[Sean1979]

A really good day in work today. Recently, I’ve been helping a lot of my colleagues when they have been struggling and I was thanked in a number of ways today that were very touching especially from junior members of staff. It is the smallest thing that can make you feel on top of the world and they cost nothing to give or receive!

I’m positive, i’m strong and i’m now starting to look at myself in the mirror again. I’m beginning to make a new start for myself and it’s very exciting especially with the summer fast approaching. I love pottering about in the garden, buying new garden things and being in the outdoors which is a complete contrast to sitting in-front of a 3.5″ mobile phone or 15.5″ laptop screen gambling my life away.

I watched Barcelona FC tonight for the first time in absolutely ages without having a bet on the match and it was very enjoyable although I did get a twang of what if… especially given the last 5 or 6 minutes. I must admit that the twang lasted a millisecond and it was over before it had begun.

As i’ve written previoiusly, this journal is helping me in ways I had never thought possible and I genuinely look forward to updating each day.

Thanks again for reading,

Best wishes

Sean

[Sean1979]

I must admit Geordie that I’m taken aback by the time you have taken to put together your message to me and I’m very grateful for your time. I didn’t expect anyone to read my profile let alone reply so I thank you for the energy and passion you have afforded me so far.

Recovery is a broad spectrum and how each individual sets-out their recovery stall and manages each aspect of their recovery is pertinent to them. I have chosen the path to my recovery to be that of making money and I am even more determined to make this a success by investing my time and effort into something I feel I can learn about and make money from. I’m not adverse to trying new things to occupy my time for instance I’ve learnt a language, I’ve written a film, and completed numerous short courses on a variety of different subjects. You are right, the money has indeed gone, but, there’s no harm in trying to ‘win’ it back by other methods.

The root cause of my gambling was a want to provide a little something extra for me and my girlfriend. That little something extra soon turned into that little something lost. The consequences of this loss was a deterioration in physical and mental health. I feel each day I have spent away from gambling has improved my mind, body and spirit and I’m sleeping better now. I know it’s early days but I’m feeling good, strong and positive about my future. My recovery will not just be about making money it will also be about doing the things I neglected more often like visiting friends and family and going to different attractions locally that I haven’t yet been to.

I have read and dissected your messages and I have certainly not dismissed your advice or opinions as I would be foolish to do so. Getting on my case has not been a waste of time Geordie, believe me it really hasn’t, it’s allowed me to reflect on myself, my partner and our future. I’m guilty of making wrong decisions, yes, but just like my gambling losses I have to forget about them and begin to build-up my Lego tower with the strong foundations I hold dear which is peace, love and understanding.

My turn around and my determination to succeed is underway and if I’m the first gambler to decide to address this terrible addiction by aiming to make money and not get drawn back to gambling then I’m ready and willing to share my secret – at a price, ha ha!

Thanks again, you will not be forgotten.

Best wishes

Sean

[Sean1979]

Not a bad day today, I’ve been around positive people and I know I have the willpower to overcome this devastating period of my life. I’m reading a lot about how successful people have made their money and it was through sheer hard work and dedication, not by gambling which makes me feel something of a mug really. I feel that in my professional life I have achieved to some degree and that I can use transferable skills I have in my day time job to address my gambling issues.

I have a strong desire this time around to win at life and this can be partly achieved by not gambling.

I am very grateful for this site at this time and I appreciate everyone’s comments.

Best wishes

Sean

[Sean1979]

Geordie – thanks for your comprehensive message, I’ll try and reply to your comments fully:

Is it such a bad thing to want to channel my energy into making money and recouping my losses than to wallow in self pity? If a child knocks over a lego tower and it breaks the next thing they do is to build it back up again. Am I not allowed to want to build up my cash tower again? I am merely trying other avenues to get back money I’ve spent on gambling.

I know I have a problem, I’ve admitted it myself and joining this site is a start. I have to start somewhere. I’m not lying to anyone and I’m not lying to my girlfriend I’m just not giving her the life she deserves at present.

As for recovery, diversionary methods or activities are key to relapse prevention and a keen desire to want to invest my time and energy into wanting to make money is not such a bad thing as long as I can do this appropriately. It may be that I can make money and involving my partner at every stage so that she can keep tabs on profit and loss margins. This could be a drastic change in thinking for me as previously I was spending money in ways that have been detrimental to my existence.

I’m in a good positive place at present especially as it’s day three of not gambling and I’m beginning to be realistic with my efforts towards getting rich quickly. I’m not an entrepreneur nor am I suitably positioned to make money creatively because I’m very black and white. Creative sparks just don’t fly off me, ha ha!

I’m delighted that you have taken such time and effort to respond to one of my posts and for that I am eternally grateful.

[Sean1979]

DNcanada – thanks for your comment. We’ve all been there thinking a little extra credit will make everything rosy in the garden once again, sadly it doesn’t. Getting my debts consolidated really did help me massively and I am now safe in the knowledge knowing that I can repay what I’ve spent.

[Sean1979]

Charles – thanks for reading my updates and thanks for your your message. My employment is 9am – 5pm and I am paid approx £30k. I have earned every penny I have to date as I left school at 18 and walked into a job the very next day. I have been unemployed only twice for 2 and 3 weeks at a time otherwise I have always held down employment and at one time I had 5 jobs when I was at university. Hard work and the benefits of doing so was instilled in me from a young age and I continue to work hard at everything I do. I have always occupied my time doing something rather than nothing and at present I have the mind-set that I can put my energies into something other than gambling to get back the losses I have made gambling. I have a payment plan agreed with a debt consolidation service and financially I am pushed, but, I can eat and my debts remain unnoticed to my partner. I want to make money to pay extra towards my debts so that these are paid off sooner. I have considered downloading software to block gambling sites but this is something i’m not prepared to do especially on a shared computer/laptop. Thanks for your message it really helps to know that someone is reading.

Day 2
I’ve not had any urges today but this is probably linked to knowing that I don’t have any money to gamble with. Historically, i’ve never liked gambling on a Monday so I know it sounds a bit weird but it’s never took my interest.

I read on another person’s journal last night that they were living a nightmare and each day was difficult to get through. My nightmare is that my days are full of my mind asking me ‘How am I going to get this money back?’. I can’t move on, I can’t get past this dread at the moment of not knowing how I can get money to ramp-up payments to get rid of my gambling debt. However, i’m pleased it’s Day 2 as it’s not Day 1 and i’m feeling upbeat and positive.

I’ve been reading about passive income streams today and how big time effort in the first instance can lead to future incomes. I’m toying with several ideas like an online blog with affiliate marketing but i’m not a social butterfly to have regular traffic visiting my blog, or, i’m not interesting for people to want to spend time reading about me and my escapades and added to this I don’t have many friends in-fact I could ***** them on one hand. I’m going to keep my thinking hat on and see what transpires.

Tomorrow is food shopping I think and i’m going to have to pay as my partner has paid the last three weeks. I’ve evaded paying but I got paid last week so it’s definitely my time to pay.

I’m dearly hoping to keep this journal updated daily and I will do my best to post on other journals so that together we can support each other.

Thanks again for taking the time to read my update.

Sean

[Sean1979]

Thank you for visiting the site and creating an account. I’m a newbie to this site too especially as i’ve lost quite a bit of money too recently.

Your narrative is very open and honest and is similar to how I am feeling with myself and people. We are all actors and a happy smiley face is one of those appearances we have to put-up for some people. I’ve been a moody, sad and unpredictable idiot to my partner and she has no idea of my gambling losses. I’m being an actor to her when all I want to do is come clean, but, it would break her heart.

I’m not going to soothe you or tell you that everything will be OK because i’m new to this and I don’t know what is going to happen. All I know is that I can fight this battle through sheer drive and enthusiasm to succeed in making money from other sources away from gambling and I hope you too can address your gambling with something as positive as I currently am right now.

Good luck,

Sean

[Sean1979]

So, yesterday it took me three hours to write my first post but today is the first day I have not gambled or deposited money to online gambling sites for four weeks. How am I feeling? Well the constant headache I had through stress has gone, but, the itchiness to bet has been strong. I’ve got NO money to gamble and as my initial post explains i’m struggling financially to sustain my lifestyle without people becoming aware of my problems.

Up until yesterday I was a ‘Need to make money’ gambler. Today, i’m a man possessed with trying to make money through alternative means. I’ve read countless articles how to make money quickly from writing e-books to selling on Ebay, from passive income streams to completing online questionnaires. Problem being is I have nothing to sell, the e-book market is saturated, passive income streams are hard to establish quickly and online questionnaires won’t keep the wolf from the door.

If there is something I could come up with that requires drive and motivation to succeed then i’m the man to do it. My day job pays well but I have very little left after all bills have gone out.

I’m struggling emotionally to know that I can’t give my partner the life she deserves. I’ve gambled savings that I can’t get back and she deserves better than me, I feel like she is missing out on a lot because of my selfish gambling. Although, it was never intended to be selfish as it was trying to make money for us to have a few extra things in life.

I’m going to read more articles now on money making and see if I can come up with something.

Thanks again for reading.

Sean

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