[peacegirl]

After 5 years of my mess too, I am only 2 weeks gamble free as well, so as you said we are both kind of in this together same timing and all!! It does get worse each time I gamble, so you know what, we just have to stop- keep moving forward each day, hopeful that we will have a bright day! Don’t give up, we can’t give up, if we do then we are giving in to it in a way.. We will get through this but as stated above only if we do it on a day to day basis.. I can’t keep looking back (although I am in a way, trying to recover from the mistakes and money loss ect) but at some point we have to not look back or foward, just today! You are doing good!! It’s okay whatever emotions we have, it’s okay:)

[peacegirl]

Hi Vera, I did respond- don’t know where it went, but I was never going to buy the slot machine, I played free slots online once and it lead to me going to the casino and wasting a pile of REAL money!! I know what all that leads too, thanks for caring:) Today is 2 weeks since my binge- where I realized all must change and I can’t do this anymore EVER, and for that I just have been taking it ODAAT, and today was gamble free, so it was a good day, despite all the ups and downs of life! Hope everyone is well and has a good gamble free weekend!

[peacegirl]

Out at a thrift store, I saw a slot machine for sale, and I wondered as well if I had it in my house would it even appeal to me at all. I thought maybe it would be fun a little, but I would likely tire of it easily. Why is that we don’t tire of the machine in a casino where our money goes in and never comes out!! Strange..

[peacegirl]

another day coming to a close, worked hard today and am very tired! Didn’t gamble:) ODAAT..

[peacegirl]

just keep moving forward odaat

[peacegirl]

I see the group highlighted in grey but I can’t get into it for some reason? Can anyone tell me what I am doing wrong. Thanks Vera, would like to be in group if I could get into it:(

[peacegirl]

It’s lovely outside, I have health issue so I woke up very dizzy, but am glad I feel much better now. I have 2 dogs and one is acting up when we leave home. She is 8 and the sweetest thing ever, but she doesn’t like the little one I have now, and she gets upset when we leave and they are together. She never has messed with anything in the house, and she is shredding paper, trying to get into room and scratching at the doors on the bottom real bad and even got on the dining table and tore some stuff up. So weird we thought it was the little dog, but our little dog has no nails due to a rare immune condition, and we saw claw marks, so we know it’s my older one. We had the new dog over a year now, don’t understand why she is acting out! I am still trying to move forward each day, trying to make up for losses by working extra hard although I’m sad because I should have money to travel with family this summer, but not sure it’s going to happen! My fault though, I totally have to learn new ways to deal with stress, gambling is never the answer. The strange thing is sometimes I dont feel stress before I head out to gamble, I am not sure what makes me do it, but am trying to search for things on deeper levels that make me do the things I do…So again for today I am not gambling just taking it ODAAT.. All the best to whoever is reading this and has a hard time too! We are not alone..

[peacegirl]

Each day reminds me that it’s a new day without gambling. As I ran some errands and drove past the huge billboards for the casinos plastered everywhere, I again renewed my determination to just keep on pushing forward and knowing that deep within my heart I want to stop for good!! But I know now it’s just one day at a time, so for today I will not gamble, and I wish everyone the very best gamble free day! I still believe life is so beautiful out there- I just have to keep on the right path..

[peacegirl]

I think when I first came here in Feb,and talked to everyone and then banned myself and thought well now I am done, that I felt for some reason that I didn’t need to keep posting.. I actually lost the way to get on here, and it wasn’t until 2 months later when I fell and fell hard, that I realized, and realize now that we have this outlet to use each day as we move forward and we are never “done.” We are compulsive gamblers and will always have to guard ourselves. I see that now. I am humbled realizing I have no power, that I can’t just say I am done and expect no urges or things to come up. So, I understand why we post- but it does impress me when someone is gamble free for 3 years and still posting! I think it’s amazing and wonderful that they never loose that thought in their head that we are just one little bet away from being right back to square one. For myself with the passing of time, I often forget and I just hope in 3 years I am still here, still posting and still taking it ODAAT! All the best Cat and everyone else too!

[peacegirl]

Ican, I have my own accounts too- but when I gamble I gamble huge amounts I took forever to save and it’s just so horrible! I think it’s better in some ways to not have our own money, so that we can’t have that as even an option! It’s terrible how many of us are wiping out our savings and things we worked so hard for in just one or several gambling visits or over time slowly, it’s so hard to recover! Anyway, I am right there with you, I wish I had a way to poof, just make money quickly so I could build up that savings- but that is how our minds get messed up and we gamble! We have to just go the regular pace and make it as we go..Hang in there!

[peacegirl]

I’m beginning to wonder if I am going through the dreaded womans “change of life.” I feel much more moody then my usual cheery self and some days like today just feel like I can’t quite cope with life.. Other symptoms too, so I guess I am 42- this is not helping me wanting to escape to a place that I can hide! Unfortunately the negative things that come from “escaping” to a casino are so terrible and costly that when I think of gambling these days all I think about is pain and that overshadows the feeling of “fun” that I thought it was, or escape or whatever it is that I was doing while I gamble!! Today is tough, I feel like a roller coaster emotionally, but hopefully tomorrow will be better! So as the day goes on, I just resolve over and over not to go gamble.. Appreicate all the input too:) You all are great!

[peacegirl]

I feel like gambling today- I’m tired of trying to recover money I lost by doing extra work, or selling extra items ect ect.. BUT I am NOT going to give in, so instead I will have to dig a little deeper and somehow find a way to pick myself up by the boot straps and keep moving on!! You are right Vera, if I would gamble I would loose more money, because even if I win I can’t stop, so that makes no sense anyway! So, game plan for today is to get some extra work done, and do the best I can!! ODAAT and for today I will not gamble…

[peacegirl]

I really like that you say that it’s no matter how long we are gamble free in between times, we are just one bet away! I myself have just fallen after over 2 months of no gambling and banning from the main one, and thinking in my own mind I would never do it again. Then I fell last weekend, went on a huge 2 day binge, and couldn’t believe myself. Even while doing it I couldn’t believe it. Now I realize there is no amount of time that takes it completely away. ODAAT…

[peacegirl]

Today is another bright morning, but I still feel the doom and gloom from the binge gambling I did over a week ago- finacially it is just a nightmare! I am trying to do all I can to recover in that area, but I feel like for the past 5 years I have gotten nowhere finacially, and I know that is true because every time I just keep messing up and then have to dig out and it’s a cycle I hope ends and I don’t repeat again! I know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, so does that mean I am insane, and all of us here that do it over and over are lol.. I don’t think so, but I do think I, we have to break this cycle once and for all… Easier said then done, but I am going to stay as determined as I possibly can. Doesn’t mean I don’t think about gambling, to win a big amount quick- would be nice, but it never happens. No amount is ever big enough, it all goes right back in and then loose even more! Well, hope everyone has a good gamble free day!!

[peacegirl]

The first step you just took! It’s admitting you have a problem and going somewhere to find a solution! We are all here because we all have the same problem and we need to stop.. Next step is to find some help, go to GA or talk to a counselor, or just keep on here all the time, it helps me so much. Make a committment on any given day to not gamble for that day, and then the next do to the same thing, and just keep moving forward! We all mess up, it’s not going to be easy, but you will eventually learn to like yourself again! This is like a disease, we do things we would never do under normal circumstances, so please know we are all here for you, to share and to care! Keep coming here and posting!!! It has done so good for me!

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