[Sade]

I’m not sure if there is a connection, but i wanted to know if gambling and cheating are connected in some way. I’ve recently learned (not from my bf who is a cg) that he cheated on me more than a hanful of times. I know there are many men who cheat and they don’t have a gambling problem, but it seems as though when he gets depressed from loosing that he turns to cheating? In my heart i want to leave him, but i don’t feel ready financially. But at the same time, he doesn’t help me financially at all, so it doesn’t make any sense. Any advice you all can give me would be great because i am basically done with dealing with him. I always knew he had two sides to himself. There is the cg part of him and a loving part to him. But it seems as though the gambling side of him is taking over and he doesn’t realize what he has and will soon loose. But i am sick of dealing with his gambling, cheating, and not being there for me.

[Sade]

Thank you everyone for your words. I appreciate it and find value to it. I would like to talk more about my situation to get more help from you all.
Twilight to answer you question my bf who is a cg does not have a steady job. He hasn’t worked in a long time, so it is just me who pays the bills. There are times where he can make money here and there, but he uses it to gamble and doesn’t help with bills at all. I work as much as i can to be able to cover all the bills that i have, but it makes me agry that i have to pay all of the bills and when he makes his money he uses it on his gambling only. He tells me to wait till another time and he will pay a bill. He even has the nerve to ask me for money. I cannot help but yell at him most times because it is very frustrating dealing with him and his addiction. For the most part when he is not gambling he is thinking about gambling and wanting to gamble. I feel like he has very intense mood swings when he isn’t gambling because in the morning he is mad that he can’t gamble and then in the afternoon he is fine and spends time with us and then the next day he gets mad again about the fact that he cannot gamble. I have to admit that for sometime i was enabling him because i would loan him money only because he would literally beg until i give it to him. We only have one vehicle, so when he tells me he wants to use the car for work i let him use it because he promises me that he will use the money to pay for bills. But more times then not he doesn’t and uses it for gambling. So it is very confusing to me. I don’t want him to use the car because i know he will use the money to gamble, but at the same time i am hopeful that he will finally decide to use the money for bills.

I understand that i need to take care of myself and not worry about his gambling, but i need to learn how to do that? When he is talking about his gambling i get mad and tell him he should stop gambling, but he only gets mad and it doesn’t benefit either of us. So what do i do when he is talking about wanting to gamble? What do i say?

I would love to have more information and resources about how i can learn to deal with a cg.

Thank you for your time.
Sade

[Sade]

I am trying to get familiar with the site and look forward to using the resources available. Here is what i want to get out of this; how do i live with a CG? How to i talk to him when he is gambling and when i need him to help me with things? Do i ignore him and just do everything myself while he sits at the computer and TV putting in his bets and watching them? When he expresses his anger to me, what do i do? Do i let him talk down on me? or do i talk back?
He gambles daily and when he’s not he is searching for more money to gamble. I get very frustrated with him, but i’m realizing that yelling at him about his addiction doesn’t help at all. It only frustrates me more and makes me feel like i’m stuck at square one. It’s hard for me to seperate the CG from the nice guy he is deep down. How do i deal with him after he gambles when i am so frustrated?

[Sade]

Hi Velvet,

Thanks for your post! I am on Hawaii time and would also like to communicate with you in real time.

I feel stuck in my thoughts and actions and i agree with you that learning more about the addiction will help me to be better understanding.

Thank you!

[Author]

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