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Hi Vera glad to see you have your own thread now too. One thing i noticed in your above post is that you didnt mention you had a LOT of recovery time within the time of being here. Had you not been here you may have had none. I remember you getting a year at one point. I think thats a big positive. You have had plenty of gamble free time while here and you have gambled sometimes too. There is still progress in there Vera. Had you not come here you may be more in debt than you are now. So glad to see you post and I am looking forward to our chats to come. Good on you Vera, dont beat yourself up. Its done, move forward now, give yourself the chance by also being kind to yourself. There are many who come here and don’t come back at all Vera. You have stayed and persevered like me. We will get there!!
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No gambling, some***** i may want to, and i may want to a LOT but what is evident to me is i cant. No matter how much at ***** i want to go and thats all it is a want to do this stupid habit. I have to let it go, It hurts me, it makes me sick. it poisons my mind and my life and my thoughts and it takes me over if i let it. So today i dont let it, i let the hope of living an addiction free life flow through my veins today. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, I feel calm and tired yet hopeful that if i havent given in this day either there is more and more hope growing that i may this time not give in.. all possible of course yet tough to get that through my little brain some days….. on goes the journey
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Thanks Nancy so glad to see you are ok and not gambling, you were gone a long time. I always kept thinking about you, just because you are not here you are not forgotten. Glad to see you and thanks for your post. Some days i just want to gamble plain and simple. No excuses, no i need to because… just because some days i really want to. Thats all it comes down to for me, my desire to gamble and my desire not to gamble and on a daily basis i want the desire not to to be that little bit stronger. The good voice is still winning. My desire not to gamble today outweighs my desire to. Though it changes pretty much all through the day and really its like a balancing act for me. I have to do things to get heavier in the desire not to gamble to get me through and this is GA meetings, talking to people and counselling. That gives me a greater chance of keeping that desire not to gamble heavier on the scale of the desire to gamble… have a good day all. Im tired, but happy to make it through another day
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Hi RG well done that is super fantastic news!!!!
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Congrats cat.. 6 months is wonderful!! be proud of you.
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Hi Kin i am glad I got to see you in chat even though only for a short time. Thanks also for encouraging me. I encourage you too Kin to continue on this journey. We can do it, keep going baby steps, one day at a time
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Thank you very much for all your encouragement too. So nice to see everyone cheering me on, i wish a gamble free life for all of you too. Just gotta stick together.
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Well its very late here and I can’t sleep. Some things bothering me, I am easily sensitive but I got the weirdest feeling something was up today from someone. I hate what my mind does, I start worrying and worrying and can’t sleep. I try to let it go, I know in the morning I will most likely feel better but at the moment things seem magnified.
I got through my urges.. they come regularly and I feel i won’t make it but then I fight like mad. I get in touch with people before I go rather than after. I never want to go back and I get so scared that I will. I sometimes start to feel it wasn’t so bad and that is dangerous thinking for me. I am aware of it at least and trying really really hard to stay on track. Im not interested in the time up. I want a gamble free life so for me ******** days doesn’t matter. Gambling is in the past. I don’t gamble anymore.
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Crazy **** urges !!! ugh
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Two days now in May for me. Well the beginning of the Second but i can say it will be gamble free because i have made up my mind this morning that thats how this day will be….
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Wow congratulations Ed
you are going fantastic… yipppee to the gamble free life
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Вау поздравляю, Эд
ты идешь фантастически … yipppee к жизни без азартных игр
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RG thanks so much for that post it really gave me a boost. You are right, we can do this, we are doing it!! This time we can ***** that gambling demon into the past where it belongs. Just making my little pledge today that i wont gamble for anything. I will not put my recovery at risk today for anything. What happens happens and it doesnt need to involve gambling, because i no longer gamble. That is a chapter in my life that has come to a close. It was once a part of me but no more. I let it go…. Goodbye gambling…. ***** life
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Welcome back Bettie
Glad you had a wonderful time with Debbie. Makes me happy to read that the Two of you spent some time together. This place bonds a lot of us and though most of us are in cyberspace the bond is there nonetheless.
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Do you know what. Whatever i say i doubt if will be the same as i feel the next day or even the next hour. i can post that i am totally strong, the next hour i may be half way out the door to gamble. My days are made up of many emotions, many feelings, many urges, many ***** i feel i just cant do it.. then i feel ok i can, then i feel ok i can’t, and on it goees. Its overwhelming some days wow
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