[RedBerry]

You are still 18 so young a whole lot of life in front of you. This is emotional state your in right now is temporary. Make sure your not repeating the same mistake again. Take this as a lesson and go live life.

Just my two cents..

[RedBerry]

Dear all,

I have come to visit once again. I love to see you suffer mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. I want to make you restless so you can never relax. I want to make you jumpy, nervous, and anxious. I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything and everybody makes you uncomfortable.

I want you to be confused and depressed, so that you can’t think clearly and positively. I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the things you have done in the past and you’ll never be able to let go of. I want to make you angry and hateful toward the world for the way it is and the way you are. I want you to feel sorry for yourself and blame everything but me for the way things are. I want you to be deceitful and untrustworthy and to manipulate and con as many people as possible. I want to make you feel fearful and paranoid for no reason at all. I want to make you wake up all hours of the night screaming for me. You know you can’t sleep without me, I’m even in your dreams. I want to be the first thing you think about every morning and the last thing you think about before you black-out.

I’d rather kill you, but I’d be happy enough to put you back in the hospital, another institution, or jail. But you know that I’ll be waiting for you when you get out. I love to watch you slowly go insane. I can’t help but sneer and chuckle when you shiver and shake; when you freeze and sweat at the same time; when you wake up with the sheets and blankets soaking wet. It’s amusing to watch you ignore yourself; not eating, not sleeping, not even attending your personal hygiene.

Yes, it’s amazing how much destruction I can be to your internal organs while at the same time working on your brain, destroying it bit by bit.
I deeply appreciate how much you are sacrificing for me. The countless good jobs you have given up for me; all the friends that you deeply cared for, you gave up for me.
And what’s more, the ones you turned yourself against because of your inexcusable actions. I am eternally grateful, especially for the loved ones, family and the more important people in the world that you have turned yourself against. You threw even those away for me!

But do not despair, my friend, for on me you can always depend. After you have lost all these things, you can still depend on me to take even more. You can depend on me to keep you in living HELL, mind, body, and soul. For I will not be satisfied until you ARE DEAD, my friend.

Forever Yours,
Love from your addiction

[RedBerry]

Stoppen is niet makkelijk voor niemand niet. Wanneer je gestopt bent. Is gestopt blijven is nog veel moeilijker. Ga niet verder je graf graven je hoeft jezelf niet meer te testen of iets aan jezelf te bewijzen. Ga verder ook een gokvrij leven verdien jij ook.

Sterkte.. 

[RedBerry]

As I’m laying here on the couch I was thinking about my own life and how everything got me so far. In a big mess. What started as an excitement playing a game to win some extra’s ended up as a battle for life.

I simply could not forsee this was going to happen to me. Not in this way. I always been good with money management and financial outcome. Never spend my money on things I didn’t need. But they say casino is a devils game. In my early age a friend of my mom had an gambling addicting and I never knew what and why he was a addict. As he would work hard for his money to have a nice income. But at the end of the road lost everything and in hudge debts. Also I could never understand why rich people gamble? Seing all this money flooding away and how much I lost on gambling I really know now.

We were all destined to lose from the start. As we have a problem in our brain when we gamble. The thrill, dopamine, adrenaline and the rush we can’t handle like other people do.

I’m staying positive and having a bright future in front of me. But a couple of questions still do haunt me. What if my business will be successful and I will start to make money and profit. Will I still be urged to gamble with that money or not?? This is what really scares me the most. I hope my money management will be good as before.

I hope and really wish to stay gamble free for the rest of my life. I survived things that others would go insane or suicidal about. I just got to stay strong and move forward in life.

[RedBerry]

Stop gambling now and find yourself a replacement to get your mind occupied so u don’t think of gambling.

[RedBerry]

Querida Jasmine, Começar a se recuperar disso é parar de jogar. A vitória é a pior coisa que pode acontecer. Há um ano ganhei 100 mil euros em 2 dias, apostei esse dinheiro e mais 15 mil para mim. Há menos de uma semana, ele ganhou 15 mil e perdeu depois de 15 min. E eu tenho tantas dívidas que não sei como pagá-las. Mas agora estou ciente de que nunca poderei ganhar no jogo, mesmo quando o ganho nunca é suficiente para mim. Isso é veneno e doença. Peço que pare de fazer isso até que esteja completamente arruinado. Você pode ler minha história no meu diário. Não me deixe saber que é difícil. Você sempre pode escrever para mim. Saudações de Damir

[RedBerry]

Kära Jasmine, Att börja återhämta sig från detta är att sluta spela. Seger är det värsta som kan hända. För ett år sedan vann jag 100 000 euro på 2 dagar, jag spelade de pengarna och ytterligare 15 000 egna. För mindre än en vecka sedan vann han 15 tusen och förlorade detta efter 15 minuter. Och jag har så många skulder att jag inte vet hur jag ska betala dem. Men jag är nu medveten om att jag aldrig kan vinna på spel även när jag vinner är det aldrig tillräckligt för mig. Detta är gift och sjukdom. Jag ber dig sluta med det tills du är helt förstörd. Du kan läsa min historia i min journal. Låt mig inte veta att det är svårt. Du kan alltid skriva till mig. Hälsningar från Damir

[RedBerry]

Jasmine thân mến, Bắt đầu phục hồi sau này là ngừng cờ bạc. Chiến thắng là điều tồi tệ nhất có thể xảy ra. Một năm trước, tôi đã thắng được 100k euro trong 2 ngày, tôi đã đánh bạc số tiền đó và 15k khác của riêng tôi. Chưa đầy một tuần trước, anh ta đã thắng được 15 nghìn và thua số này sau 15 phút. Và tôi có rất nhiều món nợ mà tôi không biết làm thế nào để trả được chúng. Nhưng bây giờ tôi nhận thức được rằng tôi không bao giờ có thể thắng cờ bạc ngay cả khi tôi thắng thì điều đó không bao giờ là đủ đối với tôi. Đây là chất độc và bệnh tật. Tôi sẽ yêu cầu bạn ngừng làm điều đó cho đến khi bạn hoàn toàn bị hủy hoại. Bạn có thể đọc câu chuyện của tôi trên nhật ký của tôi. Đừng để tôi biết nó khó. Bạn luôn có thể viết thư cho tôi. Lời chào từ Damir

[RedBerry]

Dragi Jasmine,

Pocetak da se oporavis ovog je da prestanes kockanjem. Pobjeda je najgora sto se moze ikad desiti. Prije godinu dana ja sam u pobjedio 100k evra za 2 dana prokockao sam te pare i jos 15k svojih. Prije manje od sedmicu dana pobjedio 15 hiljada i ovo izgubio poslije 15 min. I ja imam toliko dugova neznam kako ikad da ih vratim. Ali sam sad svjestan da nikad na kocki nemogu dobiti cak i kad pobijedim nikad mi nije dovoljno. Ovo je otrov i bolest. Ja bi te zamolio da prestanes stim dok nisi skroz propao. Moju pricu mozes procitati na my journal.

Nedaj se znam da je tesko. Mozes mi uvijek pisati.

Lijep pozdrav od Damira

[RedBerry]

The best way to stop gambling and get out this vicious cycle. Break this nasty habbit and try to replace it with a positive habit that will benefit your life. Like sports, fishing, trips etc.

Don’t go any further with gambling as u can lose much more in life then u would like too. Cherish the things u still have. Accept the fact that u made mistakes and make it right. U still have a fiance that will support you.

I know u can do it! Be strong..

[RedBerry]

Your never to late to transform yourself from the old you to the new me. Before you do this the first thing comes in mind. Accepting and forgiving. You don’t want to get back to the old you do you?

The best ways to be the new you is to try and do things u haven’t tried and done before. Try to give gambling a replacement in your life. Something positive like sports, fishing or whatever u want to do..

I know u can do it! I believe in you..

RedBerry

[RedBerry]

You are on the right track. Stay strong and keep positive. 

Wish u the best!

RedBerry

[RedBerry]

Hi all, I’ve managed to not gamble this weekend even though I haven’t payed some of my bills in time. The most important bill is my rent money and the debt I own them. So I pushed back other payments so I could do this as it’s the first priority. Otherwise I would get be kick out this month. It is so ironic. One day u won big money the next day u can’t pay your own bills in time.

I have been in this situation so many times but I really know now gambling is never an option. If u ever think u can controll yourself when making bets. U would be playing yourself.

I’ve also put some things for sale just to get by this month. As I have no money to do foodshopping. Hopefully this will get me through the month. Even tho I’m against selling my personal stuff it’s a pain in my hearth I got to do this over again.

Luckily don’t feel the urge to gamble. As long as I can keep my house nothing else really matters.

[RedBerry]

Hi Ricky, Gambling is a vicious cycle that goes on and on. As u can ready my journal I’ve been through the same as you are and your situation is almost identical. Winning money is the most dangerous thing that can happen to all of us. We think we can beat the casino’s. This is a big fat lie. Only the house wins and we get in debt losing our hard worked money. I’m from the Netherlands too. So if u like to talk I’m here for you. The best this for you is find another acitivity that will keep your mind away from gambling. Try to find other ways to earn your money don’t recoup your losses and try to win back the money u lost. U will find yourself at the same position losing even much more not only money but also your friends and family. You still have a great life in front of you as you are still young. Stop gambling now and live life. Enjoy it. Don’t throw your life away money will come and go but the time you won’t get it back.

RedBerry

[RedBerry]

I’m sorry u relapsed. See it as another expensive lesson learned. It’s not like u lost the fight. Don’t give up now. U are stronger than that. In every recovering addict there is relapse. It’s easy to stop but it’s much harder to stay stopped. I hope u will be stronger after this relapse and this will be your last.

Take care of yourself u deserve it!

RedBerry

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