[notyoung56]

I will continue to journal about all my relapse and my recovery – my gambling and non-gambling days, good and bad event that happen in my life.

I used to focus on my half empty glass; I focus on my half full glass now.

There are many disappointments in my life but there are beautiful moments.

There are many things I did not do but there are some things I did that I should be proud of.

Despite my limitation, weakness, and mistakes – I can be helpful and useful in my small little ways.

Despite everything that has happen in this life; in the past and now – I have travel far.

I need to focus on the positive things in life and keep moving while the negative things continue to happen to me.

This is life, this is my story.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by notyoung56.

[notyoung56]

GAMBLER ‘S AWARENESS SPACE

Relapse pattern theory is a way of explaining why people relapse.

Relapse is random, it is either planned or opportunistic.

According to the theory, it happens when the activity space of gambling intersects with the activity space of the gambler.

A gambler’s activity space consists of locations in everyday life, for example home, work, school, shopping areas, entertainment areas etc. These personal locations are also called nodes.

The course or route a gambler takes to and from these nodes are called personal paths.

Personal paths connect with various nodes creating a perimeter. This perimeter is a person’s awareness space.

Gambling pattern theory claims that a gamble involving a gambler and a casino can only occur when the activity spaces of both cross paths.

Simply put gambling will occur if an area provides the opportunity for gambling and it exists within a gambler’s awareness space

So, a space that offer gambling activities; casino, lottery shop, slot machine clubhouse or pub, sport betting house, turf club, a smartphone that provide internet access to gambling site and gambling advertisements and news, an off day or after working hours or free time that provide the free time to gamble, access to cash; saving and payday that provide the money to gamble has a higher rate of gambling,

Therefore, an addict pattern theory provides analysts with an organized way to explore patterns of behavior.

Space awareness refers to being aware of my surroundings and my position relative to them.

It’s important to know:

Where is the danger?
How far is the danger?
Am I in danger?
How to keep my safety perimeter secure?
How to flee from danger?
When to walk away from danger?

What is my role and responsibility to keep myself safe?

[notyoung56]

Now I can understand how the others in recovery feel
when they are not the first to be hired but the first let go in any company.

This is a common event or reality for me after I have aged.
When I was young, this was considered a heavy blow, set back, failure and unfortunate event.

Life does not come to a standstill after each relapse, it keeps moving.
It was never about how many battles that was lost in a war.
It was about who wins the war in the end.

It was never about how many buses I have change along the way
It was about where I have ended up in the end

Ukraine keeps believing and keep fighting…
To all the warriors in here, keep believing and keep fighting

[notyoung56]

I spend some quiet at a recovery center today, it helps me firstly to realize that the only thing which can help me now is to focus on working in the present. Secondly, it may or may not be my calling; my last job and present job was in the healthcare industry. I love what I am doing now, unfortunately my last day at work will be 26 Nov 2022.

I never work in the healthcare industry because I would feel very stressed serving in nursery or old folk home. When I was ready, the Higher Power placed me in the healthcare industry, and I was able to use my strength, my compassion and patient, my voice and tone to serve them over the phone. I wish to be able to continue in this area.

[notyoung56]

Life in recovery for me was like a broken or imperfect ship sailing in the rough ocean. I lack what I need but I never stop, I keep moving…I was worried about how I could service all my financial commitments for the rest of the year.

I am grateful that I have one more month to complete this year. I did not know how I did it, I have been doing this for 17 years (from year 2005 to 2022). Guess this is what they call a journey.

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