[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie

… I am more complacent about recovery-and not excited about it any more- at least not like I was …

Good morning Bettie,
I seem to be in a less-serious mood today than I have the past few, but still do not feel that it is taking away from the serious side of my recovery. Being so, I will first say that it is not the coyotes in Chicago that present a wildlife problem, it is the, and not to mention any names, cougars that pray on the young lol.
And to add to the lighter side of my post, yet with a subtle moral end. When I was working in a high stress and controlled assignment in my past job we seemed to goof off a little to help remove the stress and make our extended hours more bearable. In one meeting a high ranking officer in charge of operations, or at least he thought he was in charge, was in the process of laying down the law when some of us continued with our joking during his meeting. This irritated him some, and in an attempt to regain control he himself told a joke, and then added "but lets be completely serious now". At the same time he uttered those words, he flatulated (fancy word to prevent f*** from being censored). The moral being, that even when being serious the human side of us pops out, it is part of our make up. And I can not hear the word "seriously" with out thinking of the instance.
You say that you are not as excited about recovery as you were, yet you find excitement in the benefit that you get by not gambling. Perhaps your excitement is only being shown in your more human side, a side that was surprised by t the control of this addiction, but nevertheless still within your desire to stop gambling. Perhaps your complacency is more like you having confidence in yourself, and your work in recovery,although seemingly "stale", is still as strong. Compulsive gambling is a baffling and insidious addiction, and it can cloud our thoughts in many ways. Sure you have mixed some social time in with your recovery, the free time at the GA conference that the three of us enjoyed for instance, but in telling of your visits and escapades, you also mention thoughts about recovery — sometimes the seriousness within us pops out when we are being human also.
Take a close look, "a fearless inventory", of where you are today and where you were at the start of this journey, or even where you were when you almost reached a year milestone. You physical appearance may not be where you want, who’s is, but your recovery is progressing, you are moving forward toward a more normal way of life — "progress, not perfection" shows the success of your efforts.  Maybe reading the books will help you stay more focused, and can even teach you somethings;  just your knowing what you should do is also important but you can make things even better by adding to this awareness, crack open the books, read them, and take what will help you and use it  — all of this while continuing working on the basic and simple Steps of recovery. The first step being, " admitting that our lives had become unmanageable"; had become does not mean that it is meant to stay that way — take charge and manage you life and your recovery, including the social part of it that intertwines with the working part.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware. Keep progressing.
p.s . and to close on the humours, or human, side;  remember it is good to be human, or as some realize when being completely serious, "It is better to f*** in shame than hold it in and be in pain"LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind", another year behind, and with the help from all , I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Year 3, Day 2
I have already posted my "Anniversary" post thanking all here and retelling a little of what brought be here, mostly coping from my earlier post in the begining. But the memories that this time has stirred up and the thoughts that or "babbling" in my mind, or now coming out here.  I now find that I am transferring that babbling; hopefully it will not be too long, but after all this is what My Journal is for, e.g. to "Talk about the life you led, the life you’re leading now, the life you want for the future and how you plan to get there".
To once again use the words of Carl (Fandangos), "I remember when I first started coming to this forum" and the first Day 2 that I recently described; and I also remember the following days and the post of a few that carried me past my first Day 2, and a lot of the post that followed that brought me to today, post that helped me in, as Icndothis posted "not just being Gambling Free, but working recovery". This same sentiment was expressed by members of my GA group, that at every meeting I talk about working my recovery more that I talk about the events of my life.
This notice of my deliberate and refined sharing in my participation here and in the GA meetings also reminded me of Carole’s last post when she spoke of finding that she was using this site mainly as a social meeting place and felt that she needed to take a leave of absence, so to speak, and just work her recovery at her kitchen table and on paper. I find that I shy away from telling about my daily personal life most of the time, or that I separate my work on recovery from more social sharing, when contrarily I highly appreciate hearing about the lives of Carole and the others here, stories that help remind me that recovery brings about life, and tosses us into "all" of its adventures, and that it is not just abstaining from gambling that we are working at — a sharing that I know I lack in doing, but apparently something that Carole felt that she over did. (it is hard to balance things out). Well away from that segway and back to my post, but first; Carole, keep reading the post here, and more important, keep working your recovery in a way that you find best.
Today’s Day 2  holds an entirely different meaning than the one in the title of my thread, "Day Two is Still a Day Away", yet the reason behind that title still looms in my mind. While the events of Day 1 at GT was what influenced my decisions, the positive and decisive step that I took, or more precisely, did not take, on my first Day 2 is still one that helps me carry on; a repeat of my actions when I first joined GT is what I do not want to happen again, yet I realize that that next bet is still there and will take over, leading me to another next day, another Day 2 – one that may not be possible, if I do not continue to diligently work at my recovery (we all have a next bet in us, but none are guaranteed another chance at recovery).
Remembering my first days here include the recalling of the first post I received, post from Vera, Kathryn, Ken, to name a few that are still active here, plus, ones from Colin, Steven, and some others that now stay in the background. Vera challenging me to not be the man I introduced, a "man who has a gambling problem. He is broke. He is worried. He is lonely. He is afraid". And Ken and colin in brum challenging me to join GA, something that has proven to be not just the bedrock of my recovery, but more of an important addiction and nourishment to the real world  that GT opens (ironically it being a virtual world of sorts), the one that GT keeps alive by allowing me to take more that "12 Steps", and giving me a place for me to expand my thinking and sharing beyond 17 pages of principles and guidelines, and  the "closed" meetings of other programs.
And Kathryn being, as she put it, "nosy" on her "Day 63" of being clean (she too has come a long way having also reached a 3 Year Milestone; and by using a course different than mine and GA, showing that there are different ways and means for all to be gambling free — we only have to hold true to the way we find best — "recovery works if you work it, it don’t if you wont"), kathryn  asked questions, showed concern more that being nosy, and  challenged me to let others know about my problem and to tell my story here, thereby having it laid out before me to look back on whenever the consequences of my actions seemed to fade. She introduced me to different barriers; and also planted the seed for me to mentally ban myself from the world of gambling through her words, "Mentally, the best way we can fight the urges, is to work out what is triggering them and try to manage them in a different way". A mental ban and mental barriers are stronger than any physical ones that can expire, or that can be taken for granted, only adding to complacency.
Then there is stephen, another member that keep mostly to himself and no linger post, but his postings of his strong beliefs, uncompromising principles (much like Ken’s unweakening stance that keep my feet to the fire), and his questions that challenged me to think, and to look "outside the box", to look at more than the principles of one or two programs. He taught me that I had to truly be Honest, Openminded, and Willing, he made me realize that I had to do "anything" and "everything" that I could to keep me gambling free — we are not doing "all" if we find ourselves slipping, we may very well be doing the best we can at the moment, but sometimes it takes a little extra effort, or just a longer wait to get past that moment in time, and to let rational thinking take back control (the 7 T’s of recovery – "Take The Time To Think Things Through".
Then there is the post of many many others, P, Runninggirl, Frozen, Warrior, Flowers, Geordie, Female G, the "aka" members, the new members that are holding up the banner, and the inactive ones that pop in from time to time; way too many to mention, or remember (and any lack in mentioning them is in no way a lessening of their importance). And not to leave out Laura, another member that is holding on in her own way, and one that I think of with every morning "cuppa", plus Bettie, Reds, and again Carole, my cohorts in the adventures of the Chicago meeting (a combined recovery and "social" meet). Plus one more, Bryan, aka "thebfunk", a member that "came out" and used his real name, leading to my admitting to being Larry; as explained before I chose Paul as a screen name to represent my transition form being CG in action, to a "Cg that doesn’t gamble", a thought taken for the transitions of Saul to the Apostle Paul (and not an useless effort to be known as St Larry  lol). 
This is truly a remarkable community, and I do not remember everyone or every post, but the thoughts behind every post and reply are ever present. And I have not even mentioned another source of strength, so last but not least, I think of the GT staff, one that guides and supports us all through their dedication, professionalism, and wisdom. Now it is time for me to stop babbling and to go out enjoy the rest of a beautiful day — to live life, the greatest benefit of being gambling free. 
God’s speed everyone. Stay strong. Keep aware. Keep active.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind", another year behind, and with the help from all , I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by Fandangos

… I remember when I first started coming to this forum I was really inspired by the likes of Colin who had many gamble free years behind him and others who had stumbled but had dusted themselves off and started again …
Good evening Carl, 
Thanks for your post, it was good to see the recognition you show, and better to see another post from you for any reason to anyone. Keep reading, posting when the occasion arises, and more important, keep working on your recovery and living gambling free.
In seeing this post from you I searched for your own topic to reply, but again realized that you do not have a page for yourself, that you only post to others. But, in seeing your mention of Colin, and in searching for a topic by you, I was able to look over some of the past replies that you, and Colin, have made to me and to others; you too are an inspiration to me and the other members here — Thanks!.
And thanks also to all that have viewed and read my post today, and all the others days, and to those that have responded here and in the chat rooms; it is a great feeling to be recognized and honored by our peers, or in this case my fellow gamblers. I am now on my way to my GA meeting, another action that I take and find helpful in my recovery; recovery works if your work it, and don’t if you wont.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware. Stay active in you recovery and in the ways that you find best and working.
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind", another year behind, and with the help from all , I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by trulyshi

Looking forward to the rest of your story … 

Good morning, my name is Larry and I am a "compulsive gambler that doesn’t gamble" (thanks for the quote Geordie), my last bet was three years ago today, August 13, 2009; and not only was that my last bet, hopefully it will continue to be my "last" bet without any next bet getting in my way of my living gambling free. 
I have introduced myself with this traditional Gamblers Anonymous greeting many, many times at my GA meetings, and here in welcoming the new members to Gambling Therapy during the past years, but today it is more than a greeting or welcome, today it is my celebration of living gambling free. Although many have reached higher milestones, none have found more happiness and peace in the days that led to a yearly anniversary. (Laura you didn’t miss posting on my gambling free anniversary, yesterday’s post was on my anniversary of joining GT. And yes, I am going to do something special for myself today. I am attending my weekly GA meeting; and the little extra something will be the award winning "Cup Cake Wars"-decadent-cupcakes that I am taking to celebrate with the members there Cup Cake Wars is a program on the Food Network, and one that two St Louis bakeries have won in the past two years).
But back to the rest of the story Deb, yet the real rest of the story lays more in the days to come; this continuation of yesterday’s post is merely a reminder to me of where I came from in beginning my journey to live "the rest of the story" being gambling free. The real rest of the story starts each day by my saying the Serenity Prayer, reading a few inspirational messages and passages, reading the post here, and making a daily pledge not to gamble.
 
After a day of binge gambling that let to the morning of the 13th three years ago, I made a decision that I could no longer live the way I was going, I decided to end it all. Thankfully, a few seconds before stepping into an oncoming train at the Metro station, I made another decision; I decided that while it was true that I could not go on living the way I was, I could still go on living, but only in a different way — "without change there can be no change". I then began a true journey of recovery from the addiction of compulsive gambling; at that point in time I had become a compulsive gambler that did not gamble anymore, not just being my old self making another false promise to stop.
Instead of stepping into the oncoming train, I stepped onto it and when home, logged onto GT and started reading and searching for the help that I needed; I found it and more. I also found out about Gamblers Anonymous and decided to go to their next meeting. Coincidentally, (and I think of coincidences as not being a "coincidence" at all, but rather a synchronization of like events, and more profoundly, a predetermined or predestined course of action or arrangement of events), there was a meeting place two blocks from my apartment, a place that I passed by during each of my frequent trips to the casinos during the past few years.
In the meantime I continued to read and use the suggestions and advice of others; advice to set up barriers and to limit my opportunities and access to gambling. The barrier to full use of a ATM machine was put in place for me by my bank for the next six months limiting its use to machines located at the bank as a restriction on any more overdrafts, but I also self-excluded myself from all cash transactions that any casino, and put a limit on my use of my ATM card at the bank locations that I could use; barriers for use of credit cards were also an automatic process, they were all maxed out, overcharged, useless, and cancelled . To make up for this I had to start buying gift cards, cards that I could not use to get cash, to use when a credit card was required. I also asked my daughter to cover my overdrafts and past due rent, an action that is not recommended by some recovery programs, but one that I found most helpful and definitely needed at the time to keep me from any criminal charges. I now know that the reason for not asking for a bailout it that most likely you will just gamble that money away; a fact that I had already proved to be true a few times before starting recovering, a practice that I used when conning money out of friends and family. I guess I can say that I am glad that my bailout came before a GA meeting or I might have considered walking out if that was a requirement, to walk away without trying and giving a chance to the rest of the principles and Steps; another "coincidence" — but one not recommended and not a planned course of action, only one of last resort at the time. 
Today I am enjoying a much better life, one of living gambling free. Now I am not having to lie about not being able to attend family functions and celebrations so that I could continue gambling and feeding my addiction. I am not trying to con anyone out of money to gamble, and money to pay rent or bills because I lost it gambling; I am now able to pay my own way and am very near the end of paying off my gambling debts. Yet, I am still combating the addiction, if fact just the other day I had the addictive thought of renting a car and going to an out-of-town casino where I would not be caught by those that know me at home; a thought that passed by my" Taking The Time To Think Things Through" — practicing the 7Ts of recovery. And even now that I am typing out this post, an ad came on TV for another super-multi-million dollar lottery; my first thought was "what a way to celebrate a gambling free anniversary" –" but then the truth took hold and I added to that fullish thought "to bad I don’t gamble",another cliche to use when an urge or temptation hits us — every time a reason to gamble pups up, it is also a much better reason to not gamble — "stop and think the bet through", "play the tape thought to the end when you return home worst off than you can possibly imagine".  After all "what happens in Vegas (in our own Vegas of choice) stays in Vegas", is another cute and brainwashing, yet highly deceptive, claim by the gambling industry; what you do when gambling follows you wherever you go.
 
Thanks to my program of recovery, my 3Gs, God, GT, and GA, while far from being a grateful CG, a term that many other CGs use, and one that I am yet to understand and see for myself, I and a compulsive gambling that does not gamble, a CG that is doing my best to live gambling free, and a CG that is grateful for the help and support of my Fellow Gamblers and my program of recovery. 
A sincere and heartfelt thank-you to one and all, from the "old timers" that hold true; the "lost sheep" that find there way back and let me use their experiences to remind me that nothing has changed in the world of gambling so that I do not have to return to that abyss to find out for myself (if only we could always learn from the mistakes of other, and from our own mistakes); to the new comers that offer the same warnings and a reminder of the dreadful memories that seem to fade, memories that we need not dwell on, but ones that need to be looked at from time to time in order to keep aware of the consequences and devastation or compulsive gambling, and to the thousands of members that linger in the background letting me know that "I am not alone" — "They also serve who only stand and wait".
Again my apologies for going on, but what I post is just as much for me, if not more so at times, as it is for any that may read it .(I am not actually putting myself last Vera, I am in a sense selfishly using  the topics of others to vent my thoughts and build my strength and resolve).  Nevertheless, I hope and prey that  all that read my post will get as much out of the message that I do, and will be able to find a way to keep themselves gambling free for another day; ONE DAY AT A TIME, They Add Up.
 
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware. Take my hand as I reach out to you for help, and hold onto it as I extend it to all for help and support to you as well.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind", another year behind, and with the help from all , I hope to continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by paul315
… I started my membership in Gambling Therapy with a post entitled "Day Two is Still a Day Away"  I joined this site yesterday (Aug 12th) and was hoping to start my postings announcing that I made it past my second day.  I can’t do that …

Good morning,
Three years ago today, the 12th of August 2009, after searching a few days before for an online source to help me deal with a gambling problem I joined Gambling Therapy. At the time I was not looking for help to stop or even control my gambling, I did not see the gambling problem as one concerning my gambling, my problem at the time was one that I had to get out of, not face. I was merely looking for a defense to use in possible criminal actions involving felony check cashing charges and fraud. I thought that if I could show that gambling had caused mental deficiencies, and that I was seeking help in addressing my mental state that I would be able to get away with cashing a series of hot checks. I did not come here to get help for the real problem that I was yet to fully admit and accept.
 
I felt so relieved that I had put my scheme into action that I went out to celebrate; and it goes without saying that gambling was the way for me to celebrate. Thus showing an affirmative answer to Question 19 of the Gamblers Anonymous 20 Questions before even asking it; again something that I was yet unaware of and still had no thoughts about Recovery. That afternoon I began a gambling binge that covered most all of the casinos in this area and lasted until the following morning, lasted until events of August 13, 2009 caused me to look deeper into the true help that GT was designed to provide. But that is a story to be continued tomorrow, for my post today I will stick to the bridge.
After cashing a series of hot check the day before I was still able to use a check guarantee card that approved and backed electronic check cashing transactions at one casino, digging myself even deeper into my legal problems.(Ironically, using a service from the same company that I now know offers a program of self-exclusion to deny check cashing and ATM use at most casinos.) After that money was gone I went to the next casino that had their own approval system and soon bottomed out that account. Then on to the last casino where I had a line of credit, a line that was also soon depleted by my claiming that I had the funds to cover the advances. My reasoning was that I was positive that by gambling enough I could win enough to get myself out of the mess that I was in; again, this was before I fully recognized myself as a CG and accepted the fact that a compulsive gambler can never chase losses, or can never just walk away with any winnings — that the outcome will always be the same; it is the nature of the beast.
 
August 12, 2009 turned out to be an eventfully day in my life, one that almost destroyed me, and yet one that also led to two decisive decisions the next day; a day that led to my making my last bet that following morning. Hopefully I will be able to tell about those decisions tomorrow.
 
God’s speed. Be strong; be Honest, Openminded, and Willing to admit and accept the facts of this addiction, and the actions that a CG must face and deal with in a positive way in able to live gambling free.
 
Larry

Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind", another year behind, and with the help from all , I hope to continue to remain gambling free.– 8/12/2012 2:13:07 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

Originally posted by geordie18
 
… I am a compulsive gambler that doesn’t gamble …
Living a life instead of living a ***…..Recovery is priceless.
Good afternoon Geordie,
Firstly, my thoughts and prayers are with you on this date of remembrance for your father’s death, and also for the problems that your mother is facing. Adversities can not be avoided, but we can find comfort and strength during these ***** from unexpected sources, including persons setting aside their problems for a moment to express their concern.
Next, well done on keeping yourself in a gambling free frame of mind, for knowing what not gambling can do for you and going after that better way of life. Keep up the good work.  Also, I would like to comment on your phrase quoted above; you come up with different catch phrases from time to time and this one to me is one of your more profound. I have tried at ***** to say that I am a RCG or a CG in Recovery, but I feel that my using ‘recovery’ as an adjective takes away from the importance of my Program of Recovery  (it could possibly be the begining of a  be***f that I now "hold the key" to recovery, and the start of be***ving more in myself than in the process I have been following — This is where complacency and the seed for relapse is planted).

I don’t know if I will ever use your term "a compulsive gambler that doesn’t gamble", but I know that it is one the better describes me in terms of my addiction and using it is a possibility. Thanks, and an early apology if ever I do use it and forget to give you credit.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware, and keep cliches, both old and new, as guides, not just words. 
  LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by jayson       "                     "

Good afternoon Jayson,
Your statement that nobody listens followed by a blank page left for us to fill in is, from what I am guessing, or hearing, meant for us to think more than to listen; for listing to "the sound of silence" can at ***** be a better teacher than our or other’s telling of experiences, struggles, and thoughts. When no one is listening to us, or to anybody, the words we speak do seem wasted; but listening to the sounds of silence calls for us to examine ourselves, search out answers, and be open to any subliminal messages hidden within the silence, or perhaps be open to subtle or suppressed cries of the haunted.
The song by Simon and Garfunkel holds many meanings to different people, just as your blank post can hold different meanings. But the lyrics of their song, and the absence of your words, still shout out a message for all to hear; if anyone cares to listen. In the final stanza of the song, and in your past post, you both speak of "neon gods", or as referred to by you, other’s perceived notions that the only way to be in recovery is to be in a single program, e.g. the GA program. When it truth, while the GA program may be good and fulfilling to many who follow it, other programs that do not teach ODAAT or the importance of attending meeting can be just as effective. We do not have to listen solely at the words coming directly from a prophet or only from a well know program, we can look for and hear the message of recovery that can be found in obscure places such as "written on the subway walls
and tenement halls. And whisper’d in the sounds of silence."  
It comes down to what we are open to and willing to hear, and what we are willing to accept to help in our efforts to combat the visions of gambling that softly creep into our thoughts. Each of us here, and those in other places as well, are reaching out and searching for encouragement and support; and at the same time we are shouting out to the others the same message that we are listening for, "Hear my words that I might teach you, Take my arms that I might reach you" , a message that will guide us to the answers we are looking and listening for.  Or as GA publishes as the same invitation in their pamphlet "Towards 90 Days":  
Fellow gambler, take my hand;

I’m your friend, I understand. … … …  . 

God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware, but not brainwashed, and be oped to and know the difference between the two.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by flyorra
 
… once i was there, i knew better …
                and,
… i knew exactly what i was facing when i went to gamble at the casino, i knew what i was getting myself into, yet still i decided to gamble …

Good morning Flyorra,
Being back to day one again is more of a change to a date than trying to get back into recovery again; you are in recovery from the time you first ask for help from a support group or start to practice the principles required to break away. After that start you are in recovery everyday making progress, some days more than others, and some days taking a step backward. It is the day after that step backwards that takes you even further; when you return to working on the recovery program the day after you are growing. Choosing not to gambled that nest day you are realising that if you gamble again, you will be making a choice to go back again and again. And you made the right choice to not return.
I sometime post about new members, and members that return after a slip, being the most important ones to many others. Not to brush aside your hurt or my compassion for you, but your sharing in this experience shows me that nothing has changed in the world of gambling, and helps keep me from going out on my own to find out. If we could only accept what we learn from the mistakes of others, and from our own.
Your telling about knowing exactly what devastation you were facing and what you were getting yourself back into, yet still gambling when knowing better, reinforces my belief that the harm we cause is not necessary a deterrent to gambling. I for one returned to this hell-hole time and time again knowing that the outcome would be the same, that the same pain would follow me out the doors when I left, or worse, much worse. It wasn’t until I allowed the gambling free time that working on a program of recovery provided, instead of the many less quality ***** of not being able to gamble or just waiting until the next time, that I started being gambling free and not just trying to be.  It is knowing that not gambling is better for me that is my incentive and what keeps me free, the thought of loss and harm is not a main deterrent.
You seem to be thinking alone the same line, by looking for things to buy with your money instead of gambling, looking for the benefits of not gambling instead of depending on the remembrance of the harm to keep you away. Memories fade and no longer have the intense hold that the actual events had, present day activities are always with us ans fresh on our minds. Keep letting the present day good overcome any bad choices.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware of the good in the now.
Larry

Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 8/6/2012 3:16:30 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

Originally posted by Chubbycat

Hi everyone Just writing to say that i am still here, still trying to get better and be a better person….  Today my plan is to … … …
Good morning Cc,
It looks like your real plan for the day is to not gamble; not gambling allows you to do the other things, even if they require a little more thought and effort, that you would not be able to do if wasting your time and energies gambling.  Not gambling allows you to remember and return to the love of things that was ****** from you by this addiction.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Go about your days "with a song in your heart".LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by lorraine

…   I didnt gamble today and that is my progress for today …

Good morning Lorraine,
Well done  !
Good to hear from you and that you are taking banning yourself from the casino a step further, one to where your mental ban will keep you form challenging the one at the casino. Not wanting to go is a step toward living gambling free, and a step away from just abstaining because of restrictions.
Being able to say "I didn’t gamble today" at the end of each day is more than progress, it is reaching a goal that was not possible before. And although not a laughing matter, its can still bring a smile and a gratifying laugh at the control our addiction holds.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep up with the meetings and your visits here; "Meetings make it".LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by geordie18
v What did you think of the openning ceramony of the Olyimpics?

First.  Geordie, it is good to see you active in the forums of GT, keeping active is a good way to stay strong in recovery.
   ^  As for your question, I enjoyed what I was able to see; it was amazing how the staging, mechanics, cast, and special effects fell into place so perfectly.  
Here in the States we were treated to a delayed, edited, and an often commercially interrupted viewing. The ceremony while different than ones in the past far far exceeded the wrongly perceived shortcomings expressed by, sorry to say a fellow American, but one somewhat disillusioned by his ego and narcissistic behavior, as "disconcerting" signs that London was ill-prepared for the Olympics. All in all, it was a great show that showed that a"bustling" and great city did not have to be held down by the size of the task before it.  (My halfhearted apologies for using this question for comments better suited in a "Trafalgar Square" type venue)
   >  Right now I am watching the delayed showing of men’s beach volleyball.
    v  Did any here have any urges to bet on the Games, or for the bragging rights of your Country; and if so, did rational thinking and a strong resolve overcome addictive thinking? (for me watching the events are better without any regrets of losing a bet)LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by chris-m
… My main problem is … … …
Good afternoon Chris, my name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was August 13, 2009. Welcome to GT, a place that can help you see your true main problem, one of being controlled by an addition to compulsive gambling, no matter what the "**** of choice" may be.
As for finding a rehab facility, as Bonkers posted, the Gordon Moody Association, the governing head of GT, is a provider of residential treatment for addicted gamblers. You can ask and find other questions about this service in the GMA residential treatment, Q & A  forum, and even find an online application in the link found at  Gordon Moody Residentail Treatment Application Forms.
As for your problem, roulette machines are not your problem, your problem is compulsive gambling. The machines do not rob you, they merely take the money that you feed them; what robs you is this addiction, your real problem. It robs you of self esteem, control, and rational thinking, not to mention your livelihood and any happiness that is yours when living a more normal life. But, here you can start in finding the underlying reasons behind your problem, you don’t have to wait to be accepted in a rehab program, you can start now. Here you can visit every single day before, and instead of, choosing to go to the bookies. Here you can start reclaiming control and start living a better way by using the services of GT as a threshold for going into any rehab program that you feel you need.
Read the post of others and use the advice and suggestion that help us to progress on our journeys, do all you can to combat this addiction. Set up berries to help delay acting out any urges or irrational thinking. Use these roadblocks to give you time to make changes to the real problem that most CGs have, an emotional problem that we escape from by using e.g."roulette" machines, a problem that can be faced and diminished through change in our character, lifestyle, thinking, and attitude. Without change there will be no change. 
God’s speed, use your Higher Power to guide and strengthen you.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by schnauzerlvr

than not go for awhile ….
Good morning Schnauzerlvr, my name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was August 13, 2009. Welcome to GT, a place for those that are adversely affected by gambling. A place for you, and a place for those that you feel a need to be or found yourself separated from because of this illness; each of you have been adversely affected.
These others can also use the services here (the Friends & Family Forum and Chat Room, the Live Advice Helpline, and the Community Chat Room) to help in understanding your addiction, understanding their hurt and uncertainties, and learning the positive ways to support you while protecting themselves as you rebuild your life. It doesn’t have to be 1 life lived alone, but it will be without you making changes, and being Honest, Openminded, and Willing – the key words for HOW recovery works.  The wedge that gambling drives between you will only widen by time and callousness if not faced head on. 
You mention your desire to stop rather than to control, this is a more positive approach to this addiction and will prove more beneficial in the end. Once we reignite the flame, or poke the monster, after a time of absence it seems to burn stronger, and consume more.  You also mentioned attending Gamblers Anonymous but not following through; the principles of GA are based on stopping and not controlling, so it might be a good step for you to take and start attending meetings again, sticking it out, and practicing the 12 Steps of Recovery. GT is a great source of help and support, but some CGs need more . We all need to do all we can to combat this disease and stay gambling free, and live meetings may be the help that will carry you through; it you carry through with them — "recovery works if we work it, but don’t if we don’t".
Keep coming back here, participating in the services offered, read the post of others and follow the advice and suggestions that are helping them progress; do all you can to help you to be the person that you are meant to be, to be a life living free.
God’s speed, use your Higher Power to guide and strengthen you.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[paul315]

Originally posted by paul315 in the "The ^>v Game"

… V Is there any reason that would cause you to gamble again, if yes, what? (Also if yes, what are you doing to overcome that reason?)

In asking this question of others I had my answer already; it being "caught off guard and under the right set of circumstances", or perhaps for a "just for the hell of it" experience to see if I could. Any reason however, would be just that, a reason and an excuse, and a reason that I need to keep at bay.
I find myself in, or place myself in, "the right set of circumstance" often; I am picked up and dropped of at a casino weekly to visit my family, and I on occasion go to the casino buffets, and have stayed in their hotels and attended their concerts since I have stopped gambling. This would present and give opportunity and reason for me to gamble if it were not for me keeping aware and staying "on" guard at all times.  I could eliminate these circumstance but I would be inconveniencing others or not visiting family at all, and I would be denying myself of the benefits of being gambling free — recovery is about living, not about hiding away and barricading ourselves in a protected den, it is about freedom, not living in fear.
So instead of eliminating the circumstances (something that I feel that I could not entirely do – the monster is all around us in every task we do and every place we visit from going to the grocery store, bars, and even to church when they promote bingo game,s and at work with the office pools and raffles — there is no escaping the valley of death), I work at keeping my guard up so that when temptation is before me I can let it pass; I do not have to make a bet "just because".
The other reason is the "just for the hell of it" or to see if I could control my gambling. To overcome this feeling and reason of complacency I must diligently work daily on the ways and means to keep my recovery fresh and not become complacent. I cannot become caught up in a "Pink Cloud" where I would believe that I am now the one that "holds the key" to recovery. This is where the seed for relapse is planted. This is where I would begin to believe more in myself than in the process they I have been following. (see http://ezinearticles.com/?Relapse-Prevention-and-the-Pink-Cloud&id=350092)
So in answer to my own question, the answer is, yes there are reasons that I would gamble, we all have that next bet within us; and in answer to the second part of my question (after all Jilly, "I don’t do things by half"), I am working diligently at keeping aware, and faithfully doing my best to not gambling for anything, or for nothing. 
If any are hesitant in answering my question about reasons to gamble in The ^>v Game , skip it and go to one before mine and answer one of those, I don’t see any restriction on jumping out of line. Recovery is about living, and living does include participating in the lighter side of GT.
 
God’s speed. Keep aware. Stay strong.
Larry

Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 7/26/2012 7:08:53 PM: post edited by paul315.

[paul315]

Originally posted by bettie

… This addiction cr*p is annoying! …
I’m not gambling today.

Good morning Bettie,
You are right this addiction thing is annoying, but on the other hand, the recovery thing lessons that aggravation when we diligently work at improving our lives and realizing that it does not come from instant miracles. One of the annoying things that I have found is that while no money = no gambling, it also allows our addiction to nourish thoughts about how gambling will give us money; and conversely, having some extra money will bring about similar thoughts  to gamble — compulsive gambling is a baffling and insidious addiction and this is why you are having these thoughts.
Today’s post in the Reflection of the Day is a good reminder of how to get past these negative thoughts, and its question, "Have I begun to realize that my ultimate contentment doesn’t depend on having things work out my way?", can cause us to think in more positive ways. Like you say, follow your own advice, but also follow the advice and wisdom found in searching for additional advice and encouragement to act on each.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Keep aware.
 LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

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