[phillip2235]

Very true Geordie,
I think im going to try using this site first, then if necessary and if im comfortable enough then start GA.  I really want to do it right this time.  Ive tried stoping before rushed everything and then crashed back to gambling.  Trying to change the way i think….hopefully by writing i find out more about myself.
it’s hard to have people know my issue because everyone thinks i’m perfect….hate for them to know the truth, some would love to know that i have this problem
 

[phillip2235]

Geordie,
No i never tried GA because i’m a very quite person.  I’m not the type that can go and talk about my issues face to face with someone.  That’s why it’s so great i ve found this place because i can let everything out without having any see me.  Weird huh?  Geordie, how long have u been gambling free, u said about 6 months right?  Has it been hard?  I think im going to come to this site at least a couple of ***** each week so i can read over all my post and remember what it was like so when i have the urge to gambling i can know that the result will always be negative.  Thanks everyone here, it really has help me. 
 

[phillip2235]

Thanks Gordie and Reemy,
I really will do my best this time…..my life depends on it.  Like i said before last weekend after losing 13k at the casino (not my first time losing that much) i wanted to drive off the bridge coming home. 
When it’s been part of your life for so long, it’s so hard to not think about it.  I wish someone can just wipe my mind clear of all the gambing memories.  I know that it’s all within me to change so today my 3rd day of gamble free i will promise to do my best to stop.  I just need to let the past go and try to build a future.  And i know there can be not future with gambling.  I’ve banned myself from the casino today hope it works. it’s been 18 years of gambing, im 36 now…..need to stop .  I will continue to post here daily and ask for support.  I really means al ot everyone giving me advise because this is the only place i can talk about this.  GOD bless everyone and hope everyone have the power to let go of this monster call gambing addiction.

[phillip2235]

Thanks everyone for your support.  I woke up this morning thinking about the casino again.  Thinking where did it go wrong, when did going just for fun turn into a nightmare of getting that high.  I then did a small prayer and ask a higher power to help me lose the temptation lose the craving lose the high i get(this must be how **** addicts feels).  I really don’t even know how to live a nomal life anymore.   Everything seems so boring to me.  I guess when you’ve been thru this from 18 until 36 it really screws with your mind.  This time i really want to change, i really want to know what it’s like to have normal life gambing free…..i just wish i had the willpower to do it this time.  Thanks for everyone support, this is the only place i can talk about this, no one knows how deeply a gambler i am.
Hugsss
phillip

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