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thanks mate its been great hearing from you.

why do you still post in forums like these after being away from gambling for so long? do you consider gambling to be one of those things that can easily creep back up on you even after nearly a decade of stopping? i ask because that is a scary thought to me that I’ll be spending the rest of my life trying to stay away from this addiction. i went the first 20 years or so of my life looking at gamblers like “youre stupid if lose your money to gambling, how dumb can you be” but then later on found it was so much easier to fall into no matter how smart you consider yourself.

I had hopes I would fall back into the thoughts i originally had about gambling eventually but have a feeling its going to be a battle for the rest of my life. its a strange thing how gambling can change the way I think so abruptly and destroy my life in a single moment. do you still have moments of weakness or you know you are fine now? i look forward to the milestones of time as a non-gambler I can announce on these forums.

I play online games also and find myself gambling for ingame wealth on a certain game (which cannot translate to irl money) but its still to succeed through the game faster. would you consider this cheating? as i have not gambled since last week but I did do some in this online game i play which made me feel guilty like a gambler. i feel like I should reset my non gambling streak even though it wasnt for real money. Would you agree that it is still a form of gambling and should reset my counter? because i did also feel the heart rate go up like it would in real money gambling. i guess im answering my own question but would also like comfirmation.

thanks for your time steev

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Thanks for the words mate. I swallowed my pride this week, snapped my debit card and cancelled it and then rang my mother and told her everything that is going on and she was super supportive and i sent her my pay this week. I’ve been very busy with work this week which has made not gambling a lot easier.

Im very proud of myself this week even though its only early days but these small steps i have taken, have been something ive been avoiding for months now and finally got the courage to do it. What is strange is that when i got paid, i sent the money straight to her easily and thought to myself “this was easy, im done with gambling and couldve done it without her help” but then the next day i found myself very close to gambling the little money i had left in my account which was for a bill going out later in the day and then remembered that i cancelled my debit card so it would not be possible. 

So it gave me relief knowing i couldnt do it but also quickly reminded me why i took these steps and how disgustingly quick my mind was triggered back to thinking like a gambling addict.

So i guess things will be like this for a while and my mum will be holding onto my money for a while until i can sort myself out. This is the beginning of a long but worth it journey. Thanks for reaching out mate, its nice to know that people out there actually care for the progress of other members. Are you a recovered gambler or still fighting urges?

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Hey Monica, all your messages have been very nice to read. You sound like youve had your fair share of experience and also obstacles in your life so its very inspiring for me to read.

Ive been thinking of reaching out in prayer for a long time because i come from a christian upbringing and have found a few times during my life when things were very bad, i i reached out to god and everything eventually fell into place and worked out in the end. Something holding me back is i didnt want to do it like that again, it makes me feel like i only decide to learn more about god or start praying when things arent going good for me when i i should be learning when things are good and i dont anything in return. Feel like its a selfish act on my behalf like im just doing it for someone to bail me out, not on purpose but subconsciously.

Im gonna read through this entire thread to see what i said back when i was more active. Thanks for sharing personal info about yourself to help me in my situation. I appreciate it more than you know. Do you have any threads yourself on here that i can read through read more into your journey? 

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I didnt read this till now as i already lost yet again, another pay cheque yesterday. Something that sunk in was you saying words and promises wont do it, what actions will i have in place. It made me realize that’s all ive done lately is talk to myself and promise myself no more gambling and it hasnt hasn’t worked at all. 

So you are right, i need to put in action. First one is getting rid of my debit card and changing back to an eftpos card. Second one is contemplating telling a family member. Then i need to find other actions i can take. 

Last person that told me to get everything blocked, insisted on a certain program which would block sites on my devices but was gona be very expensive to buy. Do you know if any free programs thatdo this exist or are they usually all paid?

Thanks for taking time out of your day to drop me some help, its much appreciated

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Sorry steev my message was actually directed at the person who commented below you. You are right though, i have been given a lot of advice and not really put in the effort to try them out. 

I dont want to annoy people that tell me to go to a GA meeting as i live in a small town in new Zealand where everyone knows everyone and I feel like its guaranteed ill bump into someone i know. I know it sounds pathetic but a meeting i have to show up to in person is something i really dont want to do hence why im trying to find other means. 

I spent most my pay gambling again. But i withdrew what i had left in cash, and am getting rid of my debit card so ill need a new one but going to get an eftpos card instead of debit so I can’t use it online. Im spending the next few days wondering if i should tell my mum about the problem and send her my pay everyweek then she can just send mr what i need for groceries etc. The problem there is that she use to have a gambling addiction too and i i worry about the safety of my money with her. I feel if i stress it to her that I need her to look after it and to promise she wont spend any then it might be fine but i know gambling can make you do things you wouldn’t normally do.

Im also very busy with work now since ive returned and dont find myself with much spare time now. I will be making good money again now so have a few days before payday next week to put some things into place to increase my chances and not gambling next week. What i havent done yet is go and read other stories since ive been back on this forum so will look through when i wake up.im writing this comment late at night lying in bed as i just got home and am going to sleep

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Thank you for replying to my thread. I hear it a lot that people have underlying reasons why they gamble but cant seem to pin point why i do. Are you able to tell me a few reasons that you gambled for if you dont mind? For me its like i know i shouldn’t but the second my mind thinks “maybe one more time”, it ends up guaranteed to happen, it’s like a switch in my brain goes off and shuts down any logical thinking.

I do feel like im in that deep pit of it because of the control it has over me. Im getting to the point where i feel like reaching out to god to ask for help out of desperation hoping something might give me the strength even though i dont normally pray or even know how to. I feel like gambling is hell on earth and everytime i lose all my money again, i get evil thoughts like hurting myself or stealing my money back from someone else. I wouldn’t ever act on these thoughts but the fact that they even jump in my head for even a second shows me the evil in it. 

Any tips or just thoughts you have in moments of weakness? I just returned to work today so it has helped my mental health a little but i get paid tomorrow so will spend as much time as i can on this forum before that to try and keep myself from making any bad decisions

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Hey guys, wondering of any of you are still active here.
I havent been on the forums for 5 or 6 months i think. Im back because i have spent the last few months losing everything again.

The last 3 weeks as soon as I got paid, I went to the slots and lost my entire pay immediately and struggled to eat during the week because of it. Each time, i promised myself i would quit and started counting the days but then as soon as i got paid again i went straight back and gambled.

Its been 4 days since i gambled but then i borrowed 70$ off my friend today which was meant to be for food and i pay him back next week on payday. I ended up gambling that 70$ and lost it and now all i can think of is finding someone else to borrow money from so i can gamble it and hopefully get the money back i just lost. If it wasnt the weekend, i wouldve gotten a pay advance from a high interest pay day loan company which is a terrible idea.

As im writing all this, i feel like it all sounds so pathetic and maybe this is what i needed. I have been thinking about these forums for the past month or so but kept telling myself i am quitting gambling and it just doesnt seem to work. So after losing my mates money i decided it was time to come back.

I just wanna see if there’s anyone that might have some words of advice for me, why do i keep changing my mind as soon as money shows up in my account again and what are steps that people take to stop this irrational behaviour.

I consider myself quite intelligent yet i continue to lose everything i own to a game that was invented to take money from people. How am i caught up in this nonsense, i come across dumb people that even look at me like theres something wrong with me. It now seems they are the smart ones and im the idiot, how did i get to this point..

Sorry once again for just spewing words out, i am going to make it a habit of checking back here every day in hopes that some advice might sink in and i might be able to move on into the next stage of my life. I have been doing this for too many years now. I am also sorry if this all seems pathetic to the people that have lost way more than me, although i do feel like ive lost everything including my own sanity through all this.

Looking forward to reading any help out there

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Thank you guys for taking time to reply to me. I sort of waited for the site to reply to me today and they havent yet. After reading what you guys have said, im going to email them again and say to cancel my request and dont unban me. It is the last site ive found that i had a chance of using, im pretty much banned from every other place and dont trust any other sites.

I think work did have me distracted so i found the 42 days easy to get by but this obviously means the addiction is still alive and well inside me waiting for a moment of weakness. Its the end of the day now and time for me to sleep and im glad i didnt end up relapsing even though i intended to if i had the chance. I think i need to read through this forum again to remind myself of the pain gambling gave me because at the moment i don’t feel any. I will spend the next few days on this site since i nearly ruined my progress today.

Thanks guys hope yous are doing well

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Hope you are doing well buddy, havent been on here for quite some time due to being busy with work. I stopped counting the days as they went by but judging by the date, it looks like im now 42 days gamble free.

Reason i came back is because i am now injured and have to have a month off work which was taking up all my time. I have found that ive become bored and looking for something to do since having this spare time. I ended up trying to log on to 2 of my old gambling sites yesterday and asked them both to lift ny self exclusion which i was declined from both as they said im permanently banned due to me telling them gambling is affecting my life. Then today i tried another site, and they made me email them to say im fine now and not having any problems gambling. Which i did and am now awaiting their response to see if they unban me. I think im going to gamble if they unban me so thought i would come here for some advice hoping it might change my mind before they get back to me.

My mind tells me I’ll be okay and will just put on 100$ and call it a day. But a quieter voice in the back of my head says ive done this before and i wont stop at that 100. Its almost like i know the answer to my question but have this feeling inside me that it will be so satisfying to gamble again. 

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Hey guys just checking in to say im 14 days gamble free now. Feel good about myself. I have money in the bank and have been much too busy with work to spend it or gamble it. Gambling did pop into my head before going to sleep but only briefly. So i thought i would come on here to refresh myself. Just need to keep busy, looking forward to my first month of being gamble free

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Thank you man and congratz to you on an entire month wow. The keyword you used was stay busy. Have been busy all week with work and have barely had spare time to even think about gambling. Am now on day 9

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Its day 7 gamble free today. I have money in the bank again. Feeling good and havent thought of gambling. Have been busy with work though. Still taking it day by day, hoping to keep going gamble free

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You have a new supporter here meg. I still need to read through your thread, started reading some but i need to get to sleep. I have work in 5 hours and im still awake reading on here lol. 

From what i have seen, i can tell youre a nice person. We all deserve to move on in peace from this addiction. Congratulations on being pregnant. You must be so excited. I will be in touch, keep fighting and working on yourself. Talk soon 🙂

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Thanks for saying that man. Im young like you too so i feel like i can relate to how you are feeling a lot. What ive also noticed is how its easy to give out advice to other problem gamblers but not follow in the words im saying. I think thats why this site is good though because we can all relate in some way and give out advice and help and help us realize that we have the answers to our problems, its just a matter of putting those words into actions ourselves.

I feel your emotional rollercoaster so much that it made me wish i could help you out in some way. So even being some sort of support in your journey i hope might even help in the slightest would be the least i can do. Us young guys have so much more to experience in life so we really need to knock this problem on the head now. Debt does suck but just have to find ways of enjoying life while you are paying it off. Just think of it like paying off a student loan or a car or something. Its a part of you for the next few years. but hey, in the long run, a few years is nothing. We have decades and decades more to live after those few years. 

How exciting is it to think that we are going to look back one day and laugh at how silly we were. Keep your head high and remember your worth. Money isn’t everything in this world. True happiness doesn’t come from what money can buy. Cant wait to hear about your progress as time goes by

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Thanks for your kind words man. Its funny you say you haven’t won in a long time because now that i think about it, neither have i. 

Its been a long long time since i won anything so what really was the point of even playing right? Im on day 3 again now and already feel much better. You do actually get some satisfaction as each gamble free day goes by. Since i relapsed a few days ago ive been super busy with work. Which has made it much easier to not think about gambling. I feel really good about getting through next week when i get paid and think im ready now more than ever to not gamble. But its always easy to say when you have no access of funds right? 

I hope youre doing well murr, was happy to see you comment on my post after reading through you entire thread the other day. Felt so much of your emotions in your story and am highly rooting for you. The future seems so bright when i think about being gamble free for even just 30 days. I think just the first week is the very hard part which im determined this time. I will be checking out your thread again after work tomorrow. I will be keeping up with your progress and updates. We got this man!

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