[p]

Thanks K
Well. I have not been in a good place lately. I sunk into a pretty low depression. Not gambling but ***** were just really hard to deal with. Havent felt like posting to be honest
P

[p]

Hello
Well another morning is here but I am having some urges. I will get through them, there are many things i can do this morning. I am changing my boys room around so that he gets a suprise when he is home. I am also going to try to do some exercise today though it seems to be at the bottom of the list as far as my motivation goes. I am finding it hard to settle. i feel restless this is not a good sign but i will not give in, i won’t. I have to stop now, for good, no more relapses, if i go once i am gone.
P

[p]

No gambling today. I imagine us all at GT in a big circle holding hands. Joined and united by our desire for a better life. Love this place. It is a dose of sanity.
P

[p]

Hi again i feel like i have to post again. Well i am here with a bottle of wine and a pizza. Its amazing the little things i can buy when i dont gamble. Its not just the money though its the state of mind, i have been feeling very depressed but i know it can be a kind of grief when you say goodbye to gambling too, its been my friend in a way. Its temporarily filled the hole in my soul but only while in action. Once out the doors broke and insane in my mind, i was so much worse off. I never want to go back to gambling i really dont. I am having a treat. My son had a treat, friends, food and fun and usually i go without. This time i thought make recovery fun, make it good and worthwhile. If i deprive myself all the time in guilt i will go back to gamble because i feel so bad. if i make this journey enjoyable well hey, i might just be able to do this. i think my last relapse was enough, i really do. I couldnt go through what i just did. I have crawled out of this relapse i really have. It totally flattened me. I dont want to go back.
I was ready for a chat but no one is around at this time i will have to time it better. here is to all of us. On our journeys.
P

[p]

Keep going R2C.. those days will continue to add up. What Sherry just said clicked in my head. Learning what we dont want… we dont want gambling anymore.
P

[p]

Yes this pledge is not just for ican and myself it is for all, cat was just including us, please join in and thanks again cat
P

[p]

Hiya K hows things, im on a bit of a posting frenzy today. Just like the old P hey. Hope things are going well for you today and would love to chat again soon, i really enjoyed our last chat.
P

[p]

Thanks RG, Cat and Sherry
Well, it is Autumn here the weather is cooling a little but nowhere near cool like you have. Our cool maybe your warm?
Not sure i get confused with the time and weather zones still all over the place and ive been her for ages.
Things are getting a little better each day but i do have a big sadness in me and i do have some urges today. Oh well, it is life and i have to get on with whatever comes without gambling.
P

[p]

Hi I won
Enjoy that breakfast with your son. You are doing good.
P

[p]

Hi Maverick
Your post was really heartfelt and of course you love your wife and kids. This addiction doesnt care about families or loved ones or anything. It is an addiction and addiction takes over our lives and has us in situations that are simply unimagineable to us. I dont think anyone deliberately goes out to get hooked but thats what happened. The strength in you is you are fighting to stop it and have a better life. Its easy to beat ourselves up, i do it all the time but am trying to stop it as it is one of the things that can send you back into addiction. We are human, we make mistakes, we got addicted and now we are trying to fix it. You are a kind person Mav i can tell in your posts. I am glad you decided to post. One day at a time. Is all we can do.
P

[p]

Thanks for adding us into the monthly pact cat. I dont plan on gambling today even though i have some urges popping in, i will just wait them out.
P

[p]

Hi Sherrie
Good choice on the bar stools, way to go. Thank you for posting the mindfulness stuff here. I appreciate it
P

[p]

Well done Hetty you did great. Your recovery is just zooming along. way to go
P

[p]

Hi Debbie
I feel for you in that situation. It is easy to quickly assume and blame yourself for this. It may have nothing to do with you why he has this outburst. There could be pressures or problems he has not told you of. Counselling would be great if he would agree to it, thats the tricky bit i guess. You are so hard on yourself. This really may not to be to do with you. But you copped the blunt of it.
P

[p]

Hey Lizbeth
It is very challenging being a carer. You need to definately take time out for you for some relaxation. If you dont you will go insane.. It is normal to need time away. Then you are in a much healthier frame of mind when you return for both yourself and your hubby. Can you do something really nice, get your hair done or something that is special and relaxing to you. Take time out with a book, movie, fave food. Thinking of you and think you are going through something really huge!!
P

[Author]

Posts