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Hi there Bettie
Hope things are going well for you, i ve been in a bit of a rut and not posting like i used to so decided to start again and get round the forum a bit to say hi and connect again.
I am glad you got the insulin pump sorted out. I am also glad to see you havent gambled in so long, very inspiring

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Hi Laura i am glad to see things have worked out a bit for you with hubby.. so sorry i have not posted so often and i always think of you and my GT friends here but i have been in such a rut.. feel like i am getting out of it now slowly slowly. Thanks for the reminder that my moods can also be associated with gambling withdrawal, i can see that that could be the case too. Though i always struggle with moods i do find the addiction makes me crazy some days too.. Thank you for always being there for me Laura i really appreciate your thoughtfulness. Hope you have a good week and i would love to see you online for a chat again sometime. I can never seem to catch anyone online these days, must be the time diff…

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Hi Liz
I loved reading your post, i always enjoy reading what you are up to and i love how you are honest about your thoughts and feelings.. The reason there are so many people looking forward to seeing you is because you are obviously there for them, what goes around comes around type of thing. It is obvious to me how kind you are to others it shines through on these pages, you are kind to them not for your own recognition but for the natural love you have with in you and i love how genuine a person you are.. even though we havent met in real life it shines through on these pages. You have been through massive changes and handled them beautifully. I am just so proud of you even though i know you only through here, i see your growth and your change. You write about what you had written on these pages re your husband but really you wrote them and most people just think them. i think those thoughts and feelings were totally normal and honest at the time and thats how it is. You neednt feel anything bad from wrting that, you were there for your husband till the very end and you were the most supportive person in his life. People fall out of love romantically quite often and you were still there, still loving him in your way and supporting him.. it would have taken an incredible amount of strength to nurse your life partner Liz through that process. I cant comprehend it, i dont think anyone could. I have lost people but to do what you have done is something i dont believe people could understand unless they experience that themselves. I know that grandson of yours is so so lucky to have you in his life. I know you will just be so happy to see each other and it is such a beautiful bond you share. I hope that you continue to do things for you though also.. things to fulfill your life and good things for you. You really deserve to be looked after youself a little and if there is no one else to do that then its going to have to be you.. so look after you like you look after others Liz. Give yourself that same attention and kindness. I think you are awesome

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Thank you very much for your posts to me.. i am going to be posting a bit more and you actually helped me by encouraging me some more so thank you for that.. i am glad to see that you are going along well with your gamble free life now. It is great to see. I love that you went and bought that cake to share with the neighbour that is such a good thing to do. it shows change, it shows kindness. Thinking of others. Someone once said to me that when i feel sorry for me or i am having urges, go do something for someone else, it was a great piece of advice. I find things hard some days with moods and urges and life but i am getting through. Its great to have here to come write down how we are feeling each day. Keep going Sam i am happy for you. I hope you hear from the soho treatment centre soon too..

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How are things? Maybe you are still on holidays.. I hope you are having fun with those kiddies.. see you when you get back

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Hi Laura
Sorry to hear whats happening, i really do understand sadness just not for the same reason as i have no partner in my life but i understand that sad feeling. I hope that it can be resolved sooner than later. Its an emotion that just hits and sits. I find it hard to shift, i never fully shift it but some days it kind of takes a back seat but it always re appears. Your sadness has a cause which is good you can pin point it and then if that issue is resolved then the sadness will hopefully lift with it. Life is so weird sometimes what is throws at us. Thank god i guess that you are not gambling with all of this. I hope you had a happy christmas and i am so glad to see you posting again

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Hi I can, i can relate to you wanting to gamble like that, i have nearly lost my mind the last few weeks with urges to gamble. They hit very hard and were very intense and just wouldnt leave my mind, but look what has happened, we have both come out having not gambled. Wow. Thats wonderful

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I only need to get through today without gambling, thats all. I dont have to look ahead its too far away, i dont have to look behind its gone. Just what happens today.

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Well i am so glad to see that post and to read that the course has helped you so much, that is wonderful!!
It is so nice when we dont have that constant obsession

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Sam that is really great that you are thinking about studying. What a great thing to do to get your mind on to something else and how useful that would be.
I worry a lot too, i use the serenity prayer from GA a lot. God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference. Sometimes i say this over and over and i really think about what is in my control and what isn’t. If it is something i cannot control then i have to try to let it go and let be what will happen. if it is something i can control then i try to look at what small steps i can take to help toward the situation or make it a bit better. it is hard to let go some days but i just find that this helps. keep going sam on this journey, you are not alone here.

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Hi Laura
Thanks for posting to me and it is good to see you back here posting. Sounds like you have been super busy and i know you constantly have the challenge of physical pain which would be so hard for you. I hope all your renovations go well and that you get to have some time for you before the mad christmas period.
So good to see you back again. You have been missed.

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Hi there, hope you are doing well these days and i want to thank you for your continual support to me.. whenever i feel that there is no one there, i get a little message from cat, its amazing how it pops up at the right time. So thank you cat. You are very caring about the people here too and it wouldn’t be the same little community without you in it. Wishing you happiness today.

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Hey Bettie, you are not posting so much these days and i hope your spirits lift and you come back here and post again. I miss seeing what you are up to. I hope that things are going better now for you physically with that shoulder and your insulin pump is doing its trick. Its a strange time of year for me. Hope to see you again soon.. thinking of you

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Have fun with that grandson of yours.. i was very proud to read you are going to give the parents the opportunity to find their responsibility toward their child… fantastic. Its great you are still there for them at times like their christmas parties and you still get time to be with your grandson without actually raising him yourself. Your time for that is done and it is time for you now Lizbeth, to fill your life with things that make you happy and maybe things you are yet to discover.. there is a whole world full of things out there and yes helping others is good but how about helping you first. You’ve had a rough year and you deserve time to do just what you want to do and i hope you find things that are fulfilling for you.. give yourself the chance to have some fun in your life too just for Lizbeth…

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Hang in there and dont give up. Its easy to give up, keep on going here and keep on posting and getting your thoughts out. it really does help. You have a connection here to people who understand. Just try again with the counselling appointment, just keep trying until you get one. If you dont get one today try again tomorrow.. as the days go by and the more gamble free time you have the better you will feel, just give it some time.. you have support here, dont hide away

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