[paul315]

Betty,
Thanks for keeping me in mind, and yes I am reading your post and responding to it from home. It is nice to be connected via my own connection once again.
I see that there has been a few new members during my limited visits, if any read this, I hope that you will all benefit from the same type help and encouragement that I have received here, help that has keep me gambling free and working on recovery. Not gambling is not to hard – if it is done one day at a time and you keep putting off any urges to gamble until the following day; then just like in shampoo instructions, repeat this each day. Working on recovery is a little harder; you must accept the truth and do things that causes needed changes in your life and character that are contrary to the way “you” have been acting and living. But, the reward is worth the effort.
God’s speed to all.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie

9 days and counting …

Good morning Betty,
I am sitting at Micky D’s using their wifi catching up on a little in the world of cyberspace. Reading your post about the "days" remind me of the days I counted off when I first started on this program of recovery – before that I never made it to nine days; I made it to 7 a few times, the time between checks. But like GA ask us to do in our recovery, "Be patient …", I am being patient in waiting for phone and Internet service. Even in being patient, I have been able to rush the connection a bit; I should now be on line on the 3rd.
The last time my Internet access was limited this much it was for reasons out of my control too; the limitations were due to the all the time I had to be at the casino. The time before that was due to a natural disaster, a so called "Act of God". Now thanks to each day of being gambling free, and to a true Act of God, I take each change and challenge placed upon me in stride without the need to gamble.  My cyber connection my be interrupted, but my connection to all those here is strong.
Hope all is going well for you and the others here. I know that things have been ruff for some, but also know that being patient will lead to a more satisfying result.
God’s speed. 
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Good morning all,
Another morning at a cyber cafe trying to catch up on everyone, and just as important, trying to work on my recovery. My being absent from the GT site and even missing my last GA meeting has cause me to have the same thoughts as DD posted about "I think that I am better". Thinking that since I have stayed gambling free while being away from any daily contact that it is "I" that is the one who is stronger and can overcome any urges that might send me back to gambling; that "I" can control gambling. And although I regret that she has slipped, I am grateful for her account of her actions; stories like these and post from all the new members help keep me aware of where I would be if I depended on my own self will – I need my recovery program to keep me gambling free, it is "it" and not I that is working in my life.
I might not need a daily connection or a meeting every week, but I do need a consistent contact. There may be times that I cannot log on or attend meetings, but I can keep aware of the fact that it is my 3 Gs that keep me.
Thank you all. And thanks to Collin’s post bout "No Coincidence":
"When you look through the stories here you will see a lot of success.
It’s NO coincidence that those who are successful CONTINUE to use the support they have here,
It’s NO coincidence that those who are successful listen to, and act on, the advice that is given
It’s NO coincidence that those who are successful are honest with their husbands/wives/partners
It’s NO coincidence that those who are successful often use, and continue to use other forms of support, attend GA meetings etc
Its NO coincidence that those who are successful are prepared to take tough steps to help themselves
Unfortunately it’s also NO coincidence that people who stop using the forum often return in deeper trouble than they were to start with
That those who struggle aren’t prepared to be honest with husbands/wives/partners
That they don’t act on advice
That they give reasons/excuses why they can’t do something
That even though what they are doing isn’t working they aren’t prepared to try GA or other forms of support
That they aren’t prepared to take some of the tougher steps required to deal with a tough addiction.
I don’t believe in coincidences, nor should you. 
If you are struggling then look at what is working for someone else – it’s working for a reason and it isn’t a coincidence. 
 If you are doing well and think you don’t need support anymore?  Look at the people who have previously thought that and return here on an almost daily basis – that isn’t a coincidence either."
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware. Use your Higher Power, actively participate in the programs that can help you.
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Good morning 
Betty, I just logged on at a local coffee shop and your post greeted me, it was a nice morning treat. 
It has been a few day since I have logged on and I am slowing catching up on the post I have missed. I am doing good, still gambling free and working on my recovery program. It is quite different for me to read hard copies of the few publications I have and not being able to link to any other references. I am going to have to add a 4th "G" to my group of helping sources; Google. Being able to surf to other areas is a benefit in meditating and keeping aware.
I am finally getting settled in to my new apartment, I keep rearranging things trying to get the right feel; in the efficiency one it didn’t make much difference which corner I put things. I still have to wait until November 9 to have phone and Internet service; don’t miss the phone but I do miss Internet service, it is my connection to the world, both my friends here and my family in other locations. It is a strange thing to me to be living in a large city in the USA, and having to wait over a month for phone service.
Hopefully I will be posting more regularly soon. Until then, stay strong, keep aware.
God’s speed.
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by vera

is this only for your own use or can others peply Larry?

No, this is for ALL replies. 
I tried to edit my first post so that it would not be the first thing I saw when I replied to my own. Not that I don’t want it to be seen, it is just a collection of a lot of post that is way to long to show up each time.  In doing that I duplicated the change a couple of times and added a couple of blank pages. and it still shows up unedited when I quote; As you can see I am not too savvy about  computer use — but I do have my web Cam on you – lol.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

[paul315]

[paul315]

God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware.
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

 
Originally posted by paul315
Replies to this post from me will now be a continuation of my Journal.            

I moved my first post with all of it’s inserts to a post on Aug 14.  It was getting too long to be shown each time I made a reply to it. I replace it with a copy of the poem that helped me to find q way to recovery with all here:
Fellow gambler, take my hand;
I’m your friend, I understand.
I’ve known your guilt, your shame, remorse;
I’ve borne the burden of your cross.
 
I found a friend who offered ease;
He suffered, too, with this disease.
Although he had no magic cure,
He showed how we could endure.

We walked together side by side;
We spoke of things we had to hide.
We told of sleepless nights and debts,
Of broken homes and lies and threats.

And so my weary gambler friend,
Please take this hand that I extend.
Take one more chance on something new,
Another gambler helping you.
                                 
 

Author unknown
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

 
Originally posted by paul315
Replies to this post from me will now be a continuation of my Journal.            

I moved my first post with all of it’s inserts to a post on Aug 14.  It was getting too long to be shown each time I made a reply to it. I replace it with a copy of the poem that helped me to find q way to recovery with all here:
Fellow gambler, take my hand;
I’m your friend, I understand.
I’ve known your guilt, your shame, remorse;
I’ve borne the burden of your cross.
 
I found a friend who offered ease;
He suffered, too, with this disease.
Although he had no magic cure,
He showed how we could endure.

We walked together side by side;
We spoke of things we had to hide.
We told of sleepless nights and debts,
Of broken homes and lies and threats.

And so my weary gambler friend,
Please take this hand that I extend.
Take one more chance on something new,
Another gambler helping you.
                                 
 

Author unknown
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by paul315

…I cannot let recovery control by life like gambling did, I can only let it guide me …
The above line came from what I thought was to be the beginning of me posting more more often about my everyday life. However, that brief thought was interrupted by my actually living life and being more busy than I have been in quite some time. I was reminded of this post and my intent by Tim’s post about going forward with his life, so I will try to start again, but can only try.  My post in "Our Daily Pledge" comes natural after a time of meditation and "googling" subject matters pertaining to gambling, and my replies to others is an extension of that process and is also reminders and guidance for my own actions. But for me to journal an account of my daily, of even periodic, actions seams to take more effort then I care to extend (If I would curtail my thoughts it would not be a big effort).
I am also taking this time to welcome the new members that have joined during my busy time; a belated welcome to you all – My name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was August 13, 2009. 
However, today I want to post about my activities. The reason is that it is testimony to my being in recovery and how it has allowed me to enjoy the past days. First, as I have mentioned in the chat rooms, I am moving. I don’t have a lot of things or accumulated stuff, but packing it is still occupying time between the other events. My move does have a big drawback; I will be without readily access to the Internet, I will have to go to "hot spots’ for the next few weeks.  It is hard to believe that hooking up new phone service in a large city of the USA can take 7 weeks to get to – I would think that all they would have to do is flip a switch.
Another thing that has been keeping me busy and away from this site is that I am helping my son-in-law work on additions to their home. Not only is this time consuming, but recuperating from actually doing work and manual labor is a big thing for a old man. Nevertheless, the pleasure in helping is worth every blister and sore mussel.
Now about the thing that has been keeping me busy the most. I have been helping my wife in France work on a paper for her work. It has to be done in English so she is sending be part of her work each day for me to make suggestions and changes to her infrequently used English. Not only is it to be in English, but some of the Queen’s English is needed and not just America’s version or that from the lads in the respective pubs and bars. So I find myself depending on a "4th G", here again I am using ‘G’oogle a lot. Doing this to me is a huge thrill, and her asking offers even a greater feeling.  It is a cross between my making amends and a virtual being there when she needs something.  Not returning to my life there and leaving her with the responsibilities of being a single parent, is one thing that still haunts me. I know that this is not opening a door for reconciliations, but it is opening the door for going forward. 
So this is an account of my past days; and even more it is an account of the results of my living gambling free – neither gambling or recovery is controlling my life, being gambling free is letting be live it.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettieIt’s one thing to know where you want to go-it’s another thing entirely to have the Wisdom to get there….
Looking for the Wisdom
Betty, in your search for wisdom look into the different programs of this site. They may not be new to you, but even so looking at what they offer may give you some new ideas. http://www.dhs.state.il.us/page.aspx?item=30327
Larry
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by Kathryn
… I cant remember posting so much as i have this weekend, and ive enjoyed every bit. ..
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

Good morning Kathryn,
You may not remember, but I can remember reading the many post you have made, Reading about your life, your overcoming the urges and struggles, and your enjoying the things that being gambling free brought you, is one of the ways that helped be carry on, helped me know that there was a better life and that I did not have to give in to any urges.
Keep enjoying your blessings every day. Keep posting whenever and as mush as you can; your post are still an enjoyment to read and they still help me.
God’s speed.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie to paul315

… I will stay out of the f&f forum …
 
Good evening Betty,
Thanks for your post in my topic. I have responded to most of it there, but will also reply to some here and be a critic to the part of your post about visiting the F&F forum.  If there is ever any reason for you to stay away from the F&F forum let the moderators of GT or the F&F members be the deciding factor. Crossover post, for lack of a better term, are found in each forum and give only reason for thought and sometimes discussion; maybe even confusion, but not the uproar that you feel.  After all we are all human with individual perceptions and interpretations and an interchange of these ideas helps us grow go forward.
As for your apology to me, none is needed, I have never read anything it the post here that caused me distress; on the contrary, the post here have helped me overcome the distress caused by my compulsive gambling.
Continue on with your sharing and your recovery, your post show that you are growing and that your efforts are paying off. Even if you journey seams like a roller coaster ride, the climb will keep you alert of what is coming at the crest, and the drop will keep your adrenaline flowing for the nest climb; at the end you will find a level platform for you to get off and go on with your life.
God’s speed. Stay strong.    
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie

I feel you are fighting demons,
 

Betty, thanks for your post and your concern and we are all fighting demons everyday; some days, thankfully most days, I find that the demons are not so prevalent but as you know, they still exist and must be dealt with. I have dealt with the recent upsurge of attacks, thanks to my friends at GA and here, and especially your presence the other night, and I am back at working on my recovery instead of battling the demons. I do find this to be a mental process and that an attitude of heading toward a better life (working recovery) is better than one of running away from the past one (surviving by only fighting the demons).
I have found a lot of advice on how to handle the situation I was in, from should-not-have-gone, to the sharing of other’s fears of not being able to survive the circumstances. Although we are all critics in a way, I do not consider any of the input to be criticism or fault findings; it is a showing of care and concern. I accept that my thoughts on how I go about living a better life may differ from others, but the differences end there. We are all in this journey together and all share the same goal – to be free of gambling and live a better life; or as Kathryn reminds us in her closings with Peter Pan’s thoughts, "To live, that would be a great adventure". I find the the adventures of life, both the good and the challenging, to be far better than the mere existing in the gambler’s world; but to enjoy these wonders, I have to step out and experience life. In doing so I cannot live in fear, I can only rely on faith in myself and my Higher Power, I cannot let recovery control by life like gambling did, I can only let it guide me.
There my be a few somewhat academic differences in my views and those of GA, however, I find that the qualifying phrases, "of my own understanding" and "To the best of my ability" found in the GA principles, keep me in line with the intent of the program, and on tract with it’s goal – "a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from a gambling problem".
 
A reply to other portions of your post here can be found in your topic. 
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

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