[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie
… Anyday you get a great Coach purse for 75% off is a wonderful day! …
This is a gift of recovery-I am truely greatful!
 

Good morning Bettie,
All good things have to come to an end, at least an end to the actual events, the good feeling and memories carry on and on; even when dampened by having to returns to work. This we do after every time off, so it is just part of life, not some that should take away from a wonderful experience.
And hopefuly not to dampen your good find and sale on a "high price designer hand bag or piece of luggage", FYI Geordie, hopefully your reduced cost was due to less tariffs and taxes in Canada, and not because it was a counterfit one that you can find in any flee market in Chicago. Also hope that you think to be using it when you are crossing the border back into the USA, if your know what I mean.
Your recognition that this and your wonderful day of shopping, and the time spent with a friend, "is a gift of recovery", is mush better than any sale that you found. Being gambling free allows us to enjoy the little things of life.
God’s speed. Stay strong.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie

 
Caught a wild hair …

Enjoy your visit, both you and Debbie should benefit from it immensely.
Don’t let your wild hair take you away from this adventure and cause you to have to battle similar urges that another member of GT with a wild hair faces.
Have a good time, and enjoy, and drive safely, or as they say in Texas, "Drive friendly".LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie

Ken L: co.de.pen.dence … … … …
I just swiped this from the chat-more later~
bettie

Bettie,
And to this definition and understanding of codependense, your can add the advice for the begaining of breaking away from it found is some words of wisdom also coming from Ken L in his post today in the Reflection for the Day  topic. You can learn and become able to provide a positive answer to the question found in that post, "Am I coming to believe that I am free to be the best self I am able to be?".
God’s speed. Keep aware. Stay strong. Take action and move froward.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie

Hi Guys,
… I guess I am rambling a bit …

Dear Bettie,
It is in our rambling that we clear our minds of things, and paradoxically, we also clutter them, for we ramble as you say, when our mind is racing, and we are not exactly thinking with our rational minds, but more with feelings.  I too ramble in a lot of my post, as I will end up doing here; I guess knowing that you are going to go on and on is also just rambling even thought rambling seems to be more of a spontaneous act.
First, I wish I could reach out in person to be with you, but we are brought together in a virtual world that limits  visits to digitally constructed dialog, imaging, and sounds that we send through cyberspace.  But as they say, "this is as real as it gets", and the entertainment industry even labels such technology as "reality shows".
I too am sitting at home instead of being at the fireworks, and here too I am using technology to replace real life, I am watching the celebrations and fireworks on TV, both the ones a few miles from my home, and the ones from other cities that are being broadcasted "live".  I was to join my family in an outing to celebrate, but they called it off because of the heat (I see Chicago is catching up to us by going over a 100° today, you  must have brought it home with you from your visit to close by Southern Illinois — some more guilt for you to deal with  lol; yet just as unjustified and not deserving as you carrying the guilt of an ACCIDENT).  
Anyhow I was sitting here watching the fireworks on TV feeling sorry for myself and thinking that I should be there in person. But then these thoughts changed to my thinking that if I were there by myself I would, just feel worst so I was better off moping about at home. We all have racing thoughts and a lot on our minds that only make things worst than they are when we dwell of them. What makes the difference is how we react to these times, or how we just let them go as a fleeting thought.  Later on when back to reality after feeling sorry for myself, I accepted what was, and knew that I had no real desire to "see" the spectacular show tonight, I was only trying to bring the past back to life. And more than just accepting these things that I could not change, I was going further and enjoying being in the now where my accepting some things or not makes no difference. We do not have to do things, we only need to be.
One thing that struck me and caused me to think in an opposite way about your thoughts on "settling for "something" as opposed to having nothing"; when we think too much we fail to see what could or should be a first and more truthful reaction. By my being removed from the situation I saw you settling for "nothing" as opposed to having something, with the random hour bringing feelings of regret and being resentful, not grateful. Here again, it is better to be than to try and be what we are not. We are better off being ourselves than trying to be someone concocted by comparing ourselves to what we see in the world of "reality" and advertising, or in others that for the most part just put on a front. Parts of the message from your reading at your pinning, Enough , addresses this in a better way.
There are many others that can be the fill in as the child in the Mommy Dearest novel, or the one on Dr Freud’s couch, but these event that have taken place in our lives are in the past. Having knowledge of them and being aware that there is a connection to the way we are now, does not mean that we have to stay being the poster child for a messed up life. "Give me the courage to change the things I can" pertains to changing ourselves also. We do not have to be what others think of us, or molded us into being, we can change and be the person that we are meant to be. We will not be disrespecting our parents or authority figures if after we see the" bs" that was handed down for what it is, we just leave it behind; choosing to be different than what was driven into us is also something that we should have no guilt in doing. 
Well the TV fireworks have been over for a while and I have been rambling, but I have also been putting things behind me and thinking about me in the now, I have been being. And in my rambling and thinking I thought about a recent Today’s Thought send by Ken L and how it might apply to making needed changed to the controls of others, and am ending my going on and on with these less rambling words.

 
 
 
Today’s thought from Hazelden is:

. . . I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy.
–Marie Curie

We are looking for progress, not perfection; however, we sometimes get lost or confused between the two. Expecting ourselves to be perfect at something we are only now learning is a familiar affliction. As we accept our humanness, we’ll allow the mistakes that are a normal part of the process of living and learning – a process we call progress.

Our need to be perfect will lessen with time. And we can help ourselves break the old habits. Perfection and self-worth are not symbiotic, except in our minds. And it’s a symbiosis that has done us a grave injustice. Breaking the old thought patterns takes a commitment. We must first decide and believe that we are worthwhile, simply because we are. There is only one of us; we have a particular gift to offer this world. And our being is perfect as is. Affirming this, repeatedly, is our beginning. But with this, too, progress will be slow; perfection need only be worked for, not achieved.

The patterns I am weaving with my life are complex, full of intricate detail and knots. I need to go slow, taking only one stitch at a time. With hindsight I will see that whatever the progress, it was the perfect fit to the overall design.
You are reading from the book:
Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by trulyshi
 
… Abstinence from gambling allows rationalization which, when caught up in the addiction and active gambling, is not there … 

Today I realized that I am celebrating a different type of anniversary than the ones for reaching certain designated milestones in recovery, and even the daily ones that we personally celebrate and are acknowledged by the life we live.  Today I have been retired from my working career for 20 years.
It is true that this was what is called an early-out retirement, but nevertheless it represented an accumulated 30 years of work, the first two with another employer. Although it was my choice to begin my retirement early, the option was a more-than-a-possibility that I would have been laid off due to cut backs.  So my choice allowed be to collect retirement for the past 20 years instead of having to wait until a couple of years ago for the regular requirement to kick in. All in all I did a lot better even in taking a reduced annuity than I would have otherwise.
Another good thing about my retiring early was that later on when I became a compulsive gambler and built up mounds of debt, my creditors could not garnish my retirement income like they could have if I were employed full time. I was able to use a credit counselling service and other helpful ways to have a payment plan worked out for me that was more beneficial and workable than a court ordered collection. 
Of course I thought of this while at work today, working while being retired. Other than the first two years of doing nothing, I was not able to retire completely, and I still have to supplement my retirement by working, and my compulsive gambling is particularly, to a high degree, to blame for this. Without my gambling away all my other assets I could be sitting back not having to work; but now I am still having to work more than I would like to finish paying off the remaining gambling debts, and am yet to enjoy a true retirement life that gambling stripped from me.
However, I can still feel that I have fully retired from gambling, and that alone is cause to celebrate, and has also effectively multiplied my income tremendously. And even with these restrictions I am still, as posted in yesterday’s Reflection for the Day ,  "finding that I can now enjoy activities that I wouldn’t even consider in the old days" my old days of being in action.
God’s speed all. Stay strong. Celebrate life.
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie
 
… Larry my brother said Merle Haggard ( Along with Dwight Yokum-my favorite ) will be playing the state fair here this year. I won’t make it but maybe your plans will bring you here …

Good morning Bettie,
Thanks for the info but I will probably be "A thousand miles from nowhere" during that time. Merle was just here in St Louis again last week; the "old man from the mountain", seems to be getting around just as much at 75 as when he was younger. I didn’t make that show either, unlike him I am too old to run around like I used to, but every time I see anything about him I think back at the time that he didn’t make the show I went to see in Mississippi (Tunica, the Vegas of the Memphis area). Again, thanks for the support you gave me that night, it goes to show that reaching out before making a mistake is far better than reaching out after one (and thanks GT for the all night chat room that we were able to use that night).
And Bettie, in comparing the temperatures between here and Chicago, you don’t know squat about hot; it has been hovering between 102 – 109 F for the last 4 days and is expected to stay that way until next Monday – the mere 90’s would be a welcome. 
God’s speed. Stay strong.
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by kathryn

 
Nothing will stop me enjoying this trip …
To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan
Bon voyage! Enjoy this adventure as you continue traveling life’s journey.
Larry
 

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie
 
Some good info …
 

Good morning Bettie,
It is good to read the good news about you new niece, even if squeezed in between your problems and struggles with illness and life’s everyday misfortunes; someone earlier posted that "just because you are in recovery doesn’t mean that you cat will not be ran over" — life goes on and we adapt and deal with things in a more normal and rational way.
For some reason, hopefully just being over concerned and caring, I see your digging up the topic of "Symptons of Relapse", and your posting some "good info" about codependency as showing  that you are in need of encouragement and are searching for ways to overcome your recent setbacks so as to not just strike out willy-nilly in search of relieve through gambling. Stay strong, use the wisdom in the articles that you have made the effort to go back and find, keep this type of positive actions in the foreground; and not only reread them to make it fresh in your mind, deal with the symptoms that relate to you and eliminate the need to react in any negative ways whenever they pop up before you have to look back at another bad choice. Be preemptive, not reactive.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware. Act in positive ways.
Larry

Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 6/20/2012 6:20:15 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

Originally posted by flyorra
… recovery is daily …
First, I see that a few new member have joined and I would like to welcome each one with a sincere hope that you each will find something in the words of the other members here that will help enlighten you and inspire you to move forward. Searching out a source for help and joining in this community of fellow gamblers represents you taking the needed first steps of recovery and of a journey of daily effort, struggles, and progress — recovery is a journey not a destination, so be patient and as you follow the guidelines and steps of recovery you will find continued success.After being absent from this site, from not being connected to the Internet, during the past few days, it is good to return to part of my daily exercises and efforts in combating this addiction and strengthening my resolve. As Flyorra posted, "recovery is daily", and more that that it is a process that works best when taken ODAAT. In working my recovery ODAAT and not trying to change everything overnight, or just relying on what I did yesterday, or hoping for what I might do tomorrow, I find that I can be open to new ways and means of staying gambling free, that I can evolve in my recovery just as I evolve in the other aspects of my life. During my very brief absence I was still able to enjoy my more normal life, but now I hope to find additional things to include in my daily efforts, things that are helping others that I will hold on to, and things that are holding others back that I recognize as harmful, or will eventually learn and know to avoid. "Recovery is daily" and our progress is advanced by our daily efforts.And speaking of days, my Father’s Day was quite enjoyable, being with my son and daughter and her family was a great example of the "small" benefits of being gambling free. I spent the entire day with them and never once thought of any reason, especially a gambling one, to leave early, other than much later on after my granddaughter waring me out, and my tiring out after a few hours helping my son-in-law hang cabinets in their new kitchen. I enjoyed a bar-b-que topped off with my granddaughter’s prize winning "Cupcake Wars" desert that she made and decorated at a class for kids — she has had a full and active summer already. And one of the better "gifts" that I received was a Father’s Day message from my daughter in France. It reminded me of a plaque that I received from my children here when I left them to live in France: "Although distance may come between parents and their children, the bond that holds us close will never weaken. The love that we share will never be more than a memory apart"God’s speed. Stay strong, may the bond that holds you to your resolve neven weaken either. LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by kathryn
 
 … Yep, just another day really! …
To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan
Good morning Kathryn,
"Just another day" may have been a reference to you wedding anniversary a few days ago, but today it can be attributed to your gambling free anniversary. Well done on reaching this 3 Year Milestone. Today might very well be just another day in some sense, "Just Another Manic Monday", but without your hard work and resolve to live gambling free it would be another day in the grasp of an addiction and there is no telling how it would be played out, or if it would be here for you at all.
Your adventures on this great journey of life, this journey of living gambling free, has been an inspiration to all. You allowed us to see life as it should be, with all of its problems and struggles of everyday living, and all of the benefits of facing those times without escaping to the world of gambling. It can be done and you are doing it, and have been doing it One Day At A Time for the past 1095 days – 1095, 2012 is a Leap Year.
Enjoy the days to come. Enjoy your adventure in Bali; without your living this more normal way of being gambling free, I doubt if your would be going.
Again, Well done!
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep enjoying and experiencing the adventures of life.
Larry

Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 6/11/2012 12:24:18 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie
 
… if it bothers you so much why don’t you do something about it …

Good morning Bettie,
When I met you you did not look at all like the person that I read about in your description of yourself, sure like the rest of many us, myself included, you carry more weight than one needs; but your appearance is way way far from a person that should not be seen in public or one that should just hide, much different than the one you describe, and for some reason the one you seem to want others to see.
Hopefully you will see my pep talk and the support I am trying to provide when I too say, "why don’t you do something about it "; not about the extra pounds of weight that you carry, you actually strive to do something about that so that is not what I am talking about, I am talking about the weight that you carry in your thoughts — do something about it, let it go.
Carole says to "Name it and claim it" to claim good things for yourself, this is something positive and is "doing something about it"; all of the "Dr Phil’s" that offer the advice of their profession and training tells us that we control how we allow others see us, being positive in our thought and taking that control is "doing something about it". The philosophers of the world and the founders of the major religions teaches us that we are all beautiful people and capable of good things, learn from the minds of those that have found the truth, and accept the works of your Creator.
For me, I will use what I found here and in my GA meetings, and what I use in making the needed changes in recovery to offer my supporting words; practice the Serenity Prayer – "change the things you can", including a few pounds that hinders your health when needed, but mostly changing your attitude and the way you think about yourself, and the way you try to force others to see you through it — you are loosing that part of the battle anyway, when others that count meet you, they see what Jules, Carole, myself, and many others see, they see a beautiful person.  Use one of the many cliches found in recovery to face those that only have negative or hateful thoughts, "We can’t change the events of life, but we can change how we react to them".  You are working on recovery from a baffling and insidious disease, let the knowledge and strength that you are gaining in this help you in the other aspects of your life as well; this is "doing something about it".
Another little something that you might try, another GA cliche, "fake it till you make it; get the passport photo taken at Walgreen’s and blame any flaws that you insist of finding on them being a cheep photographer, not you being a bad subject.  The Government accepts this poor work, and that is the one and only thing that the photo is for.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Smile and think good thoughts.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie
 
… "Caught off guard and under the right set of circumstances"-those words were never truer! …
 
Good morning Bettie,
Thanks for you words of incouragement, and the warning. It was through my being able to reach out in the past and grasp the wisdom of others like yourself, and put it to pratice in my own life, that helped me throught the night.  The events were "under the right (or wrong) set of circumstances", those words were in fact very true, but, thankfully I was not "cought off guard".
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep your guard up.
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by finding_Laura…  So glad that I found recovery! …
Today I too can say once again that I am glad I found recovery, and that it is working in my life. And Laura, I have missed our cuppa together too, the timing is off for meeting in the chat rooms or exchanging "instant" post, but when I am logged on and drinking my cup, I still feel your presents. You are an inspiration and support.
Today, or early this morning I had serious thought of gambling, not urges that I can brush aside, but real thoughts about gambling. I woke up in the middle of the night and felt no need to try and sleep, instead I laid their and thought that being wide awake I could just go to the casino; and an accompanying thought was that I could go and no one form my GA group would see me. And to top that of, once I came to my senses I was able to go back to sleep but dreamed of having a lottery ticket with a big win, and on my way to cash it in, I found a discouraged one with another big win; gambling had entered both my thoughts and dreams.
Thankfully I got up and read some post here and some different articles on combating such thoughts, and in reading I found myself sleepy again. And when I woke up after a delayed good nights sleep, and after the dream, I returned to my reading and and getting my thoughts back on track. My recovery pulled me through, my taking action before a relapse keep me from having to take more difficult actions after a return to gambling — "So glad that I found recovery!".
I also realize now that there was additional help for me other than my doing it on my own, I could have logged onto the chat room, but failed to do that, and I could have even called someone, even at that early hour I know I could have found a caring ear, but failed to think of that avenue. This time I was able to rely on myself and past learning, but next time I may need more, and have now reinforced and renewed that option.  It would have been a painful thought, more hurtful than the thought of gambling, if I had not done everything I could to keep me gambling free.
Thanks for being here, and listening to my needs. In closing a reminder to all that may read this, and to myself — "Don’t Gamble For Anything"
God’s speed. Stay strong. Take action.
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Good morning,
In her post Katheryn commented about her last post being on page 5; mine is on page 6. But I will try to look at it in a different way; it is not because of my negligence and something for me to be ashamed of, rather it is because so many other have been active in this service, many others have been posting and gaining the strength for them to follow through with their resolve. This is good.
However, seeing that for no matter what the reason, I have not posted to this topic for a while. Yet it is still not from neglect, it is because my live has been on a positive plain, somewhat mundane and uneventful even. I am of good health, "considering", my family is recovering from their past aliments and enjoying life after some adversities that have passed favorably. All in all, life is good.
Since I am here I will finish a theme that I started in the "Our Daily Pledge" thread. As stated there a few days ago, the thought came to me as I mentioned Justin in one of my post there, that I owed a lot to many that no longer are active here, and that I would take the time to mention them and encourage others to read some of their past post in hope that they too can find something that will help them. I also expressed my hope that my bringing these ones to the forefront wouldn’t cause any stress or embarrassment to them, or any sad feelings to any loved ones if the CG is out of their immediate lives, or if they are no longer with us in this life; my intent was to have others share in the wisdom and truths found in other stories, and, if any happens to read my post, to say a few words to those on "sabbatical".
I was going to end this theme today in the Pledge pages, but although its purpose was a "remembrance" to those that have been away for a while, I did not want to take away from any thoughts about this day also being Memorial Day, a Day of Remembrance for those that gave their lives in the service of their countries and mankind.  So this division using different topics seems to be a logical alternative. I have one more name to add to the list found in the Our Pledge pages, but know that there are others and hope I do not slight any in any way.
Bryan of the topic Bryan’s Journal  by thebfunk. His post stating "I wrote my name for the first time to make it more real for me. thebfunk isn’t me. Im Bryan", allowed me to say I’m Larry. I had no real reason behind my using a screen name like others that need to keep their anonymity. I chose my screen name with thought however, I chose to use a name the Apostle Paul took when he left the life of Saul behind him, but for me it helped in my finding the real Larry, and did not become a reason for having to live with a different name, if only here in these rooms — it made it more real for me. So Bryan, thanks for this, and for your sharing in your life. I hope to  see your planed on "Bryan’s Journals 2 & 3" some day, and that you are still fighting, or better yet, that the struggles have subsided and you are living a gambling free life.
I would also like to mention a group of members, members that have posted only once or twice, or have left with very little follow through in using the services here. Their initial post were a great help to me and helped pave the way for my recovery, the tales of woe and  tribulations kept be aware of what gambling has in store for me if I returned. I gradually become numb to my losses and devastation, but these fresh reminders keep me form going out on my own to "test" the waters. (If only we could all just listen and learn. learn and live).
God’s speed. Keep aware. Stay strong. LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by Kathryn
 
… Ive been here, as usual every day, reading posts … 
To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan
Good morning Kathryn,
It is god to know that as I am reading post here that there are other that do the same, others that know that working on recovery, even if only reading or meditating on the truths that will keep us free. Nevertheless, I will say that your daily post in the past helped me tremendously, you let me know that life without gambling was possible, and that the adversities of life were not a reason to return to our abyss, but were merely part of the adventures of life that we would survive.  This is not an attempt to get you to start posting daily again, what you are doing is right for you, you are living gambling free; and your dropping in every 5 pages or so keeps you aware of your need of support and where it can be found — and lets us know that you are still around and doing well.
When the past comes back to bite you, you now do what is right and talk about it, and in truth the past in not coming back, it is still the past, such reminders of it is only you using everyday events to remind you of where you do not want to return. When I first started reading about your life, you would have stressed for days over telling Hubby about what you had done, or about the results that finally showed up, and about his unacceptable reactions; now you tell him upfront, and it looks like he reacts in a better way too. Recovery is making your life better.  I was just reading this morning about "life is life" and where life is about attitude; 10% can be accredited to events, and the remaining 90 goes to how we react, how our attitude guides the outcome.
And strange that you mention mattresses today. It is Memorial Day in the States, and I am watching all the mattress sale ads on TV, it is no longer a Day of Remembrance, no longer a day for families to be together (one or more of every family is enslaved to the store owners that honor greed instead on those that gave them the freedom to live); today is a day to push mattresses (and the casino ads are promoting gambling the same).
God’s speed, Stay strong. Keep aware. Rest well knowing that you are doing good.
Larry

Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 5/31/2012 1:12:49 PM: post edited by paul315.

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