[Rdy4Chng]

I have followed your journey. You have done so well before I know you can do it again!

[Rdy4Chng]

No gambling for 12 days.

[Rdy4Chng]

thank you

[Rdy4Chng]

Once you quit gambling you notice how much it is actually around you. The ads on the radio, the scratch tickets at every cash, 70 million dollar wins, go to the casino for a fun night out, friends casually mentioning winning the lotto.. it really is hard to avoid it.
But I am 10 days gf right now. I feel my eyes are opening to how bad the addiction really had me. (has me)
I have a lot of problems I need to work through. Slowing down a bit and taking baby steps is helping me. I have just been overwhelmed for so long, everything seemed impossible. Slowly, day by day, one day at a time I am making progress.

[Rdy4Chng]

Just for today I am going to be kind to myself.
Just for today I am not going to try to tackle all my problems at once.
Just for today I am not going to gamble.

[Rdy4Chng]

6 days since my last slip.
Not too many urges just a few fleeting thoughts.
I don’t have much money at the moment so that helps. Limited my access to money as well so no chance of getting it from somewhere else.
Taking it one day at a time and knowing that baby steps will eventually lead me all the way there.

[Rdy4Chng]

Too much pressure on myself to make it past 14 days – the milestone was so close I sabotaged myself. Enough is enough though – Today is day 5.
I had road blocks but they were not strong enough. That is something I am working on.
Went to group the other day and that was helpful, will try to figure out the time difference and make it to more groups.

[Rdy4Chng]

We all have a sad story my friend.
The biggest thing I have learned is that it all starts with one bet. One bet leads to another, leads to another. We lose when we make our first bet. Stay strong.
It will take time to undo what you (me) have done, but hopefully with time this will just be a thing of the past.

[Rdy4Chng]

I haven’t gambled in 12 days except for the single scratch ticket I bought last week. I feel ok and I know I should be proud but I still have strong urges to gamble. I’ve thought about how I can work around my road blocks. But glad to say I haven’t done that so far.
2 weeks seems to be my weakness so here’s hoping this time is really different.

[Rdy4Chng]

Ok one week done. This is not easy.
Feeling low about the damage I have done and know I cannot get that money back. It makes me sick.
Remembering to be gentle with myself and focus on the future and not the past.
Have joined a few chats online in this forum and that is helping. I will continue to do that until I find another method of support.
Not much more to say today.

[Rdy4Chng]

Definitely had major urges today.
Triggers: Going to visit a relative in the city, closer to my “favourite” casino. Going there alone. It’s what I’ve been doing the last while every time I go there.
What I did differently: Took all cards and money out my wallet except what I needed cash wise. Took my licence out of my wallet so I couldn’t go to a bank in person to get money (done that before). Wrote out my plan before I went there. Made plans for immediately afterwards so I had no time to go after the visit. Drove a different way home.
All in all, did not gamble. Well I bought a $5 scratch ticket. I haven’t scratched in yet. A minor setback compared to my usual $2000 deposit I was making weekly to the casino.
Still mad at myself. Still wrestling with my demons. Trying to believe everything will be ok as long as I don’t gamble. Gambling will not help. It does not helped and it hasn’t helped me so far.

[Rdy4Chng]

Honestly for me, the first week is actually pretty easy to get through. Not quite a week yet, but getting there. The first week seems to go by fast because you are taking the time to review what happened, feeling bad for yourself, thinking about change, etc. Once that first week is over, it gets harder. For me anyways.
I have been looking back at my bank account and it is just disgusting. In the past 2 months I have withdrawn $14,000 to gamble with yet I have a credit card with $15,000 debt. If I had just put that money on my debt instead of gambling, that card would be clear by now. Instead I have no money and still have debt. How ridiculous.
And yes, I know I should never have been allowed to access that money in the first place but I found a way around my road block and thats that. Not going to feel bad about it now. Just change how I act in the future. Bigger roadblocks are needed.
The amount that I’ve lost is so staggering I am still working on the courage to come clean. But here’s a question, what if your spouse says they DON’T want to know the details?

[Rdy4Chng]

Some thoughts of gambling today. More just longing for the quick fix of a big jackpot win. An old boss of mine just won $150,000 in the lottery. And he was such a lowlife lol – not the guy who deserves to win. Although he always gambled when I worked there years ago so I’m sure he is a cg as well and will likely not retain much of that money. For his sake I hope he does I guess haha.
But for me, I know I can’t go to the casino and hope/pray/dream for that big win. Thats what I’ve been doing. Its all up to chance and I’ve already lost so much, there is no way I can lose more money on that “dream”.
I have been trying to focus on positive things. Good self talk about having worth in life still. Thinking about having money and making money and actually my business has been a little busier in the past few days.
What we focus on is what we are going to get. If I sit and obsess over my debts and failures, I am going to get more of just that. If I think about abundance and being happy, I am going to get more of that too.
We just have to change our thinking, rewire our brains. It’s only money after all. It’s not the end of the world. Everyday we can start over. Maybe not erase what happened in the past but move towards better things for the future.

[Rdy4Chng]

Thanks Steev. Hope we will get a chance to chat more in group one day. 

[Rdy4Chng]

The problem most of us have is in making the first bet. That is what leads to us buying more tickets, doing more spins, betting more, etc. We lose on our very first spin/ticket, even if we win.
I found with myself and most cg’s on here that it didn’t matter if I won or lost. If I won, I’d go chasing that high. If I lost, I’d go chasing the loss. Either way I was losing.
Please be kind to yourself during this time and know that when we think we can do “just one more” or “just this one time” that is not true.
If we have a gambling problem, we can’t gamble at all.

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