[ready2change]

thanks for the post Cat and thanks for the post at the start of my diary when i had just joined this forum you were the first person to post to me quickly followed by harry it meant a lot when i was getting it tough. Sorry to hear about your good friend and i hope your doing ok adaat your april thread is a great help. take care

[ready2change]

your right not to beat yourself up you can learn from this i went down to a friend of mine for a drink on friday night she lives 30 mile away i left my cash card at home and just took enough cash for drink and incase of emergencies like a flat tyre etc driving home yesterday hungover no thoughts of going to the bookies but it might have been different if i had of had my cash card with me. our addiction is so cunning baffling and powerful it plays tricks with our mind we have to try and be 1 step ahead of it and i know thats easier said than done its just a we set back your going in the right direction mate its trial and error we can all learn from each other iv picked up some great bits of advice on here that i hope to use to help me to try and arrest this dirty dirty dis ease adaat. take care

[ready2change]

your doing great Ed keep up the good work and youll have plenty of great holidays with the wife and those michlin 5 star dinners id settle 4 a sunday carvery haha. add up all the numbers on a roulette table and you get 666 freaky or what. celtics got a big match today use were very unlucky yesterday the reading keeper was unbelievable hopfully use can have a good summer in the transfer window its not easy for use atm. take care mate

[ready2change]

isnt it funny how cash becomes a real trigger for us but you are very aware of this Sherry and your taking no chances paying the painter in advance im picking up some greater pointers from this forum and your advice on barriers really does help me. enjoy the rest of your weekend

[ready2change]

isnt it funny how cash becomes a real trigger for us but you are very aware of this Sherry and your taking no chances paying the painter in advance im picking up some greater pointers from this forum and your advice on barriers really does help me. enjoy the rest of your weekend

[ready2change]

day 48 and 49 7 weeks bet free adaat. im a bit hungover today had a good night last night. few diaries i want to catch up with soon. im doing ok i think haha. limiting what money i carry at all ***** and avoiding all gambling on tele. some***** i feel like i sound like a broken record haha. hope everybody has a good weekend. God bless

[ready2change]

12th of april already its 833am over here and just for today hope not to gamble. have my blocks in place and trying to be a better person day by day im trying to be on a programme and to be more spirtual. i cant gamble responsively the cats in the streets know that hope everybody has a gond day

[ready2change]

thanks for the posts i will hopfully catch up with some diaries soon my internet signal on my phone is very bad atm but thats ok i will just say the serenity prayer its no big deal in the grand scheme of things. Day 46 and 47 im feeling good in myself thank God, left my ma and da to the airport last nite at 3am theyre away to portugal for a week 300 quid each all inclusive it just shows you what you can get with your money. I looked at the long term car park as i was driving away from the airport and it was full of big cars and i thought to myself id say none of them are cgs. if i keep my head down keep my blocks up and if i continue to really want this then i can in time start to really live again and learn the value of money again. but il take it adaat because thats the safest way in my humble opinion.

[ready2change]

sorry 2 hear about your MIL 97 is a massive age. 33 years marriage is a great achievement and i hope use get a break soon . hope your daughters enjoying her new job.
adaat we can do this. take care

[ready2change]

Neva great to hear your house is very nearly ready. my father built my ma and das house just over 40 years ago he built it after work for 2 years and they bought stuff when they had the money as they went along my mums father gave them the site as a wedding present all my sisters were born in a different house they were renting i was born in the house my father built it its my spirtual home i love going back down and staying in it from time to time. My father cant read or write but can do anyting with his hands he was a great worker and we we are so proud of him hes a good man.Hope your we calf bes ok he sounds lovely God help him. Sherry try not to worry your money is being spent on really productive things your doing great adaat

[ready2change]

thanks 4 the posts day 45 half way to my target adaat. im feeling pretty good thank God still early days but im doing ok quitely optomistic havent been this determined in a long time but as Ed says the real test will come when the tank is built up

[ready2change]

fair play to you mate another big step forward for you im getting a sense of achievement atm paying my bills loans etc i use to hate paying bills and would always try to win the money for the bill but it always ended in disaster at this moment in time im happy to face reality and try and live in the real world mind you my thoughts can change pretty quickly but adaat im up for the challenge. take care

[ready2change]

Hi Ed your walk in the hills in switzerland sounds great. hope your job bes ok! i loved what you said about living in the present and you in the wife getting on with everyday things mate your on a programme adaat. im starting to get my heart back slips knock you for six. we can do this take care

[ready2change]

thanks 4 the posts day 42, 43 and 44 have had terribke tinternet signal lately so couldnt get to post but thats ok. hungover this morning so i will catch up with diaries soon haha. had a good night out last night with mates just what the doctor ordered laid low while the grand national was on kept myself out of harms way was never really a race i took to serious mind you ***** dandy winniing in 1983 when i was 6 years old gave me a 2 pound win apparently the next year i cried when my horse didnt win so my dad said i dont think i would of cried haha. im very focused thank God i can do this if i really want it adaat

[ready2change]

day 41 feeling pretty good atm glad to have got away from watching gambling type things on the tele again im feeling foccused again adaat. trying to be aware of the consequences that first bet would do to me i have a lot of bills coming up have to try and get my ole car thru the test etc pay car tax pay my friends back and my ma and then i want to try and enjoy the months of the summer lifes short im sick of just surviving i want to live life and i can do that if i stay out of the ******* bookies adaat. i have to put the effort in now i know i have a dis ease but this can be ******** if i really really want it im closing all the doors on this disgusting dis ease adaat. its not going to be easy but i hope and pray for God to guide me because i want recovery i loved gambling and give it so so so many chances but it let me down time and time again im fully aware now what it done to me and as long as i dont place that first bet i have a chance because once i place that first bet im gone its all or nothing i had no discipline i would chase and chase 1 bet really is to many and a thousandbets isnt enough. a day at a time i will stay foccused

[Author]

Posts