[paul315]

“If this is your first visit why not take your time and have a browse around the site”

This is not my first visit to the site (have been a member for the past four plus years), but it is my first visit to the new format now in use so I too will have to browse around the site to learn my way in taking this fork-in-the-road during my journey.

The new site might look strange to me and others, but for the new comers it is as it should be – they do not have the past look to compare it to, and I am sure that we can adjust to this change and recognize the help and support remains the same; after all is “Principles before personalities”, or in this case principles before format.

Keep up the good work GT, and thanks for all that you do.

Larry aka paul315

[paul315]

Originally posted by cat438

 
One day at a time my sweet lord…
Today I am adding another day to my *****. It is my bellybutton  Birthday, and one that I would not be celebrating if not for the gambling free anniversaries that I have celebrated here and at my GA meeting.  Today my Daily Pledge to not gamble was not made in vain.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep checking off the days of September.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by governor2012… But what’s done is done. I’ve been in denial for some time now. I thought I was in control. I thought I could stop anytime I wanted. I thought I could go with a limit on betting. But I can’t. I’ve got a problem and I realize that now. I’m going to get my life back … 
Good evening Governor, welcome to GT, a place where getting your life back can provide a road map to follow. It is found in the postings of others and the advice that you find in learning about their journey — you are not alone.
My name is Larry and I too am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was October 17, 2011, a bet after over 4 yers of being gambling free and attempting to throw the Hail Mary pass that Danchester referred to, a desperate act that ended in not only an interception but a lost of the game and a setback in the standings.   Now I am working more at getting my life back and living gambling free instead of just being gambling free. Both is a One Day At A Time process, but I feel that working towards a real life that is gambling free is better than just working at stopping gambling.  We have all stopped gambling many ***** before when in denial, it was easy, but now that you know that you are a CG its will be a big help in moving forward and correcting the things that this addiction feeds on — the way to combat the addiction is to make changes in your character, lifestyle, and way of thinking.
Interceptions may be part of the game, but once they happen it is like you say, it happened and its over — recovery is progress not perfection, and progress is moving the ball forward in spite of any loss of yardage.
God’s speed, use your Higher Power to guide and strengthen you.
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by Luna

Dear diary This is the beginning… A new life choice. A new way to live … 
Good morning Luna, and a belated welcome to GT, a place where we can learn to strengthen our resolve to live a new life and find ways to keep making the right choices. One we come to accept that our live have been unmanageable by this addiction, we can then start making our own choices, making the right choice each day.
My name is Larry and I too am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was October 27, 2012, a bet made after over three years of being gambling free when I found myself in the right set of circumstances and unguarded, a position that your thoughts have been drawing you to; but take warning from the actions of others and stay strong and keep on not gambling — the first next bet is the one to not make at all.
You are already using some of the better tools for holding true to you desire, you are journaling each day – writing in your diary about your ups and downs, and keeping track of your progress to go back to as a reminder of were you were and where you are today — "recovery is progress, not perfection". You are also turning to your Higher Power for strength and guidance — will power and self knowledge alone will not help as much as adherence to spiritual principles and a positive programs. As Kathryn posted to you a few days ago, " have you thought about extra support such as GA? It is so difficult to fight on your own. Not only can you talk to others, you may make some friends, it can really enhance your recovery and you may not feel so lonely" — you are not alone in your thoughts and past mistakes, you also need not be alone in our journal. This site is a great help, but a live group will make it even greater. And if you have yet to visit the live online chat rooms here, log on and use them to share in your thoughts and struggles.
You also mention that you are really ready for change, a change from gambling over the past ten years to not gambling is only possible by making changes to any character faults that the addiction feeds on — "without change there will be no change". Look at you life and lifestyle, and at you finer character traits – your spiritual make up; work at enhancing these qualities of your life as you allow changes to the lessor ones. When you stop feeding your addiction with these weaknesses as well as not allowing it additional footholds into your daily life by gambling again "for just one more time", you will find that recovery will continue and you will be living a better live with better thoughts.
Sorry for the long post, and the belated welcome. I do not post as often as I have before (but I still keep my personal diary and make my daily pledge to not gamble, and read the other post), so when I do post I tend to babble on as I did in the past. But I hope you get something from my rantings that will help you.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep posting and reach out even more to other that are combating these same feelings. 
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by Kathryn
… post edited by kathryn.

Good morning Cat, Vera, and Kathryn – plus the others that may read and wish to join in on a pact to not gamble during the 30 days of September, a pledge to not gamble One Day At A Time.
Today I join this pact and renew my Daily Pledge to not gamble, not one bet, not one cent or token.  I am looking forward to celebrating another birthday during this month (Sep 7) not being controlled by this addiction. Too many birthdays were wasted away at the casino, too many excuses and lies told to loved ones and friends as to why I was leaving a normal celebration early.
Seeing the words "edited by" reminded me that while we cannot edit our past as we can our post, we can still edit the negative thoughts the may cause us to make future mistakes, changing them to positive actions.  When urges or temptations tell us to give gambling a try, we can "Take The Time To Think Things Through" (the 7 Ts of recovery), or as some say "play the tape through to the end" where we again end up facing the same old consequences and heart aches, we can do this before we venture back out into the gambling world.
God’s speed. Stay Strong. Keep aware.
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by vera
… Early to bed and early to rise … 

Good afternoon Vera, and any others reading my post — FIRST POST FOR A WHILE, but not the least, Vera
Everything is going good with the gambling issues, and fairly well with the rest of my life; of course not gambling, and working on a recovery/life change program makes the other parts better. 
I too go to bed relatively early and get up early as well. Only problem with that is while I feel the need to retire at a early time, I find myself wide awake, yet still tried in the middle of the night. Thanks goodness that the reason is not related to question 17 of GA’s 20 Questions, and I do not find an urge to go out and kill some of my nighttime waking hours at a casino.
Even thought age is creeping up on me, my 60-plus-quite-a-few-years birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, it seams that I still only need 6-7 hours sleep each night so when I go to bed early I get the sleep I need before morning, even when I find myself lying awake after my old age middle-of-night nature call.  This time in the still of the night is good for meditating; but, it is also good for too much thinking about what gambling has cost.
I know we need to let things  go, but in the" wee small hours of the morning"* you sometimes not only think pleasant thoughts, but you also end up counting troubles instead of sheep. After fatigue sets back in and I get a few more hours sleep before starting my day thankful that I did not gamble the one before and hopeful that I will not gamble during the new day; starting my day making my "Daily Pledge". 
So all in all things are well. I hope and pray that the same goes for the others here as well.
God’s speed. Stay Strong. Keep aware.
*  If you find yourself up in the wee small hours and turn to music, here is a song for you at this link, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqCLsp5owY8.
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

 
Originally posted by Velvet 
… We know the addiction to gamble has no cure and if we thought there was one, then we would not be accepting the addiction …      
 
 
Good morning all, both my fellow gamblers and others from the Friends & Family side,
My name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was October 17, 20012.
 
Today holds a lot of emotion for me as well as reasons to celebrate some aspects of my recovery.  Firstly, I am again starting my day by celebrating not gambling yesterday, and having sincere hopes and a strong desire to not gamble today — it is a One Day At A Time process.
 
Following that, today is my 4 year anniversary of joining Gambling Therapy.  However, joining was not for me to start my journey of recovery, that came the following day. I mentioned in the past my reasons for going online and searching out a source that offered help in gambling problems, but will repeat them here today.  I felt that I needed to associate myself with an organization as a justifiable defense against some check fraud charges that I was facing — an act I now see as one of a compulsive gambler’s "great schemes".  After joining GT and documenting my efforts to get help I felt so good that I went out to celebrate, need I say that the way I choose was to gamble — again an act I now can connect to the Gamblers Anonymous program in that it was my SHOUTING out a strong yes to their Question19 of the "Twenty Questions", "Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?".
 
So today is also the eve of a most significant event of my life. After spending the entire day of August 12, 2009 and continuing throughout the entire night on a gambling binge where I only dug myself in deeper and allowed for even more suffering and misery. I then started on a true journey of recovery. The gambling and great loss may have been the last straw the helped lead up to this new beginning, but the one thing that was the real turning point was my decision to not end it all by stepping into an oncoming Metro train — again a yes answer to GA’s 20 Questions,  #20, "Did you ever consider self destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling?".   
 
I instead got on the train and returned home a broken man in search of help. It was then that I logged onto GT and was given the advice that has helped me progress by my starting to use the 3G’s that I mention in all of my closings here, I was told to join GA. I searched out a meeting place, and found one right around the corner of my apartment. Four days later on that Monday night of August 17, 2009, I went to my first meeting.  For GA the 17th was my "clean date" but I unknowingly used the 13 as it was my actual "last day" to gamble, or my clean date at that time. But for me, the day I celebrate above all others is still Aug 13, 2009; even though I gambling again and had to change my GA clean date".
 
But it all began 4 years ago today when I thought I was being so smart with an attempt to get over by joining GT, when actually my scheme was a hidden blessing that opened the door for me to accept my addiction and work at keeping it arrested as I progress day by day — "Compulsive gambling is an illness, progressive in nature, which can never be cured, but can be arrested", and we "can recover if we follow a simple program", a program that is provided by GT, GA, and other proven organizations.
 
Thanks for the time and space for me to celebrate this day, and to celebrate life.
 
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware, Keep progressing.

LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by cat438
… We all deserve a "normal life" which can mean different things to different people … 
One day at a time my sweet lord…

Good morning,
There are many ways for each of us to use the different threads, the ways, although they may not be obvious, are as different as is our "normal lives".  So Cat, do not think that your efforts are in vain, myself for one find this monthly pledge to be one that holds daily ones together. A page in a special calendar that shows progress, hope, and desire instead of just listing the days.
August holds a special significance to me and I will not desecrate that by allowing my addiction to regain control.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep progressing.
Larry
Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.– 8/5/2013 2:17:23 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

Originally posted by Desdemona
 
… I didn’t have the emotional energy to post or read other people’s posts

Good morning all, both to the ones that know me and to any new members reading, 
It is a few days pass my celebrating my second go-around of reaching the 9 Month milestone as observed by GA (there is too much painful truth in the fact that these milestones can be celebrated more than once — we are all one bet away from starting a new countdown). But for me as well as many others each day is a celebration, and the one personal event that is greater to me than all the other recognitions and one that can never change. i.e. the day almost four years ago when I decided against ending it all, a day that changed my life and started me on this journey of combating my addiction.
I am well and doing fine, at least as far as gambling goes, and as for the other aspects of my life I an doing as well as can be expected, and better in many cases, both physically and emotionally. Carole’s statement above represents the paradox of working with others on our recovery, at least it became the case for me at this time. We journal about  our thoughts, achievements, and trials, and we read and hear the words of others that are a comfort and encouragement to us, both actions give us the strength and hope that we need. Yet at the same time all the drama, for lack of a better word, can become an emotional strain.
I worked during a good many years of my career helping others in my work as a union official, but their problems were not ones that I shared and any strain was due to fatigue and frustration, not in living mirrored events.  There is a lot to be said about helping ourselves before dedicating and using our energies and the time we have on others in similar situations. When we first start our recovery, those that also use GA find it is easy to "two step" the program; that is to go from Step 1 to Step 12 — from "We admitted that we were powerless over gambling – that our lives had become unmanageable." to "Having made an effort to practice these principles in all our affairs, we tried to carry this message to other compulsive gamblers". But it is also easy to look past the first part of Step 12,  Having made an effort to practice these principles in all our affairs . The key part of this Step is to first "practice these principles in all our affairs". This is the part that I am doing now, reworking the Steps in order, not just randomly.  
Those that have been able to move past this "selfish" stage are to commended, and there are many here that are able to offer this service in a way that come across as them just being the wonderful persons that they are, or that working recovery has allowed them to be. I sincerely thank you all.
Well it was good to read some of the current post and to again journal my thoughts, thanks for listening, and thanks for the opportunity to once again post to my Daily Pledge to not gamble today. And Carole, hopefully we can meet again in real life as a few of us did in the past, and as others are doing with their visits with each other. Bettie, don’t try going over the falls in a barrow when you and Deb visit, no need for you to to hit the bottom of that barrow, or the falls for that matter.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware.
Larry
Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.
 — 7/21/2013 8:54:01 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

Originally posted by cat438

We start a brand new month… One day at a time my sweet lord…

JULY 4th
Good evening Cat and all,
Today is Independence Day, or The Forth of July, in the States, a good day for be to join in on your July pact in honor of my independence form this gambling addiction.
Gods speed.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by paul315

Originally posted by harry
… I was met by various people …
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.  
Good morning Harry,
Well done!
It is a good feeling to start my day on this Independence Day holiday in the States reading your post. Good to see this encouraging and challenging message from you on your 6th Anniversary of your independence from the control of this addiction, and share in a reminder and the significance of finding freedom. 
Thanks to you and other"various people" – but you above all, are a pronounced source of strength; many here are first met by you, and thanks to the love and support that you put forth we can now look forward to the anniversaries that lay before us as well. 
Your constant message to us is a reminder that it takes not only the support of others, but it requires our taking action, us being determined and diligent, and not relenting and running away whenever our distorted thinking tells us that an addictive life isn’t too bad.  It takes work, not just a promise or a resolution; "If a resolution to stop gambling worked we would all have stopped before coming to this forum. Make a Resolution to take ACTION to help you stop." ~  colin In Brum  (another quote from Colin).
Again, Well done.
God’s speed. Stay strong.  Keep on working on your recovery, e.g. n. 1. "the process of recovering"; 2. "the return to a normal condition"; it is more than just an instant or a final act that stands on its on.
YFIR

Well done Harry on reaching the Seven Year mark. Above is a copy of my post to you last year, it still holds true.
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by Kathryn

… My 4 year anniversary passed last week … 
To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

Good morning Kathryn,
Well done!
Sorry that I am late in congratulating you on this achievement. Also  late congratulations you on your 21st wedding anniversary.  Somehow I feel that you and Dames would not have made this one if not for you finding GT four years ago; recovery has caused a lot of positive changes in your life, including allowing you to focus and deal with your great adventure of a life with him instead of wasting way following one controlled by this addiction.
You have been a great inspiration to me with your post, not only about the struggles and triumphs of recovery, but post concerning life in itself with all its ups and downs, giving us all hope that we too could live without gambling. Now that you have a better grasp on a more normal life you are still an inspiration.  And although I will miss out on sharing in celebrating a continuous four years of not gambling with you, with the support of fellow gamblers like yourself and what I have gained from it during my past four years, I still am looking forward to my future of living a life gambling free — 1st things 1st though, that being today, another day that I pledge to not gamble.
God’s speed.
Love xxxxxxxxxLarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by cat438
 … the "norm" on GT is always seeing your posts … 
One day at a time my sweet lord…
Good morning all,
It is strange to see my topic page on page 4, to not be part of the old "norm". However I am doing well and an being part of, and benefitting from the "real" norm of GT, that is thinking and living in a more normal way. I may not post everyday but I still make my Daily Pledge to not gamble, and still work toward fulfilling it ODAAT.
My absents, or lack in daily posting has nothing to do with the friends that I have made here, but rather is do to additional work needed in my own life; work that is progressing in addition to my work in not gambling – they seem to go hand in hand, if we let it. I still read most everyday and visit the chat room from time to time,  and while I find the help and support that I need in the pages here. I find that I was also using my post to help others more that to help me, even thought I posted that my replies were directed towards me as well — a balance has to be made and I was having trouble keeping that balance in hand. So for now while I am reworking the GA 12 Steps after my crash in October I am delaying some of my actions found in Step 12, I have a need to work on the part of "making an effort to practice these principles in all of my affairs" before I venture more deeply into "carrying the message to other compulsive gamblers". I do however know and accept that just as I need the support of others, they need my support as well, and I will continue to visit and share in my experiences and the ways and means that I find helpful. But for now the norm will have to be somewhat different than the daily hours I spent posting before.  I find that today that I have spent way to much time posting and replying to a few, but sense I recognize this fact, it should be more helpful than a hindrance — being aware is needed as much as keeping a balance; the Serenity Prayer comes to mind here.
So a quick hello to all my friends, both old and new, and an assurance that you are not forgotten or left out of my thoughts and prayers, or my gratitude. Forgive me if I do not post to each of you personally.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware. Keep active in some way.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie
Up early -the down side of summer … 

Good morning Bettie,
I am just getting round to catching up on some of the post of others and wanted to post to you; it has been a while. Good to see that you are taking more initiative in your career, that you are using the strength that you have acquired, or have had and are just now supplementing it with your work in recovery — "Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man That he didn’t, didn’t already have".
Keep in mind that it is better to be up early because it being summer than because of "gambling causing you to have difficulty in sleeping" ~GA Question 17.  Keep enjoying life and thinking in a more normal way, a better life that being gambling free provide for. The everyday trials and disappointment will still be there, but you will not be adding to them.
God’s speed. Stay strong.
P.S. Enjoy your visit with Debbie, tell her hello for me. And congratulations to your Chicago Blackhawks, for their win Saturday night and for them being Chicago Strong as for as that part of sports go — you just have to let go of any hopes of your baseball team being better than the St Louis Cardinals.
Larry
Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.– 6/25/2013 2:48:38 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie

Hi Guys,
…  I haven’t felt this bad since my last gambling hangover.

Good afternoon Bettie,
Good to see your post when I dropped by too, seeing a old friend is a good feeling, even if you are having some bad times.
However, the time that you felt bad during your gambling handover was justifiable. Now you are feeling bad because of someone else’s actions, and lifestyle, let that part go and just concentrate on the part that reflects on your work.  Keep working at getting back at the number one spot in spit of the handicap that you are facing of limited work time and the redirection of recognition for opening accounts.
You often mention that what others think of you is none of your business, that holds true for your boss too, what you think about him and his girlfriend he most likely does not give a damn about, and neither will HR — don’t forget that they too are part of management.  Nevertheless, as Cat said "You deserve to be treated with respect" so don’t water down that respect with official complaints concerning shenanigans that are basically outside of work — let your boss be accountable for his own mess, both at work and at play.
And as Cat also said, don’t go running into any trees,  and that goes for casinos too.
God’s speed. Take care, Stay strong and focused.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[Author]

Posts