[sam.sam]

Hi P.
The cake was good, and even better when i use the microwave to warm it a little. My neighbor could not believe that it was not freshly baked. He said he was going to by some more.
P I am happy to hear that you enjoy talking about food and paying attention to what you like. I should do the same. I once liked cooking for my self and my friends, and I was good at it. I should do start paying more attention to daily activities that once was enjoyable.
I like your coffee in the morning activity. That is what we are talking about.
Have a good day P. I should go to the room now. talk to you later. One day at a time.

[sam.sam]

I was here to say hello and wish you a good day. Thank you for coming to my page and write to me. It is as I always mentioned. It helping me to feel supported and valued in here. I feel that in our journey of recovery we are all together like a team. No note books can do for me what you and others are doing for me here. Giving me an opportunity to look inside my own mind and feel that I am not alone in life. You are strong P. You take a good care of yourself. One day at a time.

[sam.sam]

Thanks P for being here. That alone means a lot to me and others, beside you always have a lot to offer to us from your experiences.
In your post You mentioned that when we feel sorry for our self or feel urges, doing some thing good for others would make you feel better.
That is really true. I feel the same P.
When we have so much bill and so much to deal with, we get frustrated and find that it is so hard, but remember that is WHAT we are dealing with here..why we find that so difficult..paying attention to how we are feeling now. I am talking about myself in the same situation..That is what made me start gambling in the first place. I did not have the energy, nor the skills to deal with the feeling .
I am glad that you had all the will power, and the skills, to pass this sad feelings. I am sure that you are getting stronger by each of this attacks, as you get smarter in finding a way to deal with them.
P Thank you and have a good day my friend. One day at a time.

[sam.sam]

Nice Post Sad. I am glad that you did not gamble yesterday. I hope Today also is a good day for you. I like the story you mentioned about the boy and the way the dad reacted to the problem. How about if I say ” our gambling is the child” and we at the same time are the father!? Can we get close to our self in a loving manner and see what is it that the gambling mind wants to tell us, by acting out like that, compulsive behavior? That is what I am trying to do, to listen to my gambling mind. There are two steps in there. First is when I am not gambling(how am i feeling? is there any thing that I am not happy with, or some thing that I rather not to think about it) here is my theory ” if i don,t look carefully or not listen carefully to my thought now, Later my subconscious, may act out, as he could not show me or tell me what was wrong, there for he acts out by the way of Gambling, drinking, ignoring the reality, becoming addicted. He is feds up with me not understanding him. I look at it like the situation between the father and the son in your story.
I had a very good advice from shuller in one of the posts, giving me a link to Dr Garbor Mate speaking about neuroplasticity. I think you would like to listen to few of his talks. here is the link to that site: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgiqMQTfw1Y
To remind you your own words:
I wish a few trips would cure compulsive gambling. But.I would probably find a casino .lol. Keep working on your recovery Sam.
As all people helpful people in here said, there is no cure compulsive gambling, but to control that, think about barriers. that is the only way Sad, no other magic potions.
You said you probably find a casino.. i know you were joking but, behind that, I can see myself when i was self excluding myself from the betting shops around me(at the same time my visual mind, was seeing the betting shop which were far from me)meaning of you are kidding me, I can take you far from your home to gamble again…..this was the negative way of me looking at it….the same time he may be is telling me : don’t just ban yourself here do it any where that you think you may one day go and gamble.
Sad you are a good person. Use all the support in here and believe me if you follow what they say, and put barriers in place, you will find yourself in a better place.

To end my post, I thank you again for being here, and tell you that I am visiting my neighbor every day, even if it is for few minutes. I enjoy that.
Take care Sad. One day at a time.

[sam.sam]

Reading your post and I wanted to write some thing to make you feel supported, bu when i read all your posts, I said to myself that I have to learn from P. You are strong and I congratulate you on keeping safe and gamble free days adding up. I am sure that if I feel frustrated and feel like gambling I will come back here and read your posts again, to help me to get trough the urges for gambling. keep writing for people like me. I appreciate it. Thanks P

[sam.sam]

I am a CG in my recovery for the last few weeks. With out writing in here and attending the life chat rooms in here I would be in betting shops gambling. as you can see we all have been there and more or less we know the feelings.
By coming here you have started the recovery already. I just want to mention that instead of going to betting shop and being worry that your partner would see you, talk to her and tell her exactly what you did, and how you felt. I can feel that she is the closest support you have. And take things One Day At a Time. That is what I am doing. Take care

[sam.sam]

Hi Sad. I am glad you have wrote in here. Yes it was very nice feeling seeing him enjoying the cake and the coffee.
You said: Looking back i wonder did i always have a touch of AHDH or something..

Thinking fast, is what we all do, It is so fast that some times we cant catch them or even notice them(that is some times, what that takes us to gamble). And I read some where: is simply one type of ADD. ADD is a cluster of symptoms such as distraction, inattention, and impulsiveness. When hyperactivity is added to these symptoms the diagnosis changes from ADD to ADHD or ADD with hyperactivity.

They are both treated the same way however. A protein diet, exercise, vitamins and supplements, a self-disciplinary activity such as martial arts, and education and ADD rules or protocol is used.
All what I see here is “taking to account my own feelings, physical health, and lack of attention” that gambling has taken all of those away from me. Lack of correct diet, exercise, planing, instruction, and discipline. So we do not have to be suffering from add, or ADHD to experience this signs. This is what C Gambling can bring about.
As you said yourself, we can unlearn what we have learned by changing the way we think and feel.
Sad Please continue to come here and share your feelings. It helped me so I am sure it will help yourself and others. Take care my friend. One day at a time.

[sam.sam]

Hi Sad. Thank you for your interesting post. I actually went and bought a big cake. Tomorrow I am going to cut it in half and share it with him with a cup of coffee. I think I have done what you said, buying myself some thing with the money, and also enjoy eating that with my neighbor with a cup of coffee. I am agree with you that giving me money makes him feel better as he paid for some thing he needed. I will remember that. it was a good point you highlighted.
I was thinking about when I was gambling, and was wondering if it was a way to punish myself. loosing, feeling of guilt, isolation, and all those feelings. Otherwise why I had to continue? am I stupid? of course not, so why I was continuing doing the same thing and expecting different result? was I expecting different result, winning? I do not think so. I was there to lose and to suffer. why? I still do not know, hopefully when in counselling, I would find out, the reasons behind that.
Sad you take a good care of yourself. Thanks again for being here. one day at a time.

[sam.sam]

I have now received a reply to my application from Soho gambling therapy center. I am place in a waiting list and sent some advice on how to keep away from gambling while awaiting. I would like to share their advice in case some one here find it helpful. I am sure in here most of us already been notified of this helpful points by gambling therapy website.
Why you gamble!

Problem gambling is thought to be an impulsive activity. In other words, you encounter something to do with gambling and this leads you to gamble before you have time to think through the potential negative consequences. For you, the act of gambling has become more of an automatic habit developed over time than something you consider in depth before doing. The following steps aim to break this impulse and give you a chance to think twice about gambling before doing so.
1) Exclude yourself from gambling premises
 Self-excluding from those premises you favour or frequent most often
 Creating ‘safe zones’ around your home, place of work and route from home to work
 Installing online blocking software – Gamblock ($90) and K-9 Web Protection (free)

By self-excluding it becomes more difficult and uncomfortable for you to gamble. By having these strategies in place it forces you think twice about whether or not to gamble, in turn making it more likely that you will break the habit and think through your options.
2) Reduce your access to money
 Limiting the amount of cash you carry – if all you need is lunch money, carry £3 not £5
3) Enjoying your life without gambling

Many gamblers report there to be a void once gambling has been removed from their life. Gambling may have reduced the time you spend on other activities or stopped you seeking out pleasure elsewhere. Finding new ways of enjoying your life in the absence of gambling is crucial for keeping away the thoughts and urges that put your recovery at risk. Why not try:

 Brainstorming a selection of new activities you have never tried but may enjoy
 Restarting past hobbies and interests that gambling stopped you doing
 Planning your week in advance to ensure these activities are regularly included
 Rewarding yourself for the days, weeks and months you do not gamble

Take some time to think this through. It is important to find a balance between things that need doing (e.g. working, cleaning, paying debts) and things you want to do. And not everything costs money! By having alternative activities to do, you limit the amount of time available to gamble and have an outlet for enjoyment and escape that will not cause you problems.

4) Try not to think about gambling as a way of making money
It may seem obvious to you at this point but thoughts about winning can still drive gambling behaviour. Some people still hold unrealistic thoughts about being a professional gambler able to make money from gambling. Those people who attempt to make money do so by sticking to very strict targets, for both winning and losing. They don’t chase losses, nor do they chase wins.
If you are reading this it is more likely that you could be described as a ‘compulsive’ gambler. What do we mean by the term ‘compulsive’?
 The compulsive gambler will continue to gamble in the event of both wins and losses
 The compulsive gambler has no ‘off’ switch and thus will gamble until all money is lost
 The compulsive gambler therefore cannot make money from gambling
Thoughts and memories about gambling wins will still occur but should be seen as faulty. Memories about wins tend to be more easily recalled than memories about losses, so you may be over-estimating your chances of winning due to a biased memory. Instead try to remember the instances when you have lost money – practice trying to recall images from those times and visualize the consequences you then experienced.

I am quite happy that I have taken the step to ask for help. Today I went to my neighbor and gave him a nice hair cut. Guess what..he gave me a £5 note. I did not accept that explaining that we are friend and I have not done it for money, and making the money makes me feel bad. But as he is, always been so stubborn, he insist. I took the money thinking I might be able to buy some thing for him tomorrow as a present with that money, so the £5 is in front of my computer waiting until tomorrow.
Today was a good day. One day at a time.

[sam.sam]

Hi Sad68,
I am glad to hear that things are improving for you. As you experienced waking up early, is very positive. You have enough time to do thing in no harry. I realized from my own experiences, that when we stay in bed most of the day, we do not drink water, not eating, and it all makes us weak. Here in London it is rainy most of the time, but in a good day I do not really let it effect me, going out and do what I have to do. My day today was not bad actually. even though I could not do what I planned to do, for I was not feeling very energetic today, but all together, It was a quiet day with no pressure. That is good to have a dog. It makes you go out even if it is only for his sake, but at the same time you enjoy the walk as well. Take care Sad68. One day at a time we will sort things out.

[sam.sam]

Hi sad68. I am glad they were able to help and give you some advice. When they ask you to pay less than £10 They have taken your situation in to account(with the information that you have given about your financial situation) so they believe that you can not afford more. Do not try to pay more than you realistically can. I know you want to show that you are ready to pay what is available. But do not forget, the money adviser taken everything into account before advising you. Do not feel embarrassed about how your boss may feel. It has been done, and you can not change that, so concentrate on now, and know that all people get in to financial problem for gambling reasons or some thing else. Be strong and concentrate on your recovery. All the best and have a good week end.

[sam.sam]

Hi Monique,
Thank you for your encouraging post. I am always energize by seeing that good people like yourself spend time and pay attention to my recovery and ups and downs that comes with that. Today was, and is a good day. I am feeling great and it is mostly because you and others are here when i need a warm welcome. Thank you very much Monique.

[sam.sam]

Hi icandothis. Thanks for your positive post. I like your name in here. It is making me feel positive as soon as I see your name. As you said all that is happening is first starting from within us and the effect is our outer reactions. I have been working on my feelings and think that, as you said, some thing has started to take shape and every day passed it is getting stronger. That is hope and the realization about the power of our mind. If we put our mind on some thing we can do that. We may need some tools and motivation to begin with, which in our case, we have it in here, in the words and posts from our friends here. I am glad to have you here to give me a hand when i feel lonely and tired. It means a lot. You take care, and hopefully we meet in the therapy room some times. thanks again.

[sam.sam]

Thanks for your post. As you said ” we are worth it ” No sad I am not religious but believe in greater power. today I have done some positive things. Cleaning tidying up my room, did some shopping and went out for a long walk near the park. I was blessed with a good day and came home happy to write in here and see what others are written in the forum. Sad you take care of yourself and be positive. One day at a time. God bless you my friend.

[sam.sam]

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But they have to act within the law and obey a number of guidelines that are set down by the Office of Fair Trading.

Unfair debt collection
The OFT have set out guidelines on what they consider to be unfair debt collection practices. These include:

Calling you at work without permission
Discussing your debts with an employer or family member
Refusing to deal with advice agencies like us
Pressuring you to borrow more money to pay off debts
Pretending to have legal powers they do not have
Adding unreasonable charges
Continuing to contact you when the debt is being disputed
If a creditor repeatedly fails to follow these guidelines, the OFT can issue a warning, impose a fine or withdraw their credit licence.

The guidance is available to download free from the OFT website.

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