[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie

Hi Larry,
… Seams sureal to me-that almost a year has past and here we are, clean and living life …

Good evening Bettie,
Thanks for your thoughts and post. I was planing to post something on the 13th and now that you brought my topic nearer the top I will not have search so far back.
Speaking of surreal, I am posting while watching 60 Minutes and a segment on gambling; it is sad to say but the arguments in favor of Government’s invasion into the gambling scene present a better position than the arguments against it.  No one cares for the addictive compulsive gambler except our fellow gamblers, some close friends, and family members; the rest of the world just don’t get it.  We are looked on as being nothing, or at best sore losers. The governments, and some charitable organizations and churches, only care about the novel approach to increase revenue through this behind-the-back con job on the people that circumvent normal and legal ways of taxing, and the Christian way of "giving".
But back to us, my pinning, or in my case receiving a coin ironically in the design of a times past dollar slot token, will be on the 15th. I would like to attend a meeting on the 13th but Sundays are the only day that there are not any GA meetings in the area; so my celebration will be online with GT. The important thing is not the celebration, I celebrate each day that I progress, it is knowing that the reason that I am reaching this point is because of my follow gamblers, my attending meeting, both at GA and here on line as I consider my activities here the same as going to a meeting, and my Higher Power.
In hopes that others may read this, I will again stress the importance to me of our late night chat some time ago.  I know that both you and I know how valuable that time was, but if others have any doubt in the strength that can be found in just talking to someone about what is bothering us, I would like to once again remind them to log on, to make a call, to go to a meeting, to make contact with someone before making the decision to gamble. Of course the connection has to be to gain enough confidence and the acceptance of reality so as not to gamble, and not to be able to say "Oh well, I tried but still found myself gambling". It seems that some use barriers only to be able to say I tried.  As a few others say in their post, we have to quit trying and start doing.
You my friend have been a leader in the doing, you have overcome many trials and adversities and held true to your recovery.  Keep up your good work, keep on being a help to others.
God’s speed. I pray that there is never a difference in the amount of time between our adversities.
Larry

Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 8/1/2011 11:49:34 AM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

— 7/24/2011 2:48:48 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

 
Originally posted by carole8755
 … I realized that my way was not working, and that I would need to reach out outside myself and get the help I waited too long to seek out … 
… You often talk about self-banning in your head and I am having difficulty really grasping that concept. I would appreciate you explaining that to me in detail … 
… It’s not that I don’t believe there is a God …

Good morning Carole,
Going into detail on what mental banning means to me may only show how my individual actions are working in my life. One of the first things that I noticed in starting GA was that nobody told me what to do and how to do. By their own definition GA is "a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from a gambling problem", not a program of professional counselling or therapy. Their only advice was to attend meetings and read the GA Yellow Book daily. In fact the most detailed advice to me as an individual is found in the GA book on page 17. Nevertheless, in reading the other pages of the book and figuring out how they applied to my life I was made aware of a more detailed program that I came to follow and practice. The instructions for me to be open minded, willing, for me to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to a normal way of thinking and living, and for me to make a searching inventory and to meditate, opened my program to include searching for ways to meditate and gaining some knowledge of what I was up against. This was the start of my mental process. 
I am not faulting the GA way (after all using the 12 Step program has been working for me) of not providing individual advice, only generic guidelines; yet beyond this type of a successful process I also find in the GA principles a challenge to " help others to recover ". So as an individual I see that it is up to us in recovery to expand on guidelines when possible. So, after all this background, I will try to provide some of the detailed answers that you are asking. I will also apologize in advance for what I see will be a long reply that contains some rambling, but in typing out these thoughts and sharing them here is also part of a mental process and will help reinforce my resolve and strengthen my actions.
 
To begin, I see a mental ban more of a change in attitude and way of thinking and communicating than a barrier that a self-ban provides. Last year I started a thread in the Overcoming Problems Forum on the ways and means that help me in recovery. One of the first post talked about barriers and mental banning. I will repeat part of that post here: 
"One of the first and an important things to do is start a mental banning process to lock gambling out of your daily activities and planning. In conjunction with this mental process you can then follow through with the actual blocking and banning and other barriers. The start of mental working is not necessarily instantaneous, it has to be nurtured and supported through learning and conditioning. In contrast some of the actual types may be activated immediately or within a short time frame, however, the same brain work has to be applied to make these bans acceptable to your compulsive state and to finally have them in place. 
If your mindset is not on track with the physical actions, you will find yourself searching out a way to beat the barriers, using energy that you could better use to beat the addiction; or will find that the barrier has expired of you have hardened to them. This also applies even to spiritual barriers; your faith might falter leaving you to your own principles and established practices — your mental banning and conditioning will help carry you past times of spiritual doubt".
 
A self-ban is limited to how we, and the casinos, respect it; they do not seem to care until it will save them some money, and we do not care about it once our urges overcome the fear of reprisal. For me the fear of reprisal, the fear of being arrested kept me from self-baning, from my past self efforts to stop gambling I knew that I would not respect a self-ban, I would challenge it placing me in more trouble.  (see this site and its links for a broader view on self-exclusion: http://www.liebertonline.com/doi/abs/10.1089/1092188041427300?journalCode=glr) 
More on my mental banning.
When I gambled I also gambled mentally, that is while caught up in the compulsive frizzy of gambling my every thought was about gambling. Even outside the casinos everything I saw or heard in my daily life reminded me of a certain game or slot machine. Strangely, the only one that comes to mind now for an example is the Lady Bug machine; this is because my granddaughter is into the "Ladybug Girl" books. But this is a good thing, my change in viewing everyday events and objects is where my mental ban has brought me. I now see things for what they are and not what the casinos programed into their machines.
 
Another type of mental ban I use is to not use gambling terms in conversations or posting here for that matter. I no longer say "good luck", instead I taught myself to say best wishes or God’s speed; I have for the most part mentally banned gambling terms from my vocabulary. The first time I found myself doing this was during my second GA meeting where I was asked to sigh a sobriety birthday card for another member; I wrote "good luck" but it looked wrong so I scratched that out and used "best wishes". She thought it was intentional, it was more of a realization, an effort that has become intentional and common place.  Even when playing with my granddaughter, I do not say "I bet" as she sometimes uses, I say I don’t think you can.
Almost every Thursday afternoon and Friday morning for the past six years I went to the casino where my daughter picked me up; we both now refer to it as the bus stop.  A friend and I go to "the buffet" occasionally for breakfast, it is on casino property but he no longer says lets go to the casino this morning (we never gambled when doing this in the past, it just came more natural to name the casino — I snuck back to do my secret compulsive gambling afterwards). Another friend no longer sends lotto tickets in my Christmas card, at least last year, I asked him to just say MC and not temp me.  My using these new terms and stressing the importance of my separating gambling from our times together caused those around me to refer to them in the same manor — they care and respect my need to recover. These things may seem like only words games, but for me in my recovery it is a change in attitude and the way to see the normal things of life; for me it is part of my mental banning.
Another mental ban that I use is to not look at my being gambling free as leaving gambling behind; I see myself going forward to a better place, not pinning away about what others refer to in saying they lost a best friend, or the only source of entertainment of enjoyment they had. Sure "normal" gambling can be a form of enjoyment to a non-CG, but once I crossed over, it was no longer my friend or enjoyment, it was my enemy and source of distress and devastation.  The better place I am seeking can not include dwelling on the past thoughts of any good times, I have evolved into a recovering compulsive gambling with no room for any gambling or desires. I know in my mind that I can not be, must not think that I can be, a "normal" gambler again.  In the Biblical story of leaving bad things behind, Lot when on to live the better life when escaping Solemn and Gomorrah, his wife hung on to the past to her demise.
 
God!
This is not the place for me to preach religion, however I do "testify" to my Belief and my living a better life resulting from my recovery, blessings that I see as coming from God. This is a place to stress the importance of "spirituality" — "The word spiritual can be said to describe those characteristics of the human mind that represent the highest and finest qualities such as kindness, generosity, honesty and humility". God is a Higher Power that I have, one in a combination of powers — the preamble in the GA guidebook comes to mind, i.e, "I sought my soul, But could not see, I sought my God, But He eluded me, I sought my brothers and sisters, And found all three" it takes a combination of powers to help me. God is a HP that I now depend on and have faith in, my way did not work either, and I came to believe that "a Power greater than myself" could.  You do not not believe, however, you also realize that your way is not working; recovery calls for us to be open minded and willing to except change.  In the "Reflection of the Day" post in this forum for the 24th, it talks of a way to go further than not not believing.  
In addition to this I will repeat some from my topic in Overcoming Problems about God or a HP:
"I can truthfully say that I believe a Power greater then me — in my case God –, a power greater then that of my compulsive gambling, will carry me through on this journey; such a belief is needed if we are to go forward. When you are working on your recovery, you need to believe that there is something stronger then you to pull you away from the compulsive behavior. We have tried using our own will power and failed, now we need a spiritual strengthening. Defences built on will power and self-knowledge alone may not hold; our best efforts always result in ever greater destruction and despair, but those reinforced by spiritual principles have a greater sustaining power. 
When others speak of God, it is meant to address each of own conception of a God, no matter what your faith or position, including any irreligious or skeptical views where a form of Higher Power exist in another fashion; Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms and expressions deter you from honestly asking yourself how such terms fit in your life. Just as with the computers we work with, our System Restore has to have a starting point for restoration to commence; a willingness to believe in a Greater Power is all that is needed to start this process. Then the continuing reliance on that belief will build a stronger belief, resulting in further acceptance and growth. Afterwords we can accept the many things related to recovery that now seem out of reach, we can accept the fact that we can stop; that we can succeed in achieving a renewed life, a gambling free life. 
The opening phrase, "came to believe" (of the GA Step 2), in not only a reference to an awakening, but it also suggests a process and a progression of faith that evolves over time. We must be patient; the days and weeks will pass soon enough, and as we follow a true deliberate course, we will experience continued recovery".
I believe that in this attempt to answer your question has been a help to me, and hopefully you and perhaps others; it has strengthen my mental actions and encourages me to follow through with my physical actions — It would do no good if I used, or allowed, my mental powers to fight and destroy the physical ones instead of supporting them.
God’s speed. Keep aware. Stay strong. Keep your mind on staying gambling free and living a better way of life.
Larry

Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 7/24/2011 2:55:35 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie

The heat is just lovely! NOT! …

Good morning Bettie,
Just a few words to let you know that I am also sharing in your distaste for the heat. And then to read the post of others that are wishing for some of it, I sat they can have it, and caution them to "be careful of what you wish for".
This same thought may be passing through your mind, that in the past we would be soaking up the air conditioning it the local casino — letting them spend their money for the high electric bill, NOT!  The hell that we would be returning to has a more burning and consuming heat, ? "It’s Too Darn Hot" ?; much hotter than the temperatures that mainly cause some discomfort.
God’s speed. Stay cool, in every way.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by sherry123
…I was just curious.

July 4th !
Good morning all,
Today is an interesting day for me in some different ways, some of which I will share here. But first I would like to say "thanks Sherry for your post and concern", concern that you call curiosity. We all have a curiosity in the lives of others here or we would not read their post, but in this community curiosity comes from our concern for others and for a search for help for ourselves. Curiosity is the beginning of shearing, interacting, and learning.
 
As for your questions, when in France and prior to my crossing over into becoming a compulsive gambler, I was what many consider as being, a "normal" social gambler. My income came from my retirement and went towards family expenses and our activities. I now see that even the controlled gambling I did do in France, and during my earlier life in the States did however plant the seeds of destruction, and opened an attraction to this other world, but gambling was then centered around other activities, my activities were not centered around gambling. My problem came to life during a period I felt I had to get away to straighten out some things in my life. Instead I took to the casino and uncontrollable gambling, finding it easier to hide and run away from my problems than to face them. From there, I became a full blown CG, I crossed over the line.
 
I have not found a need to ban myself as I recommend others to do, but my recommendation is based on the good that I see that banning can provides, not on what I have found good for me. I have posted my thoughts in more detail in other post, but here I am just answering a question. In the long run, for me at least, and not as a suggestion to others, my not gambling without baning made me work harder at not gambling; I gambled many times when I should not have, other types of restrictions did not stop me, but gave me reason to challenge the system and push it to the limit. I would have done the same with banning and I believe that my challenging it would have only caused me additional problems. Such defiance to banning is also demonstrated my others here. I feel that my mental ban has keep me gambling free more than a formal ban could have. Some need to ban, but they also need the mental ban, and both are a commitment with a requirement that only we can keep.
 
Now for the 4th, Independence Day in the US.
 
Eighteen years ago July 4th was the fist day of my retirement from my working career. My independence from having to report to work each day. I still work, but ever since that day I know that I can walk away from anything that I was not comfortable with. and have a few times; unlike having to fulfill duties to keep a job and provide me a livelihood, I now do not "have" to work (except for the past couple of years to repay gambling debts and extra income become a necessity). I work to provide additional and discretionary income, and I work to keep active, and even fulfil a need to know that I can do a good job and satisfy my employer. Being "independent" is a good feeling.
 
I also borrow from this Holiday and use its significance to recognize and celebrate my independence from the gambling addiction. My anniversary is a few weeks away, but I still recognize a connection with Independence Day on this July 4th. Again, being independent is a good feeling. But just as in my retirement where I still need to do something to replace a lifetime of required work, in recovery I need to replace the years of addictive and compulsive gambling. I can not replace it with other types of gambling like I replaced my job with a different style of work; for a CG a return to gambling or a try at controlled gambling is not an option. I replaced my gambling with working on recovery. I know that others stress finding some other activity that will fill your time, but I have found for me that with my spending most of my extra time on my recovery and searching for knowledge of this addiction and the gambling industry, that all the time I dedicated to recovery is what opened up other ways for me to enjoy and be able to take part in positive activities, I did not have to search for or seek out ways to replace the time I spent gambling. By not gambling, once there was time for these other activities to manifest themselves, a normal and better life took hold. Once I started giving my gambling free time, even at ODAAT, an opportunity to build, I allowed my normal life to return.
 
And on a sadder note, the 4th reminds me of what I lost. On US holidays such as this one where its significance and recognitions was not observed outside the States, our family took special efforts to bring some of home home to me. The love that was shown on "my" holidays, and that I also shared during the French jours de fete, is now just a memory. Being independent has a down side too.
 
Nevertheless, I am still progressing and am being able to forgive myself through applying the same principles of recovery to other aspects of my lif, this year I can enjoy the festivities and not be held captive in a casino. I will not be celebrating in some of the more festive ways I did years ago, but not acting out the life of a younger man, is because of age and changes in what interest me, not because of an addiction. I can choose what parts of the celebrations I want to partake in. And although the earlier part of the day is controlled my "having" to work, being independent is still a good feeling.
 
God’s speed. Stay strong. Use your independence from gambling to enjoy being dependent on the normal happiness of life.
Larry

Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 7/4/2011 1:32:34 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

Good morning Kathryn,
Two Years, Well Done!!
There is not too much more that I can say except adding that just as you acknowledged Harry as being a great help to you, as he has to us all, I will state that you have also helped me in my recovery from my start throughout. Your sharing of you life, showing that there is a life after gambling, and the encouragement and guidance that you offer, has been an inspiration; you were a Godsend, you have become a friend.
God’s speed.
To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan (as shown in the life of K)
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Thanks for the reply Bettie,
Sometimes not too many words are needed to express our thoughts.
p.s. was the clown you?LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Today is a very special day. Today is "Katie Day". A special holiday that corresponds with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day; my 6 year old granddaughter, Katie, organized this special day three years ago so she could share in the same type festivities that she enjoyed in honoring her mother and father. 
I missed the first one.  Gambling was too much a part of my life, or rather, gambling was my life. So today I am looking forward to my second time to join in on the festivities.  We are going to the circus; a small One-Ring Tent circus locally operated, Circus Flora (not the huge distracting 3 ring overly commercialized one held in stadiums), that I have been wanting to see since my return from France where my family there and I went to the small local ones every time a traveling circus family came to town. I guess I could say that "Katie Day" is offering me a chance to fulfill a practical and sound dream.
This desire was also hampered my my gambling before now; before I started living a normal life again each time I had the money for tickets, my addiction to gambling diverted me from the sales office to the casino. Taking my family here to the circus became one of the elusive dreams on my gambling life; when I won "enough" I would buy the tickets and surprise them with this outing. Needless to say, the elusive dreams of a gambler, even a smaller one, never materialize.
Today, thanks to my Higher Power and the help and support of my fellow gamblers here and at GA, I can enjoy a special day and an awaited event.  I am mentioning this to remind me, and others, that living gambling free does have its rewards. Others may be struggling with and looking forward to the seemingly greater rewards of paying off debts or regaining some material items; but later on, when you have progressed in your recovery, you too will realize that the small things in life that gambling took from us are just as important and can give much greater joy.
Take time to smell the roses as you strive to overcome, money can still be earned and possessions acquired, but once we throw away a precious moment, it will be lost. As Geordie says in his closing, "recovery is priceless".
God’s speed.
Larry

Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 6/12/2011 1:51:31 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

— 6/9/2011 4:14:55 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie
…Storms and still storming …

Good morning Bettie,
Good to see that you are still living life, your life. Your life with all the ups and downs is still far better than one of a CG in action. Stay strong and weather out the storms, both of nature and recovery.
Just thing a couple of months ago we complained about the cold, now it is the heat; its "? Too Dame Hot".
God’s speed. Keep your kool!LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by Kathryn … the conversation is not over …To live, that would be a great adventure  – Peter Pan
Good morning Kathryn,
Sorry for your troubles. Even though your post does not bring the best of news, hearing that life goes on when we live gambling free and that we need not fall back on the false comforts of gambling during adversities is a learning lesson to others.
The adventures of life are not all what we hope them to be; be strong in your recovery and in making your life a better one for you and your loved ones, not just one of existing. Life is to enjoy, not endure.
Keep the conversations open, and hopefully productive so that a more happy 20th anniversary might have a chance for the future.
God’s speed. Stay strong.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by geordie18

… I have noticed the date of my last gamble was March 13th, that was exactly 16 weeks ago …

Good morning Georgie, Well done!
Well done on reaching this milestone and on recognizing that you do not have to gamble whenever the addiction commands it of us; we can take back the control over our lives, we can make the right choice.
More important than the day we are at in any stage of our recovery is today, the day that can add to our time in living gambling free.  I see that you have read some of the past post of Colin In Brum, in his introductory remarks he states this in a better way, "I haven’t had a bet in a while but whats far more important than when my last bet was, is when my next bet is going to be. Hopefully the answer will remain as "not today" …"
May the time between each of our last bets and the forthcoming days never change.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by Scott S.

… What do I do first?
Good morning Scott, my name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was Augest 13, 2009.  Welcome to GT, a place where you can learn about the different ways and means to folllow after you do the first thing to start turning your life around.The first thing that I found after many atempts to control my gambling that needed to be done was to stop gambling, to "Not Gamble For Anything".  At the moment it may feel like this can only be done at the moment, but in denying the urges and irrational thoughts that lead to gambling during these first moments will give you the strength to not gamble during the next few hours, and then to not gamble for the day. Not gambling for a day, living gambling free "One Day At A Time", and praticing that priciple each day will lead to a continoues life of recovery and return to a normal way of lifing and thinking.So I would say that the first thing to do is to not gamble and to do everything possible to not gamble; and just as important, do everything possible to keep the verb "have" in your statement, "I have a nice wife and a new beautiful baby", at "have" and not transformed to the conjugated form of "had" due to the consequiences of any future gambling.  I lost my nice wife and beautiful daughter by allowing gambling to take the place of needed therapy for depression allowing too much time and too many miles to weaken and destroy our lives together, nevertheless it was gambling that destroed what I charished. Don’t let gambling for whatever reason completely destroy your family — don’t let this happen to you or let you feel that you will never let your actions that it that far; as a CG still in action, you will, or the overpowering addiction will that is — it is the nature of the beast. Urges can not hurt you, and although they may reoccur frequently at ***** they only last a short time; let them subside with out giving in.  As for the irrational thoughts, they will take more effort, learning, and acceptance to overcome. You can find that knowledge and strength through the help of those here and in other forms of support such as Gamblers Anonymous, give all types of help a honest and open minded effort; do the everything that is needed to stop gambling. Don’t stop at something that may seem uncomfortable at the time, or that goes against you lifestyle or way of thinking.  Once you decide to not gamble, and you possibly find that you had a relapse alone the way, in looking back you will realize that the reason for the slip was that you limited the "everything needed" to not gamble, that you gave a higher priority to a seemingly more comfortable and easy choice to gamble over the choice to not gamble and work your recovery. You need gambling free time to work recovery, time to allow changes to be made in your character and lifestyle. These changes are what will take over the just abstaining form gambling and allow you to live a gambling free life. Without change, there will be no change; and this includes changes in attitude, not just character. Keep visiting and participating here, read the post of others and learn from their advice and suggestions. God’s speed, use your Higher Power to guide and strengthen you.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by Meesoouls;

I have not been able to stop … 
   and,
… How will I ever get back to the me that was responsible and thoughtful to those I loved …

Good afternoon Meesooul,
You are here making this claim and asking questions; you have a desire to stop and have made attempts to reach this goal without the results you need. We have all faced this dilemma at some point; I tried and tried different approaches, approaches that merely went alone with my habits, comfort zone, and addictive controlled thinking, until I stopped trying to quit on my own and started working a recovery program to allow me to quit. True, I also accepted the fact that I could not gamble for anything during my recovery, a decision I had to struggle with and combat; however, while allowing changes to be made in my life and lifestyle, and making changes in my attitude toward programs that could help me, I also realized that the urges would not hurt me and would not last. I realized and accepted that I needed gambling free time to work on my recovery a lot more than I needed a short temporary relief. I found that I needed more than a desire to stop; the desire sent me to recovery, working that recovery program leads to living gambling free — "it works if you work it, it don’t if you wont".
As expressed in my closing statement to each of my post, my recovery program, and the Higher Power that guides me in working it, consist of a combination of ways that I use. GT is one and is a big part of my program. And it is not just my visiting, my daily pledges, and posting to others that help me, it is my using the entire site to make and keep me aware, or open minded, of the ways and means to combat urges and stay gambling free.  Some of the archived post that I have found helpful are from a member that only post occasionally. His name is Steve and I am leading you to his post in hopes that they may help you as well.  He has no topic or "home" page, but read each of the post in the "Topics containing posts by Stephen" page that stre with "by stephen", read what he says over the past years and the replies from others, his insight may just show you how you can get back to being the responsible and thoughtful person you were before the addiction changed you, it helped me.  But as he states in one of his post, "you must go after recovery, it does not come to you".
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware. Be open minded and receptive. 
Larry

Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 6/1/2011 6:55:11 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

Good morning all,
It is good to be back home and connected to all my friends at GT.  It is also good to be able to connect to GT again with a work-around site address (I was able to post to Our Daily Pledge when I first returned, but then faced the technical problem with GT); both being away and unable to connect only reaffirms my need of this tool. It was interesting that right after I returned home and logged on to GT for my pledge and read a few emails my computer completely froze up allowing only navigation within a scam type, and official looking Window’s warning message, that turned out to be a virus crashing my entire system.  After a few hours on the phone with the computer technicians  and the Internet provider I was able to reload my hard drive and go back on line (still lost everything not backed up to disk), finding that I could not connect to GT; making me think that the virus had somehow blocked this life line. (The importance of such tools for connecting with others is the subject of today;s "Reflection for the Day" posted in this Forum also, read it.)
My trip was full of coincidences and evidence of interesting happenings also. On the way down to New Orleans I passed through some of the worst affected areas of our recent flooding alone the Mississippi River. Saint Louis and New Orleans did not have to contend with any of the catastrophic destruction, but the areas in between in Arkansas, Tennessee, and Mississippi were a total loss to miles on both banks of this mighty river. And then, the tornadoes and storms in the Midwest!
We had just experienced a couple of tornadoes and storms in the St Louis area, but while in New Orleans the extremely large tornado hit another part of Missouri (see the following site for a before-and-after satellite view of a small portion of Joplin, MO; the same type damage covered many times this area (you can drag the bar back and forth to see the differences between the lush green and standing buildings to the ugly browns and destruction afterwords)
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-joplin-tornado-slider,0,2395484.htmlstory .
And then on the trip home we passed through the worst rain and wind storm I can recall, just missing another tornado a few miles to the east of the location I had to pull off the road to wait it out. When finally arriving home, we had just missed the baseball-size-hailstorm that hit St, Louis. This timing saved me a few hundred dollars in deductibles for the damage that would have incurred.
And I though my gambling problem was bad; at least the gambling devastation to my life can be avoided by me just making the right choice — the choice to not gamble for anything — something that I can take control over.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Stay safe.
p.s. By the way, I did enjoy my stay in New Orleans without incident.
Larry

Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 5/28/2011 3:35:13 PM: post edited by paul315.

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