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Thank you cat for supporting me.. i appreciate it, its a struggle right now mentally, financially, emotionally, physically.. all of my own creation.. thank you for thinking of me

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I am thankful for the posts of support i really am. Things are bad, I’m in a bad way. There was no slip, blip, bump in the road this time. It was a full on frenzied relapse that has left me wanting to die and feeling exhausted and disgusted and without much hope. They are just feelings though and i would never do that to my little family but its how i feel. Not going to beat around the bush just say it how it is now. Things are bad, things are tough, but its my doing. Im an addict, i did it, its going to take me a long time to recover

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Hi Lorraine i want to say thank you for my post and i agree with sad its not too late for you or anyone.. Im struggling badly, am in a bad way. dont know il ever get it but back trying again. Thank you for thinking of me

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Thank you all for your support, I have missed everyone here too. I have wanted to post but didnt through fear of others reading and then i thought to hell with it, those who dont understand won’t.. I have no support from the people I have told.. but i do have support from here and GA and the like.. I need to grab onto that support and fight for freedom as I am in such a bad place. I have the tiniest spark in me of hope but the rest is pretty black.. If it weren’t for my little family I dont think i would have survived. Some days I dont even want to. Sick horrible thinking but that is whats happened. Im clinging to the shred of me that is left.

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Im only counting days till one week.. i just want to count the first seven days because right now I’m having trouble getting seven minutes.. i feel like I’m going crazy.. this is so hard to get through and i am praying today just for the strength to make it through this day.. just to be ok, to be able to cope, because right now, i am not..

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Still no words but i have this lump in my throat constantly, like i am going to just open those floodgates and its all going to come out.. Its not though because i have to work.. I have to keep it in there and fake it till i make it.. I have to plaster a smile on my face that i hate so much right now.. Inside i am dying, I am so devastated, I am so upset. It is going to take some time to recover..

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Hi SJ

Hope you are still doing well and look forward to chatting again in our chats in the morning, oh well i guess your nights..
Was good to chat anyway, hope to do it again

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Hi Laura
Hows things these days? Just wondering how you are going and hope to catch you here some day for a chat.
I hope you are happy with the renovations and your pain is not getting any worse. Cant wait to hear from you again

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Hi there Kathryn
Just wondering how you are doing of late. Ive been plagued with urges for a few weeks they are driving me crazy but hanging in there.. hows things with you.. whats the latest update, miss seeing you round here and in chat

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Hey I can just wondering how things are going for you lately.. I’ve been having some urges lately that just won’t let up.
Hope all is well for you and that you are ok and hope to see you again soon

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Hi there Sam

Things have been a little quiet round here of late, hopefully you will be in chat soon and we can catch up then.. I’ve been having those monster urges again. Hope all is well for you

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Hi again Liz
I cannot believe how much you do, you never seem to stop! There is always something you have been up to. I had an idea to do some exercise, i have started i just haven’t dont it regularly hehe… i am a bit unwell today but i will look at getting back to it when feeling better.
I am hoping that you have a great time with that grandson of yours for the holidays.. what a lucky boy.

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Hi Carole
I too have been having gambling urges, I’ve had them for a few weeks now and they just keep appearing. You are right, its a habit. Trying so hard to create new ones, just got some chocolate, not a great habit, but maybe i will reach for that rather than a machine.
I hope that you are getting some clarity on your relationship with Danny. Also wishing some work would come your way.
You are doing good really Carole. Enjoy your time with the grandkids.

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Hi all
I thought i would share what helps me when i get urges.

I send out a group text to my GA friends as soon as i have an urge. That way i know that i am likely to get a reply as its sent to a few people and it gets my “secret” out in the open.

I also use delaying for half hour at a time when its bad, put on a movie, start cleaning something, talking to someone, chatting, reading, writing, eating something delicious, walk, anything really to not focus on that urge as its when i focus on it that it grows in strength.
I say i will wait half an hour, then i keep doing that.

Just sharing what helps me sometimes

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How are you today I can.. just wondering how things are for you and whats happening in your world today. I hope you are feeling ok and that life is good. Maybe come to chat some day for a chat.

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