[richie]

K, i have 100% confidence that you will weather this storm. Why? Because you have such a good “track record” (one of my old gambling terms) so far. Not only do I have confidence in you persoanlly but I also have confidence in this place (GT) and it’s “ability” to support your efforts in the near-term. If we had to walk this path of recovery alone, our chances wouldn’t be so good but as long as we choose to stay in touch with our fellow travellers, then we are strong. I like the analogy of trying to snap a single pencil in two pieces…it’s easy. But if you gather 10-20 single pencils into a bunch it is darn difficult to snap all of them at once. Remember K the road to recovery is not a straight line. It zigzags all over the place trying to throw us off course. Knowing that prepares you for the worst. …each day is a GIFT!

[richie]

…Still not 100%…
Somtimes a little phrase like this catches my attn…
Of course, you were speaking physically (lovely) K, but the way my mind works (or doesn’t) I like to turn things inside out and proclaim that I have never BEEN 100% in the past 65 years, tee hee. Isn’t it great that one can still “function” at less than 100%??? It’s not like these stupid computers that won’t let you get online unless/until you know the EXACT password.
Lately I have been hearing the expression “willing to go to ANY lengths for my recovery”. I know what that means and I even know where it comes from (the “big book” of Alcoholics Anonymous). But saying one is willing to go to ANY lengths is akin to that 100% deal. One lady told me that she used to be willing to go to MANY lengths, but it wasn’t until just recently that she dropped the M from Many and is now willing to go to ANY lengths.
I have taken almost the opposite approach. I am so grateful that I am willing to go to even one length (BTW speaking of one length, harkens me back to my horse race gambling days where they measured the winning distances at the finish wire in “lengths”) What I mean by that is for about 25 years I was not willing to go to even one length for my recovery and then in 1991 I finally went to my first GA meeting. (BTW I am not saying that a CG must go to their first GA meeting. I believe that there are many paths to recovery, GA being just one path that seems to work for some. I actually believe in that phrase “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” so, if I show even 1% of willingness then a path will appear for me to take.)
I also believe that once I start down that (recovery) path, more and more opportunities will present themselves. Unfortunately, more and more roadblocks will also present themselves. That’s why recovery is not a straight line type of thing. Some have said that we need to learn how to dance, i.e. two steps forward and one step back.
Anyway, I gotta run along now. Thanks again K for your post and for your wonderful diary here.
Richie in Florida… …each day is a GIFT!

[richie]

Hi Scott and welcome to the GT site. Thank you for coming here and being honest about your currrent situation and most important for asking for help. Your asking for help is so important because it allows US to try to help you and in that process we help ourselves, or you could really say that you are helping us by asking us to help you. How’s that for a run-along sentence?
If you attended your first meeting yesterday afternoon (Coral Springs, Delray Beach, Hollywood, Palm Coast, or Wellington?) AND really enjoyed the meeting, then you are well on your way to solving your problem(s). I attend the Wednesday night GA meeting in Sarasota, near Tampa. We usually have around 20 members attending which make for a nice mix of different types of gamblers and different types of recovery. It is something like eating at a buffet restaurant…something for everyone.
Like you Scott, I really enjoyed my first GA meeting on March 15, 1991. My first impression was these people are CHARACTERS! But I soon realized that I fit right in! It is amazing how much alike we are despite all the differences in the details of our experience and path to GA. The nice part of our diversity is we can learn something at every meeting, including learning what NOT to do which is sometimes more helpful than listening to the wisdom and experience of the "oldtimers".
I am visiting family up north for a few weeks Scott, but I will try to attend some GT online sessions. I hope to get to know you better there and share in your early recovery. Thanks.
 
 
 …each day is a GIFT!

[richie]

Moe, besides my being a compulsive gambler and a compulsive smoker, I am also a compulsive poster! So, here’s another of my favorites from Nicotine Anonymous…
Our Promises
On our path to freedom, joy, and serenity, we are guided by the Twelve Steps of Nicotine Anonymous, which allow us to successfully steer the treacherous curves of craving, emotionality, turmoil and unmanageability. Our spiritual life is not a theory; we have to live it.
Physical improvement for many of us has been almost immediate. Our sense of smell and taste returns; the world takes on a new dimension of color and clarity. Our self-esteem is fueled by the genuine realization that a Power greater than ourselves has pulled us from the muck of denial where we have been ever so slowly killing ourselves. We no longer have to answer the “craving call” every twenty minutes! We choose to ask for the help this program offers so that we can reduce our risk of becoming one of the millions of premature nicotine related deaths each year. What relief!
We are learning to assert ourselves where previously we have been aggressive or passive; we are also beginning to love ourselves. As the numbness lifts, we begin to feel again, sometimes, to the temporary peril of those around us!
Gradually, our interest is focusing on Nicotine Anonymous rather than nicotine. We begin to forget we had been nicotine users, except at meetings. We now realize we have been participating in a grand hoax. We haven’t given up anything at all!
Health is a new experience. We are humbly grateful for this gift. Our Higher Power, through this program, has done for us what we could not do for ourselves….each day is a GIFT!

[richie]

Moe, that’s fantastic! 9 months…the worst is over! I remember after only 6 months my enjoyment of the smell of second-hand smoke stopped and I suddenly couldn’t stand it anymore. I have no idea what changed inside my physically, but it was like someone had flipped a switch.Moe you said
“I am hoping to use things I learn from abstaining from smoking in my gambling recovery…” I was wondering if you have ever heard of the serenity prayer for smokers? I really liked it back in 1991 when I quit. Anyway, here it is for your reading pleasure… The Serenity Prayer for Nicotine Users
“God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” * Selected from text written by Reinhold Neibuhr – 1926
God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change…
As nicotine users, we cannot change our craving for nicotine, but even if we can’t change the craving for nicotine, we can accept it. The truth is that until we can accept our craving for nicotine, we will not stop the repetitive behavior. Using some form of a nicotine delivery system is what we will do if we decide we cannot accept the craving.

It’s that simple. If, for example, you are a cigarette smoker and you will not accept the craving, then you will surely light a cigarette. Or maybe you will have “one ****” or “one pinch” if you chew to get you through, but even one **** or one pinch is not accepting the things that you cannot change.

Accepting the craving does not mean we want the craving or like it. Accepting it means, first, recognizing the craving for what it is: a strong desire, physical and psychological, not a real need, for nicotine. That’s all. We do not fight the craving; rather we look at it, letting it be, not getting panic stricken or feeling sorry for ourselves, but saying, “Yes, I really am craving nicotine right now.”

We do not practice self-deception and try to trick ourselves into thinking we don’t want nicotine. This is an honest program. Nor do we try to hate the “habit” (or ourselves) so much that we quit. While we are actively using we cannot make our bodies stop craving nicotine, but we can live with a craving until it passes, and so we pray for…

Courage to change the things I can…
The thing that we can change is our unwillingness to live, even for a short time, with the craving for nicotine. We can, with God’s help and the support of the group, change our old way of dealing with craving, and deal with it in a new way: We become willing to live with the craving; we no longer use nicotine to get rid of the pain of craving. If we light a cigarette to relieve the craving, this shows we have not accepted what we cannot change and have not acted with the courage to change the things we can.

Of course, living with the craving is hard, sometimes very hard, but you are not alone. With the help of a Higher Power you can do it. That is what the Serenity Prayer is all about.
So we ask God to help us accept the craving, and then we ask God to give us the courage not to take care of this craving – as we have always done – by using nicotine once more. Thus, we need the serenity to accept the craving, and the courage to just let it pass…
And wisdom to know the difference.
The wisdom we ask for here is to become aware of the difference between our old way of handling the discomfort of craving in the past (for example, by compulsively lighting up) and the new way of dealing with cravings: accepting the craving until it passes, uncomfortable though we may be for a few moments, understanding that a craving will pass whether we use nicotine or not.

The strength and courage to live as former nicotine users with this initial discomfort does come if we ask for it, even though it may take time. What we receive is not raw will power, but a Power that comes from our Higher Power, from the group, and from our innermost self. The power we actually want is love! It is only with this kind of power that we can become ex-nicotine users and receive a new life free from nicotine addiction.

The reason we did not become ex-nicotine users years ago is that we chose not to live with the craving. Every time we craved, we gave in and used nicotine. We kept hoping that in some magic way a day would arrive when the craving would disappear or we would find an absolutely painless way to stop being addicted. That day never came. Each of us kept repeating our favorite rationalizations or excuses for using tobacco, our own justifications for not living with the craving. And we kept craving and using, craving and using, year after year.

But now we can change all that. The moment we can accept what is -“I want nicotine” – and face it with the courage God gives us, we can say, “I choose not to handle this craving by using nicotine,” then we become ex-nicotine users!

If you continue to use nicotine even though you say this prayer, then say it again, and again, and keep saying it while you reflect what it means to you, a nicotine addict. Eventually it will work. It will not work if you are not sincere, but if all you can do at first is to say the prayer without believing it, then at least do that! Some time may be needed for you to receive the power to live with the discomfort that comes from craving, but eventually it will come. In time, the craving will diminish greatly, and someday, we trust, it will disappear altogether. However, if you have a slip, and for example, you are a smoker and light one up, accept yourself reverently and say the prayer again the next time!

Remember, it is not really the stress, frustration or even the craving that causes us to keep using nicotine again, but rather our lack of serenity and courage to deal with the craving. Help comes from your Higher Power, from the group, and from your own healthy inner self! May God be with you now!……each day is a GIFT!

[richie]

I just now ran across yet another statistic about smoking. I know, I know, GT is about gambling, but I just want to post this here so I can find it later…
Many people think that they can have just one cigarette after quitting. Maybe they are enjoying a night on the town, throwing down a few drinks and the smell of others smoking triggers that craving. It is easy to think that having a cigarette won’t hurt but 90 percent of smokers who smoke after quitting will later return to regular smoking.
Thanks. BTW Mike did another great job in today’s topic session about the male/female divide!…each day is a GIFT!

[richie]

Paul, I mean Larry, tee hee. I must have missed this thread in the past, but you have me thinking about “Day Two is Still a Day Away”. Very interesting (as Maxwell Smart used to say on his TV series)! So, Paul, I mean Larry, let me get this straight…is it possible that instead of the standard “one-day-at-a-time” bromide that we all hear in 12-step meetings, which cautions us not to look too far in the future… is it possible that what you are suggesting is that today is ALWAYS day#1??? Because if that is what you are suggesting, then I think that is brilliant. In fact, it reminds me a little of the movie in the states called “Ground Hog Day” where Bill Murray is trapped had to “redo” Feb 2nd until he got it right. Except you are adding the concept that “Day Zero is Still Yesterday”. So my take away is we are always in Day One and don’t get too cocky if you have clean time and don’t get too scared if you don’t. Because actually all we have is this moment to deal with, not even 24 hours, just this SECOND. So stay focused on the here-and-now, right? Thanks….each day is a GIFT!

[Author]

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