop and got a mark. I told andy plans to move back by my mom and to begin a new home construction. He reply that renting is dead money and i reply i am getting a divorce. He asked abt what happening to my son i told him he is going to sa with his mom. He stated to choose a good contruction skilled  man to do the home construction. I told him when everything is settle we will discuss further.

Now i am awake cant sleep with the reality of not being able to guide and correct my son behaviors and to develop better attitudes. Since lee and him do have alot of tension between themselves. One moment they are having fun together wrestling each other on the bed watching youtube videos and making snapchat photos and videos. While all that is happening i would leave them alone i dont be involved because i like my peace of mind. Suddenly an big arguement would start between them when i inquire to what is going on lee would said to me he is being disrespectful and when she tells him to go to his room he would start shouting: “i doh wanna see you ever again i am going kill myself” I spoke to my son a couple of times abt that type of behavior and he tells me he is stressed out. He is 7yrs old! I told my therapist abt this and she told me to bring him in for counseling. My nxt appointment date feb 06th 2020. I am faced a dilema. Should i fight for my son to stay with me or let him go to sa? To get a better life there? To learn a strange difficult language afkrican when he is still learning english? How would he cope being without me being there for him? Would lee pay more attention to him? Or simply create new tension. I will speak to my wife abt this and hear what type of methods will best be applied.  

I take my son to the playpark to play cricket football and get some excerise as well. He eats alot like his mom. A bad habit. I talk abt it and it response i get is that is their bodies and not mines so back off!. I am eating healthy; less meat less flour more veggies peas salad cucumbers fruits and plenty of water. But this xmas i admit i had cheat meals. I gonna stick to eating healthy and focusing on self worth.

I taught him abt Proverbs 15:1. Explain to him that scripture verse. He was feeling upset abt it and i reassure him that i love him and i do care abt him. I am gonna set up a saving plan for him starting in jan 2020 for university or what ever he desires at his 18yrs. Gambling really messed up my life my wife throws the negative remarks abt getting money back frm the casinos and the women it have there. She would say these things in front of our son. Smh!

I lying in the bed with lee and after 9yrs of marriage i dont feel comfortable at all. Knowing the hurt and resentment cause by gambling addiction.

I am 25 days GF. I feel awesome despite the consequences faced in the coming days towards the 27/01/2020. Divorce hearing at the high court. I am deep in thoughts and i thought abt journaling all of it. I need to it helps me reflect. During in my teenage years I kept a journal to help myself. I wrote short stories and drew comics strip in 1997. It help my mind to be sane. Wow i did alot of editing on this. Thank you for taking the time out to read this. I do appreciate all who comment and follow my tread. Thank you so much. Lots of love.

[Seanraj4731]

24 days GF.

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