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I am glad things are working out better for your daughter now with moving. I know you are so aware of the addiction, i know it calls us, wish i could save everyone from going through what i just did.. you think i would have learnt after five years of being here..

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Thanks Ican, Carole and Twilight, i took something from what each of you said today.
I have gone back to GA starting over again is hard. You think i would learn after all these years. Im not someone who has got it from day one, wish i was. Its taken years and i am still trying. I have no answers. I am totally stumped some days.
A few days in and I have to hang on and just think that things will improve. Life will get better. I just have to hang on.

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It was nice to wake to your messages of support. Woke thinking i had woke from a nightmare but not the case, well it was a nightmare it was just real life. My own doing. My own insanity. I just have to try to continue. Its hard being in my head today

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Happy birthday i can and i hope that you are able to let go of the past.. i am finding it extremely difficult to do on this day one of mine.. can only keep trying.. hope your day was a good one

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How are things going in your new life again back in the country with Danny.. i hope its going really well and think you should be proud of yourself on your decisions to leave and return it takes strength.. i am sure you discovered lots about yourself with your time away.. things for me are really bad right now.. really have never been worse.. mentally, emotionally, financially.. ugh.. just horrible but starting over today and returning to GA ..

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Im back again, same old story only ten times worse, you dont want to go back to that life Laura.. it is hell… your recovery is so inspiring, i feel like such a failure.. i think of you all often

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Thank you for your post… things are bad for me, the worst they have been.. ive created one catastrophic mess for myself.. gotta start the mop up today.. thank you for your inspiration. I only wish i could be as strong as you… i can only hope i can get as far in recovery and live life again. Be proud of you K..

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I admire how you are going in recovery.. i am hanging on to any inspiration i can get.. things are bad and i am praying i get through. Starting again. I look at you and cat, and kathryn and so many others that give me inspiration.. everyone does, the ones who have not relapsed, the ones who come back when they do and keep trying.. i respect everyone for trying… cant find much respect for myself right now though.. but glad there are people like you here who offer me some kind words, they were appreciated thank you

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Reality strikes as my head tumbles through the last few months that are just a whir in my brain.. all mixed together, pain, anxiety, the highs and lows, the devastation, the desperation. Reality isnt kind today. Its come to visit and Im not liking what i see. Reality has stayed away a while, kept me in a cocoon somehow.. not anymore, its back and its raw

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You know my prayers and thoughts are with you from across the seas.. there are no words to describe what you would be going through right now.. all i can say is im thinking of you..

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Not good however.. Starting again. There really are no words..

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Things are bad. The worst so far. Just hanging on to a shred of sanity and trying to come to terms with the damage. Starting over today AGAIN

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Sorry all i cant do this right now

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Hi everyone

Totally sleep deprived.. going crazy but have woken up today with the firm resolution to change this attitude.. really trying to pull myself out of this hole of misery..
Today i will write a list of things to do and follow it the best i can. I will try to keep up my meetings and not isolate. I cant change the past.. i cant also predict my future according to my past which i have been doing.. its a new day i just have to make the most of it. Today if i dont gamble that is fantastic for an addict like me

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I love that you post.. i always loved talking to you in chat over the years. I understand how devastating this addiction is. Im living it and its quadrupled in its nastiness.
Hanging in there just but still hanging in there in the hope that i can get somewhere.. maybe i won’t but trying. Good to see you.
Hope to chat again some day, i always find you so refreshingly real to chat to

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