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Originally posted by 23anastasia
… I need a plan.
Good afternoon Anastasia, my name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was August 13, 2009. Welcome back to GT, three years is a long time to live in the secret world of gambling without continuing with the help that you reached out for back then. Here you can once again reach out and share your story, and learn from others to help in formulating a plan, you are not alone.
Your plan does not have to be complicated, although the work will be hard and calls for sincere and dedicated actions. Even it you are not near enough to one of the GA meetings (I think that there are meeting is Burlington, Rutalnd, and perhaps Baurre) to attend in person, you can use the principles of their program; one online site, http://www.gachicago.org/literature.html, can provide some of the pamphlets and guidelines for working the Steps, start with the Yellow Combo Book and Towards 90 Days. More information pertaining to this advice can be found in other sites (see htttp://compulsivegamblers.gotop100.com/index.php), and if you like I can post a few or the ones that I have found helpful.
You may also be able to find help sites in the Resources section of GT above, and requesting information from their Help Line. For a councillor try asking your doctor, contacting the local United Way, or church groups, and possibly this site, http://www.vapavt.org/index.htm, but it would be best that anyone suggested is familiar with gambling problems. Another suggestion arriving from your comments in both this and your first topic, you could check out a local AA meeting, the programs are similar and the help you find with a possible drinking problem might also be used with the gambling one and your online work with it.
Keep visiting this site and participation in all of the service offered, use all the help that is available to you. you have to go after recovery, it does not come to you.
God’s speed, use your higher Power to guide and strengthen you.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.Originally posted by geordie18
Well what a difference a year has made …Good morning Georgie,
I hate to differ from you again (sort of), but you being able to start a 2012 topic and carry on was not because of the difference in the year, it was because of the difference in you; it was you using the time to work on recovery that has made all the difference. It was you making use of the only option left open to you so that you would not have to face the same consequences over and over.
The adversities that you experienced the past year would not have been changed, but your choice to not let gambling control your life, your using the past year to make changes, allowed you to be there for the adversities and offer comfort to those you love.
What a difference recovery makes, and can year after year; it is priceless.
God’s speed. Sty strong. Have a Happy Gambling Free 2012.
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.Originally posted by Bruce1234… … I have a million dollars in the bank
Good morning Bruce, a belated welcome to GT. I am slowly getting around to welcoming some new members from over the holidays, but welcome just the same.
My name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was August 13, 2009. The years before that seams like a different but similar joke to me, a cruel one that started by "a man walks into a casino trying to escape"; a joke with a punch line hitting me hard in the gut and taking control of my life. Now 7 YEARS LATER, two and a few months of which have been gambling free, I am recouping from the loss of much money, and regaining control over my life. I even have some money in the bank (all of which I would surly loose if I were to return to gambling, the same as your if you continue). But what I don’t have is worth far far more than any amounts of money, I also lost a family, and lost years of my life and the enjoyments I traded in search of elusive dreams and false comfort, a search that found nothing but regrets and devastation.
Your story and your search for answers reminded me of this past life; thanks for being here and sharing. It is sad that you had to live under the same controls and found the same results, but I am grateful I can use your more recent experiences with gambling to remind me that nothing has changed in the world of gambling; in learning from you I do not have to venture back out into that abyss to test the waters — if only I could have learned form others earlier and not from my own actions.
You now have the opportunity to learn from both your mistakes and those of others here too, your can find the answers to a lot of question, but it will be up to you to accept and use these answers. You will not find all the answers, answers to all the ‘"whys", but you can find answers to the ways and means to recover from the unanswered questions. Read and post to this site often and regularly, use all the services of GT to help you regain control of your life and live it in a more normal way. Look at live support groups such as Gamblers Anonymous, other social or community groups, and counselling, do all that you can to help you become the person that you are meant to be; you have to go after recovery, it does not come to you.
God’s speed, use your Higher Power to guide and strengthen you.
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.Originally posted by gracephnx
Today has been very hard. I had the thoughts, the urges, despite all reason, there they were. I got as far as planning how I could get to the bank, drive out of town etc…then Fate intervened and I was offered an appt I have been waiting for.
… I take no pleasure today in my abstinence …
, as it was not of my doing, but resulting only from a chance appointment. God help me tomorrow.
gracephnx
God morning Grace,
I do not think that anyone takes much pleasure in abstaining from something that has been part of them and a powerful control of their lives. There may be an sigh of releif or a mild afterglow when we force ourselves to not gamble, but it would be hard for the act itself to be a pleasurable experience when there is an enter turmoil taking place. Now recovery, that is a different matter, when we practice our recovery and live gambling free, feeling the pleasure becomes a natural occurrence, we do not have to replace any resentment. "Abstinence is more of an "I’m-holding-off-for-now" attitude, while recovery is more about thinking along the lines of, "I used to be addicted, but that was then and this is now".
Nevertheless, well done of staying gambling free during your time of turmoil and fighting off urges. And thank God for coincidental or chance interventions and that you were aware enough to not just blow off an opportunity for something that you desired. Many ***** the addiction does not allow us to even think about anything else, but you were able to use your resolve to abstain from gambling to think rationally. Now look at using the time that abstaining from gambling is providing to work on recovery and changes in character traits that the addiction feeds on.
You can find a discussion on the difference between abstaining and recovery at this site, one that the quote above was taken from: http://www.addictionsearch.com/forums/showthread.php?t=708. It is mainly talking about alcohol and **** addictions, but in our case gambling is our **** of choice and the same principles apply for our actions as well.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.Originally posted by bettie
… I found what I was looking for. I wanted to punish myself, and I did it very well.Bettie, as you know one of the charistics of a compulsive gambler is found in the GA combo book, "there is a theory that compulsive gamblers subconsciously want to lose to punish themselves", another charismatic of a CG is "INABILITY AND UNWILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT REALITY. Hence the escape into the dream world of gambling".
You speak of your the justification you used to gamble, your "relationship" and the problems it causes, your not wanting to accept the reality that his problem is destroying you. You can’t do anything about his problem, but you can yours; work more at changing these character flaws in your own life, get the help that you need, let the devil take care of him handling his, that is unless he in time decides to turn his problems over to a more righteous power; and even if that were ever to happen, you do not need to continue in punishing yourself with the gambling that you use to escape the feelings of being unwanted or used by him. You do not need to be one of his FWB, a one sided friendship is not a friendship, nor is it worth nourishing.
Recovery will work in areas outside of gambling as well as with gambling, use the Steps to guide you in your problems with this "relationship", your binge drinking, in all of your life, you can not separate doing good at staying gambling free and doing good at living, gambling will more than likely win out if the field is divided.
God’s speed. Stay strong. It is not too late to have the rest of this year to be a Happy Gambling Free New Year.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.Originally posted by pumkin113b
How is it that we can go from ok to struggling in a split second? …
Good evening Pumkin,
If we could not go from OK to struggling in a split second we could not move in the opposite direction either, the change falls within the same time frames; but, time spent on negative thoughts can strengthen the crash, and the time in recovery builds up making the leap to being OK possible. I don’t think that feeling good or bad comes to us gradually, we can feel either way at the drop of a hat. However the time before a change in feelings, and what we do with it, can govern what feelings will build and take hold. We can’t control the wind, but we can trim the sails.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Use your help lines before an urge or bad feeling takes hold.
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.Сообщение от geordie18
… азартные игры всегда доступны …Вариантом может быть то, что нам доступно, или даже то, в чем нам отказано; в чем-то отказано, например, в каком-либо снисхождении или принятии арендодателем всей выплачиваемой суммы долга – вариант есть, но не мы. Хотя азартные игры существуют повсюду вокруг нас и существуют с незапамятных времен, они относятся к той категории, в которой нам отказывают, запрещают любому, кто переступает черту и признает, что азартные игры для них являются проблемой. И если мы решим оставить игру на столе в качестве варианта, я думаю, что это не только вариант, но и, скорее всего, мы позволим, чтобы это вскоре стало нашим единственным предпочтением.
С другой стороны, отсутствие возможности играть в азартные игры не гарантирует нам, что все будут играть бесплатно (это очевидно в недавнем сообщении и является причиной, по которой я отвечаю вам сейчас, чтобы подчеркнуть, что «Нам необходимо развивать представьте, что азартные игры – это действительно то, что нам нужно навсегда исключить из нашей жизни – это не может быть для нас вариантом »). Чтобы оставаться свободными от азартных игр, даже если азартные игры не являются вариантом, поскольку они всегда присутствуют в обществе, мы должны выбирать между другими вариантами, которые все еще лежат перед нами. Как написала Эми: «Сказать« нет »- это вариант. Выбор жизни без азартных игр – это вариант. Стать более здоровым человеком – это вариант. И быть честным с самим собой – это вариант», но, на мой взгляд, азартные игры – это не вариант для КГ, желающая остановиться, точно так же, как простое существование или выживание без вмешательства не является вариантом для любой другой формы счастливой полноценной и здоровой жизни – эти вещи арендодателя могут «буквально» быть вариантом в самом строгом смысле, но на самом деле они существуют только из-за нашего отказа выбирать из реальных вариантов. А для компьютерной графики термин, выраженный «образно», «азартные игры – это не вариант», является в самом строгом смысле для меня единственным способом взглянуть на это.
Другой участник поделился своими мыслями о вариантах, которые, как я считаю, более точны для моего выздоровления, заявили: «Для меня азартные игры – это не вариант, выздоровление – мой единственный вариант» – Стивен; он также сделал приведенную выше цитату и имеет гораздо больше таких хороших идей и советов в своих прошлых темах на этом форуме.В заключение я процитирую вас словами, которые я разделяю: «Это хорошая тема для обсуждения, и все, что, по мнению любого из нас, помогает нам жить по жизни, не обязательно будет принято всеми нами», а также обсуждения и мы, открывая свой разум другим взглядам, держим нас в курсе подводных камней, с которыми мы все сталкиваемся; как повторяется в GA, возьмите то, что вам нужно, а остальное оставьте ".
Восстановление бесценно, потому что в мире азартных игр нет ничего, что могло бы сравниться с его преимуществами, не существует альтернативы, которая могла бы извлечь выгоду из его ценности или конкурировать с ней.
Ларри: Спасибо моей Высшей Мощи, Моим 3G – Богу, GA и GT, «День второй – еще один день позади», и с помощью всех я продолжу оставаться свободным в азартных играх.Originally posted by geordie18
… gambling is always an option …An option can be something that is available to us, or even something that is denied us; something denied, such as any leniency or lessor acceptance of a total debt being paid — the option is there, but it is not ours to choose. Gambling, although all around us, and has been existing since the beginning of of time, is in this category of one that is denied to us, denied to anyone crossing over the line and accepting that gambling for them is a problem. And if we chose to keep gambling on the table as an option, I think that it will not only be an option, but we will instead more likely allow it to soon be our singular preference.
On the other hand, not having gambling as an option does not guarantee us that all will stay gambling free (this being evident in recent post, and is the reason that I am replying to you now – to stress that "We need to develop the mindframe that gambling really is something we need to permanently eliminate from our lives – it cannot be an option for us"). To stay gambling free even without gambling being an option, it being only a ever present part of society, we do have to choose between the other options that still lay before us. As Amy posted: "Saying No is an option. Choosing a life without gambling is an option. Being a healthier person is an option. And being honest with yourself is an option.", but in my view, gambling is not an option for a CG desiring to stop, just as merely existing or enduring without intervention is not an option for any other form of a happy fulfilling and healthy life — these lessor things may "literally" be an option in the strictest sense, but in reality they only exist because of our refusing to chose from the real options. And for a CG the "figuratively" speaking term, "gambling is not an option" is in the strictest sense the only way for me to view it.
Another member has posted thoughts on options, ones that I find to be more accurate for my recovery stated, "For me, gambling is not an option, recovery is my only option" – stephen ; he also made the quote above and has a lot more of such good insights and advice in his past topics in this forum.In closing I will quote you with words that I also share in, "Its a good point of discussion, and whatever any of us believes to get us through life is not necassarily going to be accepted by all of us", and the discussions and us opening our minds to other views keep us aware of the pitfalls we all face; as repeated in GA, take what you need and leave the rest".
Recovery is priceless because there is nothing related to the world of gambling that can compare to its benefits, no option exist that can take from or compete with its value.
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.Originally posted by flyorra
… i have to find another way to find some peace and quiet.Good afternoon Flyorra,
When we look for ways to find peace and quite it is easy for old habits that once offered such feelings to be included in the options; and unfortunately for a CG the memories of the delusional escape that gambling provided also creeps in. When we work at making change so that we can enjoy the things around us without seeking harmful thrills or walking on the edge, peace and quite, comes to us on its own. There are events and challenges in life that are more related to normal life and do not represent harm, thrills are not limited to dangers that only provide more tension and stress. For a CG gambling is not an alternative, weigh the pros and cons and you will find that gambling is not even an option to be considered.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware, use what works, not what causes more problems.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.Originally posted by luke*
End of Day 4…
… Last night i dreamt that i was ‘there’ again …
Tomorrow is another day and I am looking forward to making it another gamble free day.Good morning Luke,
Well done, you have passed you judgement day; you are now able to look forward to making the following days gambling free.
I see dreams like your as being our addiction subconsciously tempting us and trying to regain control, control that is being lost to our resolve and determination to live gambling free. Keep working at keeping the addiction at a disadvantage.
God’s speed. Stay strong.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.Originally posted by makako22… I am a happy person today …
Good morning Makako, my name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was August 13, 2009; and because of the work I have done in making changes in my life, I can also say that "I am a happy person today. And I can say it with putting emphasis on the first words, not only on the "today". Recovery is a One Day At A Time process and program, but the benefits goes beyond today, recovery provide for a better and more normal way of life for each day in the future as well, no matter when at home or in foreign lands.
IMHO I do not think that placing an occasional bet or visiting a casino as part of an entertaining evening is a problem either, that is, it is not a problem for the so called "normal" or social player; however, for me and other compulsive gamblers in the grasp of a baffling and insidious addiction, it is a huge problem, and puts us in a position where we can no longer say " I do not gamble, a part from … …". When we cross over the line from making an occasional social bet to uncontrollable betting, even if only done during binges or when away from home, — the Los Vegas motto of "What happens in Vegas, stays in Veges" is far from the truth for a CG, the wrongs we do no matter where, follows us for a long time.
You have recognized your problem, now it is time to do something about it, keep working on changes in your life and character that an addiction to gambling can feed on, and progressively advance, if nothing is done now to arrest its power and control. Your statement that you officially quit gambling, to be on the safe side, should include quiting what you do not consider to be a problem — a problem today.
God’s speed, use your Higher Power to guide and strengthen you.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.Originally posted by kridel
…This however, has also been my first week since joining the Gambling Therapy site, which is by far one of the better decisions I’ve made …
Good morning Krindel,
Good to talk to you earlier in the chat room. Forgive me if I came across too strong talking about GA, I was not trying to "convert" you to any particular way of recovery or beliefs, only trying to impress the importance of any life meetings and of using this site when other meetings are not feasible, and just as important as a valuable addition to other type meetings. My coming here was one of the better decisions I have made too; and continuing using this site is even a better one.
At the end of the session you listed a few thing they make up Kridel, the best part about you list is that it did not include being a CG; we in recovery remain CGs but when working on change, gambling no longer defines us — we are once again a person. Use your positive attributes and makeup in toward being that person, if others fail to see the good in your, it is there loss.
God’s speed (God, referring to ‘your’ HP, and mine, and only as a recognized term to say best wishes). Stay strong.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.Originally posted by cat438
… once you put the first money in those slots – well … … …
One day at a time my sweet lord…Good morning Cat,
Thanks for the New Year’s wish you began your post with; mine for you is for you to have a Happy Gambling Free New Year.
One way for you to do this is remembering well where putting the first money in those slots can only lead; for a compulsive gambler there can be no first bet — it is the nature of the beast. You have progressed from having three relapses to having two, now is the time to work as completely skipping over the next number in the sequence and moving on to and staying at zero. You have a choice, you can do this, you can make your recovery work ODAAT through the help of your sweet Lord, your Higher Power, or let your addiction, your compulsion to gamble, keep control one bet at a time.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware.
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 1/3/2012 3:23:09 PM: post edited by paul315.
Originally posted by cat438
… once you put the first money in those slots – well … … …
One day at a time my sweet lord…Good morning Cat,
Thanks for the New Year’s wish you began your post with; mine for you is for you to have a Happy Gambling Free New Year.
One way for you to do this is remembering well where putting the first money in those slots can only lead; for a compulsive gambler there can be no first bet — it is the nature of the beast. You have progressed from having three relapses to having two, now is the time to work as completely skipping over the next number in the sequence and moving on to and staying at zero. You have a choice, you can make your recovery work ODAAT through the help of your sweet Lord, your Higher Power, or let your addiction, your compulsion to gamble, keep control one bet at a time.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware.
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.Originally posted by bettie
… ldg …
My dear Bettie,
The only place that I can think of to start in reply is to encourage you to continue to work your recovery; work at keeping that day as "The Last Day Gambled". You are fully aware of the dangerous spiral that such action can put you in, act on that awareness and knowledge and put aside any thoughts of following up with a next bet.
I am proud of you for coming here and telling us of your actions, and in doing so, not only are you still moving forward, you are giving us all a warning to be more diligent and not think that we can return to gambling just because, whatever the reason. I feel terribly sorry for anyone having to find themselves in a situation where they succumb to temptation, especially for you; not only for the regret and anguish you express in your few words, but for the feelings that you must have been experiencing that let this addiction take this momentary control once again.
The only way that comes to mind for me to end this post is to respectfully ask, "did you find what you were looking for?".
Your friend,
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 1/3/2012 6:04:17 PM: post edited by paul315.