[Rdy4Chng]

I am trying to think of each day as soon as I wake up as a gamble free day. Come here, write before the day is over and check in with myself. Before, I would wait until the end of the day to consider it a “gf” day but I hope starting my day as a new gf day will be a better strategy for me.
There is a big snow storm here which normally I would hate but it is keeping me inside the house, no thoughts of gambling at all. Also, it is way easier when my husband is here. Especially now that he knows I have not stopped. I can’t sneak away. And honestly, right now, I don’t want to.
No thoughts of gambling today, so far. Just of making things right. I know I have to be honest but I also think I need to show actions too. Admitting what I have done is one thing, about the past but acting differently today is what will change the future.
I am trying to be kinder with myself. AT least for now. After all I’ve been through, I deserve to be gentle with myself. No one is a harder critic on me than me and ME needs to lighten up a bit!
I’m not belittling my situation, I understand the gravity of what has happened and where I am at but maybe a kinder approach to myself would give me the courage to actually quit this thing.
I have started journaling not just here but in a notebook and realizing I have a lot of issues to deal with. I’ve also posted some positive quotes around my office, to help me stay on track and not forget the person I want to be and try to stop focusing so much on the person I’ve become.
I am about 5 hrs behind this forum I think but I am going to try to get into a chat one night/day if I can figure out the timing.

[Rdy4Chng]

Those are very good points. 
Thank you

[Rdy4Chng]

Ho appena letto il tuo thread e mi dispiace che tu sia ricaduto.

Va solo a dimostrare che anche dopo così tanto tempo, c'è sempre quella possibilità di giocare. Dobbiamo sempre fare la scelta di non giocare. Non sappiamo quando dire NO. Se avessi avuto più soldi a disposizione ci sono buone probabilità che avresti perso anche quello. (so che avrei)
Cerca di non concentrarti sui tuoi 4 giorni di ricaduta ma piuttosto concentrati sui tuoi 189 giorni di sobrietà (Gf). Secondo me è quel tempo che conta ed è lì che devi tornare.
Sono solo al terzo giorno, quindi ho molto da recuperare per arrivare a quel punto. Tieni la testa alta!

[Rdy4Chng]

Just reading your thread and I’m sorry you have relapsed. 

It just does go to show that even after so much time, there is still always that possibility to gamble. We must always make the choice not to gamble. We don’t know when to say NO. If you had had more money available there is a good chance you would have lost that too. (I know I would have)
Try not to focus on your 4 days of relapse but rather focus on your 189 days sober (Gf). In my opinion it is that time that matters and that’s where you need to get back to.
I am only on day 3 so I have a lot of catching up to do to even get to that point. Keep your head up!

[Rdy4Chng]

Upravo čitam vašu temu i žao mi je što ste se vratili.

To samo pokazuje da čak i nakon toliko vremena uvijek postoji mogućnost da se kockate. Uvijek se moramo odlučiti da se ne kockamo. Ne znamo kada reći NE. Da ste imali više novca na raspolaganju postoji velika šansa da biste i to izgubili. (Znam da bih imao)
Pokušajte se ne usredotočiti na 4 dana recidiva, već se usredotočite na svojih 189 dana trijeznih (Gf). Po mom mišljenju, to je vrijeme važno i tu se trebate vratiti.
Tek sam na 3. dan pa moram još puno nadoknaditi da uopće dođem do te točke. Držati glavu gore!

[Rdy4Chng]

Sadece konunuzu okudum ve nüksettiğiniz için üzgünüm.

Bu kadar zaman geçmesine rağmen, hala kumar oynama olasılığının olduğunu gösteriyor. Her zaman kumar oynamamayı seçmeliyiz. Ne zaman HAYIR diyeceğimizi bilmiyoruz. Daha fazla paranız olsaydı, onu da kaybetme ihtimaliniz yüksekti. (yapacaktım biliyorum)
4 günlük nüksetmenize odaklanmamaya çalışın, bunun yerine 189 günlük ayıklığınıza (Gf) odaklanın. Bence önemli olan o zaman ve geri dönmen gereken yer orası.
Henüz 3. günümdeyim, bu yüzden o noktaya gelmek için bile yapmam gereken çok şey var. Başını dik tut!

[Rdy4Chng]

ਸਿਰਫ ਤੁਹਾਡਾ ਧਾਗਾ ਪੜ੍ਹ ਕੇ ਅਤੇ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਅਫਸੋਸ ਹੈ ਕਿ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਦੁਬਾਰਾ ਆ ਗਏ ਹੋ.

ਇਹ ਸਿਰਫ ਇਹ ਦਰਸਾਉਂਦਾ ਹੈ ਕਿ ਇੰਨੇ ਸਮੇਂ ਬਾਅਦ ਵੀ, ਜੂਏ ਖੇਡਣ ਦੀ ਸੰਭਾਵਨਾ ਹਮੇਸ਼ਾਂ ਰਹਿੰਦੀ ਹੈ. ਸਾਨੂੰ ਹਮੇਸ਼ਾ ਜੂਆ ਨਾ ਖੇਡਣ ਦੀ ਚੋਣ ਕਰਨੀ ਚਾਹੀਦੀ ਹੈ. ਸਾਨੂੰ ਨਹੀਂ ਪਤਾ ਕਿ ਕਦੋਂ ਨਹੀਂ ਕਹਿਣਾ ਚਾਹੀਦਾ. ਜੇ ਤੁਹਾਡੇ ਕੋਲ ਵਧੇਰੇ ਪੈਸਾ ਉਪਲਬਧ ਹੁੰਦਾ ਤਾਂ ਇੱਕ ਚੰਗਾ ਮੌਕਾ ਹੁੰਦਾ ਕਿ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਉਹ ਵੀ ਗੁਆ ਦਿੰਦੇ. (ਮੈਨੂੰ ਪਤਾ ਹੈ ਕਿ ਮੇਰੇ ਕੋਲ ਹੋਵੇਗਾ)
ਆਪਣੇ 4 ਦਿਨਾਂ ਦੇ ਦੁਬਾਰਾ ਹੋਣ 'ਤੇ ਧਿਆਨ ਕੇਂਦਰਤ ਨਾ ਕਰਨ ਦੀ ਕੋਸ਼ਿਸ਼ ਕਰੋ ਬਲਕਿ ਆਪਣੇ 189 ਦਿਨਾਂ ਦੇ ਸ਼ਾਂਤ (ਜੀਐਫ)' ਤੇ ਧਿਆਨ ਕੇਂਦਰਤ ਕਰੋ. ਮੇਰੀ ਰਾਏ ਵਿੱਚ ਇਹ ਉਹ ਸਮਾਂ ਹੈ ਜੋ ਮਹੱਤਵਪੂਰਣ ਹੈ ਅਤੇ ਇਹੀ ਉਹ ਥਾਂ ਹੈ ਜਿੱਥੇ ਤੁਹਾਨੂੰ ਵਾਪਸ ਜਾਣ ਦੀ ਜ਼ਰੂਰਤ ਹੈ.
ਮੈਂ ਸਿਰਫ ਤੀਜੇ ਦਿਨ ਹਾਂ ਇਸ ਲਈ ਮੇਰੇ ਕੋਲ ਉਸ ਮੁਕਾਮ 'ਤੇ ਪਹੁੰਚਣ ਲਈ ਬਹੁਤ ਕੁਝ ਕਰਨਾ ਹੈ. ਆਪਣਾ ਸਿਰ ਉੱਚਾ ਰੱਖੋ!

[Rdy4Chng]

Je viens de lire votre fil et je suis désolé que vous ayez rechuté.

Cela montre simplement que même après tant de temps, il y a toujours cette possibilité de jouer. Nous devons toujours faire le choix de ne pas jouer. Nous ne savons pas quand dire NON. Si vous aviez eu plus d'argent disponible, il y a de fortes chances que vous l'auriez perdu aussi. (Je sais que j'aurais)
Essayez de ne pas vous concentrer sur vos 4 jours de rechute mais plutôt sur vos 189 jours d'abstinence (Gf). À mon avis, c'est ce moment qui compte et c'est là qu'il faut revenir.
Je n'en suis qu'au troisième jour, j'ai donc beaucoup de rattrapage à faire avant d'en arriver là. Garde la tête haute!

[Rdy4Chng]

Ik lees net je draadje en het spijt me dat je terugvalt.

Het laat alleen maar zien dat er zelfs na zoveel tijd nog steeds die mogelijkheid is om te gokken. We moeten altijd de keuze maken om niet te gokken. We weten niet wanneer we NEE moeten zeggen. Als u meer geld ter beschikking had gehad, is de kans groot dat u dat ook kwijt zou zijn. (Ik weet dat ik zou hebben)
Probeer je niet te concentreren op je 4 dagen terugval, maar focus je liever op je 189 dagen nuchter (Gf). Naar mijn mening is het die tijd die ertoe doet en dat is waar je naar terug moet.
Ik ben pas op dag 3, dus ik heb nog veel in te halen om zelfs maar op dat punt te komen. Hou je hoofd omhoog!

[Rdy4Chng]

Просто читаю вашу тему, і мені шкода, що ви повторилися.

Це просто свідчить про те, що навіть після такої кількості часу все ще є така можливість грати в азартні ігри. Ми завжди повинні робити вибір, щоб не грати в азартні ігри. Ми не знаємо, коли сказати НІ. Якби у вас було більше грошей, є велика ймовірність, що ви теж це втратили б. (Я знаю, що мав би)
Намагайтеся не зосереджуватися на чотирьох днях рецидиву, а скоріше зосередьтеся на своїх 189 днях тверезих (Gf). На мою думку, саме цей час має значення, і саме сюди потрібно повернутися.
Я тільки на третій день, тому мені потрібно ще багато наздогнати, щоб навіть дійти до цього. Не опускай голови!

[Rdy4Chng]

I am committed to quitting gambling. I don’t think I could have really said that before. Or at least not in the past 3-6 months or so.
Last night I read through my thread and I realize I’ve been here before. When I look at it, I feel like this is the third chapter of really trying. All the stuff in between was just me chasing and not going for a day or so but not really committed to trying.
In September I was doing so good. I was at 16 days. But something I read here was actually what made me think it was ok to “try” to gamble again. I read people saying, relapse is part of recovery. It was a blip in my recovery. And so I told myself if I went, I could just call it a “blip”, a minor roadblock. But the thing is it was so much more than that.
I don’t remember if I won or lost that night but it doesn’t matter because either way I know I kept gambling. Whether it was to win more or chase my losses but either way it wasn’t a blip. It was a calculated decision I made to gamble.
I know I need to be honest with my family but I think I ultimately have to be honest with myself first. I am back on here, writing everyday to keep myself accountable. I have made a calendar to keep track of days as well as keep track of triggers and to track my spending. I really want this time to be different.

[Rdy4Chng]

I completely understand. I’ve lost $2000 in about an hour before. Then you walk out thinking how the f*** did I just let that happen?? But we did. We did let it happen.
I’ve been trying to stop for lets say 2 years. For a long time, I guess I didn’t really want to stop either. It’s fun! (haha, nope it’s really not). I have felt sick about my losses. Almost thrown up thinking about it. Thought about suicide. It really does get that bad.
One thing I am learning and I’ve read it over and over again is that we lose when we place our FIRST bet. It’s that first one that gets us, because it never stops there. The first leads to the second leads to $400 gone. It wasn’t the last spin that lost, it was the first one. Ever doing it in the first place.
I am only right now trying AGAIN. I am on day 3. Sorry if I am rambling but I think talking to others who understand and possibly helping others is what will in turn help me.
Stay strong. Look to the future, not the past.

[Rdy4Chng]

I’ve been thinking a lot this evening about your post and I think I reacted too quickly. I’m sure in more ways than 1 I have upset my husbands life. I get it, that is the crash. 

I do want to be honest but I am really scared. How do you tell someone what a fuck up you are?

[Rdy4Chng]

I would also like to know how to make it longer than 1 day gamble free. I have made it to 16 days once, thats the longest Ive gone.
I’m hoping for longer this time around.

[Rdy4Chng]

I understand your pain. There were times at the casino when I would win $5000 and still leave with nothing. There were many times I would be down $1000, win it back only to lose it and withdraw another $1000 – losing that too.
It is an awful addiction and I actually think gambling should be illegal.
I am still in recovery and I do not know the answers. All I know is we are not alone in this. Everyone here has the same story and as someone once said we all have the same outcome – LOSS.
I have said before I am a really rational person but when it comes to gambling I am completely irrational. I don’t understand how it gets its claws into us but somehow it does.
Best wishes to you in your recovery. Stopping is easy. Staying stopped is the trick.

[Author]

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