[pumkin113b]

Hi Vera — WTG on banning!!!!!!! I also had enough and just banned myself yesterday! I found an attendant and he had to get the manager — took forever (sound familiar?) — also the attendant said he was strictly unable to give out any kind of advice including the hotline number to patrons — go figure. He confided that he also struggles from a gambling problem (other casinos he not working at) and actually said he wished he had the guts I did to ban himself! What a wicked disease. Anyway congrats Vera!!!!!!!!  You’re a rockstar 🙂   Pumkin113b

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Hi Phillip — Just read your thread and you are doing great! I know your struggle and am right there with you. I just self banned yesterday. I have fought doing this for so long but once I did it has come as a huge relief! I have even noticed I’ve been thinking today about saving for this or for that and I haven’t done that for a long time because all I did was try not to spend any money so I would have "enough" to gamble with. I have had a long hard road to get to here — so many failures but it will only take suceeding once to be on the right road to life again. Stay strong Phillip you’re doing great!   Pumkin113b

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Yesterday I self banned from the local casino. In fact my husband and I both self banned. It is a HUGE relief. My mind is not so muddled now because whenever the thoughts come I just think too bad I’m banned and cannot go. Now when I think that I get some real relief for awhile! Of course I always wanted to quit — who wants to be a GA? But truthfully I think all this time I still thought there was some way to have it all — control my gambling and still be able to go once in awhile for fun. That was the big illusion for me. That and that crazy dream of the big win! I’ve had all the big wins I want now. Money is not going to solve my problems, worries, anxiety. Look at all those out there that are stinking rich and they still have tons of problems and/or are unhappy. Now I know — I will never be able to control my gambling and I don’t need a big win because I am successful and can reach for anything I want if I put my mind to it. I have taken back some control by signing those papers and banning myself. I know it is not going to be easy……..but I’m doing it now! It has just been one too many horrible sickening self inflicted situations. Finally enough is REALLY enough. 

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Hi Jean — Wanted to let you know yesterday I self banned from the casino. Your strength and spirit helped me greatly in finally taking this step. I’ll be writing about in my journal too but just wanted to let you know how grateful I am for knowing you.     Pumkin113b

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Hi Geordie — Yeah I’m doing the counseling thing too. It does help just taking time.
Reworking some med issues now and hopefully that will help me stay away.
Day 10 today. Last few days have been tough but now they’re done and I’ll move on.  

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Hi Bettie — Hope you’re feeling better today. Love your pledge! You worked hard for that money and you deserve to have only good and enjoyable things for yourself come out of it.    Pumkin

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Hi Bettie — Thank you for your post and your wise advice "Beware the drama thats going on with the family."   I am treading cautiously as I want to help my brother out however I can but not to the detriment of my recovery. I think I have a good grasp on it right now — I know I just need to find out what I can and am able to do to help and the rest will be what it is. Thanks again for you wise words as I appreciate your concern and advice.  Best,  Pumkin

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Hi Bettie — Your posts made me cry today. What a lovely sensitive sweet lady you are. I can relate to so much of what you have been saying about feeling disconnected. My husband is right next to me and love is still elusive! I am trying hard to be in the here and now but I have so many practised years of shutting myself off it is not easy. What I know is I cant be content with hiding anymore. There is pain in this world but there is pleasure and love also. I guess you cant have one without the other. This morning I waved to a friend and they did not respond back. My first thought was they hate me. This is of course ridiculous. Its always been nice chatting to you and reading your posts — there is nothing there not to like bettie! Believe in yourself — stay strong 🙂   Pumkin

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Love it bettie — maybe the good times are just starting — what a powerful and happy thought!    Pumkin

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Hi Bettie — Thanks so much for your post! You are a wise women and hopefully I will learn much from you 🙂 sooner rather than later……..    Pumkin

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Hi Bettie —
It was nice seeing you in chat yesterday! Wow you really did have a rough day of it, huh? Good on you for staying strong 🙂 Stress from dealing with others is a big trigger for me. It’s rough for me to be around anyone not having a good time of it. One of the things you talked about yesterday has really stuck with me. Your insights into people pleasing — so right on. You know on all of those questionaires I have always checked that what others think doesn’t bother me at all. What a load of crap! I wished that was so but really I am a big people pleaser all the way to taking on the problems of others as if I caused them and am responsible if they are not fixed for them. I am a caring person but I have to be cognizant enough to not take it on personally.     
Thanks Bettie and keep on keeping on!   
Pumkin

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