[oberliner]

Thanks to all who responded. I appreciate the support.

Yes, I have posted here in the past – but I had been gambling free for a long time and essentially thought the problem was behind me.

Sadly, in a matter of a few weeks, I have undone all of the progress I thought I had made and ended up losing all of my savings through gambling online.

I had – for about three years – turned over my finances to my brother. Thinking I had this licked, I took control back (he was also getting a bit tired of having to continue to pay my bills for me, etc.).

Long story short, after about a month or so I dipped my toe into playing fantasy sports games for money online. I won a bit of money the first few times – and then things quickly went downhill.

Within a few days I gave back all my winnings and then continued to play (chasing losses, etc.) in a very out of control fashion until I had wiped out all of the money that had recently been turned back over to my control.

I would place bets in the late afternoon – lose money on the sports games in the evening – vow to never do it again. Put the site on a “blocked” list, but then the next morning I’d “unblock” the site, convince myself that I needed to try again – and on and on until all the money was gone which took just a few weeks.

I sit now in absolute despondency and depression – not only at having lost all the money that took years to save, but also in the fact that I still feel an overwhelming urge to gamble and find myself scanning through thoughts of how I can acquire money in order to be able to do so.

Thankfully, I have no acting on those urges and am now about to go to sleep on what will be my 2nd day of gambling. I don’t feel like this is cause for celebration because I feel like if I had any money in my account it would continue. But the extra effort it would take when I don’t have that money has been enough of an obstacle to stop me for the time being.

That is where things stand right now. I tried GA once and was turned off by it. I have also been in therapy but didn’t feel like that went anywhere as well. I have other addictive tendencies along with anxiety and depression so I probably should see a therapist but I just am not motivated to do so.

That is where things are at for me right now. Thank you for listening, and I’d appreciate any insights.

[oberliner]

I apologize for the post. I am just alone and lost and gambling away all the money I worked so hard to save. It’s been a horrific week of binge gambling that has wiped out every penny and more. I didn’t know where to turn or how to help myself. I was out of control. I am trying this morning to pick up the pieces but I am in so much pain I can’t stand it.

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